Two Pieces of a Broken Heart

I'm staring at myself in the mirror trying to figure out who is staring back at me. I'm in a tux, my hair is combed nicely and my face is freshly shaven, but for the life of me I have no clue who the hell I am. Ever since Lauren broke up with me three years ago I have lost myself. I haven't been myself in so long that I couldn't even tell you who I am. I'm just going through the motions of everyday life. At first my fans noticed and I played it off as a broken heart, which wasn't a lie, but now I am even fooling them. When I get up on stage to perform I just put on an act like I'm in a movie and I'm playing myself.

It's my wedding day and I should be happy and a part of me is happy but the other part feels like I shouldn't be doing this. Even though it was Lauren who left me completely shattered I feel like I am betraying her by marrying Lisa. Everyone knows about the feud that Lisa and Lauren had and was completely justified, but Lisa did bring me back to life after Lauren left.

There was a knock at the door but before I could respond the door opened and my mum walked in. She looked at me with a solemn smile as she closed the door behind her. She's been worried about me over the years. She sighed and walked over to me, taking a good long look at me before speaking. "You don't have to do this, you know?" She said.

"Mum, please don't start this again." I begged her as I turned away. My mom loved Lauren like her own daughter. They had gotten close in the short period that they knew each other. Then again you'd have to be blind and stupid not to love Lauren. She had that aura that just drew everyone to her and all you wanted to do was be around her.

"I'm not trying to start anything, all I am saying is you don't have to marry Lisa. I know you still love Lauren." She defended herself.

"I'm marrying Lisa, she is who I love." I snapped and quickly apologized to her.

"I don't doubt that you love Lisa. You've loved that girl since you were in high school. I've seen her change you, break you, fix you then start the cycle again. What I also know is that you're not in love with her, you will always be in love with Lauren. So don't put yourself through a life of settlement and second best choices." She told me. Her words hit me hard, no one knows me like my mom and no one can put me in my place like her.

"How do you know this?" I ask baffled.

"I gave birth to you, and I've raised you. And the boy standing in front of me isn't that boy. You fought so hard to get the band to become the success it is today. You have fought so hard for your fans and to have them be strong individuals. And never once have I seen you not fight for what you want. So why did you not fight for Lauren? Why did you just back down?" Her voice got high pitched toward the end of her explanation like it does when she's concerned. These words hit me harder than the last ones. Why hadn't I fought for Lauren? Then I remembered what I tried so hard to forget.

"Because she cheated on me with my best friend!" I spat angrily. "Why would I fight for a person like that?"

My mom smiled and shook her head. Why was she smiling at my pain? "Do you really believe that?"

I looked at her confused. Is she really questioning facts? "She told me she did. Zack told me they had sex. Why would they lie to me?"

My mom reached up and held my face in her hands, "you know Lauren very well, would she really cheat on you? Especially with both of your best friend? Would Zack really do that to you? They love you, they wouldn't hurt you. If they really went behind your back to hurt you why aren't they together? What's the point in hurting a person you love if you don't get anything out of it? Zack is here with Lena, would she really stick around if that really happened?"

My head is swirling with my own thoughts and doubts. I've never really talked about this with anyone. I just pretended it never happened. I wallowed in self pity for awhile then finally just let it go and moved on from it. I never questioned their admissions because why would they make something like that up? But my mom has a point, Lauren would never cheat on me. Especially not with zack, they were always adamant about not going that far. And Zack has been my best friend for so long, I know he wouldn't swoop in and steal my girlfriend when he helped me get with her? I'm so confused. Did my mom really have to bring this up on my wedding day?

"Well they said they did, we've all moved on from it. I'm marrying Lisa!" I pulled at my hair in frustration.

"Fine, do what you want to do, but I will be here to tell you I told you so when this marriage doesn't last." My mom huffed then walked out of the room.

Jack came in looking behind him at my mom confused. "What's wrong with your mom?"

I shrugged, "she doesn't want me to get married."

Jack's eyes widened and his mouth opened but he closed it quickly. I could tell he wanted to say something but is fighting himself to not say anything. Now what is he hiding from me? I could tell that my mom was holding back something too. I'm so sick of this crap. "Can I ask you something?"

"You just did." He laughed. I glared at him letting him know I'm not playing games. "Sorry." He mumbled.

"I know you are best friends with Lauren, and you probably know her better than me in a few ways." I paused taking a deep breath not really knowing if I want to ask this question or even hear the answer. But I ask anyways. "Did she really sleep with Zack?"

Jack looked at me shocked. He kept opening and closing his mouth like he didn't know how to answer. "Why are you asking about this now?"

"My mom said something that got me to thinking, now please tell me the truth." I told him. My heart is racing, what was I going to do once I find out the answer?

"Look, I love you dude, but this isn't a conversation to have with me. Lauren and Zack did something that they felt is what they needed to do. Take from that what you will." He sighed. "But you have about two minutes to figure out what you're going to do because its time to get out there."

I sighed running my hands down my face. Jack's answer was so evasive. What did he mean that Lo and Zack did something that they felt that they needed to do? Did they sleep together or not? I didn't have time to dwell over these thoughts because it was time to get married.

I took a deep breath and walked out of the room and into the sanctuary of the church. The music started playing and the wedding party made their way down the aisle. I braced myself for Lisa to come walking toward me, everyone kept telling me that it will be the most magical moment of my life. To see the woman you're marrying walk toward you in her wedding gown. I looked over at Lisa's mom who had tears running down her face as she watched Lisa. Then I look at my mom who had a pained look on her face. I wish I knew what my mom was hiding. Even my dad looked troubled and I've never known him to hold anything back. Once I took a good look at Lisa, who was now standing in front of me, I felt nothing.

"We are here today to celebrate Lisa Noel Ruocco and Alexander William Gaskarth in becoming husband and wife." The pastor started to say.

Lisa was looking at me with a huge smile on her face. She was so excited about this and I wish with all my heart that I could return ember excitement. But I couldn't back out now. Even though I feel nothing now, I owe it to Lisa to try. It wasn't that I don't love her because I do, I just have so many jumbled thoughts right now. I took a deep breath and smiled at Lisa.

As we were about to get to our vows the church door sprung opened and a voice yelled "you have to stop the wedding!"

There were gasps and confused words filling the room. I had no idea who this girl was or why she was stopping my wedding. Leave it to Lisa to find out though. "Who the hell are you and why are you interrupting my wedding?"

Before the girl could respond Rae jumped out of her seat, "Mercy, why are you here?" Who the hell is Mercy? I thought I knew all of Rae and Lo's friends. Though I haven't been in their little circle in three years. But I do know that they keep their circle pretty tight so this girl has to be dating one of their friends.

"I need to speak to Zack." Mercy said ignoring Rae's question.

"You really interrupted my wedding so you could speak to Zack?" Lisa snorted a laugh. "That could have waited!"

"Don't you dare talk to my girlfriend like that!" I heard a familiar voice snap. Candice walked in behind Mercy. She looked like she had been crying. Her face was still wet with tears.

Rae and Zack rushed to mercy and Candice. Lena walked close behind them. They talked in hushed tones for a few seconds. Rae gasped and choked back a sob. "Jack lets go, we're leaving." She instructed him.

"I can't just leave. I'm the best man." Jack told her.

"I don't have time for your shit, Jack. The only reason I am here is for you. I hate Lisa with a bloody passion and Alex hurt my best friend." She yelled at him. "I said we are leaving so lets go. It's an emergency." Tears were now streaming down Rae's face. I know her well enough to know it was pretty big because Rae doesn't cry over nothing. It has to be something painful to get her to cry. Jack knows this too and mumbled an apology before going to Rae's side. They both left the church right after.

Zack squeezed his eyes shut before looking up at me. "I'm sorry, so sorry."

"Sorry about what?" I asked him. I was getting worried because Zack looked scared and he's never scared. Well the only thing that could scare him is if Rae or Lo are hurt. And judging by the way Rae ran out if here in tears, Lo is hurt.

"I'm sorry for many things. Right now I am sorry for two things, one because I have to leave your wedding." He paused then looked over at my mom. She gasped and covered her mouth.

"Lo is hurt right?" I asked even though I already knew the answer.

"There was an accident. Her, Aspen, Briana and Jason are in the hospital. Thankfully Izzy and Faith werent with them. It doesn’t look good." Zack said as he fought back tears. Jason is Briana’s son. She had him about six months after Aspen was born. He was a surprise baby also, but one that was gladly welcomed by Briana and her boyfriend, or well from what I hear fiance now, Drew.

"Then go, you make sure they are okay. We can finish the wedding without you." I told him.

"I can't leave here without you. You have to be at the hospital." He told me which confused me.

"He's not going anywhere. He's about to be my husband and Lauren can crawl in a hole and die." Lisa said in disgust.

"Don't you speak about Lauren that way!" It was my mom who yelled at Lisa. I've never seen my mom speak to a person that way in my life.

"Why do I need to be there?" I questioned.

"I said I was sorry for two things, there's something you have to know." He paused. Candice and Mercy whispered something to him and he nodded. By this time my mom and dad had gotten up from their seats and were standing next to Zack. "I never slept with Lo, and I'm surprised you ever believed that."

"I don't get how that is relevant to this accident." I shook my head.

"Think about it, son." My dad told me.

I thought for a second then it connected and hit me like a ton of bricks. Zack and Lo never had sex, that means that he couldn't possibly be the father of Aspen. I am Aspen's dad. Holy crap, I'm a dad.

"I know you probably hate me for lying to you all of these years. But please, I'm begging you, put all of that aside and help Aspen. She needs a blood transfusion and has a rare blood type. Lo isn't a match and even if she is, she couldn't give blood because she's in bad shape herself." Zack pleaded with me. I had no idea what to do or say. Everyone knew this secret and didn't tell me. I've missed nearly three years of my daughters life and for what? I never did anything for Lo to break up with me and keep Aspen from me.

"Please Alex. I would help her myself if I could but I can't. She needs you. I can't lose Aspen. You can hate me, you can hate Lo but don't take it out on an innocent little girl." Zack continued to beg me.

"Go to your child." My mom said to me.

"What hospital?" I asked.

"John Hopkins." Candice said.

I didn't respond or say a word to anyone, I just ran from the church. I went to the limo that was supposed to take me and Lisa from the church to the reception and told them it was an emergency and I needed to get to the hospital immediately. The whole ride to the hospital I tried to wrap my mind around the fact that I was a father but I couldn't.

When I first found out that Lo was pregnant I was terrified but excited at the same time. Then my world was shattered when she said it wasn't my child. I was ready to be a dad in that moment then she took it all away. Now I have no idea how to feel about this. All I know is that I have to save her.