Two Pieces of a Broken Heart

“Do you know what year it is, Miss Montgomery?” the doctor who’s name I have forgotten asked me as she shined a flashlight in my face.

“2014. Can I see my daughter now?” I asked impatiently. He’s been asking me questions, shining that damn light in my face and checking the monitors for the past five minutes. It’s driving me insane. I shouldn’t have let Zack go get the doctor. All I want to do is see Aspen and make sure she is okay.

“Just one moment.” he said writing something down. “I can assure you that your daughter is perfectly fine. Her father is with her.”

Her father? Does that mean that Alex is here? I never made it to the church to tell him about Aspen so why is he here? Oh my god, did something happen to Aspen and he had to be here? But the doctor said that she was fine, so again why the hell is Alex here?

“What else do you need from me? I followed the stupid light, I have my memory in tact. I remember the horrific accident. I am fine. Please just let me see my daughter.” I begged him.

“You had swelling on your brain which is why you’ve been out for so long. We had to put you in a medically induced coma. We are hoping that since you’re awake and alert that the swelling has gone down, but we need to get a head CT and run a few test to be sure. This hasn’t been your first head trauma and you’ve had some memory lapses and medical problems in your past. I don’t want to leave anything up to chance. I want to make sure you are fully back to health.” he explained to me. “For now though, I will allow three people max at a time to see you until I can get you up to run those tests.”

The doctor left and a few minutes later my mom walked in with Faith following behind her. “Mommy!” she squealed as she jumped on the bed.

“Faith, be careful. Mommy is hurt.” my mom scolded Faith.

“It’s okay, Mom.” I told her. I may be sore and in pain, but I don’t care. I will put aside my pain to have my hyperactive daughter climb all over me. Seeing her happy just makes me happy and forget about the pain for a little bit.

“You were in a car accident and in a coma, it’s not okay.” my mom said, her voice cracked. I know she was upset. That’s when it hit me. Briana, how is Brie and Jason?

“Brie and Jase, they are okay right?” I asked in a panic. If Aspen is still in the hospital and I was in a coma, how bad were they? Please let them be okay because none of them would have been in the car if I hadn’t wanted to tell Alex about Aspen before he got married. I would never forgive myself if something happened to them.

“Oh honey, they both are fine. Jason just had a few cuts and bruises. Briana has a broken leg and had whiplash. But they both will be okay. They are resting at home now.” my mom reassured me. “We didn’t know if you would wake up and if you did would you even remember anything.” she sniffed. My mom is a highly emotional person but she never wanted us to see her cry. She always tried so hard to be strong for us. So when she does let us see her cry it breaks my heart.

“Aw, don’t cry momma. I am fine.” I told her as I reach over to rub her arm.

“I just worry about you, that’s all.” she kissed my forehead.

The door to the room opened and I saw Aspen sitting in a wheelchair being pushed in by Alex. I am not sure what stunned me more, seeing my precious baby girl in a wheelchair all banged up or seeing Alex standing in front of me. I haven’t been in the same room as him since I had Aspen. I always had someone else drop Faith off with him. I stopped going to gatherings where he would be. I didn’t want to be around him or Lisa. I just kept to myself, my family and my work. I’m still confused about why he is even here. I never made it to the church to tell him the truth about Aspen. So why is he here with our daughter? Shouldn’t he be on his honeymoon or something?

“Mommy!” Aspen squealed with her arms up in the air.

I don’t know why but I burst into tears. My baby girl is injured and it’s my fault. “Don’t cry momma.” Faith said giving me a hug.

“I’m okay, I’m just glad that sissy is okay.” I told her.

“Daddy taked care of her.” Faith informed me. Again I’m shocked. Why would he be here taking care of Aspen when he doesn’t even know that she is his? I know that he loved her until I made everyone keep Aspen away from him.

“Daddy, up!” Aspen told Alex and that’s when I stopped crying because I am shocked beyond belief. Did she just call Alex ‘Daddy’? I’m going to hyperventilate. Who the hell told? I know that Aspen has always known who her dad was, but we always told her if by some force of the universe she saw him that she is to call him Alex and not Daddy. And obviously Alex looks unfazed by her words so he knows, so I want to know who the hell told!

I couldn’t breathe, I could feel my chest closing up. I know I was about to tell Alex the truth so I shouldn’t be so upset, but I wanted to be the one to tell him so I could explain why I did what I did. Alex had already picked up Aspen and set her on my bed but I still couldn’t catch my breath. “Lo, breathe.” Alex said putting his hands on my cheeks. “Breathe in and out. Remember?” he instructed as he breathed in and out slowly. He remembered how to calm me down. Why? He’s married. He’s with Lisa. Why is he even remembering the small details about me?

“Who told you?” I blurted out as I calmed down a little. I pulled Aspen closer to me like I was guarding her from Alex.

“Zack told me.” he said looking away from me.

“I’m going to kill him.” I mumbled.

“Honey, don’t say that. Zack did the right thing. If he hadn’t told Alex then Aspen wouldn’t be with us.” my mom told me. Wait, what? The doctor said that Aspen was fine, but my mom said that she almost died.

“She was hurt badly in the accident and needed blood, but she has a rare blood type which is the same as mine. I saved our daughter. Be mad all you want, but I’m glad that Zack told me.” Alex looked hurt by me being upset that Zack told him, but that’s not the case.

“And I thank you for saving her life. But I’m not mad that you know, I’m just upset that I wasn’t the one to tell you. I was on my way to and this happened. I wanted to explain why I kept it a secret.”

“Everyone already has told me the whole story and I truly don’t remember. I swear I never slept with Lisa that day, and if I did then I was drugged because I would never ever do that to you.” he said sincerely. I could tell that he was being honest and it broke my heart that I never got all the information I needed. I just saw him naked in his bed and Lisa in his shirt and blew up. I let Aspen go three years without her dad.

“I’m sorry that I didn’t believe you.” I apologized. “I know that you would never abandon your daughter, but why are you still here? Shouldn’t you be on your honeymoon?”

Alex chuckled and scratched the back of his neck. “Well when one of your best friends and her girlfriend barge into the church and announce that the wedding can’t go on then one of my best friends say I have a daughter that I didn’t know about who needs me, a wedding tends to not go on.”

“Again, sorry about that. I’m awake now and I’m fine so if you want you can go and finish what you have to.” I said hugging both of my girls.

“After being told what I have over the past couple of days, I’m not going back to Lisa. I broke it off.” he confessed once again shocking me. “Plus I wouldn’t dream of leaving my girls.”

“Am I included in that or are you still mad at me for keeping this secret?” I asked curiously. I have missed Alex so much, but he didn’t fight for me, he gave in and went back to Lisa.

“You’ll always be one of my girls.” he smiled at me causing me to blush. I could tell that he was holding something back, probably to spare my feelings or not to start a fight, but I wasn’t going to push it. He is here and my girls are okay, that’s all I care about right now. “And for the record you look damn stunning as a brunette.”

Before I could respond someone came bursting through the door. I wasn’t even supposed to have this many in my room at once so more people would be bad. Who cares, we’re all rebels. I looked past Alex and saw Rae standing there. “Thank god you’re awake. I’ve missed seeing that pretty face of yours.” she said walking over to me and hugging me, with both Faith and Aspen in between us. “I would love to stay and catch up, and I will later. But right now I really need to talk to Alex.”

“Good to see you too.” I furrowed my eyebrows. My best friend would rather talk to my ex than me who has been in a medically induced a coma for two days. What the hell has been going on since the accident?

“You know I love you, but this is just really important. I will tell you all the juicy details later.” she said and she dragged Alex from the room. Before she left she poked her head in, “oh and uh Isaac is here.”

Holy fucking shit! No wonder she wanted Alex out of the room. The baby daddy and the current boyfriend in the same room will be hella awkward. Especially after that intimate moment. And well I’m not exactly sure I can fall Isaac my current boyfriend because I’m not sure we’re even still together. You see he left for this photojournalism trip in Africa and we said that we were going to take a break while he’s gone since he said he couldn’t handle being second best. He didn’t like the fact that I had started to struggle with telling Alex the truth about Aspen. He thought once Alex knew the truth that I would go back to him. He wasn’t completely wrong. Plus I know how it feels to be second best. I have always been second best. First with Blake then with Alex. I wasn’t even sure he would come home to me.

“Momma what am I gonna do?” I whined.

“I can’t answer that honey.” she sighed.

“Mommy, is daddy gonna live with us now?” Faith asked with hopeful eyes.

“Yeah, pwease.” Aspen begged.

“I’m not sure girls. We have to talk to daddy about that later.” I kissed both of their foreheads. How do I tell my kids that their daddy living with us may not be possible? Just because he is here now doesn’t mean that we will get back together.

“Knock knock.” I heard Isaac’s voice say as his head peaked through the door. “You look good.” he smiled.

“Thanks.” I smiled back. He came over and kissed my cheek.

I felt so conflicted in that moment. I’ve come to fall in love with Isaac in the past eighteen months. He’s been so good to me and to my girls. He loves Aspen and Faith. He loves me. He healed me when I thought I could never get over the heartbreak of Alex’s betrayal. Even though I still have feelings for Alex, I found myself falling deeply in love with Isaac. We’ve had our problems and I’m unsure of our status, but that never changed how I felt about him. But when he kissed my cheek right now, I felt nothing. I usually feel butterflies and blush. But now there is nothing. I’m not sure if it’s because I had just seen Alex for the first time in over three years and I’m still reeling from that or is it because in the month he has been gone that the feelings just faded. Out of sight, out of mind, right? But if that were the case wouldn’t I have gotten over Alex? Though I have kids with Alex so I doubt those feelings would never subside. Everytime I look at Aspen, I see Alex. When Faith goes to visit him and she comes home so happy and telling me everything she’s done with her daddy, it breaks my heart. This crap is so complicated.

“No!” Faith screamed and jumped off the bed.

“Faith, what is the matter?” I asked concerned. She has never acted like this before. Well only when me and Alex broke up and she was mad that she couldn’t see him.

“I want my daddy.” she screamed then ran out of the room. My mom looked at me then chased after Faith.

“I’m sorry about her. I think she’s gotten used to having her dad here.” I apologized to Isaac.

His eyes widened, “you’re back with him?”

“Oh no. I meant here in the hospital. I guess he’s been here since the accident. My mom said he’s been here taking care of the girls, mostly Aspen since his blood saved her.” I told him, giving Aspen a gentle squeeze.

“So he finally knows.” Isaac said nodding his head. I knew he wasn’t asking but I told him that it’s all out in the open. “Where’s his wife? I’m sure she’s not liking that he’s here all the time.”

“Apparently they didn’t get married.” I shrugged.

“I see.” he sighed. I know that this is all hard on him. He rushed back to Maryland from Africa to be with me just to find out that my ex is back in the picture, sort of. “Where does this leave us?”

“It doesn’t change much. Other than the fact that he’ll be in my life because I can’t and won’t keep him from Aspen any longer. My girls need their dad and I’ve deprived them of that for long enough.” I said sternly. “But as for us, that’s up to you. You know how I feel and I hated that you left for Africa even though I understood.”

I watched Isaac pace around for a few minutes, I could see the struggle in his eyes. This was just as hard on him as it is on me. I have two amazing guys and I don’t want either to hurt. But will Alex even be hurt? I know he said that he doesn’t want to be with Lisa anymore, but the doesn’t mean he wants to be with me. I don’t blame him if he doesn’t because I kept him from his daughter. This is making my head hurt. Can’t I just go back into a coma because then I wouldn’t have to deal with this drama. But I don’t want to be away from my girls either.

Finally Isaac stopped pacing and sat at the foot of my bed. “You know I love you, and I probably always will. You are a rare girl, Lauren Montgomery. You’re passionate about everything. You’re funny as hell. You are the most devoted person that I know, not only to your family but to your career. The way you capture a moment in time with her pictures is remarkable. You have the most amazing daughters in the world, who I am happy to know and to have watch grow up the past year and a half. And as much as I love you, I also know you. I know that Alex has your heart and you never got it back from him. I thought I could handle that, I thought I could win it over one day. But I don’t want to keep you from your family anymore. I let you go to be with him. And if by some miracle you decide that isn’t what you’ve always imagined or whatever, I will be here.”

I had tears streaming down my face. How did I land this amazing guy, just to break his heart? I am such a fool to let him go. But he’s right, Alex has my heart and I don’t see that changing. Not unless he throws it back at me. “I’m so so sorry. I wish it didn’t have to be this way. I do love you, so much. I just wish that were enough.”

“Me too.” he said sadly. “I should go now. Let me know when you get out of here though, I want to know that you’re still okay.”

“I will. And don’t be a stranger. I know it’s cliche but we were friends first, we can get back there right?”

“In time.” he nodded then got up and left the room.

My mom came back in the room as Isaac left but without Faith. She saw my concern and just shook her head. “She’s with Alex, I swear she has your attitude and stubborn streak.”

“What did you say to him?” I asked.

“If you want to know if he knows about Isaac, he does. Can’t keep much from him when his daughter is frantic, he wants to know the details.” she told me. “Speaking of Isaac, where is he going?”

“We broke up.” I sighed. “It’s for the best though.”

“He was good for you, I was rooting for you two. But then Alex walked into this hospital and I saw him completely break down and cry in his mom’s arms. The way he stayed here with you while Aspen was in surgery then stayed with Aspen and made sure you both were okay. He’s refused to leave this hospital. I knew the moment he told Lisa to leave because she was scaring Faith and he didn’t have time for her because his daughters were his number one priority showed me that you two were meant to be. I had a long talk with him and he still loves you and I hope that you two can work things out. Not only for both of your happiness but for your children. I failed to give you and your brothers and sister a proper family but you have the chance to give it to yours so do what you have to do.”

“Don’t say that mom. We may not have a dad growing up, well me and Leo, but that doesn’t mean we were deprived of anything. Ry and Johnny either. Dad may have died and left them without a father, but not for a second do we feel like we’re missing something. Yeah it was hard at times not having a dad. But you gave us everything we ever needed.” I told her honestly. Never once did I care that I came from a single parent. She played mom and dad so well. She worked herself to death to make sure we never felt neglected.

“I know honey, but it’s much easier when kids have both parents.” she smiled sadly down at Aspen.

The doctor came in and said that it was time for me to go do my tests. Aspen started to cry because she didn’t want to let me go but my mom told her that I would be right back but it didn’t calm her down much. All I know right now is that I need to talk to Alex and figure out where we go from here. I know I just woke up from a coma but I am a mother first and foremost and that is my priority right now.