The Black Swan

My mind was uneasy, since Roy decided to greet me in the morning. He had always been the person for surprises, but this was just too major. So he decided to broaden, that was certainly nothing new, he owned at least another four bars and clubs around the states, but none of them were as grand as his hobby-horse – the Vagabond. My brother certainly had the plans of the century. To be honest, he was one hell of a tactical thinker. With him everything went by some kind of a plan, that’s why he lost very rarely. He thought two if not even three steps ahead. That was something I learned from him, to be wise and always, always be prepared. For everything. Well this time he shocked me while I was standing with my back turned against him. You can’t come out of the blue like that and believe everything will be a-okay.

Right now I’m on the very edge, I have to think about the new place which has to be opened in a month and then this small apology speech. Like the club thing wasn’t bad enough, I had to deal with Brian. I really had made the biggest ass out of myself the other day and I knew it too darn well, I just didn’t want to admit I happened to be wrong at something, anything.

Oh boy how I wanted to be strolling down the Essex Drive right now, seeing my apartment building and hearing the loud meows of Buttercup. Just to be home, away from everything and everyone. To close the blinds, make myself a good mug of cacao, flip in a dvd of some romantic comedy and snuggle with my adorable beast, I wondered how was he doing. I gave the key of my apartment to Leann and told to check on Buttercup from time to time. Leann was an old friend of my and a darn good barista. She made the tastiest capuccino’s in whole Orange County. To think about it, I should offer her to work for me. Yeah, that would be great.

„Ally! Goddamit, Morgan, I’m talking to you!” I turned my head to see Jenna getting a bit irritated. Oh yeah, did I forget to mention Roy decided to be a no-show and made Jenna get me safely or not so safely (quite frankly, she wasn’t the best driver) to the show, because she would be there either way. Such a douche. I counted on him. I damn well knew that Jenna wanted to be in the enormous crowd, pump her fists in the air and scream her lungs out, while I just on the contrary. I didn’t want to be anywhere near the outrageous amount of people.

„Yeah?” I noticed her switching lanes, to make the turn left. I just hoped to god she won’t do anything to this car. Mom said to return it without a scratch and knowing of Jenna’s driving, let’s just say, I’ll be happy to give it back in one piece. I saw the traffic lights changing, but it didn’t seem like Jenna noticed it at all. „Stop!” I yelled, pushing my feet in the ground, imagining I had another set of pedals.

„What?” She stopped right on track, thank god for the seat belt otherwise I would be out through the window in a jiffy. Jenna seemed to get even more irritated.

„Didn’t you see the red light?” I yelled as I jerked on the belt, to keep it from choking me.

„Of course I saw it.” She said it matter of factly, eyeing me like I was mentally ill.

„Then why didn’t you stop?” I think it was safer both for myself and the pedestrians if I would’ve been behind the steering wheel. Even as worked up as I was at the moment, I would passionately avoid the small chit-chat with the cops that would form after I’d knock down a senior citizen. As for Jenna? She liked a man in a uniform and she would gladly drive over an elder lady, if that would increase her chance of meeting her one and only. And I’m obediently being silent about her and Matt’s relationship status.

„I would’ve made it,” The light turned to green and she drove off.

„Yeah, straight in front of that truck, you would...” I pointed out to the vehicle. Seemed like a volvo, but I was never that good with brands. I turned away, hoping she wouldn’t kill us both tonight.

„What’s crawled up your ass?” Being the charming self, as per usual. She took a sharp left just to avoid some bump in the road. Who the fuck gave her driver’s license? The person needs to be put in some mental care facility, because no one who is sane enough wouldn’t even consider letting her start the engine in the first place. I sure as fuck wouldn’t. My hand held on the seatbelt rather fiercely. I was in fact afraid for my life.

„Knowing the fact that I hate these shows and I’m probably going to die there if I don’t already on the way to the venue, oh and plus I have to apologize, then nothing... Absolutely nothing.” I hadn’t even noticed I had started biting on my thumb. „Oh yeah... and I have to open a club in a month.”

„My driving’s not that bad.” So that was the only thing she heard. Peachy.

„You nearly hit that dog,” I pointed out to the little pug who was now hiding behind it’s owner. The dog was lucky, I wanted to be in it’s place, after all I was the one sitting next to the maniac.

„It should’ve not been walking where I was driving.”

„He was on the sidewalk.”

„So?” Wow, she slowed down before she decided to make the turn. Applause for the great Jenna Davis. „Listen, it’s not going to be that bad. I’ll help you with getting the staff, Roy’s giving you unlimited amount of money to make the best of the place. It will be fine.”

„You forgot to mention Nikki and Andrew.”

„I didn’t forget. I don’t think they’re worthy of mentioning.” Even tho she was a complete asshole, she knew how to make me crack a smile. Oh and we had stopped, she had pulled up in a parking space in front of Walmart. I raised an eyebrow. Did we stop here to buy some gummy bears? Cause I craved Haribo at the moment.

„They’re playing in there...?” She unbuckled her seatbelt and took the key out of the ignition.

„Get out of the car, dumbass... We have to walk for another ten minutes, and we’re already late.”

„Well whose fault was it that you couldn’t stop watching Vampire Diaries?”

„Shut up.” I got out of the car and retied the laces on my shoes. They had this annoying habit of coming undone. A stupid material. What kind of genius makes the laces out of silk? „Oh come on, move your ass!” She was squeezing through a row of cars. I guess Jenna wasn’t the only one to come up with an idea of leaving a car next to a supermarket, because on daily basis, you would never see the parking lot full to it’s limits. „I don’t want to miss on all the good songs.”

Oh but I do. I want to miss all the songs. I breathed out as I put my rayban’s on and tagged along. I was not ready to face the guy, not yet. Maybe not ever, but I knew I had to get over myself. It was not healthy anymore.

„Can’t we get some Ballantines? I mean we’re at Walmart, it’ll be quick, I’ll promise...” I needed to get something to ease my nerves. Booze at the moment seemed like a splendid idea. I knew I’d regret it first thing in the morning, but what the hell. We lived only once. Yolo, right?

„We can turn to your alcoholism after the show, and remember you have a plane to catch early in the morning,” My... alcoholism? Nine times out of ten she’s more wasted than me and she dares to comment on my alcoholism?

„That means you’re forbidding me of getting completely shitfaced?”

„I didn’t say that, just don’t overdose,” since when was she the smart one? „I still remember the last time we drank that shit,”

„Well I don’t,” I pouted, seeing a white building raising in front of us.

„My point exactly,” She turned her head a little, just enough I could see her enormous grin. Quite the joker she turned out to be. „Okay, we’re here. Just need to find the way inside,”

I was looking at a very large building. There were a few girls roaming around the place, I decided they were the ones who didn’t get in. The grand entrance seemed to be sealed shut. „How are we getting inside actually?”

„We have tickets, remember? Besides I called Matt Berry and he said he’ll be waiting at the side entrance for us.” Matt... who? There was another Matt I didn’t know of? But then again what exactly did I know? I was like this clueless chimpanzee, just tagging along. „I see the entrance, come on!” She made this little jog and there in fact was a guy waiting outside. He had a huge grin on his face as he noticed Jenna running in her high heels. I still couldn’t understand why the hell was she wearing those things.

„Isn’t that the one and only Jenna Davis!” He shouted and greeted her with a hug. „You know you owe me big time for this, right? Shads was freaking out when he didn’t see you backstage.”

„Aah... He’ll get over it,” she waved him off, „You just had to slap his ass and say something nasty and he’d be calmer than a sloth.”

„I’ll remember that,” he lost himself in laughter, later turning to me. I didn’t agree on any sport like activities so, jogging? Nope, I was getting there in my normal, lazy everyday pace. „And who’s this?” There was a completely genuine smile ghosting on his lips.

„This is...”

„I’m Ally,” I cut her short, giving my palm for a handshake.

„She’s here to apologize to mr. Gates.”

„Apologize?” He chuckled, „For what?”

„She kind of bailed on him yesterday,” Matt held the door open so we could get in, we passed a few big bouncers as we went down the corridor. Matt was leading the way and Jenna was hot on his heels, while me... well, I hoped to get lost. I shoved my hands deep in the pockets of my leather jacket and searched for some sideway, maybe they wouldn’t even notice if I went missing.

„So that’s why he’s flipping out...”

„Flipping out?”

„Yeah, at soundcheck he was already playing the biggest asshole of the universe. Nothing suited his needs. He even decided he needed all of his guitars re-stringed, then he wanted a liquor they don’t sell in Miami and in the end he told he wasn’t going to do a solo...” Jenna looked back at me with a glare. I shrugged, it wasn’t my fault. If a person’s an asshole, you can do nothing about it.

„Then why are you putting up with his shit?” I decided it was my time to cheep. When the question was still in my mind it sounded a lot more logical than when it rolled over my lips.

„With Syn’s?” Matt questioned, „He’s one of the best solo players the world has seen, he can be a drama queen as long as he makes great music and fills the theaters.” I nodded.

We were undeniably approaching, the music became louder with every step we made. It was dark inside and really, really hot. And then the terrifying squealing came, if I didn’t know better I would’ve said somebody was killing someone, but nope, it was only the sound of overly fanatic girls. We passed another two bouncers, I guessed Matt was leading us backstage, cause we were going around all the noise from the audience. Yup, he led us behind the scene, I got there in the right time to see a bra being thrown at Brian. He moved away like nothing had happened. There were even flames everywhere, it was clear I had never been to a concert of this kind and for a single moment, I was surprised. Matt’s voice was even more wonderful when he sang or screamed or however it was called. No wonder why Jenna was spending all her time with him, I would too, just to hear that voice. It was swelling hot, I couldn’t imagine how was it to be in the epicenter of this whole madness.

„Here you go, ladies,” Matt Berry smiled and left. I noticed the spark in Jenna’s eyes when he saw her man rocking the stage. I didn’t want to ruin her happiness by saying she looked like a crazy person, so I just scanned the place.

I realized we got there in the time for the grand finally of the song, which Matt ended with a somewhat scream. The lights were turned off for a moment and when they went on again, Brian was holding a beer in his hand.

„Man, you guys are completely crazy tonight,” Matt laughed in his mic. „What do you say if I offer one of you the place of Gates for one song?” The audience erupted. I didn’t know if Matt was replacing Brian because he needed to chill out or was it because they did it all the time? I really didn’t know, this was the first of their shows I’ve ever been to.

They picked out a girl from the public and as soon as she got on the stage, Brian went to give her his guitar.

„What’s your name, honey?” Matt asked.

„Amanda,” She replied with a huge smile on her face. I wondered what would people give to be in her place right now.

„And where are you from, sweetheart?” She barely looked older than eighteen, but I could see the way she was looking at Matt. I glanced at Jenna and it seemed like she was completely fine with all the drooling fans, I sure as hell wouldn’t. „Are you from here?”

„Yep, born and raised.”

„Yeah, that’s the spirit.”

„So guys, you think Amanda will nail this?” Matt addressed the audience as Amanda, who by the way had absolutely stunning long black hair, moved towards Brian. He said something to her and she nodded. „You guys got her back tho, right?” The crowd erupted once again. Just a bunch of crazy people. But was it wrong to be crazy for music? Well, ones were crazy for music, ones were crazy for guys rocking the stage. Figures.

„You’re sure you’ve got this...” Matt spoke to Amanda and he nodded as one of the sound techs put headphones on her. „Okay,” he shrugged. „Let’s do this. Zacky, maybe you’ll start off and Syn, you...” He looked over to the guy, he sat down on the elevation of where the drums were, „you just have a drink and relax.”

That’s when Matt noticed Jenna, who waved for him. He winked back. I could’ve never told Jenna would be this girl, the one who waits for her guy to return safely home and even make breakfast in bed for him. Yes, I was also shocked, who knew Jenna could cook?

Soon after Brian turned his head and noticed me. I sure as hell was not going to wave and he sure as hell was not going to wink. Instead, to show my appreciation, I raised my middle finger so only he could see. He smiled into his drink.

„What the hell are you doing?” Jenna punched my upper arm. That’s going to bruise, „You’re here to apologize, not to insult him!”

The shortest member of the band, the one playing bass raised an eyebrow on Brian, but he just chuckled shaking his head as if saying ‘it was nothing’. „I’ll let him work for the apology.”