The Black Swan

„I want to die...” Matt whined from the back of the car. To our all surprise, note the sarcasm, he was hungover far beyond anyones beliefs. See, none could ever drink as much as he did, and none could ever be as hungover as he was, but I kind of got the image through what kind of torture he was going right now. Dizziness, headache and still hell of a hammered. We’ve all been there. Maybe divide it with two or three, but you get the picture.

„Shut up, Shads...” I shifted gears, noticing Brian cupping his head with the corner of my eye. He leaned further in the passenger seat, probably having the same wish as the big drunk back there. I tried hiding my amusement, but let’s be real, how often do you have the chance to laugh at a bunch of doofus, because you’re super sober yourself?

„Shut up yourself, Gates. You’re not the one who’s ass is going to get poundered... Fuck, I’m still drunk.” It was needless to say Matt was laying all across the backseat, just because he was too drunk or hungover (had no clue) to hold his head straight. I looked in the rear view mirror just to see, his hand over his eyes. He hadn’t even had the strength to button up his shirt and of course his jacket was laying somewhere on the ground. That left me wondering, if Jenna was as hungover as her groom.

„Well you had to think about it before your threw your sorry ass in a barrel of tequila...” I studied Brian’s profile as we stopped to the red light just to see my super hot boyfriend, not so hot anymore. He was wearing his rayban shades, which made him look a little bit more decent, a black button up shirt that looked like he had pulled it out of his ass and a tortured grimace. Hey, cheer up sunshine, it’s a beautiful day.

„Fuck you... It was your idea.” Matt groaned as he hit his head against the door, as I started off and immediately pulled to the left just to see a maniac coming from my right. „Hey watch it!”

Okay, I couldn’t hide my amusement anymore. I cracked up, forcing the pair of living dead to look at me. „I’m sorry, I just... It’s so good to be sober.”

„I really hate you right now...” Matt whispered, getting back to his meditation, or rather- prayers, for the hangover to go away.

„Why are you even sober?” Even tho Brian was wearing sunglasses, I could see him squinting his eyes and being quite angry with me, cause I, unlike certain someone, was feeling wonderful. The chicken soup Brian’s step mom, Susie, brought me yesterday must’ve did the trick.

„Cause someone had to bring your stupid asses to the wedding,” I noticed we were running out of gas. Fast. It meant if we don’t make a quick stop at the gas station, we don’t make it for the wedding, and if we do, we’re late. Big time. Good job, Brian. „I think I told you to fill the gass...” The red light was mockingly blinking in my face. He sat up to look at the panel just to fall back as soon as he realized his car is running out of fuel.

„Yeah, I guess you did...” He showed absolutely no interest in the matter and it kind of got me a tiny bit mad. Brian turned to look out the window. Okay, I’d accepted a while ago that he was a bit irritating at moments, but excuse me? Since when was it my obligation to refill his gas tank?

„Then why didn’t you do it?” I was incredulous.

„Must’ve lost the message along the other meaningless crap you made me do.” Pardon? I raised my eyebrows, not spotting any concern in the matter.

„So you didn’t tell Susie to look over Buttercup, while we’re gone?”

„Nope,” He popped the ‘p’, ignoring me fully.

„Guys...” Matt weakly tried to cut in, but to no success.

„And you surely didn’t fix the dishwasher, I told you about days ago...”

„And I didn’t take out the trash either...” Finally he looked at me and seeing his sarcastic grin, I think something exploded inside of me.

„Al, can you stop the car?”

„You’re a lame excuse for a man, you know that?” I gave a last, furious glance at him, before fixing my eyes on the road, to ease the temptation of hurting him.

„Oh please...” He snorted. „It’s not like you live up to my expectations.”

„You know, I can stop right here and you can get out of the car, if I’m that bad for you.” I couldn’t say my dream was to be a designated driver, and neither was bearing with Brian’s awful character.

„It’s my car!” And we weren’t even dating for longer than a week and look where it led us. Yup, that’s right to a gas station.

„Okay, I’m going to throw up now...”

„Then why aren’t you behind the wheel? Oh right, cause you’re too fucked to even tie your shoe laces!”

The sound that made us both stop arguing and look over our shoulders was a very odd noise and an even weirder view of Matt throwing up. You would think he opened the door to do it, cause we had already stopped, but no. He threw up in Brian’s car. I would’ve clapped and laughed if I wasn’t forced to be in it for another hour.

„What the fuck man?” Brian yelled and I couldn’t understand if I was supposed to feel amused, or was I supposed to be kind of pissed. „You just threw up in my car!”

„Well, what else was I supposed to do, when you both were screaming at each other?” He wiped his mouth with the surface of his palm. Okay, the smell was very much disgusting and it made Brian even get out of the car.

„You were supposed to open the door...” I said it matter of factly, but once I saw the pile of his yesterday’s macaroni on the floor, I nearly puked all over the black lacy dress, Jenna forced me to wear for the wedding. You can’t imagine what was the speed in which I got out of the car. „Fuck...”

„You can easily call J, and tell we’re going to be fucking late...” Brian was already taking a cigarette out of the pack, looking like he was about to throw up himself if he didn’t suppress the odor with something even more repulsive.

„For once maybe you’re not that blind and stupid...” I hissed, holding my breath as I leaned inside of the car to take out my phone. And look at that. I got a text from J.

Cancel the wedding, I’m in Vegas.

„Shit...”