The Black Swan

„Where the fuck were you?” Matt raised his head as we approached.

„Bathroom.” Brian shrugged his shoulders, acting casual as he opened the passenger seat door. How could he be... well... so him, was just beyond me. Three times out of four, I regretted I hadn’t taken the path of a homicidal maniac, instead I chose to be a mere bartender. Fine, maybe not mere, I was a maniac, but homicide was not my scene. To my regret.

I rolled my eyes as I went around the car. Once I got inside, my eyes landed on the ground to see it free from Matt’s last meal. Well... Partly free. The effort was what counted, right? „So we’re behind schedule, huh?” Matt looked surprisingly good, knowing his insides were practically all over the gas station. My fingers went for the key to start the engine. The image of Brian’s smirk was engraved in my skull. I swear he’ll be the reason for me ending in some kind of an asylum, cause he was driving me mad. Constantly.

„Yeah, I guess so...” My foot hit the gas, making the car move forward and out of the station. Mine and Brian’s previous little intercourse made me wonder how many girls had he fucked in the bathroom of a gas station. I could bet on my pinky- more than he could remember.

„So is Jenna already there?” How could Matt be that sure I had talked to his fiancé? Oh right, maybe the fact she was my sister from another mister? Which left me thinking, had she even invited her parents to the wedding? Last time I heard, they had a fight over her moving to Huntington Beach and dropping out of some beauty school. See, Jenna wanted be a hairstylist a couple years ago. Where on earth did she get the idea a drunk hairstylist was a good one, was beyond me.

„No...” I turned my head to see if there was a car coming from my left, so I could switch lanes. You’d think I lay the truth to him? Yeah, right. I wasn’t that bad of a friend. To neither of them. „She’s playing the casual bride and being aristocratically late.” Aristocratically would be showing twenty minutes late, not... well, I hoped to see her face in the next two hours.

„Oh... That’s good I guess...” He sounded down. I studied his face in the rear view mirror to see him looking outside the window and it seemed like he was struggling over something. It didn’t seem like his best friend mister Synyster Gates even noticed it.

„What’s wrong?” I turned down the radio, which made me feel like I was living in some eighties rockstar fantasy. Pour some fucking sugar on me. Did they refer to sugar as coke and blowing the strokes from a naked body was what rockstars did? Didn’t know, had to ask some of these bad boys.

„Nothing...” His shoulders dropped as he breathed out. Hearing concern in my voice, Brian was forced to look at his friend.

„You’re not thinking of bailing your own wedding, are you?” A wrinkle formed in Brian’s forehead, as he partly turned in his seat to have a better look on Matt.

„No... God no.” He waved him off. We were just a couple of minutes from the church and somehow it made my stomach feel upset. How the hell was I going to stall the guests for god now hows long? I damn well knew they were going to give questions and I’ll be damned if Matt will stay silent. „It’s just... Jenna’s too good for me.”

„What?” Well that clearly made Brian and me burst in laughter, and the car nearly bump in that mercedes in front of us. My eyes were starting to get teary of the laughter and I hardly saw the road. In the very last second I hit the brakes.

„She is!” Matt protested, his voice turning out a little louder than he had wished for.

„We’re talking about the same Jenna, who flashed every bartender at Johnny’s?” Even Matt’s protest didn’t stop Brian from laughing his ass off. „The same who stole a key card from the lobby boy when we were in Miami?”

„She did what?” My head jerked to see Brian, who just waved me off. She stole what? Man that was just Jenna’s style, but I couldn’t believe she hadn’t told me about it.

„You guys just don’t understand...” Matt looked annoyed with us. Only now? „She’s the most sweetest person I know...” Call her anything, a bitch, a maniac, the most annoying friend, but don’t call her sweet, cause that’s one thing she’s not. She was about as sweet as I was sedulous and we all knew I did not do the dishes, nor I mopped the floors. That’s what Brian was for. „My mom adores her, my dad wants her to move in and me... I love her more than anything.”

„Then where’s the problem?” I closed my eyes to his ridiculous imagination and tried to be the friend, Brian failed to be.

„I’m afraid I’ll mess up and she’ll just leave me for someone like... like...”

„Will?” We stopped just outside the church, but I didn’t have the time to feel anxious, cause I needed to get to the bottom of this. Matt nodded. Brian looked questioningly at me, as if waiting for me to clear them both from the doubt. „Look...” I sighed, turning in my seat as I fixed my eyes on Matt’s sad face. „We all know that crazy idea of yours of Jenna being the sweetest person to walk this planet, leads to another crazy idea of her getting back to her ex she hates more than she loves you. I know her, okay? And I know Will. Yeah, they have a past. A shitty one, and she would be insane if she turned him in for you. There’s nothing left but hate for Will.”

„Then you want to tell me what happened a couple weeks ago?” Was he referring to the kitchen accident, cause I couldn’t describe it other than a true and fucked up accident. I had no comments on that, cause even I was clueless. I had been drinking that night and the memories came to me in a blurry format.

„It was a mistake.” Brian replied on my behalf, placing his palm on my thigh as if saying he was taking over from now. „Look at me and Al... We make a lot of mistakes and they usually turn out as great stories to tell your grandchildren.”

„We’re going to have grandchildren?” My voice turned out a bit high pitched. The thought of me and him having kids and our kids having kids, left me puckering my eyebrows. He didn’t answer. Why didn’t he answer? I want him to answer!

„Don’t do this to her. You’re probably the best thing that has happened to J, believe me, you’re not such a shitbag you think you are.” Brian’s hand slowly slid up my thigh. Please, not again.

„I don’t know man... I just think she needs someone who can entertain her. I’m getting old, I don’t want to party as much anymore. She needs someone who can keep up with her, someone younger, you know man...” Matt didn’t even notice Brian’s hand disappearing underneath my dress yet again, that’s how deeply in thought he was. „It’s like eating a ham sandwich... You know... You eat the crust first and you leave the best to the end.” Okay, he was drunk and this metaphor of his... I really did not understand, but hey, it’s Matt. He’s not the most smartest of them all.

„You want a ham sandwich?” I was left a little bit confused. Fine, I was deeply confused, both by Matt’s remark and Brian’s odd behavior. He was brushing his hand up and down my thigh and I noticed him looking from time to time at me with the corner of his eye.

„No... What? No...” He made disgusted face. So food was not on his mind right now. „I just feel like I’m the crust now and she’ll leave me for someone better.”

„You’re crazy...” I laughed out, opening the door and getting out of the car, leaving Brian hanging there on his own. If Matt really thought Jenna was going to leave him for someone else, he had to look for a shrink. He was the only guy Jenna even considered getting married to and that was really something.

We were just outside the St. Bonaventure Church, which was a white building, built in the last decade. A very modern construction, I wouldn’t even tell it was a church if it wasn’t for the cross reaching towards the sky. Why exactly this church? Because it was the only one that approved to marry Matt and Jenna, knowing J was anything but catholic and Matt insisted on it happening under the eye of God. Getting out from one nightmare and jumping straight in the other. Three bodies were standing beside the gate and to my dismay, they spotted me. My brother and Jenna’s folks.

„Mis and mister Addams!” A fake smile ghosted on my lips. Someone just shoot me. Now. I hadn’t seen them since I left Vagabond and they blamed me for Jenna’s fucked up life, but they surely loved my brother. Obviously. Who didn’t love Roy?

„Are those...” I looked over my shoulder to see Matt getting out of the car, with a very pale face.

„Yup!” I waved to them, wishing this all would just be over. It was needless to say this was the first time Matt met Jenna’s parents. Without J. And then something even worse happened, although I thought nothing could shook my world even more, but hey... This was just not my day.

„Mom?” I studied the petite built coming out of the church. Her hair was neatly done and she was wearing one of her expensive Versace suits. A pencil type skirt and a plain black jacket, and of course heels that made her appear taller than she really was. If you asked me, I would say she didn’t even need the heels, cause she had this personality that made her seem tall enough. I didn’t hope to see her here, if I hadn’t seen her on the opening of The Black Swan.

„Oh great...” Brian seemed just as happy as me. She had met him before, but this was the first time she would meet him as my other half. And somehow I didn’t think she would be happy with the thought.

„Alison, what a pleasant surprise!” She came towards with her best make believe smiles. A surprise? I’m the best friend of the bride!

I hugged her in an awkward manner. „What are you doing here?”

„Me? I’m here for the wedding of course. Jenna is like a daughter to me.” What? Was she on some kind of drugs? She felt the same way for Jenna as Jenna’s mom felt for me. „And this must be...”

„My boyfriend.” For someone who didn’t know my mom, the shock and anger which glimpsed in her eyes for a half of a second, would’ve just slipped by, but not for me. I had known her for a little too long, to not notice the disapproval.

„Oh? And how long have you been together?” She asked politely.

„A couple of weeks.” Well that made her lit up quite fast. She thought of this as one of my temporary insanity glimpses. Nothing to be worried about. At least so she thought.

„Hello Matt,” Mom greeted him.

„Hi, mis Morgan. How was your flight?” My mommy dearest had always liked Matt, and she knew him even when I didn’t. The same went for Brian. They used to stay at our place when ever they were in Miami, being such good friends with Roy. Why didn’t mom like Brian in particular? Probably cause he used to be a whore and changed his sluts more often than he changed his socks. Mom knew everything.

„It was fine. So are you ready?” She switched me and Brian out of the conversation completely, discussing the nerve wrecking stress before the wedding, and saying Jenna was the right girl for him, when we all knew she didn’t mean a word she said. I looked at Brian to see him feeling just as awkward as did I. We both walked a bit further to take the hourly smoke.

„I get the feeling your mom doesn’t like me too much.” He lit up his cigarette, later offering me the fire.

„She doesn’t like me either.” I took a quick drag, moving behind the fence, so none could see us. I didn’t need the extra trouble with my mom lecturing me about smoking. „Roy’s the good child, I’m the one who turned out... wrong.”

„I believe that’s not true.” He tried cheering me up.

„Your beliefs are wrong.”

„I mean... You and Roy are not that different.” He blew out a thick cloud.

„Try telling that to her.” I inhaled the smoke, leaning against the white fence. „She just thinks I’ve messed my life cause I fucked the scholarship I got.” He frowned his eyebrows. Oh, so he didn’t know. „I wanted to go to Yale, but in the last moment I decided to screw everything and work as a waitress.”

„Well maybe that was a dumb shit to do...” He shrugged. „Beats me, you’re successful enough even without the proper education.”

I gave him a weak smile, just to see him deep in his thoughts. „What’s up?”

„Oh no... nothing. Just thinking if it’s why she doesn’t like me... Cause I’m not smart.” I laughed.

„Of course not. She doesn’t like you cause you used to fuck around.”

„How do you know that?”

„Please...” I snorted, putting out the cigarette against the fence. It wasn’t so white anymore. „You’re the Synyster Gates. I think you guys get a manual once you become famous of what a rockstar should do. You, in particular, did every skank, when you were in Miami.”

„You’ve met me before, have you?” He had a puzzled look on his face. „Have you?” He repeated the question, getting a bit nervous. A sad smile formed upon my lips. This was not what I wanted to discuss with him. Ever.

„You were drunk and I was stupid.”

„Fuck... Ally...” His fingers disappeared in that raven black hair of his, as if he had remembered something. „You were that little pixie... I’m so, so sorry, baby... I can’t believe I didn’t recognize you.”

„It’s okay,”

„No, it’s not... I’ll make it up to you... I swear I’ll do.”

„Chill out, Haner. It’s not like I even remember it anymore.” Sure I did, but he didn’t need to know I recalled everything from that night. A black limo passed us and after a couple of seconds we heard a loud shout.

„The bride’s here!”