The Black Swan

„Well thank god, you both are alive,” Jimmy turned around to meet us. He was standing not far from the elevation the band was playing, but far enough from the place where guests had their meals and drinks. He and Zacky were sipping on something that didn’t quite have the resemblance to champagne. „I already thought the fairies had stolen you both.”

„Nah, we just had some stuff to do.” Stuff... Me crying all over Brian is called ‘stuff’ nowadays. Okay. Why not. Twenty first century after all.

„Oh yeah? What kind of stuff?”

„None that concerns you.” Brian smiled sweetly.

„I seem to get you both are hiding something from me.” Jimmy pouted. „Aren’t we friends anymore?”

„What’s up with you, Jimbo?” It was my time to cut in.

„I just feel we don’t hang out anymore as much as we used to... I would be so happy if we’d grab a beer and I don’t know, went to the pier or something and just... just fucking chilled, guys...”

„Yeah, me too...” Zack raised a bottle of Corona to his lips.

„What do you say about this weekend?” Jimmy urged. That seemed a great idea, Brian really needed to get his head out of the gutter and just have some fun with the guys. And it meant I could catch on the paperwork I hadn’t had the time to deal with since me and Brian got together.

„Oh no, Jim, this weekend is bad for me... us...” Brian corrected looking over me. Why was he using the word ‘us’? I had no intentions of being the party crasher or what so ever. „We have to go to my dad’s for McKenna’s birthday...”

„So much for the great plan...”

„Wait guys, I’m sure you all can figure something out. McKenna’s birthday is only on Monday, we can tell your dad we’ll be in the right time for the party, so you all could hang out.”

„That’s actually smart...” Jimmy looked surprised, but just a second later he winked to me. He was a great guy and I loved him just as much as the rest of the guys in the band. Brian really did have the best friends.

„We wanted to spend time with my dad...” Brian turned to look at me. I started to feel guilty, but I damn well knew this was not the first, nor the last time, when we’d have the chance to catch up with Brian senior.

„We’ll do it some other time, Bri. Right now, I believe your best friends have missed you like hell. You all should really hang out.”

„What about you?” Zacky asked.

„Me? I’ll be fine. Guys night, right? Just don’t get Jimmy hostage again.” Jimmy looked guilty, oh so he thought I didn’t know of his little experience with the cab driver earlier? Too bad, Jimbo, cause I was the one to bail you out.

„Shit, we’ll be missing Matt...”

„Matt’s been missing ever since he got engaged and I’m afraid Gates here will too soon enough.” Yes, Jimmy knew how to kick straight into the feels. I didn’t do this on purpose, it wasn’t my fault Brian always excused himself with something ‘important’, when in fact he just wanted to watch some movie and have cocoa with me. The true life of a rockstar, sipping on some hot chocolate and watching romantic flicks, while crying all over his girlfriends shirt. Yes, Brian Haner shed a tear while watching Dear John.

„Brian’s not going anywhere, guys,” I assured them, „I’m not taking your best friend away, in fact I believe he’ll be spending a lot of time with you all. The tours soon to come, right?”

„Wait... you’re not coming?” Brian leaned over to whisper in my ear. I just shook my head.

„Tour is tour Bri, and I’m not your girlfriend on tour. I’m your girlfriend right here, at home. You have to be Synyster Gates while you’re out there and I happen to love Brian Haner. There’s a difference.”

„It will be six months, Al, you understand that right?” Zacky had caught on the conversation.

„You should come, my cheesecake is also coming...” Jimbo added. I really liked Jimmy’s girl, the same one who was now talking to Roy and Jenna’s folks. She brought some sanity into Jimmy’s head, but ...Yeah, no, as tempting as it was, I didn’t want to see Brian as Syn. I didn’t like his cocky alter ego and I couldn’t deal with the girls sneaking in their tour bus. Seeing some fans drooling over my man was one thing, fighting off hundreds of them was another.

„I don’t think it would be wise. I have to run business down at the club, I can’t leave it for too long.” Knowing of the backstabbers who worked at my club and knowing how Jenna would obviously go with Matt and I won’t have anyone to rely on, The Black Swan would turn into yet another Vagabond under the surveillance of Nikki, even if I didn’t leave it up to her, she would get her way around. That was just how this world worked. That was how she worked.

„We’ll talk about it later.” Brian spoke, making it known we weren’t done here. Yay. Note the sarcasm. „So how did it go at that Comic Con thing?”

„They kicked me out.” Jimmy answered by shrugging his shoulders. When did he and Comic Con had anything in common? Other than those bright kimono’s.

„What the hell for?” My boyfriend couldn’t contain the laugh.

„They said I couldn’t go for the cosplay if I wasn’t wearing a costume... I got in a bit of trouble with the authorities.” Jimmy smiled.

Okay, it seemed very much reasonable, but knowing Jimmy, he obviously had something to add.

„I... It’s just whatever. Rachel dragged me there and who thought The Rev wasn’t a good enough superhero for them? I know I’m beautiful... and it works for me.”

„Oh hey, it’s time for their dance...” Zacky nodded towards the free space behind me and Brian and we all turned to see Matt taking Jenna by hand and leading on the dance floor.

The band which had happily entertained the guests for this whole evening was starting to play something that made me feel like I had just walked into an Addams family mashup with some Disney movie.

„Isn’t that the theme from Edward the Scissor hands?” Zack’s eyes followed the new couple as they danced around the decent sized square. My eyebrows shot up and my jaw fell open seeing how flowing were Jenna’s movement. Her dress wrapped around her body, leaving hardly anything left for imagination. Since when did she waltz? I felt Brian’s elbow in my side. At first I thought it was meant for me to stop the staring, but then I noticed he was offering me his elbow. They changed the song to Tom Jones- What’s New Pussycat? Just then I saw practically everyone taking over the dance floor.

„Dance with me...” He plead, with a great smirk on his face.

„Do you even hear what’s playing?” I giggled sliding my hand in his. He couldn’t be serious. He wanted to slow dance to... this?

„Pussycat, Pussycat you’re delicious...” He started singing along, bringing a great laughter out of me. „What?”

„Charming.” I laughed, before he spun me around and pulled close to himself, taking my hand in his and the other sliding over my back. I saw his dad and Susie standing aside and looking over us with a genuine smile. At least it seemed like his parents liked me. Some ballad started playing in the background. I looked up at Brian to see him deep in his thought. „What’s up?”

„Just thinking we need to get a new place to live...” Oh no, not this subject again. We already discussed it and I was not ready to say goodbye to my wonderful condo. Not now, not ever. I loved it too much. „Knowing how you don’t want to live in my house, I guess we have to search for something else.” He said it as if it was no big deal finding a brand new house in California. Maybe it wasn’t, but not when you were completely and utterly... broke.

„Why can’t you just move in?” I knew that wasn’t an option- a rockstar living in a condo, but hey, it was cozy and wonderful. And we truly did have plenty of fun in it.

„You’re not serious...” He looked me like I was crazy, before sighing, „Pinkly needs some space to stretch her legs, that’s why I own a house.”

„But I don’t want to live in a house...”

„I have a house keeper if you’re worried about that.” Sure, it was exactly what was troubling my mind. I was worried sick about how would I keep the house clean. Note the sarcasm. No. I just didn’t see myself living in a place that requires mowing lawn.

„It’s not-„

„Hey, can I cut in and steel your girl?” Matt had stopped our soon to be argument, by dragging me away. Brian didn’t object and just moved to dance with Jimmy’s Rachel. „Looked like you were about to start a fight.” It was slightly different dancing with Matt than with Brian, he, for example, didn’t drop his hand as low and he held a few inches between us, nevertheless, the dance was charming. It was extremely easy to waltz with him.

I exhaled heavily, looking anywhere, but his eyes.

„Hey, what’s up? You can tell me...”

„It’s nothing really... He just wants for me to move in, that’s all...”

„So where’s the problem? It’s not like you’ve known each other for two days.”

„I don’t... It’s hard to explain. I guess I’m not ready to say goodbye to my flat. It’s been everything I had for the last couple of years. I’ve grown quite attached to it. Don’t ask.”

„You don’t have to say goodbye...” He said like it was oh so obvious. „Just put it up for rent. People are lot more willing to rent from the owner than from those madly overpriced complex’s.”

„Hey... that really sounds good. Thank you Matt.”

„What are friends for?” He grinned mischievously. Oh no. „And now... Where’s my invitation?”

„I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

„Oh come one... You know exactly what I’m talking about...”

„No, I don’t.” I teased, I didn’t feel ready to give out invitations to a wedding which most probably won’t even take place, cause I sure as hell don’t see a ring on my finger, did you? „Better tell me where are you going on your honey moon?”

„Haven’t mrs Sanders told you?” I noticed the way the words rolled down his tongue and to be completely frank, he looked like the most proudest, most happiest man on earth. I shook my head in response. „We’re going to Vegas.” I frowned. Again? Jenna just returned, not that Matt knew of course. „You know how I feel towards strip clubs and gambling.” His smile went from ear to ear. Sure I know. It’s his happy day when Jenna runs out of bars to drink and they’re forced to go to see some strippers. He spun me out, before pulling back. Don’t do that ever again, please. These heals are really killing me and I doubt I’ll be able to walk in the morning with or without them. „Right after we’re spending some days in Bahama’s and then going to Miami.”

„Hey Matt?”

„Yeah?”

„Thank you... for everything.” My voice grew a bit quieter, as for him? A deep wrinkle formed between his eyebrows and the sudden need to explain myself hit without a warning. „At first I didn’t think you were right for Jenna, but now I really see you both are meant for each other. You just... Are that perfectly disturbing couple everyone wants to be friends with.”

„Thanks... I guess...” That famous dimpled smile formed on his face, before he started laughing. „But hey, look at yourself and Gates, I couldn’t quite describe you as the couple who is made straight after the instructions of a manual. How are things between the two of you?”

„Like a freaking roller coaster.”

„That good huh?” He had led me further away from Brian as we danced and I felt thankful for it. I couldn’t burst out expressing my inner demons, while one of them was standing just a couple of feet away.

„He’s just... a rockstar. Sure he tells he loves me, but I also know he just loves every other woman. I think he’s more than in love with the thought of me pushing away and not letting in completely.”

„I can assure you he’s not.” Of course, who else would he defend if not his best friend? Hell, I would do the same for Jenna, and to think about it, I already had. Several times. It was not about the truth as much as it was about defending someone who is dear to you.

„No, Matt, I get it, I really do. I don’t think I would even be mad if he had some lady on tour with him, I would mind if he brought this lady home.”

„You’re serious?” He pushed me a bit back, so he could look into my eyes. I nodded. His expression said more than his words would. He thought I was crazy. „Hell, I would go ape shit if I found out Jenna would be cheating on me.”

„Have you seen the way she talks to guys? I couldn’t quite say she’s flirting, more than flipping them off.” It was true. If you were a guy and you were interested in the dj, who happened to be previous Jenna Davis, now- Jenna Nicole Sanders, you’d have a very hard time to getting even to know her name, if only, by some miraculous accident, some moron wouldn’t yell it out. Up until now, I couldn’t quite put my finger on how Matt got her to go out. I’ve heard her telling the guys to ‘go fuck themselves’ for several times, if only they offered to buy her a drink. Translating this all after Jenna’s logic- it was an insult to offer her a drink. The gesture meant she was some cheap bimbo, who was incredibly broke and couldn’t even afford to buy her own scotch. There wasn’t really anything nice to say to get her out on date. If you said she had pretty eyes, she thought you are trying to get her in bed, if you asked her for her name- she thought of you as some no life stalker, if you tried out for her phone number- well, I’ll just say you better have some health insurance. But there was something... If you told her your plans straight away, there was a tiny chance she would crack a smile and think of you as an adorable creature and even considering having sex with you. Of course if you were good looking and had big arms. She was a sucker for biceps. And she was sucker for Matt, so if only you weren’t Jared Leto, there’s no luck for you.

„Not always,” He objected, looking somewhere over my shoulder.

„Mis Sanders has criss crossed the world to find her one and only and nobody caught her eye, except you. So whatever you had been doing, keep doing it.”

„I’m not doing anything.” He smiled goofily hearing me calling J as mis Sanders. „I just love her the way she is.” That couldn’t be entirely true. Jenna didn’t like sweethearts, she preferred a rough love, so he could keep that bullshit about loving her with all her flaws to himself. I knew for fact, she would never consider involving herself with mr. Shadows, if he didn’t treat her like he was superior than her. „The same is with Syn and you. He tells you’re different.”

A scowl took over. Different? Like different, but in a good way, or different like missing a significant piece of puzzle?

„Don’t ask... You just said Jenna had searched the world for me, well... Gates waited for half decade to see you again.” Hold up, so he knew? He had told Matt about me? Jesus Christ, was there anyone who didn’t know about mine and Brian’s interesting relationship? „I’d say you were bound to be together.” My eyes fixed on Brian, who was pacing across the dance floor, heading straight in our direction. „I’m not saying he won’t mess up at one point, and I don’t say you need to let it slide, just... see what happens.” Okay, I got very confused. What the hell was he talking about? To see what happens when he finds another girl to sleep on? Sure I said I wouldn’t mind on those things what would happen while him being on tour, but acting like a dick back at Huntington was a fully different scenario.

„May I?” Brian put his hand on Matt’s shoulder. „I just... I can’t stand not being around her.”

„Sure,” he replied, before leaving us all alone. It didn’t seem like Brian was in his dancing mood, so we just walked off the wooden square.

„I really want you to come on tour with us,” He started, leading us to a white bench further away from all the guests. „It will be so boring without you.”

„Brian, I... I can’t.”

„Why?” In a swift movement he pulled out a pack of cigarettes and lit one up. „I mean, it’s not like I’m asking you to move to China.” No, he wasn’t, but it was practically the same goddamn thing, I would be away from Huntington, which meant I would be away from The Black Swan and in complete suspense about what was going on there. He tugged us in a thick cloud of his Marlboro smoke.

„You have to understand, I can’t leave everything and just do whatever the hell I want. I have my obligations,” And for the last couple of days I wasn’t doing neither of them.

„And what the hell should I suppose to do when those assholes will be begging for mercy when their girlfriends will fuck them brainless?” I wanted to say he should get a groupie, but in the last moment I reconsidered, that wasn’t the wisest thing to blurt out.

„Use your hand.” Or take Lexy with you. The same one, who had been avoiding Brian for the rest of the evening. Sure she did those significant stare things, where she ate Bri up when she thought I wasn’t looking, but other than that she kept away. Had he told something to her?

„You’re really not even considering this...” He took a drag, before gluing his browns on me.

„Sorry, but I promise, I’ll make it up to you,” I took his hand in mine right after he switched holding the cigarette to his left hand.

„Oh yes you will...” He took a small drag, a mischievous grin forming on his face, „Starting tonight.”

It seemed like he had got to the terms of it and for the next three hours we decided to socialize a bit. Socializing meant for Brian to pour a great amount of liquor straight over his liver as for me- trying to understand what those drunk people were trying to tell me. Everyone was drunk, even my mother had reddish cheeks, while she and mis Addams (Jenna’s mom, who had remarried, gaining the interesting surname) were sipping on the champagne. I knew for fact it was not their first bottle, although my mom tried convincing me very badly.

„This is the most tasty champagne I have ever drank in my life. What is it?” She exclaimed looking over her cold glass, before shoving it straight in my face. „Honey, taste it. It’s wonderful!”

„Mom, I really don’t wa-„ And there she goes, she poured the remaining of the liquid straight in my throat, not leaving very much for the taste. To me? It tasted just like, what Jenna would call it, a bunch of rotten and fucking overpriced berries. I grimaced soon after.

„You don’t like it?” She looked disappointed. Maybe I would in fact like it after the same dosage of alcohol I’d taken up as she had. After three bottles of champagne, even vodka tastes like heaven in a glass. „Why of course, you’re daddy’s girl after all... You prefer those strong drinks that gets you upside down in a jiffy... don’t you?” In a jiffy? Since when did my mother use such words? I cursed my dad for going missing somewhere with Roy, leaving me entertaining mom and well, whoever had the courage to sit down and bear with her drunk nature.

„Where did your boyfriend go?” Jenna’s mom asked curiously, downing the rest of the champagne like it was nothing.

„Yeah, honey, where is Brian?”

„He went to help Matt with something.” I looked away, avoiding to look them in the eyes when I was lying straight to their faces. If you could call downing shots as helping the husband, sure. At least they had the brain to go up to Matt’s and Jenna’s room to get shitfaced, not to embarrass themselves here, in front of the elderly people with a high percentage of getting a heart attack.

„I remember when Mike was just like them... Not a single day was boring with him.”

„Oh yes. Christian was the same, we had a lot of fun in our days” I zoomed out when my mom started telling how she and dad made a scrap book from beer bottle corks, really seemed like they had partied hard back then.

„What did I miss?” Brian slipped in the seat beside me, before he pressed a kiss on my cheek. Oh god. I didn’t know what or how much were they drinking, but he surely reeked of booze.

„Just some stories about scrap books,” I leaned over to pick a glass of juice and bring it to my lips. I noticed him returning alone. What had happened to the newly weds? Or the whole gang? „Where’s Matt and his wife?”

He looked at me funny. „It’s already over midnight. Where do you think they are?” Point taken. His hand lied on my thigh as he took a glass of his own.

„I’m tired, what do you say we ditch this place?” A grin found it’s way on his lips.

„My thoughts exactly.”

„Hey mom?” I interrupted her and mis Addams talk, I didn’t really know what were they talking about right now, but I felt I needed to tell her I was going to disappear.

„What is it, honey?”

„Just wanted to tell you, we’re going to lay low. See you tomorrow.”

„Oh okay. Meet you in the morning.” And with that, she returned to their life observations, recipe exchanges and whatever mom’s talked about. It even felt she was kind of relieved for me disappearing from her sight.

Brian helped me up and guided towards the house. A couple of people had already hit for their rooms, either not willing to get drunk, or not being able to do so. The view was slightly different from what we saw through the day. The staff members weren’t slacking around anymore, most of them were already home and way past dreaming their seventh dream, as for the inside of the house? Nothing much had changed, except for the lighting in the hallway. It was slightly dimmer, highlighting the expensive furniture even more. A couple of nightstands and plants were scattered around the dark corridor we were pacing, a few paintings caught my eyes, but nothing out of the ordinary.

We stopped in the front of a dark wooden door and Brian slid his hand into the pocket of his pants, to slip out a key.

„You know what I realized today?”

„No. What?” He opened the door for me.

„I have never met a girl like you in my entire life.”

„I’ll take it as a compliment.” I sighed, sitting down on the edge of the bed and undoing the straps of my heels. Before I realized it, he was on his knees in front of me and massaging my feet.

„It was a compliment.”

„Sorry... I’m just not used to a guy like you handing out genuinely kind words.”

„A guy like me?”

„Yeah. A person stupid enough to stick with a bartender, when he could be screwing at least a dozen supermodels.”

„A supermodel wouldn’t dare to hit me with a wooden spoon.” He smiled mischievously, before tipping his face up to my and kissing me. He laid me down right after he had freed me from my dress. Bri acted differently this time. It seemed like he was willing to study every inch of my body, before letting his beastly urges to take over.

„ I didn’t really hit you. I just...”

„Gently tapped my head?” He laughed at his own words, bringing a smile out on me. How had it happened? I was making something for dinner the other day, when he barged in and told he was going out with the guys. Obviously I kind of got mad, cause I was not the type of gal’ to rot all day long in front of the stove when the guy whom I was making the food for decided to eat out, so I called him over just to whack him with a wooden spoon. He can’t get over it, the poor thing.

His lips trailed down my neck, making me close my eyes and brush my fingers into his smoothly done hair. A grunt escaped his lips along with the banging noises from our neighbors next door. It felt like the wall that was separating us, really didn’t separate us at all and wouldn’t hold for long. Brian raised his head.

„Oh fuck yes, baby keep doing it... Yeah, right there...” I guess the open window let the sound travel straight into our room without any questions asked.

„Like that?” A deep voice asked. I boosted myself on elbows to look in Brian’s face, before we both burst out laughing.

„Exactly...” I just imagined if the guests outside did indeed hear the whole thing just as good as we heard it. I supposed the bed in their room were just beside the separating wall, because something was banging against it in a very annoying manner. „Yeah, baby... Deeper...”

Brian rolled off me to get on his back, lying beside me. To be completely honest, it seemed like they were casting for porn in there. Those sounds couldn’t be natural. At some point it made me and Brian to have a smoke. We were standing beside the window and taking in nicotine drag after drag.

„How long has it been?” I asked suddenly very curious.

„Beats me.” He shrugged, blowing out a grayish stream, „An hour at least.”

„Fuck yeah, take my leg...” The feminine voice moaned out and we both looked at one and other with great frowns as we kept listening, „Now pull me up...” Judging by Brian’s face, it was as much of a hard time imagining the whole view, as it was for me. I think we were too distracted by the couple next door that we forgot about me being half naked, about Brian wanting to do something nasty to me, we just stood there and listened. Guess who were behind the wall. That’s right. Jenna and Matt.

„Oh come on, how can you fuck someone for as long?” Brian got real skeptical. What’s wrong gramps, getting weak? I arched my eyebrow. He noticed my face and instantly knew what I was thinking. „It’s not possible. Believe me.”

„I believe you.” I chuckled.

„It’s scientifically proven!” He screamed out, taking the last drags, before putting out the cigarette butt against the side of our improvised ash tray, which resembled more of a candlestick than an ashtray, to be completely honest.

„Of course.” I agreed. I really had no idea what articles on this subject had he studied, but I had the thought he hadn’t studied anything. Absolutely nothing, but it was completely understandable that he was defending the majority of males, his ego was hurting after all.

„It is!” Right after Brian had made his point, Jenna screamed out in a voice that was hardly called human. Either the aliens just abducted her, or...

„Okay, that’s not natural...” I listened closer to the sounds and suddenly I didn’t feel like eavesdropping on their bed life. I didn’t want to hear anything that includes the Sanders family having sex. Once my eyes landed on Brian’s face, he was having this know-it-all grimace on his face saying – And what did I tell you?

„We should take revenge...” He had a playful smirk on his face.

„You know we won’t top that...”

„I’m not talking about that. I have something far more better in mind... You’ll like it.”

„Will they like it?”

„Absolutely not.”