The Black Swan

“I can’t believe it…” We were walking down the beach boulevard as I took a mouthful of the wonderful coffee Brian had delivered me. It was unbelievable in just a few days this setting would be changed for a completely different one. But I wasn’t talking about the trip to Miami I couldn’t believe in. That was quite… believable, comparing to the other fact.

“What?” He turned his head slightly to see my features.

“I can’t believe you got Jenna to take my shift,” in order to get a walk with me. But the other part I decided to burke.

“She owes me,” he shrugged his shoulders, making it all seem so careless. Maybe he indeed could care less, I didn’t know that much of him, other than the fact that he was god damn persistent and I suppose he had some interest in me; otherwise he wouldn’t be strolling down the street with me, right? Right?

“So what are your hobbies?” A jogger passed us by.

“You’re seriously not asking me about my hobbies…” I smiled.

“Why not? I want to know you.” There was this smirk on his face. He wanted to know me? Out of all the girls on this planet, he wanted to know me? Didn’t that seem kind of odd?

“There’s not much to know.” I downed the last mouthful of coffee and threw the cup in the bluish thrash-bin we passed by. “I’m Ally, nice to meet you.” I let a small chuckle out.

“Keep going,” He shoved his hands in the pockets of his jacket. This was just so surreal, I was not the girl to go anywhere with a guy. I’ve been forever alone for so long it really started to feel forever. I was simply not the girlfriend material. I was boring, my life was boring and I think there was a tattoo on my forehead that even screamed boring.

“I work as a bartender, but I suppose you already knew that.”

“You’re right, I knew. Tell me something else.” I was not very keen on talking about myself. It was rather hard for me, to be honest. Always had, maybe that was why I found it very difficult to establish relationships. It was kind of hard to believe I hadn’t been in a real relationship throughout my whole life. 24 years being single, it was kind of sad to think about it.

“I have a cat.” My only real relationship was with Buttercup, he never ditched me, always stayed by my side, because you know what? I was the goddamn hand that fed him.

“You have a cat…” He pulled a pack of Marlboro cigarettes out of his pocket. I had completely forgotten this specimen smoked. Hey, look at that! He had tattoos of Marlboro letters on his fingers. Why hadn’t I noticed that before? I had more contact with his fingers than his face after all. “Is it a he or a she?”

“It’s a he. A Siamese furball of pure love.” I was quite positive he saw the mad furball last night, but I guess he was drunk after all, or… has someone really stolen that devil from me? He doesn’t know how to be quiet, taking for example the ripped magazine on the floor, but I guess I have grown to ignore the madness he builds around himself.

“Does he have a name?” Brian lit the cigarette.

“Buttercup.” I said simply. Why was he called Buttercup? Because I grew up watching Cartoon Network.

“Like the cartoon?” he laughed, dragging in the smoke. So he knew. “Wasn’t Buttercup a girl?”

“She was a tomboy.” Period. I didn’t want to explain him how I really thought he was a she. For a really long time. A year at least, that’s why I named him Buttercup. It was quite embarrassing. “Thanks for the coffee, by the way…” I raised the cupboard slightly.

“Don’t mention it.” His fingers kicked the rest of the smoke over some fence. Littering, huh? Tisk-tisk-tisk, greenpeace would be so proud. And why was he being so nice to me? Too nice, in fact. We weren’t to be called friends, I knew very little about him. We hadn’t even been good acquaintances in the past, so what was this all about? I hadn’t changed much over the time he knew me. I was the same ol’ Ally Morgan.

“So how’s your band doing? Was it Avenged Sevenfold?” A senior citizen passed us by with a sincere smile on his lips. Why was everyone so happy today? Were they high? And then I heard the deep laugh of Brian’s.

“They’re doing fine… Just fine.” I looked up to meet his eyes. They were glittering, it seemed like he didn’t know the end to his pursuit of happiness. We stopped. “What?” He frowned, but the smile never left his face.

“You’re making fun of me…” Yesterday, when he told me about his band, he was quite shocked I didn’t know who they were nor what they ate in winter. I suppose they were quite popular, but frankly, I didn’t have time for music. The only music I heard were the one’s my waiters wanted to listen to at 25 degrees.So I didn’t know who he was nor his band, at least I knew who Oscar Wilde was and that was what mattered.

“I am not.” He chuckled looking over my facial features.

“Yes, you are.” I looked away. At some palm tree. Oh look, we were just a block from my apartment. I hadn’t even noticed how we took the turn towards my home. At first we were just strolling around the place, now we’re walking down the Atlanta Avenue.

“I’m certainly not.” I noticed some reddish blooms in the bush right next to us. How odd, I’ve always taken this road to work, but never once did I notice how beautiful this tree tingy looks. It was a shame I didn’t know a single thing about gardening. I knew what roses looked like and it was about it.

“Listen, just because I don’t know your band, doesn’t,-“

“And that’s because I like to hang around you.” I beg your pardon? I looked back at him. Brian’s face suddenly seemed so intent. He wasn’t smiling anymore. He was way too serious. I didn’t like him this way. I liked him when he smiled a lot and laughed. His laugh was something to die for. “Ally you’re one of the coolest people I know, and the fact that you don’t know shit about me, just… thrills me.”

“That’s, nonsense, Brian.” That sounded like a completely insane speech of a mental person. First- I’m everything, but not cool, yeah, sure, I’m messy, sometimes over the top, but most of the time just shy and second- how could he even… That’s outrageous!

“Maybe you think I’m insane, but it makes me happy, when I can tell you something about myself that you don’t already know.”

“Doesn’t that sound a little egoistic?”

“Maybe. Okay, yeah.” Finally he smiled, for a second there I thought we were about to start arguing. It frightened me. I couldn’t imagine what he was like when he was angry. I was afraid of him when he was upset, so what in hell would I feel like when I saw him angry? Terrified? About to pee my pants? “But you have no idea what it feels like when someone comes up to you and retells you your whole life story. Creeps the shit out of me.”

“Why would anyone do such a thing?” We started to walk in a slow pace. Let’s see where he leads me. Is he really escorting me home? Does he have such good memory of the place?

“They’re called crazy fans, Ally.” He sighed, shoving his palms in his pockets. “I don’t judge them, I’m very grateful for every one of them, but sometimes the stuff they do just goes way over the top.”

“Like what?”

“Once there was this crazy girl. She came to every show we had,” We took the turn right. I smiled. He was looking somewhere in the deep. “She was so obsessed with us, she even found out in what hotel we were staying, somehow infiltrated with the staff and played the role of maid.” What? Things like that really happened somewhere that wasn’t a movie about a schizophrenic? He had to be joking. That was absurd and funny as heck in the same time. I burst into laughter.

“What?”

“I’m not even joking,” He raised his eyebrows and exhaled with a silly face. It seemed like he himself couldn’t believe the stuff he was telling me. “Imagine my surprise when the maid stops cleaning, turns around and asks me to sign her tits, while I’m having a major hangover.”

“Did you?” I folded my arms, feeling a slight breeze rushing against my skin. We were a few hundred feet away from my front door. Suddenly I didn’t want to say goodbye to him.

“I was too dumbfounded to react properly. Her breasts were in my face and I had a headache.” I had one guess. He slept with her, after all, if I was a man and a girl would be so keen on me, I would take her then and there. I wouldn’t let the chance slip away so easily. “I did something I was not proud of…” Continue, she turned you on? “I screamed at her and threw her out of my room.”

I stood there dead silent, with a major w-t-f, written all over my face.

“What?” He showed me his pearly whites, “Oh my god, Ally, you really thought I slept with the poor thing?”

“Well… yeah. I would’ve.” I scratched my neck, feeling the uncomfortable feeling of awkwardness creeping up on me.

“You’re joking.” We stopped next to the fence of my apartment building. It was made of white small decorative bricks. We weren’t such big homies. I remembered coming one night from shift with Jenna, drunk of my ass and falling against the darn thing, which led to another darn thing- hospital. So you can see our misunderstandings. Finally Brian looked around. “Would you look at that, I’ve escorted you home rather safely.”

“So you have,” Why did you do that Brian, I really do not know. He took a look around as if this was the first time he’s been actually here. That was quite right, this was the first time when he was here and he was sober. His gaze locked on me.

“I think I deserve at least a hug for that.” And here we go again.

“You know, you’re fucking persistent.” I took a step closer. An odd warmth took over me when I raised my arms to snake them around his neck. I pressed my check against his neck, inhaling the intoxicating odor. It was really something. Now I realized why those girls dressed like maids and followed him all around the country. Brian put his arms around my waist.

“Ah-oh, you found out my secret. Now I have to kill you,” I felt his warm breath on my ear as he whispered.

“Will you?” I gazed into his browns. Brian shot me a seductive grin.

“I haven’t decided yet.” But he had decided on something else. His lips soon crashed against mine. I didn’t see that coming. I think I even jumped a little, but he just strengthened his grip around me. I felt his stubble against my skin and to be honest, the feeling was the best of them all. I felt like I was high, drunk on Jagermeister and… in love. But that was absurd. All three of those things. He let go of me. Brian Haner was grinning like the devil himself. I was left speechless. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Ally,” He winked as he passed me by.

“I’ll be in Miami!” I shouted after him.

He stopped hot on his tracks and turned around to say matter of factly. “I know.”