The Black Swan

„What do you mean all operators are busy at the moment?” I yelled at my phone. This was already the third time I tried to reach a taxi company and everyone of them ignored me. It seemed like I was doomed for tonight. „Stupid piece of shit!”

Okay, Ally, we can do this. I looked around to see where exactly was I. Throughout this scavenger hunt of some lousy good for nothing cab, I had walked a good distance from Vagabond. Some buildings with flashing lights were raising upon me. To be completely honest, I had not even a slightest clue of where exactly was I. Yes, sure, I was born and raised here, but it didn’t mean I knew every corner of this city.

I tried looking for Vagabond, I couldn’t be that far away from it, that was a big building after all, but I saw nothing. It was like my brain had switched off for a good amount of time and I had just walked straight, but if I was walking straight, then I could’ve just turned around and went back, right? Too bad I never walked straight.

Some apartment buildings were in front of me. Oh, I think I remembered this place, I used to rent an apartment just down the street. It wasn’t worthy of even be called an apartment, it had one room which served the purpose of living room, bedroom and kitchen and a very small bathroom. But it worked for me at the time. Even if it was in a dreadful state, I made it cozy enough. You have no idea what some curtains and a carpet can do.

It was extremely hot tonight. It was not the regular hotness of Miami, the air felt very thick. Well I’ll be damned if I get home in one piece and not drenched. It seemed like I was running out of luck. In a great speed if I may add. Why couldn’t I just wait for Jenna or Roy to go home? Why did I have to run out of them like that? Oh, because I fucked up and I hated to admit it? Or was it because my brother told me my mother considered me gay? Either one of the reasons were just peachy.

„Ally? Is that you?” Who the hell was calling my name? I was a little too goddamn scared to even turn my head. I kept on walking further as I heard this someone was starting to run. „Al, wait up!” Please, please, please, just be a drug dealer, who happens to know my name, please don’t be some pedophile who thinks I’m twelve. But wait, this pedophile knows my name. „Hey!” Dimples jumped in front of me. How relieved was I to see his face.

„For the love of satan and his army, don’t do that!” My heart was racing and there was no way to hide how petrified I truly was.

„I’m sorry... I just saw you here all alone and I got worried... This is no Huntington for sure.”

„Not to worry, I know the surroundings.” Nope, I did not, in fact know the surroundings. I guess Roy was right about me being a confirmed liar.

„Roy told me you called a cab,”

„Yeah, I tried.” My heart got to it’s normal pace and we carried on on walking... straight. „Those sons of bitches don’t even have the gut to pick up and hear what kind of sons of bitches they truly are.”

„Wow, easy there. I thought you were the polite girl and didn’t curse. I thought Jenna was the foul-mouth.” He cracked a smile.

„Sorry...” I exhaled deeply, „It’s just... I’m very pissed, that’s all.”

„About what?”

„About... everything, I suppose.” My fingers ran through my hair. „This was supposed to be my vocation, but it feels nothing like it.”

„How come?”

„Well for instance... Jenna is also here and Mark, the guy who owns the place I work at, is left completely alone. He doesn’t know shit about the bar.”

„Oh sorry... That’s my bad. I just can’t say no to her.” He answered. Yeah, you’re not the only one chump, neither can any other male specimen.

„Speaking of her, where is she? Why isn’t she with you?” I got curious. Back in Huntington Beach they were like a thing. Most of her free time she spent with this guy right here, if I remembered correctly, he was called Matt. They weren’t official or anything, but oh-boy, she couldn’t shut up about him. She was starting to fall for him, and we all knew, Jenna did not fall for anyone.

„She got some business back at the club and I need my beauty sleep. I’ll meet her later.” Matt shrugged his shoulders. „So that’s the only thing you’re pissed about?”

„No...” I smiled, even tho I didn’t feel like smiling. „Of course not. I’m glad that she’s here, although sometimes, she can be a huge pain in the ass.”

„So...” This was very odd, talking to a friend of Brian’s and not feeling any hate towards him. I mean, he was famous after all, so maybe it wasn’t fame I was despising so much? Maybe it was something else? What else could it be?

„So. I don’t know really, I just have a really bad past with Roy’s club. I mean I used to work there-„

„You used to work... at Vagabond?” Matt’s eyebrows puckered together. He seemed surprised and shocked at the same time.

„Yeah, I was a waitress. A shitty salary and a shitty job, but hey, it kept my boat flowing.” Of course I didn’t tell the whole truth, because, I was one heck of a pathological liar. Although this was not considered as lying, but in that case, neither was Brian’s concealment of his identity.

„You were a waitress at your own brother’s nightclub?” This is why I avoided telling people that Roy, the one who owned the club, was my brother. I was tired of these questions. „Why?”

„I needed money and nobody gave me the opportunity because I had none experience. And why waitress? Because I couldn’t handle anything more at the time. I had just turned eighteen. You think you finish school and you know how to mix Tequila sunrise? You’re lucky you can add two and two together to get four after those trigonometry lessons.”

„Why didn’t you just go to college? Most of kids do it nowadays.”

„What’s the point?” I replied, „I don’t see any potential in myself. What would I’ve done with a some kind of degree? Wiped my ass with that diploma?”

„You have a very low self-esteem, kiddo.” What did he just call me? Oh and there goes the first raindrop. Super.

„Kiddo? You just called me ‘kiddo’, gramps?” How much older could he be? A couple of years, six was tops.

„You’re little.” Matt shrugged shoulders.

„That doesn’t mean I’m little up here,” I touched my temple. Why did it always mean if you were young or looked young, you were dumb? It was very rarely that people took me serious and listened, truly listened, not just heard, what I had to say to them.

„I didn’t say that. Boy, you’re truly on the edge. Miami air does no good to you.”

„I know...” I let the thick air flow in to my lungs. It started raining. Oh boy, how I loved the smell after rain. It smelled like apocalypse, not that I know how’d apocalypse smell. „Wait... Where are you even going and why didn’t you take the cab?”

„I’m guiding you safely home and why am I doing that? Cause those bastards ignore me and I suppose Jenna would smack every living sense out of me if something happened to you and I was somewhere near.”

„Oh... So you have nothing to do with Roy...”

„What do you mean?”

„He didn’t set you up for this?” Paranoia is not a good friend, Ally.

„I already told you, he thought you took the cab. Besides, why would he set me up for this?”

„Oh, I don’t know. To hit some sanity in me... perhaps.”

„Are you drunk, Al?” He stopped in front of me and kept me from moving, while his hazel eyes pierced in mine. „You don’t seem drunk. Have you smoked something tonight?”

„If by something you mean crack... then no. I’m sober. On everything.” He still looked like he didn’t believe me. I was in fact acting like a crazy person, I guess he was right, Miami air did no good to me. „I guess I’m just freaked out about your show tomorrow. I don’t like the crowd too much. I always think, I’ll fall down and die.”

„You’re going to come?” Right now he looked very surprised. And then surprise faded and he looked happy. „Brian told me you won’t.”

„Brian?” This was my time to look surprised. „I didn’t even talk to him about it.” Didn’t he mean Roy? He was the only person, besides my alcohol loving buddy, Jenna, who talked to me about the show. How could Brian even know any of my plans? Oh, he was a stalker, of course.

„You didn’t?” Happiness turned to confusion in just a mere second.

„Nope.”

„Interesting.”

„By the way, where did he go?” Why did it even interest me? It wasn’t like I even liked the guy. Maybe I did, only I couldn’t tell feelings apart.

„I really don’t know. I suppose to the hotel. Last time I saw him speaking to some blond chick next to the bar.” Blond chick? Oh my god. Okay, Ally, relax, there were plenty of blond girls back in the club, she wasn’t the only one. I would be too fucking unlucky if what I was thinking was truly true. „Why? Didn’t he say goodbye to you?”

„Why would he?”

„I thought there was something going on between the two of you. Whole band thought that way.” The rain was getting stronger and we both stopped under some kind of roof. We were standing on the patio. I hoped nobody minded. I raised an eyebrow looking Matt straight in the eye. „He was just... He came very happy to rehearsals after he had met you.” Roy definitely set him up for this. I cracked a smile. I didn’t believe a single word he was saying. Although it didn’t seem like he was lying. He better not be.

„He had met me just for a couple of times.”

„I guess those times really counted then. He’s not an asshole anymore. Well, not that big of an asshole at least.” We both laughed. I liked him, I really liked this guy. I hoped Jenna will marry him, and yes, yes, we all know, Jenna is against marriage, but we’ll see.

„If you say so.”

„Listen, I’ll try calling the cab once more, maybe we’ll get lucky this time.” After a couple of beeps someone finally picked up. I was biting on my thumb nervously all the time the phone was next to his ear. I didn’t like the weather and the thought of me walking through the city, searching for the place my folks lived, drenched as shit, did not amuse me at all. „Hello, I’ll need a taxi to...” He moved the phone away, „Ally, can you see the address anywhere?”

„I don’t see the address, but we’re close to the sport complex on the Beach Boulevard. They’ll know where...” Matt repeated what I had just said and the only thing was left to do, was waiting.

„That’s done.”

„Thank you.” Couple of minutes went past with me rethinking everything Matt had said, and he didn’t even interrupt the flow of my thoughts. He’d said Brian was going happy to rehearsals after he met me. Why? He didn’t even know me that well. How could’ve he liked something he didn’t even know?

„Ally?”

„Yeah?”

„The cab just called, it’s waiting at the complex. Will you manage to get there by yourself?”

„What about you?”

„My hotel is a block away.” What? And the whole time he was standing with me, in the rain, when he could’ve been in his warm bed with Jenna? I really thought I needed to thank him enormously, but that big of an ‘thanks’ was not said in words. He chuckled seeing my widely opened mouth. „See you tomorrow, Al. I hope to get an invitation to your wedding.”

„What wedding?”

„With you and Brian.” He replied simply. Why was he so sure?

„Just after you and Jenna, gramps.”