Status: This is literaly my heart and soul.I don't know how often I'm going to update and how long my updates'll be.
The Truth About Me
Growing up
Growing up with three sisters and two brothers wasn't easy,but I would never change it one bit.Sibblings are something you can equaly hate and love at the same time.Sometimes I want to rip out their throats and sometimes I want to hug them to death.It's something I can't acctualy explain,but it's easy to understand.
Whatever they do to me,I can't stop loving them.It's impossible.It's like trying to choose your favourite band member.
Impossible.
When I was about five years old,my mother had bought a new camera and every day was a photo session for her.I felt like a rock star mist of the times.She just couldn't stop capturing everything we did.I have a photo of me doing almost anything.
I have a lot of relatives and when you have as mush relatives as much as I do,that means you have a lot of wedding to attend.
For two years,every weekend I spent in some kind of reastaurant wearing cute pink dresses and fancy clothes.It was fun at first,but as I was growing up it started to bother me.I was sick of sitting still,shaking hands with old people,dancing with overjoyed brides...
When I was about 11 years old,I stopped appearing in family photos.I just hated everything about taking photos and being on them.I found myself very,very ugly and I just thought it's better not to be in a picture,than to be in a pictire ugly.
My sisters are really photogenic,just like my parents,and I still can't figure out how can I not have that gene like the rest of my family.
I don't know how can camera hate me so much!
The damn thing literaly hates me.It wants to murder me with its bare hands.
Yeah,a little bit dramatic but that's who I am.
The acctual drama queen.So yeah,I like to overreact about things.For an example,when someone insults me I like to make a scene,I like to make the person suffer and regret for the thing the person has done.
I have three rules that I try to follow every day:
1. The only thing I have to do is die.
2. I do whatever I want.
3. I am the only one I can truly trust.
And those three rules are the key for a healthy mind.Trust me,never do something you don't like.I'd rather die than listen to things that I find wrong.No one had the right to tell you what to do,no one.
As you can se,I have trust issues.More than a couple of times people tried to trick me into fake friendships and relationships,and I let them.That was a big mistake.Letting people hurt you is always a mistake.
Even if you love the person with your whole heart,don't let it hurt you.Rather die.Human's heart is not meant to be broken and wounded.It's meant to beat and to pump blood through your veins,nothing else.
I'd like to write about my sister for a bit.She's two years older than me and we are really close.I can tell her everything,and she wont judge me if I don't judge her.But,not everything's perfect and so is my sister.
She would like for me to be her copy.She thinks I should follow her every step and try be more like her.I tell you,we are like black and white,completly different.I can never be like her,and I don't want to.People always copmpare me with her and that bothers me a lot.
She's very pretty and smart and she has an amazing body,everything I don't.That is not a problem to me,I'm not jealous or anything,but when people ask me why am I so ugly when she's drop dead grogeous...I just don't know what to say.A lot of times people asked me that,and I never said anything.I just curled up in my bed and felt disgusting,ashamed to get out of the house.
That's why she stopped telling people we're related.If they don't know I'm her little sister,then they don't ask stupid questions.And then my heart stays in one piece.
It's sad,but it's the only alternative we have.
My point is,I'm a very fucked up person and that's what matters.We're all originals,designed to be different.And the fact we all have something special about ourselves is the real beauty about being a human.
Whatever they do to me,I can't stop loving them.It's impossible.It's like trying to choose your favourite band member.
Impossible.
When I was about five years old,my mother had bought a new camera and every day was a photo session for her.I felt like a rock star mist of the times.She just couldn't stop capturing everything we did.I have a photo of me doing almost anything.
I have a lot of relatives and when you have as mush relatives as much as I do,that means you have a lot of wedding to attend.
For two years,every weekend I spent in some kind of reastaurant wearing cute pink dresses and fancy clothes.It was fun at first,but as I was growing up it started to bother me.I was sick of sitting still,shaking hands with old people,dancing with overjoyed brides...
When I was about 11 years old,I stopped appearing in family photos.I just hated everything about taking photos and being on them.I found myself very,very ugly and I just thought it's better not to be in a picture,than to be in a pictire ugly.
My sisters are really photogenic,just like my parents,and I still can't figure out how can I not have that gene like the rest of my family.
I don't know how can camera hate me so much!
The damn thing literaly hates me.It wants to murder me with its bare hands.
Yeah,a little bit dramatic but that's who I am.
The acctual drama queen.So yeah,I like to overreact about things.For an example,when someone insults me I like to make a scene,I like to make the person suffer and regret for the thing the person has done.
I have three rules that I try to follow every day:
1. The only thing I have to do is die.
2. I do whatever I want.
3. I am the only one I can truly trust.
And those three rules are the key for a healthy mind.Trust me,never do something you don't like.I'd rather die than listen to things that I find wrong.No one had the right to tell you what to do,no one.
As you can se,I have trust issues.More than a couple of times people tried to trick me into fake friendships and relationships,and I let them.That was a big mistake.Letting people hurt you is always a mistake.
Even if you love the person with your whole heart,don't let it hurt you.Rather die.Human's heart is not meant to be broken and wounded.It's meant to beat and to pump blood through your veins,nothing else.
I'd like to write about my sister for a bit.She's two years older than me and we are really close.I can tell her everything,and she wont judge me if I don't judge her.But,not everything's perfect and so is my sister.
She would like for me to be her copy.She thinks I should follow her every step and try be more like her.I tell you,we are like black and white,completly different.I can never be like her,and I don't want to.People always copmpare me with her and that bothers me a lot.
She's very pretty and smart and she has an amazing body,everything I don't.That is not a problem to me,I'm not jealous or anything,but when people ask me why am I so ugly when she's drop dead grogeous...I just don't know what to say.A lot of times people asked me that,and I never said anything.I just curled up in my bed and felt disgusting,ashamed to get out of the house.
That's why she stopped telling people we're related.If they don't know I'm her little sister,then they don't ask stupid questions.And then my heart stays in one piece.
It's sad,but it's the only alternative we have.
My point is,I'm a very fucked up person and that's what matters.We're all originals,designed to be different.And the fact we all have something special about ourselves is the real beauty about being a human.