I Was Only Dreaming

So here's how stuff went after all that: Mike moved back into the garage, but just about a month later, Jessie and I moved out. We rented a two-bedroom, one-bath apartment about three blocks from my mom's house, and five blocks from Tre's. I knew that the only reason Jessie had for staying with me is because of the baby. I knew that she'd probably never love me, because of what I did. And I deserve to be hated by her and Mike. I was the fucker that got my best friend's girlfriend knocked up.

But Jessie didn't act like she hated me at all. In fact, we were very civil. "Good morning", "Good night", "How are you feeling? ","Sausage or Bacon?", yknow, stuff like that. Jessie went to school, while I wither played with the band or worked at Jake's Bed and Breakfast. My relationship with Mike was still on the verge of teetering off a cliff, but we made it work. We didn't act like we hated each other, but we weren't best friends again. I wonder if we ever will be again.

So, the story I told Mom and others who asked, was that Mike couldn't take care of a baby and was scared, so he broke of with Jessie. I, being the gentleman that I am, took Jessie in to care for her and the baby, not wanting to leave a poor, defenseless woman in the street. Everyone looked at Mike as a coward, dickhead, someone who doesn't deserve to live. Now, I bet if people knew that the baby was mine in the first place, Jessie would be a whore, I would be a man-whore, and Mike would be the poor Guy who didn't know shit about all this. But instead, I am Superman and he's the dirty, rotten bastard.

Jessie was due in exactly 29 days, and we had all the baby stuff we'd need in the corner of Jessie's room. I had to drag a huge box with a crib inside of it up two flights of stairs a couple of weeks ago, and I really hoped we wouldn't be moving anytime soon.

*Jessie's POV*

Tre and I sat in the cafeteria at school, even though he dropped out, eating our lunch.

"I forgot how shitty this stiff tastes," Tre said, picking at his meatloaf.

"Yeah, well, when it's the only thing on the menu, I guess you gotta eat it." I reply. "So how's Mike? Billie won't talk about him at all, and I never see him at school."

"He still comes, but he's always hiding from you. He says he doesn't want to seevyou because he's ashamed of his cowardly-ness, but I think he's just scared of what could happen if you see him." Tre gulps down his milk carton.

"Oh. How is he, like, emotionally? " I ask, wary of the answer Tre might give me.

Tre pauses before answering. "He's...depressed. To say the least. Whenever he's home he stays in your room that he moved into and doesn't come out unless it is to leave the house. He's looking really thin, too.''

I hated hearing that. But I had the feeling that Mike wouldn't take me back any tine soon, if ever. Its Billie's responsibility to take care of our baby, no matter how much I love Mike. Or how much Mike loves me.

Tre and I eat until the bell rings and I go back to class. I stare at the back of Mike's head from across the room all through Music and Biology, thinking of ways I could undo what I've done. But there's no real way to do that. I am so happy that Billie is going to take care of the baby and me, and he seems very willing and ready to do so. I can tell he is excited to be a father, and deep down, I am ready to be a mother, and I look forward to raising a child. It's just... I won't be able to love Billie like a wife, or a girlfriend would. I still love Mike, and I doubt I will ever get over that love.

Billie knows this, too, and still he stays with me. He is the most amazing person in the world.

*

About two weeks before I was due, while Billie was at work, Tre knocked on the door to our apartment, grinning and holding a box of green hair dye. He had the knack for just showing up whenever, but this time, he called and asked me if I would dye his hair before coming over.

"Green again?" I asked Tre as he headed for the bathroom.

"Yeah, what's wrong with green?" Tre gave me that "But mom! look and I rolled my eyes. Tre had agreed to dye my hair purple if I redid his in green. I was no expert, but my mom was a hairdresser, so during the summer, I would go to work with her and watch her.

I set up a desk chair in front of the sink in the bathroom and had Tre wash his hair in it. As I started to bleach it, he giggled every time I touched his hair. well, until I "accidentally" got some bleach on his ear and it burned like hell. Then he bleached my hair. I warned Tre that if he got bleach on me, I would dye his face green. He actually thought I was serious.

After the bathroom counter was successfully stained purple and green (and don't ask about the stain on the ceiling), I took a nap in my room while Tre watched TV. I loved it how he just stays over while I sleep. It's very comforting.

About thirty minutes into my nap, the phone by my beside rings. Let the machine get it I thought. But the answering machine doesn't pick up. I shrug it off and go back to sleep. Five minuted later, the phone rings again. Frustrated, I sit my cow-body up and grab the phone. It's probably Billie trying to annoy me. "Hello?"

At first, I hear nothing. Then I hear the faint sound of a rushing river. What the fuck?! I think. Okay, this is weird. Probably one of those prank calls we get from time to time. Then I hear a voice. A sweet, melodic, and very familiar voice. "Hello, Jessica," The voice says. I place it right away. It's a voice I have heard all my life. Whether in person, or in my mind.

It's the voice of my mother.