Monsters Are Human

Zack sat with Rian, pushing the mashed potatoes on his plate around. It was like this all the time: push, try to feed Rian, turning away, crying, begging, and giving up. Rian was making tiny little noises as Zack stroked his hair.

“Will you eat just a little nibble for me? They taste really good.”
“No, you can’t make me…”
“If you eat, Ri, I think they’ll let you play boards games with us tonight.”

So the skinner boy opened his mouth and let Zack scoop in a spoonful of warm, buttery, salty potatoes. He closed his mouth. Rian fought like no other trying to swallow the food down but he accomplished it. Zack held him around the waist.
“Are you okay baby?”

Rian wanted to get up and run into the bathroom to get rid of what he viewed as poison entering his body. He imagined the spoonful hitting his empty belly with a loud echo akin to dropping a penny down a well. But Zack held him close. He glanced around for guards before planting a soft kiss to Rian’s neck, breathing heavily. He could see the tears rushing down Rian’s face.

“I’m so proud of you. I…I always will be.”

Zack moved over a bit when he saw a nun stalking toward them. He aimlessly moved his roast beef around on his plate. She stopped by their table, looking at them with suspicion in her eyes. Rian’s heart was beating in his chest. He looked down at his plate, pushing his own food around now too.

“Can I help you two boys with something?”

“No,” they said in unison.

“Well just remember, you are children of God. God is our omnipotent power. He sees all, knows all, and will punish all sin. Especially that most foul. Now eat, Mister Dawson, before you wither away to nothing. Mister Merrick, I will assume you are keeping your sin ridden hands to yourself.”

Zack glanced at Rian after she walked away. Rian reached under the table and gave Zack’s hand a squeeze. Zack couldn’t help but smile. Somehow, in those little touches behind turned backs, he fell more in love with the boy who was turning himself into dust.
~
Jack was sitting on his bed. He had a sketchbook open with an array of crayons sitting beside it. He drew magnificent scenery on the white paper. Big blue skies with green grassy hills and orange flowers; purple mountains with grey tops and a big yellow sun shining down. Jack took all the fuzzy brightness from his mind and spat it out onto the pages, biting his lip in concentration.

Alex was parallel to him on his own blankets. He was looking at the books he had brought with him. All sorts of characters and worlds were right there. He could go millions of places beyond the walls of Darlinghurst. Alex could travel to Narnia before breakfast and Oz right after his day of treatments. He caught Jack glancing over at him.

“Are you going to read?” He asked shyly, looking down at his page to color in a light blue cloud.

“Probably.”
“What story are you going to read, then?”
“I don’t know yet.”
“You can read Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll. I really like that one.”
“Oh! I’d love that. I always wanted to read that.”
“Can you read it to me?”
“Oh…r-read to you?”

“Yes. See, they said I’m not allowed to read books. But if you read a book to me…they can’t really be mad can they?”
“Well I suppose not.”

Alex got up and moved over to Jack’s bed. Jack smiled and pulled his copy of the fantasy book from under his pillow. Alex opened up to the page that Jack had dog-tailed and it made his stomach drop at his read. It was all too familiar to his reality:
‘ “But I don’t want to go among mad people," Alice remarked.
"Oh, you can’t help that," said the Cat: "we’re all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad."
"How do you know I’m mad?" said Alice.
"You must be," said the Cat, or you wouldn’t have come here.” ‘