Germany - Lukas

It hurt me more than my eyes let show. Looking back, staring into the eyes of him the first time we saw each other. I smiled simply because he already was, and I stared back, for reason he was already there, in that medium of two, woven tightly by brightly lit eyes. His eyes were blue, not strikingly oceanic, nor airy like a summer sky. His eyes were cold and icy, and they lit up with the snow whirring in front of them. That always made mine light up too.

It hurts me, and not even my tears give way to all my silent heartbreak and self-loathing. Oh how I long to hate you, to have a reason to move on. The only one, who stopped me from you, was me.

It hurts me, thinking back to just a few hours ago to have seen you in the birthing of night, your face awash in the glow of the fire, your tall frame inching closer and closer to the flickering heaven. When you won your award and stood tall, taller than the rest, upon that staircase we were encompassed into that medium once more, the one big enough for us both to live, but small enough to love alone. My calves burned as they turned against the fire, so I could look you in the eyes once more, a question burning hotter than the embers sat bouncing in my mouth.

You smiled, maybe because you won the award. Or maybe because I was smiling right back. It wasn’t a goodbye, but I wish it were.

It couldn’t have been a goodbye, simply because there was never even a hello.