Being Wrong

It wasn't until the bell rang for lunch and Charlie began to pack up his things that Travis spoke again. "Um."

Charlie paused what he was doing and glanced at Travis. "Hm?"

"Um," Travis repeated as tried to think of something to say. All he knew was that he didn't want to leave the room without Charlie at his side. "I'm supposed to play at lunch today for a while. You know, on the stage. You could come, if you want. If you feel like it."

"Okay. Now?"

Travis let out a breath. "Uh, I'm up second. I was going to eat first. You could eat with me, though, if you want."

There was a moment of hesitation and Travis was sure Charlie was about to say no, but then he simply nodded and resumed packing up his things.

Travis bit back the smile that threatened to take over his face, sure that if Charlie glanced up and saw his expression he would realise Travis' feelings and be disgusted, or afraid, or... something. Something not good.

Charlie looked as nervous as he always did as he followed Travis out of the classroom, head down and shoulders hunched, eyes darting towards any loud sounds or fast movements. Travis wanted nothing more than to see him relax, but he had no idea how to achieve that. He wasn't even sure it was a capability he possessed.

The place Travis ate lunch was a good spot, a cluster of benches on a tiled cement surface sheltered by the trees that grew in garden beds surrounding the area. It was somewhat out of the way of general foot traffic, but it was adjacent to the grassed area the stage sat on so they could watch whoever was performing through the trees that separated the two spaces. It was prime lunchtime real estate taken up by a group of people which tended to shift from one day to the next. Drama and music folk, mostly, often busy with their own projects during break, plus a few people who stuck around just because they enjoyed the entertainment.

New faces always drew attention, though, and Charlie was no exception. He shifted uncomfortably when he realised all eyes in the group Travis had led him to were on him.

"Charlie!" Eliza greeted enthusiastically, as though they were good friends. As far as Travis knew, she’d never actually spoken to him.

Charlie's eyes darted up to land on her, and Travis saw the confusion twist on his face. He glanced at Travis for help.

"I'm in your geography class," Eliza explained patiently, not at all hurt that Charlie didn't recognise her.

"Oh," Charlie said, and then, "Oh. You told me where my English class was."

Eliza beamed. "Yeah! Okay, let me introduce you to everyone. This is my sister, KC, and that's Brice, he's an artist, and his girlfriend Sonya." The three of them waved to Charlie and Charlie lifted a hesitant hand to wave back as Eliza continued pointing people out. "Leon and Nat, drama geeks, and Luke, his band's setting up on the stage right now. Luke, shouldn't you be over there?"

Luke shrugged and swallowed his mouthful of chicken wrap. "They'll wait for me."

"They didn't last time," Travis pointed out. "Vocals aren't strictly required."

Luke frowned in the direction of the stage before standing and shouldering his bag, heaving a sigh as he headed for his bandmates. KC shuffled closer to Eliza to make room on the bench next to her for Travis and Charlie. Travis claimed the spot next to her, guessing that Charlie would be more comfortable not being boxed in.

Eliza was listing the names of Luke's bandmates and Charlie was nodding along, but his eyes were wide and vacant and it was clear he was overwhelmed.

"It's okay if you forget everyone's names," Travis told Charlie when Eliza paused for breath.

Charlie relaxed minutely at that reassurance, just a slight loosening of his shoulder muscles. "I think I already have.”

"Do you remember my name?" Travis asked, and yeah, maybe he just wanted to hear the sound of it on Charlie's lips.

"Travis," Charlie said, barely more than a whisper. Travis had always thought his name rough and indelicate, but from Charlie's mouth it sounded soft.

Travis found himself compulsively wetting his lips. "Yeah. That's right."

For a moment Travis had forgotten everything but Charlie, but when he looked up there were eyes on him, knowing smiles from the others. Whether or not Charlie knew of his feelings Travis didn't know, but his friends knew him well enough to spot the signs. Travis busied himself with searching through his bag for his lunch so that he wouldn't have to look at them.

"Don't you have lunch?" Travis asked when he noticed Charlie was just sitting with his bag clutched on his lap, fiddling with the strap.

Charlie's head jerked up and for a second his pretty blue eyes met Travis' before they darted back down to his bag and he started unzipping it. "Oh. Yes."

As Luke's band started to play, Charlie paused with his lunchbox in his lap and peered curiously towards the trees. It was the first sign of any emotion but anxiety he'd shown since Travis had brought him out here. Music. That seemed to be the key with him. Hadn't that been what had lured him to Travis' doorstep in the first place? There was so much about Charlie that Travis didn't understand, but a love of music was something he could relate to.

"Do you want to go over there and watch?" Travis asked Charlie when after several minutes, Charlie still hadn't touched his lunch.

Charlie's eyes cut to Travis' for a second before wandering back in the direction of the stage. He shook his head. "Their music is louder than yours. It would be too loud over there."

Travis felt a silly thrill go through him at hearing that Charlie found his music in some way preferable. It wasn't even really a compliment as such, but just knowing his music had stuck in Charlie's mind made Travis feel suddenly overheated.

Travis heard a quiet snicker and looked up to see Eliza pressing the back of her hand against a knowing smile to hold in her laughter. He made sure Charlie wasn't looking before flipping her off.

Charlie didn't eat, just sat with his lunchbox in his lap and watched Luke's band play with rapt attention until Travis glanced at his watch and announced it was his turn. When he asked if Charlie wanted to come over and watch, Charlie nodded quickly and put away his lunchbox.

"You can hang back here for a minute if you don't want to go over there while they're still playing," Travis told him. "They'll keep going forever if I don't interrupt."

Charlie nodded again. He got up when Travis did, but instead of following he just moved off to the side, separating himself from Travis' friends while he waited. Travis gave him a smile before turned and heading towards the stage, Eliza at his side.

"You like him," Eliza said as soon as they were out of earshot, a broad smile stretching her lips.

"He's not retarded," Travis took the opportunity to tell her. "He's in my maths class and he has no problem with the work. He's just... I don't know. Different. Anxious."

"Is he gay?" Eliza asked. "Or bi, or whatever. Likely to return your interests."

"No," Travis said, his lips turning down into a frown. "I mean, not as far as I know. I didn't ask. Somehow he doesn't seem to have noticed I like him yet, and I'd rather not make it completely obvious."

"Shame. You two would be cute together."

Travis' frown morphed into a grin. "I know, right?"

Luke spotted him and gave him a nod as they drew closer to the stage, and as soon as the band finished the song they'd been playing they began to pack up. As they climbed off the stage Travis climbed onto it, and when he turned to look towards their lunch area he saw Charlie approaching.

Charlie had said Travis' music was better because it wasn't too loud, but the speakers which amplified his voice and the sound of his guitar weren't actually set at a consistent volume. Travis arranged the microphones how he liked them and then met Charlie's gaze in the small group of students that had gathered to watch.

"This okay?" Travis asked, then strummed his fingers down the strings of his guitar as he watched Charlie's face.

Charlie shrugged noncommittally in response to the question, but Travis had noticed his shoulders jerk tight with tension at the sound of the guitar. Too loud, but Charlie didn't feel comfortable complaining. Travis turned the volume on the speakers down slightly and then strummed the guitar again, not bothering to repeat the question. This time, Charlie didn't flinch.

There were almost two dozen people gathered in front of the stage, but every song was intended for Charlie. It was easy to tell from the set of his shoulders and any tension in his face what Charlie liked. Songs like Here Comes the Sun, nice and gentle, went over the best. At first Charlie's eyes seemed permanently glued to Travis' fingers as they moved over his guitar strings, but as Travis played more and more he found Charlie's eyes jumping up to meet his.

Travis' mistake was playing The Places You Have Come to Fear the Most. It seemed like a good idea, fairly gentle, worked well on an acoustic guitar because the original song didn't have much more, but as Travis sung he noticed the tension creep into Charlie's shoulders, saw his lips twist together.

"You can't fake it hard enough to please everyone, or anyone at all..." Travis sung, and Charlie's eyes dropped down to the ground, his hands clenching at his sides.

"The refuge that you've built to flee, the places that you've come to fear the most, is the place that you've come to fear the most," Travis finished, and as soon as he'd played the last note he set his guitar aside. He saw Charlie swallow around a lump in his throat, saw the stiffness in his body, and knew he'd hit somewhere too close to home. Just seeing Charlie like that made his own throat feel sore, and he decided he was done for the day.

Charlie looked like he wanted to bolt, but he waited until Travis climbed off the stage and was at his side before he began to push his way through the cluster of students. Travis didn't question him when he headed across the grass in the opposite direction to where Travis' friends sat.

"Sorry," Travis said once they were well away from everyone else. "I didn't mean to upset you."

Charlie glanced up and Travis was relieved to see he wasn't crying. Charlie gnawed at his lip as he turned to look back down at the ground as they walked. He slowed down when they reached the stairs leading up to one of the school buildings and glanced around, not seeming to know where he was going. After a moment of consideration he sat down on the stairs. Travis sat down next to him and set his guitar between them, a safety buffer.

"Did you stop because of me?" Charlie asked after a moment of silence.

"Yeah," Travis said. "I don't know, you seemed kind of upset?"

Charlie shrugged in the exaggerated way he tended to. "You didn't have to stop because of me. Sorry."

"I was mostly playing for you, so..." Travis said, and then flushed when he realised how much he'd just admitted. Most of what he'd been playing had been romance songs. He was being way too obvious. He had been the whole time he'd been playing, really, his eyes barely straying from Charlie's face.

The wrinkling of Charlie's forehead signalled his confusion. "Why?"

"Uh..." Travis considered being honest, but quickly decided against that idea. "Well, you seem to like music. It's nice to be appreciated."

"Isn't that why everyone else was there watching, though?" There was nothing accusative in Charlie's tone. He just genuinely didn't get it.

"Well, yeah, I guess, but I've been playing for them for a while now, and you're new, so..." Travis rubbed the back of his neck. This wasn't going as smoothly as he'd hoped. "Do you want to try playing?"

"I'm allowed?"

"Yeah, sure."

Travis took his guitar out of its case and carefully set it across Charlie's lap. Their fingers brushed as he showed Charlie where to put his hands, sending a jolt straight to Travis' gut. At Charlie's side, everything felt new and exciting. Music, romance. Goosebumps prickled up on Travis' arms as he watched Charlie's finger stroke along one of the strings, as he imagined it touching him. He forced himself to look away. Charlie would probably be disgusted if he knew what was on Travis' mind.

Charlie seemed more interested in carefully exploring the feeling of the strings and testing what sounds each made than actually learning to play, so Travis didn't push him. It was enough to watch his hands brush every surface with gentle reverence.

"Can I go over to your place tonight?" Charlie asked, his gaze not shifting from the guitar strings.

"I said you could before."

Charlie's lips twisted. "Well, you said if there were problems with my grandparents I could. But, I mean, if there aren't..."

"You don't need a reason. I mean, if you just feel like it, that's fine. More than fine. I live alone, so, you know... gets kind of lonely."

Charlie turned his head up to look at Travis, his eyes skimming his face before settling on his lips. "Why do you live alone?"

"Uhh..." Travis reflexively licked his lips and his eyes gravitated to Charlie's mouth. "Oh, uh, you know, family shit."

"I do know family shit," Charlie agreed as he turned his attention back to the guitar.

"Yeah, I... I kinda got that feeling. You want to talk about it? I mean, you hardly know me so it's fine if you want to tell me it's none of my business, but if you do want to, you know... I'm here."

Charlie gave a shrug that hunched his shoulders almost to his ears. "I used to live with my dad. But now… I don’t. It’s pretty complicated. I got used to living with him so it was easier, but it was never really… good. It was okay a lot of the time and very bad sometimes.”

Travis knew his voice didn't sound quite right when he asked, "He hurt you?"

"Sometimes."

Travis took a slow breath in and counted to ten in his head. Expressing the rage and distress that information stirred in him would only frighten Charlie. "My parents both had tempers. I'm better off with my brother, even if he's not around much. Better off on my own."

"I'd rather be on my own, if I could even begin to do all the things I'd need to do to take care of myself." Charlie gave the C string a twang. "I just want to be left alone."

"If you want to come over to my place and shut yourself in my bedroom, that's fine. I won't bother you."

"You don't really bother me anyway."

Travis bit down on his lip, but it was impossible to keep them from curving into a smile. Oh well. Charlie wasn't looking anyway. He almost swore when the lunch bell rang and Charlie started to hand his guitar back. "So, I'll see you tonight?"

Charlie nodded. "Probably."

Travis grinned. "Great."

Charlie's gaze traced the curve of Travis' lips, a furrow forming in his brow. He stood and grabbed his bag without another word and headed out across the grass.

#

Charlie had honestly assumed Travis was just being kind, treating him as a charity case, until he'd seen how genuinely happy Travis looked when he'd confirmed he would be going to his place that night. It didn't make a whole lot of sense. Charlie knew he was terrible company. Was Travis really that lonely?

Still, even if it probably wouldn't last, it had been kind of a relief. Nobody had really wanted Charlie around since his mum had still been alive, and even she had struggled to deal with him. He'd never just had a friend before.