Against God's Design

*James's POV*

"You're number, I want it" Racheal demanded when she saw me in English. Her voice was giving me a slight headache--mostly due to my head injury. I was in the ER for a few hours and I finally got to come to school.

Hospitals make me mad, sad, self conscience, and uncomfortable. Mad because the doctors are stupid sometimes. Sad because it's a hospital and people die there. Self conscience because they call me 'Jamie' and expect me to use the girls restroom. Then uncomfortable because of what the doctor yesterday.

"Why?" I snapped. I wasn't willing to give her my number, and why does she need it? She doesn't need it, does she?

Racheal rolls her eyes simply but she shows me this sympathetic look "For the project. I need to get to know you right?" She asked. Racheal made a good point. I guess...I guess it wouldn't hurt to give her my number.

I stared at her for a minute or two and then I sigh. I take my notebook and a pen. In those actions I wrote down my number quickly. I bit my lip as I handed to Racheal "Don't...ya know...give it to anyone else" I whisper.

Only Cole has my new number. I don't want anyone else in this school to have it. I sit back in my chair as I tap my pencil on my desk. I'm trying to relax but my head hurts and I can't stop thinking about yesterday. I really needed to talk to Cole about this. I need him to understand what I'm going to do.

Racheal sat down, tucked her bangs behind her ear, and looked hard at the number. I bet she was trying to figure out if it was a fake. I look to the board and the teacher is saying something about getting to know people. "Thanks" Racheal whispers.

---------@--------

I sit in the bleachers as I wait for Cole to get out of football practice. I'm just watching him as he passes the football to the quarter back. It's pretty amazing. Cole was amazing.

"Hey"

I jumped a bit and look behind me. Sitting behind me was Racheal. Short, brown-haired, blue eyed Racheal. "Hi" I mumbled.

Racheal smiled at me "Watching your boyfriend play? He's pretty good"

I frown as I flinch "Ho-how'd.." I started.

Racheal moved down and sat next to me "I got worried, ya know? When you didn't show up for class yesterday." Racheal said while watching the field "Josh told me that you were pretty close to Cole, so I started talking to him. I was just really worried after the whole Troy thing"

I bit my lip as she asked, "What happened?" She looked at me and kept her eyes on me.

I cleared my throat "Troy...jumped me in the bathroom" I stated uncomfortably to her.

She just nods "Cole told me, I just wanted to hear it from you" she said.

I began to get mad. If she knew, why in the hell did she ask me?! "Hey...James...can I ask you a...a question? I mean, you don't have to answer it if you feel uncomfortable" Racheal said in a light whisper.

My anger subsided as I crossed my arms. I sigh "Shoot" I growled. If it was something about Cole or some shit I was going to...no, it's not right for a boy to hit a girl...but I'm still thinking about it.

Racheal stayed quiet for a minute and then stared back at the field "What's it like?" She asked.

My thoughts got more violent as I glared at her "What's what like?" I snapped.

Racheal bit her lip and her gaze went to her hands "To be who...who you are. Not hiding or trying cover it up. Living just to be you" she whispered.

My eyes widened. She knew? She knew what I was? Did Cole tell her?! "I just need to know what it's like" Racheal added, herself almost in tears.

All my anger that I had before went away and I uncrossed my arms "It's...complicated. I get depressed easily over little stuff...that I can't be who I want to be" I whispered.

Racheal was now crying. Why was she crying? Was it something I said? Before I can ask her if she's ok, Racheal wraps her arms around me giving me a tight hug "You're just like me" she whispers.

My own tears started to fall from my face. She knew...and she understood...she was like me. Turns out Racheal is that kind of person. A person like me.