Somebody That I Used to Know

“I think you should go in and say hello. There’s no point in awkwardly avoiding him forever, you know.”

Lindsey’s hands were still wrapped around the wheel tightly, her knuckles turning white under the strain. She turned to face her daughter’s determined face and held in a heavy sigh. Bandit clutched her backpack, the same one that went everywhere with her. It was covered in graffiti, mainly the names of the million and one bands she listened to on a daily basis. Lindsey loved her daughter to pieces, but at times like this when her stubbornness was overwhelming she couldn’t help but feel frustration and annoyance. She knew Bandit meant well, maybe she even had a point, but the situation was a delicate one, something Bandit didn’t seem to appreciate, or more than likely she just didn’t care how awkward it was. She knew Bandit thought this was the way to make the best of an awkward situation, but reuniting with her ex husband under the current circumstances was not on Lindsey’s list of things to do.

“Maybe another time, B. Just…say I said hello.”

“Mom, please. You don’t have to stay long. I just want you to meet him.”

Lindsey let go of the sigh, before turning the engine off and pulling her keys out of the ignition. The smile on Bandit’s face almost made it worth it. Almost.

“C’mon” Bandit got out of the car gleefully, rushing to Gerard’s front door impatiently. She waited until Lindsey caught up with her to knock on the door, a wide smile etched on her face. They didn’t wait long for a harassed looking Gerard to open the door. The bags under his eyes were the first thing Lindsey noticed. His face was pale from exhaustion, and his hair an unkempt mess. His Star Wars t-shirt was creased along with his well worn jeans but Lindsey doubted neat clothes were at the forefront of his priorities these days. In spite of his tired, slightly haggard appearance, he smiled broadly at the sight of his only daughter. He didn’t notice Lindsey at first as Bandit enveloped him in a hug, delighted to see her father for the first time in nearly two weeks. She phoned him nearly every night, but Lindsey knew she missed her father. When Gerard’s eyes finally landed on Lindsey he was noticeably stunned. Lindsey just smiled and nodded, resolutely deciding she would not show just how uncomfortable the situation made her feel.

“I thought it was time mom came around to meet Malachy.” Bandit announced, ignoring the awkward tension and pushing past her father as though she owned his new house. She took a few steps into the hall, frowning at the boxes stranded in the middle of the floor.

“Hey” Gerard greeted Lindsey awkwardly, his hand flying to rub the back of his neck, as though it would somehow make things any less awkward.

“Hey. Bandit insisted I come and say hello, but I understand if-“

Gerard cut her off before she could finish.

“It’s fine. C’mon in, excuse the mess. We’re still settling in.”

Gerard stepped inside, motioning Lindsey to come inside. She followed him into the sitting room, which was thankfully neater than the hall. Everything was set up and neatly put in place. The walls were freshly painted aqua green, brightening the room and somehow giving the impression that it was larger than it was.

“It’s a nice place” Lindsey commented.

“Thanks. It’s taking forever to get settled in, though.”

“Where’s Malachy?” Bandit interrupted, storming into the room now that her bag was successfully dumped in her room.

“He’s getting changed” Gerard answered, before offering coffee.

“I’m alright, I won’t be staying long” Lindsey quickly interjected, afraid of being tied down to staying for longer than strictly necessary.

“She’ll have a one, get me one too. Please.” Bandit amended, before grabbing the remote and settling down on the couch. Gerard walked out of the room, leaving Lindsey free to glare at her daughter in irritation.

“B” she didn’t need to say anymore; her tone was all the threat Bandit needed to look a little sheepish. Bandit just shrugged. Lindsey jumped when a voice interrupted her glaring, one that got louder with every word spoken, indicating that the person was getting closer with every second that passed.

“Gerard, when you have a minute can you-“

Madeline stopped short when she walked into the sitting room, shocked at the unexpected sight of her husband’s ex-wife. The baby cradled in her arms didn’t seem to notice though. Lindsey could spot the same tiredness in Madeline that seemed to plague Gerard too. It was the same look every parent of a new born baby had in the first few months. Lindsey wasn’t afraid to admit that she didn’t miss the broken sleep, early starts and diaper changing that took over the first few months of a baby’s life. Madeline was pale with sleep deprivation, and Lindsey felt a pang of sympathy when she remembered how tough Bandit’s first year had been. The two women just stared at each other, both keenly remembering the last time they had seen each other all those years ago in less than pleasant circumstances. Madeline’s face was oddly blank once she got over the initial shock of Lindsey’s surprise appearance.

“Hey, Maddie” Bandit greeted, jumping off the couch and grabbing her baby brother from Madeline’s arms.

“Hey, B” Madeline tried to keep the bewilderment out of her voice.

“I invited Mom around, thought it’d be nice if she met Mal. I hope you don’t mind,” Bandit’s tone wasn’t as apologetic as her words. She was completely focused on her little brother, who was bundled in a light blue blanket and gazing at her with big, blue eyes.

“Of course not.” Madeline spoke carefully, forcing politeness into her voice.

“I don’t think we ever formally met. I’m Lindsey” Lindsey decided to break the ice now that she was here. She held her hand out, and for a fleeting moment she was afraid Madeline would snub the gesture. The neutral expression on Madeline’s face didn’t reassure her, or give her any indication that she was welcomed. Lindsey breathed a sigh of relief when Madeline grasped her hand in a brief, light handshake.

“It’s nice to meet you” Madeline forced a smile on her face. She was far from pleased at the unexpected intrusion, but she was going to handle the situation with as much dignity as possible, or as possible as it was when she was exhausted and fatigued down to her very bones. She was well aware of the fact that she was less than presentable in her oversized Nirvana band tee and jeans which were stained, and her hair was flying in every direction. Compared to Lindsey’s immaculate make up, fitted trousers and tight t-shirt, she was in an absolute state. She had never envisioned meeting Lindsey but if she had, she would like to have at least levelled the playing field by looking her best.

“Likewise. Congratulations, by the way. He’s beautiful.”

The smile on Madeline’s face became more sincere at the compliment. The two women were unaware of the wide smile on Bandit’s face as she watched the two of them as the ice began to thaw slightly.

“Thank you.”

“Your home is lovely.”

“It’ll be nicer when Gerard finishes unpacking everything.” Madeline chuckled.

“Ma, you wanna hold him?” Bandit interrupted.

Lindsey was about to decline the invitation, afraid of overstepping some kind of boundary when Madeline spoke.

“It’s okay, go on ahead.”

Lindsey was nervous as she sat down on the couch and took the child from Bandit, who mumbled something about helping Gerard with the coffee and fled the room with amazing speed. The baby blinked, confused and fascinated by the new face gazing down at him. Lindsey was so enthralled with the baby that she didn’t feel the dip in the couch as Madeline took Bandit’s vacated seat. Lindsey felt like she had gone back in time looking at Malachy, who was the spitting image of Bandit at that age. Her thoughts were conflicted as she cradled the child. Part of her regretted not having more children of her own; she had been so traumatised by Bandit’s delivery that she had been unable to convince herself to go through it again, even though she knew Gerard had always wanted more kids. Fatherhood suited him, and in her heart she knew she couldn’t have picked a better man to father her only child. Gerard had been there for Bandit every step of the way, and the bond he had with her was a joy to see. For someone who had been thrown into the role at such a young age, he more than met the challenge. The guilt Lindsey felt eased, now that he had a second turn to be a father.

“I’m glad he got another chance at this” Lindsey’s thoughts came out of her mouth unintentionally. She risked a quick glance at Madeline’s reaction. There was an understanding and sympathetic expression directed at Lindsey, who fought the urge to cringe. She wondered how much Madeline knew about her marriage to Gerard, or was it a topic that was swept under the carpet in an effort to move on from the past? Lindsey, for the most part, was blissfully unaware of the circumstances surrounding his reunion with Madeline. She had never asked Bandit, and Bandit kept the information down to a minimum. Everything had happened so quickly between the two. One day they were ‘just dating’, the next thing Lindsey heard, Madeline was moving into his apartment less than a month after they rekindled their relationship. It had been a shock when Bandit had come home one day, informing her that Gerard had remarried in a small, registry office ceremony weeks after their divorce was finalised. The hurt and slight jealousy had stopped her from enquiring how he could move on so easily. Hearing that Madeline was pregnant a week after the wedding had been a blow to her self esteem. She knew the end of their marriage had been her decision, one she stood by, but it didn’t make her immune to the sting of anger and resentment that most people would feel when their ex moved on so quickly.

“Me too” Madeline agreed, not giving anything away.

“ He really is adorable”.

“It’s hard to believe he almost didn’t happen” Madeline spoke thoughtfully, unaware she was thinking out loud.

“How do you mean?”

“When I first saw Gerard again, I got so angry at him I stormed out of the coffee shop. I didn’t think I would ever see him again. I didn’t want to see him again after spilling my guts like that. I spent so long trying to get over him, that when I saw him again I realised I never would get over him. It was a bitter pill to swallow, that he was able to move on while I had nothing but memories to cling onto, and I hated him for that. In my head, all I could think about was how pathetic I’d been all along, pining for something I didn’t have. I was two blocks away, about to get in my car and drive home, when all of a sudden I saw him running down the street, trying to find me. If he’d been a few seconds later, I would never have seen him again. We wouldn’t have gotten married, and we wouldn’t have Malachy.”

“How romantic” Lindsey whispered, regretting asking the question.

“You’d think so, but he was so out of breath he could barely talk. It kinda took away from the moment.” Madeline laughed.

“I’m happy you found each other again” Lindsey was surprised by the sincerity of her words.

Madeline’s reply was stopped by Gerard’s and Bandit’s reappearance, coffee mugs in hand. The conversation was light and pleasant, but Lindsey didn’t drag her visit out for longer than necessary. The moment her coffee was gone, she was out of the house with hurried goodbyes. Bandit took the opportunity to peek through all the photos proudly on display around the sitting room. Some were pictures Bandit had seen tucked away in her father’s box, others were unfamiliar. It was strange to suddenly see so many photographs of her father from his younger years. Random high school photographs mixed in with college graduation, prom pictures and a wedding photo. The boy in the pictures showed a different side to the man she called Dad, a side she never imagined she would ever know. A year ago, the woman in those pictures had been nothing more than somebody her father used to know. She had been a piece of his past that he had left to rot in a cardboard box of forgotten memories. Bandit relished in the pride of knowing that the two people in the photos were no longer strangers to each other, but two people who had finally gotten their happy ending.