You're Already the Voice Inside My Head

I make it through the rest of the day with no more trouble from Graeme, just keeping my head down low and trying to be invisible. But for the rest of the day there’s no more from the boy in my head, I try to reach him but there’s nothing. Maybe it was just lack of sleep and banging my head but something’s nagging at me that it wasn’t.
I’m home alone when I get in, both my parents are at work so I take a can of soda from the fridge and head up to my room.
“Alex?” the voice is faint but it’s there.
Fuck there you are, where did you go?
“I don’t know... One second I was talking to you the next everything was quiet”
How can I help you though?
“I...I don’t know where I am, I don’t know what’s happened to me and I need you to find out”
You want me to find out what happened to you?
“You need to be my eyes and ears now”
Right... Sorry I’m still trying to understand this. There’s a voice in my head that needs me to find out who he is because he doesn’t remember.
“Sorry I know this is weird, but you will help me though?”
You’re the voice inside my head, like I could say no.
“Thank you Alex”
You are real though? I’ve not just gone crazy?
“I’m differently real, even if this seems very unreal” replies the voice.
Okay, guess I’ll just have to believe you, it beats being crazy. The voice starts to laugh, he’s got a sweet laugh and I smile.
So boy inside my head, what do you remember?
“Music”
You remember music?
“Yeah, it’s there in back of my mind”
What does it sound like? He starts to hum a familiar tune; I drum my fingers on my desk in time with him.
I know that tune.
“You do?”
Yeah it’s... It’s on the tip of my tongue but I can’t think what it is, I get up and grab my guitar.
Hum it again for me. As he does I play along on my guitar.
“I didn’t know you could play”
You didn’t ask. It’s Rock Show by Blink 182.
“Blink 182...That rings a bell”
It should do, they’re only one of the best bands in existence!
“You like music Alex?”
Obviously. He laughs again, I laugh too.
Maybe I should call you Blink boy, being I don’t know your name.
“I like it”
When my parents get in we have dinner, they aren’t exactly happy when I tell them that I got sent out of class for not listening. I’m sorry but History is boring as fuck.
“You can say that again”
I’m trying to talk to my parents! And you remember?
“Well it’s kind of a feeling”
Blink boy, are you in high school?
“I think so...”
That’s something I can...
“Alex, are you listening?” My mum asks.
“Oh sorry... I was miles away”
“I was asking if everything is alright at school?”
“Hmm...”
“Alex?”
Blink can you just leave me alone for a few minutes? I don’t want my family to think I’ve actually lost it or something.
“Yeah”
“Schools well school...”
“You’re not having any trouble after you know...Came out?”
“Nope” I haven’t told her about the bulling, she’d only worry and she worries about me enough as it is.
“It’s all fine” I tell her.
“Good, now don’t you have some homework to do?”
“Thanks for reminding me” I disappear back upstairs, waiting before I’m back in my room before I can talk to my strange boy again.
Sorry about that, it’s just hard trying to talk to you and them at the same time. I don’t want to blurt out something accidently. I wait a minute but there’s no replay.
Hey, you there? Still nothing so I back to my homework assuming he’ll be back in his own time. Though I can’t help but wonder where it is he goes.
I don’t hear from him all night, once I’m bed I try again.
Blink boy are you there? I’m sorry if I upset you. He doesn’t answer so I fall asleep.
I wake up but this time it’s not to Green Day, I’m crying and having trouble breathing.
“Alex?” His voice is quiet but he’s there.
Yeah. Even in my head my voice is shaking.
“What’s wrong?”
I err just had a nightmare.
“Some nightmare, even in my head you sound scared”
I’m okay, I get them a lot.
“What do you get nightmares about Alex?”
There’s um something I haven’t told you... I have this bad dream about an accident, I don’t know anything about it but I think someone died. I know how crazy that sounds but I’m talking to you in my head right now so I figured maybe not that crazy.
“You dream about someone dying?”
Yeah kind of... I don’t know why it happens, I don’t know when it happened, I just know that it did.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
I didn’t know how to... How do you bring that up to the boy you haven’t got your head around talking to?
“Yeah that makes sense but it is kind of freaky”
Kind of? I have nightmares about people dying and I’m talking to a kid in my head. I think I’m little more than freaked out!
“Alex, calm down or you’ll give yourself a panic attack”
How are you so calm? I try to focus on my breathing, I’ve had all too many panic attacks and I don’t want to go down that road again.
“I’m not, but I don’t think I can even have a panic attack”
How come?
“Alex I don’t even know if I’m alive”
H...How can you not be alive?
“Alex, think about it, I don’t who or where I am, everything around me is dark and I’m not even sure if I’m breathing. Right now I could be dead”
I will found out okay? I will found out who you are and what’s happened to you. I won’t leave you like that I promise”
“I believe you”
I will help you my Blink boy.
“Sleep first though”
Nighty night the voice inside my head.
“Goodnight Alex”