I Want You Back

I twirled the ring around my finger as I try to get used to the diamond that surrounded my finger.

It had been two weeks since Cristiano had proposed and no matter how hard I tried to convince myself, I just couldn’t picture myself walking down the aisle and spending my life with him.

All I could think about is how I wanted Cesc and no matter how hard I tried to lie to myself I was still in love with him. But despite how I feel I know he has moved on, I had seen the paparazzi pics of him and Nabeelah around town. They looked so happy, with his hands around her waist and the sweet kisses he placed on her cheek. As I was bombarded daily with this pics I knew for sure that mine and Cesc chance had passed and I would need to find a way to move on from him.

“Babe we’re back” Cristiano called, snapping me out of my thoughts.

I took a deep breath as I turned to face him from my spot over the stove.

“Where have you been?” I asked even though I wasn’t remotely interested. When I woke up and I realised he wasn’t there, my heart did a jump for joy because I knew I wouldn’t have to be dealing with him so early in the morning.

He walked up closer to me before leaning forward and giving me a kiss. I let his lips touch mine momentarily before pulling away.

“I went to speak to Jorge about booking a flight to Portugal. I thought we could go see my mum and you know… start planning the wedding” he suggested before sitting down.

I inhaled deeply before turning my back to him.

I racked my brain for a response as I realised that going to Portugal would involve me going to spend time with a woman I knew disliked me intensely. Cristiano’s mother made no effort to make me feel welcome and even when I fell pregnant with Junior she still insisted that I was only doing to trap her son and constantly told me how I wasn’t good enough for him.

“Are you sure it’s a good time to be going back to Madeira? I mean the league is pretty busy at the moment and I don’t want you to miss any important games” I lied as he brushed me off.

“Don’t stress about it babe. I spoke to Carlo he says I can have a couple of weeks off and since you know how cranky I get when I watch the team play I thought it would be a good idea for us to get away from this place” he explained as I started serving him breakfast. Junior would be up soon so I knew that discussion needed to be over soon so he wouldn’t walk into a room full of tension.

“Cris I don’t want to…”

“We leave tomorrow at 9” he interrupted me as he sipped on his juice. “I know you have some reservation about being around my mom but she’ll warm up to you. She doesn’t have a choice now. We are getting married Marley and that’s a commitment that ties us for life. You just have to have to go the extra mile to please her Mar”

I stood with my jaw on the floor as I listened to what he wanted me to do. She was the one who had the problem with me yet I had to be the one who went out of her way to mommy dearest comfortable. This was so patronizing and I prepared to have a word with Cristiano about it.

“Cris look I get that you love your mother but I refuse to bend over backwards for that bi…”

“Mommy” Junior cried as he walked into the room, causing me stop my rant immediately.

I turned around before bending down and cradling my son in my arms. Junior gave one yawn before falling back asleep on my shoulder. Cristiano stood up from his seat before taking Junior in his arms.

“I’ll put him back in bed and when you get back we can start discussing wedding venues in my home town” he snapped as he turned around.

“But Cristiano I…” I said but he gave me one hard glare.

“Marley this conversation is over now get the wedding magazines from your drawer so we can start planning” he demanded before walking you the stairs to put Junior down.

I held in the tears as I walked backwards to the drawers to pull out the magazines. I guess its time for me to realise that Cristiano and I were going to get married and there was nothing I could do to change it.

~

“Aah Cesc I love this one. I think I want this one”

“You can take any dress you want babe. I’ll pay for it” I assured Nabeelah as she went back into the dressing room with an armful of new dresses. I put on a fake smile as she looked at me for reassurance before going back into the dressing room.

It wasn’t that I wasn’t in love with Bea, its just that I love HER more.

No matter how hard I had tried over the last few months I couldn’t stop thinking about Marley. Even though I knew her and Cris looked certain to get married a part of me still was still hoping that she would change her mind and come back to me.

“Cesc cane we get them all?” Bea asked once she was done looking through all the dresses in the store. I just nodded my head as I took out my card and paid for everything she wanted.

I had realised that lately I seemed to be doing that a lot. I had chosen to cover up my hurt by making sure Bea got everything that she wanted. We had gone to the most expensive restaurants, gone to theatre productions of shows I hated and had even met her parents in an attempt to reassure her I was committed to us. She never once suspected that I was unhappy, but how could she when I wasn’t even willing to admit it to myself?

“So are you in Cesc?” Gerard ask as we sat at a restaurant enjoying lunch with him, Bea and Shakira.

“In with what?” I coughed as I realised that I wasn’t listening.

“Going to the wedding? Cristiano sent me an invitation in the mail today inviting us to the thing. I just think he is trying to gloat about it but I just think since Marley was our friend we should at least go there to support her”

He explained as my brain thought about how far we had all drifted since she had gotten back with Cristiano. She had become a virtual stranger, never calling anyone one of us and had barley spent time with her brother Carles since they had given their relationship another try.

I balled my fists as I realised how much she had changed for him. did she even have anyone to turn to now that she was so far away from home? Did he at least treat her with the respect she deserved?

As I thought about all this, something formed in my mind.

If I was really going to support Marley I would need to see her one last time just so I could get some closure on us. And know definitely that there was no chance we could be together.

“Yes. I’m game for going to the wedding. We have to be there to support her no matter what”