I Want You Back

“When are you coming back?” Carles continued to pepper me with questions as I packed my handbag for a day in Madrid.

“I’ll be gone just a few hours. I promise. I know how busy you guys have it with Manuela and I appreciate your offer to babysit Junior while I have my conversation with Cristiano”

My brother dismissed my thanks by adding that he loved taking care of his nephew but his good words ended there, as he wanted to know what I planned to tell Cristiano.

“I’ll tell you what I told him… when I get back” I laughed as I walked out of his house to my car.

After today, everything in my life would be a little bit clearer.

****

“I got freshly squeezed orange juice” Cristiano offered as we sat on the couch in his house.

Despite all the time I had spent here, the month away from this place made me realise that these four walls would never be home to me.

I took small sips of my drink as I waited for him to settle down before starting our conversation.

“I take it you’ve made your decision?” he said as he raised an eyebrow and I nodded.

“So let’s hear it? Are you coming back or going to be with him?” He asked as if the options were that simple.

“Cris you know its not that simple. It’s not a straight shoot out between you and. This right now is just about us and what happened. What you did to me really hurt me and the fact that you lied to me over and over again, showed me your true colours”

“Marley I didn’t mean to hu…”

“Hurt me? You didn’t just hurt me. You destroyed me and everything I believe in with what you did. You made me feel so small and stupid for even believing you but there is a part of me that still loves you despite all the bad that you have done”

That sentence seemed to have sparked something in Cristiano as he looked at me with a hopeful expression.

“Does that mean…?” he asked with excitement in his voice.

“No Cris…” I finally began to admit to the reason I was here. “There can be and there will never be a me and you again. You’ve hurt me to much and you’ve done things to me that would make it impossible for me to forgive you. This is not to say that I’ve been innocent in all of this. When I was unhappy I should have told you so we could fix things rather than letting them get so bad that I forced you to seek comfort in other women’s arms”

He nodded and lent back on his chair as he let what I said sink in

“So what does this mean for us?” he said slowly as he looked up at the ceiling.

“It means we focus on being the best possible parents for our son. Despite the differences that we might have, we need to make sure that Junior always comes first. There is no need for him to suffer just because we aren’t together anymore”

I suggested as he nodded.

He took one deep breath before turning to look at me.

“Marley despite everything I did. I really did love you, I just wasn’t very good at expressing that love” he admitted as I nodded in agreement.

“Hey just because things didn’t work out between you and me doesn’t mean you can’t find your own happily every after” I offered as he shrugged.

We both said our final goodbyes as he walked me to the door and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

For the first time in what felt like forever, him and I had finally agreed on something and despite part of me being in love with him, I knew it was for the best that we stay apart.

Now I had to muster up the courage to go after what I want in the search of my own happily ever after.

There was only one person who could do that for me and as I started up the engine of my car, I sent a message to him, as I prepared for my new life.

“Cesc, there’s something I need to tell you. I’m on my way over – Marley”