Love Just Is

Harry and I talked a lot. I’m one of those people who prefers a real conversation over the phone vs a text message, only because it’s easier for me to get a certain tone across when you can hear me. Plus I have the worst luck with texting and prefer not re-live some of those moments. However I was okay with Harry texting me, he usually called though. He only texted when he was in class, or I was in class, or one of us was busy doing something else and didn’t really have the chance to call. And after the first month the kid had learnt my entire class schedule so I could expect a phone call from him as soon as I was walking out the door if he wasn’t too busy to call. It was weird really. It was weird how comfortable we were around one another already, or really I guess I should say how comfortable I was around him already. It was kind of obvious that Harry could easily make himself comfortable around anyone.

I’d always been told that I took forever to open up to people I didn’t know, but I felt like an open book around Harry. I felt like I could tell him anything and he’d listen. I felt like I could do anything and he’d understand. Harry was that boy who entered my life and even though everything I’d always known was telling me not to get attached or fall for his charm because he’d likely break me I didn’t listen. He was that boy, the one I was doomed to be in love with. Harry was my weakness. Harry Fucking Edward Styles was the person I’d never be able to give up once I was addicted. He was my drug.

“Mads!”

“How’d I know you’d be calling me.”

“I don’t know, maybe because I always call you. Anyways, I was wondering if you wanted to grab some lunch I’m super nervous about this test I just took and really need to just take my mind off how badly I did.”

“Of course, d’you wanna meet at the diner? Or there’s this new place near my flat that just opened last week. I think it’s like Thai or Indian, I don’t remember. But it’s something different. I’m sure you did fine on your test though. You’re just stressed out. You’ve been cramming for the thing non-stop. And you’re just worried that all your studying didn’t pay off. But we went over everything last night and you did fine then so unless you forgot everything in a matter of like fifteen hours I’m sure you did fine.”

“I know, I’m just nervous that I didn’t do as well as I thought I would. But uh we can go do that new place near your place. I’m up for a little adventure.”

“Well I’ll be there in like ten minutes. I just got out of class, but I’m sure you already knew that since you ya know stalk me and all.”

“Oh please. I do not stalk you. I have my friends do it for me so they go down for the crime and not me.”

“You’re ridiculous.”

“And you tell me that every time we talk I feel.”

“Well maybe that’s because it’s true.”

“Yea okay. Just stay where you are, I can see you but you walk so damn fast I can’t catch up.”

“As long as you can walk faster than you talk I’m sure you can catch up.”

“Are you making fun of me Mads? Because that’s not very nice, and I think we both know that you find my slow gravelly voice sexy.”

“You’re full of it. Just hurry up would ya, you mentioned food and now I’m hungry.”

“I know.”

And then the phone call was over and I felt his arm slide over my shoulders like nothing and we were walking across campus to head to my flat, or well rather to head to the new restaurant near my flat eat lunch and then head to my flat. Neither of us had class past one o‘clock on Tuesdays so lunch and then staying at my place chit chatting, or on the rare occasion that we could actually get things done doing homework was kind of a normal occurrence with us. Or well it’d become a normal occurrence with us.

Another thing that’d become normal for us was Harry paying for my food, he’d even ordered for me once so sure that he knew just what I’d like when we went out to this meterditatan place. Of course he’d been right and I had like the food but it had taken me back a bit because well I didn’t like being told what I was going to order. I didn’t like feeling like I had no control over what was happening, and most people would’ve ordered something I totally detested, I’m sure of it. Harry however had been spot on, ordering actually what I’d been looking at and thinking about getting like he could read my mind. And somehow I couldn’t be mad that he had control over things because as much as I’d always hated it I didn’t feel like Harry was trying to control me. It was weird and made no sense, but I just let it be.

“Fuck this is spicy.”

I couldn’t hold in my laughter while I watched Harry’s face contort into this rather unattractive position. His tongue stuck out for a second like he was trying to let it cool off, and then like an idiot he took another bite and drank some water. Which made things worse.

“Idiot. You don’t drink water with spicy food. You drink milk, eat dairy or bread.”

“Well miss I know everything about eating spicy foods, give me a piece of your damn bread because my tongue’s fuckin burnin.”

And before I could stop him he was reaching across the table to steal a piece of my bread, and I just rolled my eyes.

“I’m picking where we go next time. That way you can’t kill me with your spicy food choices.”

“You’re being a baby. The food isn’t that spicy. It’s really good actually.”

“I am not being a baby.”

“Yea you are.”

“No, I’m not.”

I sent Harry a pointed look saying that he was indeed being a baby before he let out a huff of air understanding that he wouldn’t get me to change my mind.

“Let’s just pay and get out of here.”

And with another huff of breath Harry was up and out of his seat going to pay for the both of us. And I just let him, it was much easier to just let Harry be a gentleman and pay for me than argue that I was perfectly capable of paying for myself. Plus I doubt that it was even putting a dent in his bank account. I mean I don’t know what the kid’s parents did, we hadn’t ever talked about it, but one thing I did know was that he wasn’t the one paying for this place and that money wasn’t really a problem when it came to him.

Arriving back to my flat was always interesting. Harry would make a comment about how he didn’t know how I got any sleep here at all. Apparently where he lived it was a lot calmer. There weren’t parties all the time, unless his friends were throwing one. There wasn’t all this noise and things could get done. But I always told him the same thing. I couldn’t afford to live anywhere else and I put up with it because it was still a lot nicer than some of the flats I’d looked at. Plus while I did get annoyed with how loud everyone was, and I hated how the people who lived next door were always either fighting or having sex and they weren’t very quiet. I’d gotten use to it, I knew their routine and easily knew when to slip in my ear plugs.

Harry thought it was weird that I didn’t even try looking for somewhere else, but I told him that some people like the noise of others around them, even if it was annoying, to keep them sane. Sure I was all for a good hike through the woods, or just a quiet night at home with my boyfriend at the time or whatever just sitting in front of a fire basking in one another as much as the next person, but noise kept me sane. Knowing that there were normal people around, people doing what they wanted to do, and just living had always been something I’d liked. I had a passion for photography after all and being around people I could take pictures of life as it happened, I could view emotions through a lense and it made me happy. Sure sometimes I wanted to punch them all in the face and make them shut up but I didn’t and I’d gotten use to the noise.