Dizzy Hurricane

“It was attempted murder…”

The statement floats around my head all morning. No matter what I do; watch TV, listen to music, experiment with make up in the mirror, etc. - nothing works. In fact, looking at myself in the mirror didn’t help out at all, it just made things worse. Seeing that rope burn around my neck is just….

“….They made it look like a suicide attempt. Someone is really out to get you. Is there anyone that comes to mind that you think would do this?”

I swallow hard and shake my head, hoping to push the event of that night out of my head. I don’t remember much, since apparently I was knocked out for most of the time. What I do remember, though, is when and where it happened. The officer was glad I could provide him with this information, a little surprised, even, saying that the concussion should have messed with some of my memory, at least with what had happened that day. I wish it was that way. Now all that’s in my head this past week has been the conscience moments before I ended up in the hospital, and even the few times I drifted into consciousness but no one knew. My eyes were closed involuntarily, of course. This is going to be the second time I was placed in a hospital but this time around when I wanted to face Lizzy, I couldn’t. All I could do was lay helplessly as I listened to her sobs and Kellin’s reassuring whispers.

“Ally?”

I turned to face Naomi as she entered the room, rubbing her eyes sleepily.

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“Yes?”

I found Ally staring herself down in her bathroom mirror. She looked so confused and troubled, the poor girl. It’s the same look she had when we brought her home the other night: Kellin rented a car to drive the group to the hospital the day of her release, and then we all joined to drop her off. It was sort of her housewarming, since it was the first time all of us were gathered at her house. The air was tense at first, but Vic’s friends helped loosen us up a bit. Then Justin ended up switching the TV on and we all relaxed after a while. I served some snacks that I knew Ally had stashed away for those late nights she planned to have with me, telling everyone to please help themselves.

At first, Ally stood awkwardly by the door, looking around as if the place looked unfamiliar. Soon enough she was her usual self and was chatting it up with everyone, she even spoke openly to Tania, which we were all surprised about. She looked genuinely happy for her and Jack, which completely threw him off. I was proud of Ally, and just relieved that I could get her back as my best friend.
After a couple of hours, we headed out, and I promised her that I would be back for the weekend, exactly why I’m here, checking up on her in the bathroom at 7:55 AM.

“Come back to bed, Ally,” I groan.

“Oh, alright.”

She looks wide awake, and even the way she responded amused me, she looked like an energized ten year old not ready for sleep. But I am. It’s not like we stood up all night; we got plenty of sleep. But yesterday was really exhausting: I had classes, including a cooking competition, last minute packing, two exams, and movie night with Vic and his friends, plus time put to the side that I had devoted to him. After that long day I took a late bus ride to Ally’s apartment, so here I am, groggy on a Friday morning, ready to spend the weekend reconnecting with my best friend. I’m glad we have all this time ahead of us.

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I wonder how long I’ve known this girl. It must be a long friendship if she shows up on a Thursday night and says she going to sleep over for the weekend. She dresses nice…and has bags under her eyes, and seems to have a great bubbly personality. I remember hanging out with her, but at the same time it’s a little fogged up. We were on a school campus, Michael Jackson Academy, they said.

When I was dropped off the other night I noticed a picture on my coffee table. I picked it up and stared hard at it, pushing myself to remember each person’s name and a moment I had with them. It didn’t work much, but the doctor said I should do this regularly, or ask that particular person to describe a moment they had with me, so that it could jog my memory. I tried it out that night, but I only got to a few people before I got irritated with myself and changed the topic. I noticed that I stood between two guys, Jack, the one with the wife, pointed himself out when I picked it up. Tania helped pin some familiar faces as well. I also got to talk to Lizzy and her husband, Kellin. They told me that I was known to always gush about how cute they were when I was around them. I smiled at the thought and tried picturing it. The other guy standing next to me is named Vic. I know he’s my best friend, at least that’s what some of them were telling me. I also noticed that they looked weird about it, as if something bad had happened. I’m sure it was just the accident on their mind. He was holding hands with Naomi on the couch when I sat beside them and started talking to them. They had plenty of stories to tell me. They didn’t get to finish, so they said they would visit another time to help me remember. So now Naomi is here, and we have a whole day ahead of us, despite the fact that she wants us to sleep in. I can’t though, I’m just too anxious about the whole thing. I feel like there’s so much history with these people, they claim there is, and I believe it. But at the same time it feels like there are a bunch of heavy theater drapes hiding those memories and I have to try really hard to pull it away in order to remember. I hope this gets better soon.

I roll over to my side and sigh; there’s no way I can fall asleep now, there’s so much to talk about!

“Ally,” Naomi whispers, “you up?”

I sit up and push my hair back, “Yes.”

She stretches and yawns, “I guess we can start our day, I can’t sleep anymore. I’ll fix you up some breakfast.”

It’s about time.