Caged

They had fallen into a sort of routine. Jonathan would not lie, he liked this routine...and he liked this family.
They had moved into a nice suburban home near Cambridge and adopted a dog named Charlie. Sarah had proved to not be a problem at all. She had started a new school and ensured everyone that her name was Ana - she had stated that she liked that name better anyway. Donovan transferred to the University of Cambridge and kept his motorcycle - he never spoke much.

Jonathan wasn’t sure what he wanted to do with the rest of his life. He had never really had much time to think about it, seeing as he had never thought he would ever have the opportunity to be free from his father’s grasp. So he stayed home most days and wrote. Sometimes he would write on the patio or take a walk around the neighborhood; he liked to do this often. He had never been given so much freedom to walk outside.

Johan was still not found. This frightened Jonathan more than he ever showed. He wanted to know that his father was in custody and would rot behind bars for the rest of his life. But until he was found, the family would remain in England. Jonathan always felt guilty, knowing that he was the reason a family had to change their entire lives. He wanted nothing more than for Johan to be found so that they could go back to semi normal lives. When Johan is found - if - Jonathan would no longer need a marshall. He would remain in the system and be expected to give reports every two weeks, but he would be alone. As much as he dreaded the thought, he knew that it was for the best. But Jonathan knew...if Johan had remained invisible to the system for 17 years, he could very well go the rest of his days in hiding.

...

“What are you up to?”

Jamie - who would still rather be called Dhonovan in private - sat beside Jonathan on the large couch in the wrap-around porch. They were facing the rest of the houses in the neighborhood. Summer had rolled around, children were outside playing, everything was green and beautiful and Jonathan had found inspiration.

“What I do most days, write.”

“Can I read any of it yet?”

“You know the answer will always be no.”

One other significant thing has changed. For some reason that he cannot understand, the only person Jonathan feels comfortable talking to about mostly anything is Dhonovan. The two never really say much to each other, but they confide in one another with secrets that they’re too afraid to tell anyone else. Jonathan knew better, but he could have sworn that he felt almost an...attraction to Dhonovan.

But he knew that this was most likely not really the case; he was just glad to have someone to talk to other than his mirror.

Jonathan has told Dhonovan absolutely everything about his family and his life growing up. He’s told him all of his fears about Johan still being free and what he wants to come out of all of this. He hasn’t even shared this information with Elizabeth.

In turn, Dhonovan has told Jonathan every little detail about his life and all of his deepest secrets. Both of the boys had always felt trapped in their own, different ways and up until that point, they had never found anyone to share these fears with. They took refuge in one another.

“Is your dad making you go to the office with him again today?” Jonathan asked, accepting the red vine that Dhonovan offered.

The eldest sighed, rubbing his face with his palm. Jonathan thought that he always looked so tired.
Mark was grooming Dhonovan to be just like him. And Dhonovan hated every second of it. Dhonovan confided that since birth, his father wanted him to be a part of the FBI, to fight crime, to be a hero. This is why Dhonovan always accompanied him to the office and was always given orders to follow. What did Dhonovan want to do? He did like helping people, a lot. So much so that he had always contemplated being a social worker. Of course he could never tell his father this. This is why he was going to university in the criminal justice program instead of health services.

“You know he is, except he wants you to come along too. He thinks that maybe you’d like a career in his field since you’ve been so ‘victimized’. Sorry about this, he’s going to try to push this onto you too.”

“I think you should tell him.” Jonathan stole another red vine. “It isn’t fair to you to go your entire life doing something you wish you didn’t have to. I mean, it’s not like it’s a family business or anything.”

“My dad wouldn’t understand.” Dhonovan sent a sad smile his way.

“Oh don’t even talk about non understanding fathers! Mine tried to kill me because I wanted to move out.”

Jonathan was getting stronger. He could talk about his past life and not dig himself into a hole of depression anymore. It just proved that he was getting over this.

Dhonovan gave a light chuckle.

“How about you tell your mom? She’s way more understanding!”

“Yeah, but then she’ll tell dad and he’ll get all angry that I didn’t tell him myself and then he’ll blabber on about how this is just a phase because the school work is so hard and that I should just suck it up and go with it.” Jonathan rolled his eyes and sent a punch to Dhonovan’s shoulder. “Change of subject! Wanna go to a movie tonight?”

How could Jonathan say no to that?

...

His life seemed almost perfect. He was happy.

And then reality crashed around him.

The family had gone out for the day. Elizabeth had taken Sarah shopping for new clothes and a present for her friend’s birthday party, Mark had gone into work and wouldn’t be back until 10:30 that night and Dhonovan...went somewhere; he sort of just left and didn’t tell anyone where he was going.

Jonathan had gone out for a short walk to the park and returned in time to make himself lunch. He hoped Dhonovan would be home, but his motorcycle was still gone. Jonathan had expected everything to be normal, like it always was...he was wrong.

He hummed all the way to the kitchen and fixed himself up a BLT. He took it into the living room, hoping to watch a movie, not expecting who would be sitting on his couch. The breath just about left Jonathan’s lips as he dropped his sandwich on the ground. He turned to make a run for it, but a big body behind him stopped any move he planned to make. Jonathan closed his eyes, praying for this all to be a nightmare. How was he found?

“Did you really think I wouldn’t find you?” Johan raised himself from the couch, slowly making his way Jonathan. The boy was squirming in the man’s arms, tears streaming down his face. His worst nightmare was coming true. “Come on, you should know better than that.” Johan roughly grabbed Jonathan’s face, forcing the shaking boy to look at him. “I’ve had enough of you. I have better things to do than chase after you.” He pulled a handgun out of his jacket and held it to Jonathan’s head. “What better way for your lovely new family to find you than with a bullet in your head?” Jonathan shook like a leaf. Johan had no plans to stall this time, he planned to pull the trigger, then leave Jonathan’s bloody body rotting on the floor for the first family member home to find.

Jonathan sobbed as he felt the cold metal on his head. He was just grateful that his father had the decency to make it quick.

Then he heard the revving of the motorcycle engine. His heart rate instantly picked up. But it was not out of excitement or relief. No, he was terrified. The last thing Jonathan wanted was for Dhonovan to be hurt. It would physically hurt him if he knew that Dhonovan was hurt in any way.

At that moment, Jonathan wasn’t sure if he was glad or regretful that he pulled so hard to be free from the large man’s grasp. The man had not been expecting it, Jonathan managed to mostly free himself to run...the gun fired.

A sharp, hot pain like none than he has ever felt before burned through Jonathan’s shoulder and down his arm. A scream tore itself from his lips as his knees gave out from underneath him. Dhonovan was screaming his name.

Dhonovan didn’t know whether to stay outside where it was safe or burst through the doors, where he knew that Johan was definitely there, with Jonathan. The young man quickly pulled out his phone and typed a quick 911 to his father followed by Johan’s name. He knew he should have been calling the police as well, but the parents outside were all frantically pulling their children into their homes with looks of horror on their faces. Surely one of them would call the police.

Jonathan was dropped to the ground, tears streaming down his face. Johan swore loudly, turning his gun back to his son when the sirens were heard. Jonathan wondered how the police were so quick to arrive on scene, but that only flashed in his mind for a second before another wave of pain washed over his body and another scream escape his lips, followed by sobs.

Blood was pooling out of Jonathan’s arm and onto the nice, cream carpet. He couldn’t even attempt to put pressure on the wound as his other arm was being twisted behind his back by the large man.
A look of panic crossed Johan’s face. As much as he would love to murder his son, he did not like the idea of spending the rest of his days locked in a small cell in an orange jumpsuit. Or the alternative...death.

He quickly stashed his gun and made a run for the back door. There was a car waiting for him around back. His henchman rose from his crouching position to follow his boss, but not before heavily stomping on Jonathan’s bloody shoulder, effectively popping the joint out of place.

Another scream. Black spots appeared in Jonathan’s vision. He wanted nothing more than to black out and be free from the pain, but agony continued to shoot through his system, effectively keeping him awake. He had read that unconsciousness was a defense mechanism used by the body when it could no longer handle a certain situation. He wanted to call bullshit on this fact.

The door was kicked opened and slightly shaky voice screamed ‘police, drop your weapons’. It was Dhonovan. He sounded absolutely terrified, but he still made his way inside the house. Johan and his man were long gone.

Dhonovan checked every corner of the lower level of the house before crouching down to Jonathan’s level. He assessed the situation and attempted to put pressure on the wound. This caused Jonathan to continue screaming, sobs racking his small frame.

Dhonovan was shaking from head to toe as he attempted to staunch the blood. There was so much blood.

“Oh god. I know. I know it hurts, but we have to stop the bleeding. We have to stop the bleeding, okay.”

Dhonovan’s hands shook as he rid himself of his shirt, ripped it up and placed the handmaid gauze on Jonathan’s shoulder.

“We have to get you out of here. We have to get you outside.” Jonathan sobbed at the thought of moving. “There are people outside, okay. We can’t stay hidden in here. It’s too dangerous. We have to go outside. I’ll help you, I’ll help you.”

Jonathan’s screams filled the neighborhood - along with a few choice cuss words of Dhonovan’s - as Dhonovan attempted to lift him by his uninjured arm and help his walk outside. The pain was too much. Jonathan wasn’t sure how he was handling it. But the longer it went on, the less he felt it. He was worried that this meant that he was losing that arm, but the fact that the pain was lessening - though not by much - was better than what he felt at the beginning.

Dhonovan barely dragged Jonathan outside before his father’s SUV came speeding down the street. He drove straight over the sidewalk and onto the lawn before getting out of the car, gun in hand.

“Is he still in the house?” He shouted. Dhonovan was so worried about the amount of blood that was currently soaking through the shirt that he barely heard his father. “Dhonovan, focus! Is he still in the house?” Mark yelled even louder.

Dhonovan gave a shaky ‘no’, but his father ran in anyway, gun in front.

Dhonovan was sitting on the lawn, Jonathan leaned on him, pressing the cloth harder into his
shoulder while the younger screamed and sobbed into his chest. Jonathan realized that the siren had been coming from Dhonovan's motorcycle; the police had yet to arrive.

Mark exited the house two minutes later. Another 30 seconds and about 10 police cars were speeding down the street onto the scene. The only thing Dhonovan cared about was that there were also ambulances.

Jonathan barely remembered the medics picking him up and placing him onto the stretcher. His vision had finally started to go. The last thing he remembered was Dhonovan’s hand slowly slipping out of his.

...

“What the hell are you talking about? We can’t just leave him! He was just almost killed!”

Dhonovan was in a rage. The family was sitting the emergency room waiting room. Sarah was fast asleep on the chair while the others went to quickly speak outside.

“Exactly, Dhonovan.” Elizabeth began. She never thought she would be saying these words. “He was almost killed. What would have happened if someone else had gotten home first? Me and Sarah? You? We have to think about our family.” She sighed, tears building in her eyes. She felt as though this was the hardest thing she would ever have to say in her life.

“But -”

“Enough, Dhonovan.” Mark cut him off. “I’ve already contacted Lowry. They found another Marshall, one without a family to worry about. He’ll be fine.”

“What do you mean, ‘he’ll be fine’? Johan found him!”

“That’s what we’re trying to get through to you.” Mark was tempted to scream at his son, but there were other people around. “He found him in our home! I will not be putting my family’s life at risk for one child. If Johan finds him then yes, of course we’ll be crushed, but our family will be safe. I don’t want to hear anymore of this Dhonovan. We leave tomorrow!”

The couple returned inside, leaving their son standing alone. He stared at the place where they used to be. So many thoughts were rushing thought his mind.

‘How can they do this?’

‘He’ll be found and he’ll be killed on sight.’

‘They can’t do this to him. It’s not fair.’

His father would have argued that life wasn’t fair. Dhonovan wanted to turn and scream, punch something and be angry at everyone. He had grown attached to Jonathan. He knew all of the boy’s fears, all of his secrets...all of his dreams. He had hoped to one day publish a best selling novel. He wanted a family and a house with a white picket fence and a garden with strawberries because he loves strawberries. He didn’t deserve to die at 18.

Dhonovan didn’t want to admit this to anyone but himself, but...he was almost - not almost, but actually - attracted to Jonathan. Attraction as in falling head over heels in love with. He felt as though it could not have been helped. Not since he got to know who Jonathan was as a person. He wouldn’t hurt a fly and yet he had to live his entire life in fear. He didn’t deserve it.

And Dhonovan would never see him again. He would have a new identity, a new home...Dhonovan was never allowed to know where any of these were. He would never see Jonathan again.

...

When Jonathan awoke, he was confused. At first he thought that his father had actually killed him and that he was stuck in some sort of limbo. But there was a throbbing in his shoulder and arm and he realized that limbo wasn’t supposed to hurt. He was in a hospital room...alone.

Jonathan knew. He knew that this was the end of his run with his too wonderful family. They wouldn’t stick around after this. It was too close of a call to any of them being in his situation. He didn’t blame them. He wanted them to go. He had at least hoped for a goodbye.

A single tear made its way down his cheek and he looked at the door. Not even a goodbye.

...

He had been wrong. They hadn’t left yet. Mark came in a few seconds after Jonathan wiped his cheek free of the liquid, followed by Elizabeth holding Sarah and finally Dhonovan, who wouldn’t look up from his shoes.

“How are you feeling?” Elizabeth whispered over, barely able to keep eye contact.

Jonathan kept his eyes to the crisp white sheets on his bed. He wanted them to get it over with. It would hurt just as much. Every family has abandoned him.

Mark cleared his throat and sat at the edge of the bed.

“I know that you know what this means, John.” He began. Jonathan didn’t want to look up and see the pity in their eyes. “The...agency felt that it just wasn’t safe for us to stay on this assignment.” That felt like a cold slap to his face. He was an ‘assignment’. “They’ve found you another marshall. His name is Rob, he’s a wonderful man. You’ll meet him soon.” Jonathan gave a barely there nod. “This is our goodbye.”

Jonathan finally looked into his eyes. Another nod. He gave Jonathan a hard pat on the back. 5 months and he gets a slap on the back. 
Elizabeth gave him a tight hug with teary eyes. He hugged her back, had it not been for her, he would never have met them and for that, he would forever be grateful. 
Sarah came and wrapped her small around him. Jonathan didn’t want to let go.

“YA budu skuchat' po tebe.”
He had been teaching Sarah Russian, she picked it up quite quickly. Jonathan feared that if he said anything, he would start to cry. He nodded and allowed her to go back to her mother.

It hurt most that Dhonovan didn’t look at him and simply sent a small wave before following his family out of the room. No goodbye. No hug. He would never see Dhonovan again.

He was alone.

The tears came after the first whimper escaped his lips. Jonathan almost wished that his father had made that shot. It would have hurt less that the pain he was currently feeling.

...

Dhonovan sat in the waiting room chair with his family. They would be picked up when Roberts arrives. There were police officers surveying Jonathan’s room. No one without a badge and special permission was allowed entrance.

He felt like poo. Not even a goodbye. He wondered how hurt Jonathan must be feeling. Dhonovan couldn’t bring himself to say goodbye, even though he knew it was. He had been attempting to spare his own feelings and he knew that must have torn Jonathan apart instead.

“Excuse me, I have to use the washroom.”

Elizabeth nodded. Mark was too busy on the phone to pay attention and Sarah was nodding off again on her mother’s chest.

Without being seen by his family, Donovan quickly made his way back towards Jonathan’s room. He was allotted entrance. He thought he felt bad before...

Jonathan was sobbing on the bed, arms wrapped around himself as though he was trying to keep himself from falling apart. Dhonovan’s felt as though his insides were churning; the poor boy had no one.

Jonathan jumped when Dhonovan sat himself on the bed beside him, but allowed himself to be held. Jonathan cried into Dhonovan’s chest until it was time for him to go. He got a proper goodbye this time.

...

Dhonovan was in the living room watching cartoons with Sarah. 3 months had gone by since they heard any news about Jonathan.

The family had been allowed to return to their old names and continue with their old lives back in the U.S., though they were in a different state. But it wasn’t the same. Not for Dhonovan anyway. Every day that passed, he knew that there was something missing. Jonathan’s laughter no longer filled the halls. He didn’t jump on Dhonovan’s bed to wake him up in the mornings or beg to ride on the back of the motorcycle. He wasn’t seen sitting on the floor with Sarah, teaching her Russian while she taught him how to braid doll hair.

He had been loved and now he was missed. Mark was also on the couch beside his children, laughing at what had passed on the television with Sarah. Dhonovan rarely laughed any more.

Elizabeth had been in the kitchen, preparing dinner, watching the news on the small television over the table. Glass shattered.

Mark immediately jumped from the couch and ran to the kitchen followed by Dhonovan. Sarah knew to stay by the door. But everything was alright.

Elizabeth seemed to be in a sort of trance, her eyes glued to the television. Mark shook her shoulders to no avail. He turned to tell Dhonovan to get his sister, but found that his son too was in a trance. So he turned his gaze. He would never stop believing that this was all his fault.

...

‘MISSING:
 18 year old boy gone from home.

David Russell was last seen by father, Thomas Russell, playing in the backyard with their dog Wednesday night at around 8:30 pm. Thomas allegedly went outside at around 9:00 pm to tell David that it was time to return inside only to find that his son had gone. DNA evidence has matched droplets of blood found on the scene to 18 year old David. If anyone has any information on the whereabouts of this missing boy, please contact the California missing person’s hotline at 1-800-222-FIND (1-800-222-3463).’