The Most Important Rule

TWO WEEKS LATER

It had been a while since Foster had woken up, and I think he was finally getting used to being a werewolf. We were required by D.a.r.c. to spend the next few weeks at HQ until Foster was completely under control. Our sleeping arrangements were pretty much up to us - Thez said that we could crash wherever we wanted.

"However," Thez had said after he had told us this, "there is one condition. If you all decide to stay in one room, one side will be pink—for girls—and the other side will be blue, for boys." Foster, Rustan and I all exchanged disturbed looks. I felt like I was at summer camp. "And," Thez continued, "there will be no purpling."

Foster and I looked at each other and burst out laughing. Rustan just stood there, dumfounded at how immature we were.

Purpling was officially my new favorite word.

Anyway, back to the present. I made sure that I spent plenty of time with him, doing what he asked and whatnot, because I felt so guilty for what had happened. Foster didn't say anything about it, but I was sure he knew that I was only doing this out of guilt. And it hurt him. I could see that he wished that I would hang out with him because I wanted to, not because I felt obliged to.

But neither of us had to worry about this too much because something even more strange happened: Rustan hung out with us, too. I wasn't sure if he was doing this because he felt bad for Foster as well, or if he was just keeping an eye out for me because I was spending so much time with a newly-turned werewolf. I wondered if Rustan hung around because of Foster, or because of me.

Either way, Foster and I knew better than to ask about it. We actually enjoyed being a group of three, and we didn't want to push Rustan too much so that he would change his mind and leave.

Thez made sure that we didn't get too many missions so that Foster could rest up. I normally missed the action, but right now I didn't mind.

Besides, poker night every night with my boys beats vampire-hunting, hands down.

"I want to make a new bid!" I shouted.

Rustan, Foster, and I were sitting in a circle around the living room table. The three of us had just finished the last game of poker and Foster was now shuffling the cards. Rustan had won the last four games. I was convinced that he was reading Foster's mind to see what cards he had. Cheater.

"You don't have any money left to gamble, idiot. What could you possibly bid?" Rustan asked in a bored voice.

"I bid Foster!" I said, slamming my fist on the table for dramatic effect. "You can have him for breakfast."

"What?! You can't just go and bet - "

"Deal," Rustan said.

I grinned victoriously at Foster, who just gave me a death glare.

"Before I deal the cards, I say we make this game more interesting by - "

"Foster, for the last time, we are not playing strip poker," I stated.

"As eager as we are to see you naked, I'm going to have to side with Chase on this one," Rustan added.

Ladies and gentlemen, Rustan has just made a joke.

Actually, he had been doing that quite often in the past few days. Okay, maybe not that often, but it was a lot for him. But now both Foster and I had gotten used to Rustan's warming up to us. Rustan had a very wry sense of humor, and for some reason, I just found it...funny. Really funny. Almost every word that came out of his mouth now made me burst into giggles.

Yeah, I know, I giggle. Shut up.

Besides, can vampires even have a sense of humor? The first time he ever cracked a joke, I was so unused it I didn’t even realize he was being funny. Afterwards he had been in a bad mood; it was only until later I realized that he was grumpy because I didn't laugh. It was kind of…cute.

Foster pouted, bummed out since Rustan and I both ganged up on him. "Fine," he grumbled moodily, and began dealing the cards.

But we didn't have much time to play, because I heard a shout from Thez' office. "Chase!"

"I didn't do it!" I automatically replied, not even looking up from my cards. "It was Rustan's fault!" I added for good measure.

"No it wasn't," Rustan smoothly said.

"Okay, maybe it wasn't entirely his fault, but he is definitely somewhat responsible," I said.

"No I'm not."

"Okayyy, well it was his idea."

"No it wasn't."

"Fine. So maybe I did do it. But Rustan made me."

"Still no."

"Well you were thinking it, okay?!" I said, now turning to Rustan. He still had the usual calm facade and he didn't even look up as I spoke to him.

"Chaysie Jessica Baker!" Thez shouted again.

"Ooh," I cringed. "Use of the middle name. I'm in trouble."

"Get in here. NOW!"

"And that would be my cue," I finally said, defeated, and I stood up. "Gotta go."

I reluctantly stepped into Thez's office. "...Yes?" I asked in a small voice.

"What is this?" Thez demanded angrily, holding up a stack of official-looking papers.

"I don't know," I said, confused. "You tell me."

"Do you remember when you first started working for D.a.r.c., and you had to fill out a long survey about yourself?"

I groaned. Yes, I remembered it. D.a.r.c. Agents had to fill out an application that covered basically everything about yourself - from your name, age and weight; to your hobbies, likes and dislikes, and even your best childhood memory. Although D.a.r.c. required all of this information, I found a lot of it unnecessary. So when I applied for the job at age seventeen, I had kind of...bullshitted it.

"Well, I was just looking over it," Thez continued, "and it seemed like you didn't answer all of these very truthfully." He handed me the stack of papers and I skimmed over it.

"Could you please clarify which questions you answered honestly, and which ones you pretty much lied about?" Thez asked.

I didn't understand why he was being so serious about it. It's not like all this legal stuff was that important anyway, right? It was only a bunch of official paperwork that would be permanently filed away into my personal record.

I sighed. "Alright, if you say so."

I rummaged through the paper. "Okay, starting on page one...let's see..." I ran my finger down the questions. "Lie, lie, lie...Oh, that one's the truth!...Lie, lie, definite lie...um...The one about my weight I wrote None of your business..."

Thez rolled his eyes. "Just go to the next page," he groaned.

I did so. "Oh, this is all about my sexual orientation and activity. I lied on every single question here," I said happily. “Though I do wish I had hooked up with Brad Pitt…”

He glared at me. "I'm just going to stop here and assume you blew off this entire survey. Is there anything specific you would like to clear up?"

I flipped through the pages. "Ah, here. I should probably clarify this: First of all, my favorite animal is not Pikachu, I do not cook up crack as a past time, and I am not pregnant. Just thought you should know."

"Thank you," Thez said through clenched teeth. "You've probably annoyed me more than you've helped. You can go now."

I left the office, only to find that Foster and Rustan had been eavesdropping. They tried to cover it up by pretending to be in a very intense conversation about the memory of goldfish and how it was comparable to that of my own.

I glared at them. "Quit trying to cover it up, I knew you were listening in," I said.

“We enjoyed your survey,” Rustan smirked.

“I love Brad Pitt,” Foster chimed. I stared at him oddly and pretended I hadn’t heard that.

Rustan gave me a sly smile. "You're a crack dealer?" he inquired.

"You know what, Rustan? Go purple yourself," I shot back.

Foster thought this was very witty of me and he oh-so-kindly started laughing in Rustan's face. Rustan, being the good sport that he always is, responded by punching Foster in the stomach.

"Ladies, play nice!" I scolded.

They both froze and gaped at me. "Please don't tell me you just called us girls," Foster said slowly.

"What's wrong with being a girl?" I asked crossly.

"Everything," the two said in unison.

"Ooh, are you afraid of cooties? Well you're both stupid. Being a girl is so much better," I countered. "It's harder being one, but still it's awesome. You're jealous, don't lie."

Rustan laughed out loud. "What are you talking about? It's so easy being a girl."

"Oh? And how would you know that, Rustan?" I inquired curiously.

"Okay, well it seems easy," he corrected himself.

I shook my head. "Trust me, no it's not."

Let's prove my point, shall we? "Does anyone have an extra tampon I can use?" I asked out of the blue.

I looked at the two of them. "Rustan?" I said hopefully. He just glared. "Okay then. Guess not."

Point proven.
Pink team: 500
Blue team: 0

Foster rolled his eyes. "You're gross, Chase."

Being the mature adult that I am, I responded like this: "Your face is gross."

"Your mom's gross," he shot back.

"Your dad’s gross."

“Your dad’s boyfriend is – ”

"Both of you shut up!" Rustan said, glowering at us.

Suddenly Rustan's phone went off. He picked it up, looked at the screen, and then closed it.

"Ooh, who was that from?" I cooed sarcastically. "Are you flirting with a girl?"

"A girl?" Foster cut in. "I don't think Rustan even talks to girls."

I laughed obnoxiously despite the fact that Foster kind of just insulted me.

"It was only my alarm going off," Rustan growled.

"You don't have a very nice ringtone," I commented. He was using the default ring...you know, the one that actually ringed, rather than played music.

Rustan shrugged. "So sue me."

I grinned maliciously. Before Rustan could even flinch, I had darted towards him and snatched the phone out of his hand. Giggling like an idiot, I moved away from Rustan again, waving the now-stolen phone in his face.

Rustan just rolled his eyes. "Stop acting like you're in kindergarten and give it back."

"No."

I began pressing random buttons, while Rustan became increasingly frustrated and Foster watched in amusement from the safety of the lone corner of the room.

"What are you doing?" Rustan demanded.

"Changing your ringtone," I replied casually. "I was thinking maybe a Hannah Montana song. They suit you pretty well."

"Stop being so immature and leave my phone alone," Rustan growled and ran towards me in a futile attempt to snatch the cellular device from the perils of my button-pressing skills.

I side stepped Rustan's full throttle attack, and he was sent crashing into the wall. But this only made Rustan angrier, and he hurled himself at me again.

Meanwhile, Foster was watching wide-eyed in entertainment, eating some popcorn he had made so he could enjoy the show better.

But no time for focusing on Foster right now - Rustan had launched a full-on tackle, sending us both tumbling to the ground. My physical strength was, unfortunately, no match for his; I knew that he would be able to wrestle the cell phone out of my grip.

And then I decided I would put the phone somewhere Rustan would never be able to get it. Not because he couldn't get it, but because he wouldn't.

I shoved the phone down my shirt.

"Ha!" I yelled triumphantly. "You'll never get it now!"

Rustan, who had basically been sitting in top of me, stared at my phone-filled shirt in dismay. Truly my strategy was ingenious.

But I had made one major mistake. I had underestimated Rustan. Him and his capability of being perverted and downright gross.

Without a moment's hesitation, he reached up my shirt to grab the phone. He got it, all right. He also managed to grab a few other things on the way.

"R-Rustan!" I said, completely shocked, and shoved him off me. "Did you just - feel me up?"

Rustan just smirked.

Pink team: 500
Blue team: 946,589,623,405

From the corner of the room, Foster was laughing hysterically. I threw my shoe at his face so he would shut up. I didn't miss.

"I feel so violated!" I screamed. "That's it - I'm going to bed!"

At that, I stormed off into the room that we were all currently sharing. (D.a.r.c. had only given us two rooms to stay in, and since one was our designated poker room, we only had one room to sleep in.)

Rule #17: Rustan is fucking disgusting.

Okay, so I just made that one up. But still. It was true.

I began to set up my sleeping bag, punching my pillow a few more times than necessary.
Much to my dismay, my alone-time was short lived. Rustan and Foster peeked their heads in through the door, seeing if I was still mad.

I was.

So I threw a few more inanimate objects at their heads.

The boys waited a few more moments to let me cool down before they tried to reenter. "Chase?" Foster squeaked tentatively.

Truly, I must have been a terrible threat - and it was at this precise moment I suddenly became immensely proud of myself. If you're a human that can make a vampire and a werewolf afraid, you know you've done something right.

"Can we come in?"

"No," I said shortly. "I'm a bit busy right now vomiting. Leave a message after the beep."

Foster waited for the beep, but it never came. I heard him sigh in disappointment.

"Please?" he asked again.

"If you put one foot in this room, I will personally remove your large intestine from your stomach and use it to strangle you," I stated casually.

There was a silence; I suppose Foster was trying to envision what it feels like being choked with your digestive organs.

I heard an impatient huff from Rustan. "We're coming in now," he announced and barged through the door. Foster followed close behind, looking shy and afraid. He was clutching his stomach nervously, protecting his large intestine no doubt.

"We're tired too, so we're going to go to bed," Rustan said. Foster nodded feebly. "We'll just set up our stuff on the blue side of the room, if you don't mind, Chase. And stop giving me that look. I'm not a fucking pest."

The next ten minutes was enveloped in silence as the three of us set up our sleeping stuff. When we were finished, Foster turned off the lights, and everything went pitch black. The only sounds heard next were the shuffling of blankets as everyone got comfortable.

Silence.

"Hey, Chase?" came Foster's small voice, which sounded less-gruff than usual. "What if I said I was afraid of the dark?"

I heard them both snicker quietly, muffling their laughs so I wouldn't hear.

Then it hit me - they were making fun of me. I was being ganged up on by two boys and getting teased. The last time this happened to me I was in first grade. I decided to use the same strategy I did when I was seven, and I made the best angry face I could muster. Unfortunately it was too dark for them to see.

"...Chase?" Foster asked again. I heard Rustan laugh again. If I didn't know him any better I would say he was giggling. In a manly, vampire way, of course. But nonetheless giggling.

"Will you keep me company?"

"No."

"Please? Just a little bit of cuddling?"

"No."

"But - "

"No."

"Aww," he said. "But I thought purple was your favorite color?"

"I'm going to sleep now!" I retorted, and rolled over.

Another silence.

"Sweet dreams, Chaysie."

"I hate you."