To Know
Need
I already have the answers that I don’t want. I know for certain only the primary facts of our lives. I know that you are my father; I know that I am your precious, adopted little girl. I know that all of the memories I have of us laughing and smiling are all real. The wants that you made known to me I know. You wanted to be with me on my wedding day and to help raise my grandchildren. To make memories with them like you did with me was your dream.
That’s all the good that my mind knows for certain. This is when the bad times start crashing down and these events for certain occurred. You died. It was April 25, 2009. I hadn’t seen you in a week or so because you were in the hospital. You had cancer and the medicine intended to cure you killed you. My heart knows that it’s not fair.
I’ll always have the memories of you that were good, but this is the only thing I remember that was bad. I thought nothing bad happened to us, but when I was younger the cancer came back. You told me this and I know it to be true. I was three years old and you were already told you would only live until about then. You fought the cancer had like I know you do and lived until I was 14 years old.
I know that I wanted you to be around longer as my dad. It’s taken me a long time to know that it wasn’t anything I did or anything you did wrong, it was just life running its course. I never went to the hospital. I know that is my life’s greatest regret. So far in my 17 years I can say that you dying was the worst thing that could have happened to me.
For the rest of my life I will know that you are not physically here with me. Some things we’re meant to know.
That’s all the good that my mind knows for certain. This is when the bad times start crashing down and these events for certain occurred. You died. It was April 25, 2009. I hadn’t seen you in a week or so because you were in the hospital. You had cancer and the medicine intended to cure you killed you. My heart knows that it’s not fair.
I’ll always have the memories of you that were good, but this is the only thing I remember that was bad. I thought nothing bad happened to us, but when I was younger the cancer came back. You told me this and I know it to be true. I was three years old and you were already told you would only live until about then. You fought the cancer had like I know you do and lived until I was 14 years old.
I know that I wanted you to be around longer as my dad. It’s taken me a long time to know that it wasn’t anything I did or anything you did wrong, it was just life running its course. I never went to the hospital. I know that is my life’s greatest regret. So far in my 17 years I can say that you dying was the worst thing that could have happened to me.
For the rest of my life I will know that you are not physically here with me. Some things we’re meant to know.