White Walls

4 Years Later

“Happy birthday to Phoebe! Happy birthday to you!”

The birthday girl giggled before hiding her face in John’s chest as we all sang to her.

“Come on Pheebs, blow your candles out!” John cooed, leaning down so she was hovering over her cake. She was a shy little girl and often wouldn’t do things unless John did them with her. That included going down the slide at the park. “Ready?”

Phoebe took a deep breath before blowing out her candles, clapping her hands together in excitement as they went out. “I did it daddy!”

I couldn’t help but laugh, rubbing her back. “Happy birthday baby.”

“Cake now mommy!” Phoebe giggled, covering her eyes as she fell back into John’s chest.

“What do you say first?” John tested, sending his tiara-wearing daughter a stern look.

“Pweeaassseee?”

“Close enough,” John chuckled, kissing her forehead. “Mama, the princess wants her cake now.”

“So do I!” Lucas claimed, raising his hand above his head in excitement.

“Alright, alright,” I laughed, beginning to cut the cake. “And does daddy want a piece?” I teased, looking over at John with a wink.

“Yes. Yes he does.” He nodded quickly. I blushed as I felt his foot caressing mine under the table. Almost ten years together (four of those married) and he still had the hots for me. It really was a miracle after having two kids.

I cut up the cake and handed them out before taking a piece myself and sitting back in my chair, just happy to take the moment in. Right now this was the calm before the storm; later on we were having a party for our big four year old, which included friends and family. There were quite a few kids among our good ol’ gang now and they all got along just like we did; like family.

Of course there was Alexandra, who was now a crazy five years old. It was insane to think only a few short years ago, I was feeding her spoonfuls of mushy peas and now she was becoming her own little person. She had so much of both Austin and Hilary in her personality, it was uncanny. Speaking of her parents, it was no secret (that they were trying to keep secret) that they’d been getting closer. Hilary had mentioned to me (and me only) that he’d taken her out to dinner a few times and they’d actually had a good time. They’d been on and off for the past few years, having trouble raising their daughter apart but managing to get through most of their problems. She was adamant about not fixing their marriage, and they seemed to be happy just casually dating. Things don’t always turn out how you’d expect them too, but it seemed like things for them had turned out for the better. They weren’t as ready for a marriage as they thought and that was okay; taking it one step at a time seemed to be working for them much better than sharing a last name ever had.

Eric and Jac had also finally added a plus one to their little family. Due to Eric being unable to have kids of his own, he and Jac had gone through all of their options before settling on adopting a child. It obviously wasn’t the same as having a child of your own, but Jac didn’t want to get a sperm donor because if she was going to give birth to a child, she said she wanted it to be half hers and half Eric’s, not half some random guys’ that she didn’t know. I thought it was admirable, how loyal her choice was, considering it was sacrificing something she’s wanted for years. Regardless, they were wrapped with their six year old daughter, April. They’d adopted her when she was only two years old, after she’d been abandoned by her drug addict parents. April was destined to have a horrible life ahead of her, but Eric and Jac saved her from that and truly loved her as their own. She even called them ‘mom’ and ‘dad’ and the smiles on their faces every time they heard those words were priceless.

Lydia, Parker and Ashley were also all expecting babies. The hormones around the place were insane right now, with each of the girls due within a month of eachother. Lydia was two months away, Parker three, and Ashley four.

Lydia and Kennedy were expecting a little boy, regardless of the fact that they weren’t married. I remember the day Lyd came to me in hysterics because she thought Kennedy would bail on her and freak out about it. I thought it was hilarious because they were one of the most down to earth couples I’d ever met and there was no way Kennedy would leave her if she got pregnant. Obviously I was right; he was just as stoked as she now was and they couldn’t wait to be parents. I think they’d taken note of how much we all seemed to enjoy it and how rewarding it could be. I’d take these days over the days without Phoebe and Lucas every single time.

This was Parker and Jared’s second attempt at having a second child after a sad miscarriage two years ago. It was a lot for the two to get through, while Scarlett was so young, but being the passionate, loving couple they were, they pulled through it and gave themselves some time to recover before trying again. So far, so good. They didn’t want to know what they were having, as did Ashley and Tim. Those two had gotten married a year after John and I did, and I was so happy for the two of them, considering Tim had put so much of his attention and focus into 8123, and now that he was taking a step back (I was taking a step forward and co-managing 8123 with him) he had more time to focus on his family. I know it was a godsend for Ashley, who had been waiting patiently and supportively by his side for the past couple of years.

So there has definitely been a lot of baby-making in our camp the past couple of months for sure. As for me and John? We were satisfied with our two, and didn’t plan on having any more (but then again, neither of our kids were planned so who knew). John was an amazing father with Phoebe, our first daughter. She was a real daddy’s girl, and Lucas was a total mama’s boy, just like John had been when he was younger. He was great with both Lucas and Phoebe and I was proud to say he’d seemed to figure most of it out on his own. He’d really stepped up and taken on parenting the past couple of years as the boys toured less but wrote more. They’d all wanted to take some time to be with their families but were furiously writing new music every single day. After three years of no touring, they were set to head out this fall in order to support their latest album they’d just released. For once, we had a healthy routine with his career and I wasn’t having anxiety attacks over him being gone weeks at a time. Like I’d said; we were much better now.

Both our parents had recently celebrated thirty years of marriage and were happier than ever. It really was incredibly humbling to be able to look up to relationships as strong as theirs and know that if we could do what they did, we’d be okay to.

Ross and his wife were also expecting another child, now that Jonah was ten years old. They were going great too, and we caught up with them a lot more often now that they’d moved closer to John’s parents as opposed to an hour and a half away. Shane hadn’t really settled down, which didn’t really surprise us; he wasn’t looking for a wife yet nor kids. He wasn’t like Ross and John and that was okay. Fortunately for him, Jenny had accepted that she may never get kids from Shane and she was okay with that. She and Jay cherished the grandkids they did have, as did my parents.

As for my career, like I’d said before, I’d moved on up in the management department and now co-managed 8123 with Tim. I’d left my position as head of merchandising to Lennon, because I thought he was the most repsonsible person to take on the position, but still managed my own clothing line within the brand. Fashion was still one of my bigger passions and I was learning to maintain both jobs. When Tim had asked me to manage 8123 with him, he insisted it was only time that it would happen, and that he’d planned it months ago. I never thought I’d play a role so important to 8123 but was more than grateful.

It seemed like in almost every aspect of my life and those around me, that nothing has turned out the way you’d expected it to; but it all turned out for the better. We were good. We were happy and healthy and that was all that mattered. After spending so long trudging through the dark side, we’d finally made it to the light.

“Leighton, she wants you,” John smiled softly, handing Phoebe to me. “She’s a total mama’s girl today.”

I couldn’t help but smile as Phoebe wrapped her little arms around me. My little girl. “Hey baby, did you like your cake?” I cooed, looking at her adorable face. She had John’s eyes, and they were gorgeous.

“Yes mommy, thank you!” She giggled, giving me a sloppy kiss on the cheek. “I love you!”

“I love you too baby girl,” I chuckled, before looking at her brother. He was no longer a little boy, and while it saddened me, I loved seeing him turning more and more into his father each day; it was like getting an exclusive look into John’s childhood, one I hadn’t been there for. “What about you, Luke?”

He smiled, a mouth full of cake. “It’s good.”

“You’re such a mess, Luke.” John laughed, handing him a napkin.

“Am not!” Lucas (no matter how much he prefered ‘Luke’, he’d always be Lucas in my head. It kept him young in my eyes and that was what I needed) whined, a smirk tugging at his thin lips, ones he’d inherited from his father.

“Cake’s great babe, as always,” John chuckled, leaning over to kiss me softly as the kids wehnt back to focus on their cake. It really is crazy where you end up. Had you told me years ago that I’d be sitting our kitchen table on a bright Saturday morning with my two kid and my gorgeous husband, I would have laughed in your face. Now, I couldn’t be more happier. I had everything I could ever want. Most of all, I had John back. I had the man I fell in love with that very first day in 8123. “You realise somethin’?.” He whispered in my ear.

“What’s that?” I murmured, looking him in the eyes, unable to stop the smile on my lips.

“After all these years, we still have each other. You know why that is?” He asked softly, his eyes constantly flickering down to my lips. He was perfect. I loved this man.

“I think I might have a clue,” I nodded quietly. “Something to do with not giving up, is it?”

“The one promise we’ve been able to keep for the past decade has been the one thing that’s pulled us through to this very day.” He nodded, looking at our kids happily. “And I couldn’t be more grateful for it.”

I smiled, looking down at my wedding ring. He was so right. “Me neither. I love you John.”

“I love you too, darlin’. Always have, always will.”

Here’s to us, and this love we’ve earned. Here’s to the next thirty years, and a thousand more to come.

Here’s to never giving up.