Reincarnation

I barely remember what happened; I felt at peace for once and warm. Hunger and thirst mean nothing to me anymore and I was often lulled to sleep before I could form any coherent thoughts, this strange existence of on and off awareness left me feeling content. This was what I had imagined death to be like.

All too soon in my opinion, it was over and I remember being squeezed and moved around my warm, if slightly cramped space and the sensation of being pushed through a garden hose before my eyes opened to something besides darkness. Blinding light scorched my eyes and just as someone spanked the back of my thighs, I wailed in pain and confusion.

My body felt so god-damned SENSITIVE and oh dear Lord the noise! My ears hurt from the beeping and people chatting excitedly made my eyes ring and hurt!

I was being carried around by giant hands as I was washed before being wrapped in what felt like a towel before I was passed to another giant and I immediately voiced my displeasure in being moved and jostled around like a sack of potatoes.

That was when I heard her. Her voice was smooth and sweet like honey and as I opened my eyes to find the source of the noise and I caught the sight of the giant holding me; her face was blurry but I caught the sight of long dark hair with tanned skin and the two dark dots on her face I immediately recognized as eyes.

My body reacted of it’s own accord and a baby-like giggle escaped my mouth. Her voice filled with happiness as she spoke to me and soon before I knew it, my body moved again at it’s own accord and started to suckle at her exposed breast.

That was when it hit me; I was stuck in a baby's body.

Well fuck.

~

It wasn’t until I turned to three months old that I started to think in more than simple sentences for more than five minutes at a time. It turned out that the body I was possessing needed mental development as well as physical; sometimes my body acted of it’s own accord but far less than it used to.

I could also see a lot clearer than I used to as well and I could finally see my new parents properly; Mother was very beautiful with dark hair, tanned skin and dark eyes, she looked foreign and the music she would have her and I listen to seemed to prove that, sometimes she spoke it. She looked like a young model with large eyes, full lips and straight, petite nose.

Being the vain twat I am, hoped I would get her looks in this life.

Father on the other hand, had honey blond hair and bright blue eyes with skin so pale I often wondered if he wore a cape all year round to keep it that pale. His voice was deep and he had laugh lines around his eyes, he was a cheerful fellow with a large hooked nose. I prayed that I wouldn’t inherit his nose.

I couldn’t see what I looked like; Mother hadn't left me around any mirrors to give me a chance to see what I looked like. I had dark hair though from the little wisps I could see that would occasionally hang into my eyes but mine was a chocolate brown rather than mother’s near black colour and my skin was lighter than hers although no-where near as pale as Father’s.

~

It wasn’t until I was 6 months that I could really see what I looked like; I had a mixture of my parent’s features. I had my mother’s dark hair, blue eyes like Father and a mix of their skin tone. I had a similar face shape as Mother, especially her lips. I unfortunately seemed to have a nose similar to my father’s, although with how pudgy my baby body was, I wasn’t entirely sure.

I tried not to think too much of it though, I was a baby now, so it all may change as I grow up. Thank goodness the teething time was almost finished, it’s bloody painful!

~

It wasn’t until I was 9 months that I was introduced to others my age, a set of twins named Bill and Tom Kaulitz. Both were giggling away as they squeezed a rubber duck to make it squeak and quack. Mother had left me with her friend Simone whilst she had to get back to work, or so I assumed.

The new language I had to learn was what I learned was German, I figured it out when I was four months old when dad had dropped a pan on his foot and yelled “Scheiße!” Mother hadn’t been pleased.

I learned a some German words, like what “juice” meant and a few simple sentences but nothing complicated yet. Mother and Father had been trying to get me to learn how to speak, and my first word had been “Mutter” which had made Mother cry in happiness. Father had been more reserved when I learned how to say “Vater” but it was easy to see how happy he was.

Bill and Tom had been very entertaining when they fought over the rubber duck, Simone had been very nice when she tried to feed me and she had only laughed when I refused to eat the baby rice with strawberries. Even in this life I hated strawberries.

~

It wasn’t until I hit one year and five months that I started to attempt to talk in proper sentences, this had been the age my nephew in my last life had started to talk if I remember right.

As time went by, more and more of my memories started to fade, like when the twin towers were hit or when England had held the Olympic games or what the lyrics to some of the most annoying songs and the time had been.

Little things started to fade away like sand slipping through my fingers and it terrified me.

“I want juice Mother!” I called out to Mother with the puppy eyes and she easily gave in, much to my pleasure. I never liked black current juice in my last life, but I loved it in this one. It often made me feel sad that I had changed so much from my past life, but it there was little I could do about it.

My gut still twisted with guilt at every reminder, no matter what I tell myself.

~

By two years old, the twins and I could talk properly.

We often played with this rubber bouncy ball when we were together, whether we were at my house or theirs. They were adorable in the way they pouted whenever I would win whatever game we were playing.

However, they often talked to each other in this strange babble-like language I couldn’t comprehend whenever they wanted only the other to understand what they wanted to say, it often left me confused and a little left out.

It was silly of course, I was a twenty year old woman in the body of a baby and it was silly to feel left out because of a set of two-year old twins’ babble language. Regardless of what I told myself, I did.