Waves
The Body Aches
I sat as the sun rose over the horizon, the rising rays warming my cold bones. The waves crashed against the shores releasing my body’s tension. Another night wasted. I didn’t sleep anymore. I didn’t do much of anything anymore if I was going to be perfectly honest with myself. I was eighteen when I went in, just days from having my name removed altogether. That was two games ago, I’m almost 21 now.
“Gaia” I glanced at him before returning to the risen sun. I stayed silent as her sat in the damp sand beside me. “Gaia”, He spoke again.
“When did you get back?” I asked quietly.
I could see his brow furrowing in my periphery, “Gaia, I was never gone. You checked out.”
I shrugged weakly, “Do you think they’ll kill her?”
“Today?”
“Any day really, she’s not exactly making anything easier for Snow.”
“They won’t…at least not anytime soon. They’ll make her out to be a martyr if anything.” He said with a heavy sigh. “Gaia, where have you been? Annie and Terra say they haven’t seen you in two days.”
Distancing myself” I replied plainly. The truth was as much as I tried to distance myself from it all, I couldn’t. The more I tried to avoid it, the more it appeared. In my dreams, on television, in the conversations I had with myself.
Again he sighed heavily, “Gaia…”
“What Finnick?” I snapped, “What do you want me to do? Tomorrow, I have to stand in front of Lilith and Anthias’s families and say what? I’m sorry I didn’t help your children? I couldn’t save them and it’s my fault they died?”
“If it helps.”
“Well it doesn’t help me and it never will.”
“We can’t save them all.”
I tucked my knees under my chin and stayed silent. Finnick had saved me, with all his might he made sure that Kai and I had everything to win. The right sponsors, the right stylists, everything. Whether he believed either of us could actually win he still tried his damnedest. Because of his popularity, I had won. Then there was Annie, silent, sweet Annie. Even though she has lost it after her games, she was still there for me during mine. These two bonds were very different than anything I had ever experienced in my life. My mother and father had renounced me after my games, I don’t blame them. They lost too much when I returned from the games.
“You saved me.”
“You were different.”
“Gaia” I glanced at him before returning to the risen sun. I stayed silent as her sat in the damp sand beside me. “Gaia”, He spoke again.
“When did you get back?” I asked quietly.
I could see his brow furrowing in my periphery, “Gaia, I was never gone. You checked out.”
I shrugged weakly, “Do you think they’ll kill her?”
“Today?”
“Any day really, she’s not exactly making anything easier for Snow.”
“They won’t…at least not anytime soon. They’ll make her out to be a martyr if anything.” He said with a heavy sigh. “Gaia, where have you been? Annie and Terra say they haven’t seen you in two days.”
Distancing myself” I replied plainly. The truth was as much as I tried to distance myself from it all, I couldn’t. The more I tried to avoid it, the more it appeared. In my dreams, on television, in the conversations I had with myself.
Again he sighed heavily, “Gaia…”
“What Finnick?” I snapped, “What do you want me to do? Tomorrow, I have to stand in front of Lilith and Anthias’s families and say what? I’m sorry I didn’t help your children? I couldn’t save them and it’s my fault they died?”
“If it helps.”
“Well it doesn’t help me and it never will.”
“We can’t save them all.”
I tucked my knees under my chin and stayed silent. Finnick had saved me, with all his might he made sure that Kai and I had everything to win. The right sponsors, the right stylists, everything. Whether he believed either of us could actually win he still tried his damnedest. Because of his popularity, I had won. Then there was Annie, silent, sweet Annie. Even though she has lost it after her games, she was still there for me during mine. These two bonds were very different than anything I had ever experienced in my life. My mother and father had renounced me after my games, I don’t blame them. They lost too much when I returned from the games.
“You saved me.”
“You were different.”
♠ ♠ ♠
I know it's short! The next one will be longer! This conversation is literally about two things under the mask of one. Kind of like an allegory. Tell me what you think!xx