Collide With This Guy

Later that night, I still hadn’t heard a single word, which kind of had me worried. I mean, I guess it shouldn’t have been a big deal right? There was no reason Kellin should have gotten in trouble or whatever. He hadn’t even done anything wrong.

If anyone needed disciplining, it should have been Jaime for a being an ass. Who did he think he was doing all of this to Kellin? Kellin barely even knew the guy, so there was no way he could have really done anything to piss him off, right?

I was lying on my bed, steno pad propped against my thighs as I scribbled down lyrics and whatnot that came to mind. I really needed to stop writing songs about Jaime, but I just couldn’t get it out of my system. I was still so mad at him for turning on me. I was even madder that he was still harassing me about it. Even more so, I was pissed that he was messing with Kellin. I needed some sort of outlet to feel like I was at least trying to get back at him.

I didn’t want to hurt Jaime necessarily; I just wanted him to just stop pushing me around so it would be easier to move on. I was completely moved on from my silly little crush, but I was nowhere near over our shattered friendship.

Please, won’t you push me for the last time?

I scribbled the little sentence down. I was about to write another when I heard a tapping on my window. I rolled my eyes. Why the hell was Mike out on a Monday night? I set my note pad down and walked over to the window, expecting to find my intoxicated brother barely hanging from a tree branch.

That being said, I was incredibly surprised to find that it was not Mike who was out there- It was Kellin.

I slid the window up as quickly as I could and pulled him inside.

“Holy shit, what are you doing out there?” I asked, as he got to his feet. I closed the window and the curtains along with it.

“Vic, I can’t stay there tonight,” he said, sounding shaken up. It was then that I noticed his face was red and puffy, like he’d been crying or something. I was about to reach for him, but I didn’t have to, because he was clinging to me before I could even blink. He wrapped his arms around my waist and buried his face in my shoulder.

“Calm down,” I said softly, holding him in place as I rubbed his back. I was trying to be comforting, even though I had no idea what was going on. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

I led him over to my bed and sat him down across from me.

“Th- they won’t stop,” he sobbed, covering his face with his hands.

“Who? What happened?” I wanted to know.

“My parents,” he said sadly. “They just keep yelling at each other and they won’t stop. I don’t even think they noticed that I left.”

So his parents really did have issues- just not really the kind I was expecting. I didn’t notice anything off about his mom and dad when I first met them, but who knows. A lot of people are scary good at hiding those kinds of things.

“What are they yelling about?” I asked, cautiously. I knew he was my boyfriend and all, but we had only just gotten together and I still wasn’t sure where certain boundaries were.

“Well, it started out with my mom wanting to sit down and talk as a family about bullying and stuff… and then it led to my dad getting mad and saying that I needed to learn how to stand up for myself. And then they got into a big fight, and started yelling about who knew what was best for me – I just needed to get away,” he said, sadly. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize, come here,” I said, holding my arms out to him. He scooted closer and I pulled him closer to me so that he was sitting in my lap. He let out a long sigh and rested his head against my shoulder. “Do they do that a lot?”

“Since we moved, yeah,” he said quietly. “I don’t … I get the feeling that they don’t love each other anymore. It’s really sad.”

“That’s rough,” I said, though I really didn’t know the right words. I had no idea what it was like to have parents who fought. My parents were always pretty happy. They only argued on a normal level about trivial things. It may not have seemed like it on the outside, but our family was pretty close.

“It’s not just that though … I feel like my mom is like controlling me on purpose,” he said, a little more angry than before.

“Maybe she’s afraid of losing you?” I suggested, then immediately wished I hadn’t said anything. Kellin hadn’t said they were getting a divorce. I felt bad for bringing it up.

“I don’t want to talk about it anymore,” he said, defensively. I knew I had hit a nerve. I kissed his cheek and held him tighter.

“I’m sorry,” I sighed.

“Were you working on a song?” he asked, changing the subject when he noticed my note book sitting on the bed.

“Uh, kind of,” I shrugged. He picked up the paper and looked it over.

“What’s it about?” he asked. I shrugged, but he looked up at me, this knowing look on his face. He didn’t look all too happy about it either. “It’s another one about Jaime, isn’t it?”

“Maybe … don’t be mad, it’s not like they’re love songs or anything,” I snapped, maybe a little icier than I had intended.

“I know, it just upsets me that he’s so mean to you, and it’s obviously really affected you,” he said, softly. I smiled at that. It felt really good to know that Kellin cared about me.

“Well, I don’t like it that he’s a jerk to you, either,” I added. “You should help me write this one.”

“I don’t write songs,” he pointed out.

“Sure you do,” I said, pushing my pencil into his hand. “Have a go.”

He adjusted in my lap so that his back as against mine. He leaned against me as he put the pencil to paper.

“How do I even start?” he wanted to know.

“Just do whatever comes to mind. Whatever feels right,” I suggested. “That’s what I do. I write down whatever pops into my head, and then later I can weed out the stuff I don’t like, you know?”

“Okay,” he shrugged. I leaned back on my hands as he started to write. He told me not to look over his shoulder, so I didn’t. I just sat there, admiring him from behind. He was too perfect. The way his dark hair waved around his neck, the way his slender form hunched over the paper as he wrote. I could tell he was deep in thought, even without being able to see his face.

“Here,” he said after a while. “It’s not very good?”

“I’m sure you’re fine,” I said, taking the steno pad from him. I glanced down at the paper, seeing that he had just added a bit to what I had written before.

Please won’t you push me for the last time? Let’s scream until there’s nothing left. So sick of playing, I don’t want this anymore. The thought of you is not really fun.

“I like it,” I said. “Um, except the last part.”

“What’s wrong with it,” he wanted to know. “I thought it would flow better than just saying ‘no fun’.”

“Hmm,” I said, then got an idea. I erased the ‘not really fun’ and wrote ‘no fucking fun’ in its place. “There.”

“Uh … oh,” he said, looking a little uncomfortable.

“Oh, right, I forgot. That’s a bad word, huh?” I asked, smirking. He rolled his eyes and turned to face me.

“No,” he said, in his defense.

“Then say it,” I urged. I had this stupid grin across my face, I couldn’t even imagine him swearing, it was just so out of character for him.

“Fuck,” he said, barely above a whisper.

“I can’t hear you,” I teased.

“Fuck,” he repeated, a little louder this time. I could clearly hear him, but I felt like messing with him a little, so I played it off like I still couldn’t.

“Wow, Kells, I guess you can’t say it,” I chuckled.

“Fuck!” He shouted, catching me off guard. He stood up on the bed, looking down at me. “Fuck this! Fuck everything!”

I stood up on the bed, facing him. I jumped, causing him to lose his balance. He regained his footing and gave me this cute little glare.

“Fuck you,” he spat, then burst into laughter. There’s that smile.

“Excuse me, Mr. Quinn, but that is highly inappropriate,” I said, in a comically deep voice. He shrugged.

“I don’t care!” he squeaked. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK-“

He kept saying it over and over again as we both bounced up and down on my bed. We only stopped when my door swung open.

“What on earth is going on in here?” my mom wanted to know as she appeared in my doorway. Kellin immediately stopped jumping and sat down on my bed, like he was about to be in trouble or something.

“We’re jumping on the bed and yelling profanities,” I informed her.

“I can hear that- keep it down,” she said. “When did Kellin get here?”

“Uh, a little while ago. He’s spending the night,” I told her. She shrugged.

“Well, that’s fine, just make sure you get your homework done and Vic?” she asked.

“Yeah?”

“Get down from there and shut up,” she said, smiling and shaking her head.

“Yep,” I said, dropping into a sitting position. She let out an exasperated sigh as if to say ‘what am I going to do with you?’ before stepping out of the room and closing the door behind her.

“Holy cow,” he breathed. “She wasn’t even mad.”

“Nope,” I said. “And did you really just say holy cow after all of that?”

“Uh … holy fuck?”

“Almost,” I laughed, leaning in to kiss him. When he kissed me back, I could feel him smiling against me. Even if I couldn’t make his problems go away, at least I could make him smile.