Collide With This Guy

I don’t know how I did it, but I made it to graduation. I had just barely passed my classes, what with all of the shit that happened. People looked at me differently at school because of that stupid fucking label. None of them knew the real story though. It was so stupid.
“Dude, you can’t even smile now that we’re graduating?” Jack asked me, as we stood in the hallway at school before the ceremony. I just shrugged.
“I can’t wait to get out of here,” I sighed. Luckily I still had Jack. He knew what happened because I told him everything. He knew I wasn’t some sick creep. He knew that I had been completely fucked over.
“Then smile,” he reminded me. I smiled a huge, but mostly fake smile and he shook his head. “Not good enough.”
“Whatever,” I said, shaking my own head. “I just want to get this over with.”
And so we did. In the next few minutes, we lined up in alphabetical order before filing into the auditorium. As we did I tried not to think about the fact that the last time I bothered to be in the auditorium was when I performed with Kellin. I pushed the memories away, but they still kept trying to stick. I was mad at him for what he did, but I was mostly just sad. I really, genuinely meant it when I told him I loved him, and I felt betrayed.
The ceremony was longer than it needed to be, and I crossed the stage and accepted my diploma without any issue. I could see my parents and Mike sitting in the audience, clapping for me as I crossed. Thank God for them, really. I wasn’t sure why I had been so afraid to tell my parents anything regarding my sexuality. They were so accepting and understanding and it was exactly what I needed from them.
Despite my overwhelming support from my family, and from Jack, I still felt empty. A big part of me still wanted Kellin. I kept imagining him showing up at my doorstep and apologizing and then everything would go back to normal. I kept looking over at his old house, like I expected to see him. I knew I wouldn’t though- some other family lived there now.
After the graduation ceremony, I exited the auditorium with my classmates. My mom had texted me and told me to meet her in the parking lot, so I turned down the hallway to go that way. I texted her that I would be right there, then slid my phone into my back pocket and looked up.
I saw Jaime and Rian talking to a couple of their friends. I made this brief eye contact with Jaime, but looked away immediately and picked up my pace. I hadn’t spoken to him since that day when he kissed me, but he had stuck to his word about leaving me alone. Either way, he still made me uncomfortable.
“Hey, Fuentes,” I heard him call out once I had passed their group. I sighed and turned around. Rian and the rest of them were already walking off in the opposite direction, and Jaime was jogging over to me. What did he want?
“What?” I said, in a dull voice.
“Can I talk to you for a minute?” he asked. I shrugged. “I just . . . wanted to apologize.”
“You do?” I asked, surprised.
“Yeah, I mean . . . how do I say this? I was an ass and I was dealing with my own shit- which I told you about,” he said. I recalled how he had told me he was looking at gay porn and his parents found out.
“Has that gotten any better?” I asked, offering at least a bit of sincerity since he was being nice to me for the first time in almost a year.
“A little,” he shrugged. “It’ll take some time, but I just . . . “
“What?”
“Give me your hand,” he said, pulling a pen out of his pocket. I was a little hesitant, but I held my hand out anyway. He grabbed it and began scribbling something down over the back of my hand. When he was done, he let go of me and I glanced down at my hand.
“Your phone number?” I asked, raising an eyebrow. What?
“Yeah, I just . . . maybe we can start over, you know?” he shrugged.
“Why do you want to start over now, of all times?”
“I figure, fuck what anyone says. We’re officially out of this hell hole now, so why not? Who knows what’ll happen?” he shrugged, adding a wink. That surprised me, too. Was he . . . was he flirting with me? I sighed outwardly.
“I don’t know what your intentions are . . . but if you’re trying to make something happen between us, I’m required to let you know that I’m a registered sex offender,” I said, almost robotically. I was surprised to see that Jaime actually laughed at that.
“I heard about that,” he chuckled. “What happened?”
“Statutory rape,” I said, lowering my voice. “It’s not as bad as it sounds though, he was sixteen at the time.”
“That Kellin guy, right? Whatever happened to him?” he wanted to know.
“He moved- I don’t want to talk about it,” I sighed. He nodded, seemingly understanding. “Well, it was good talking to you again. I have to get out to see my family.”
“Of course,” he said, flashing me a smile. I said goodbye to him and continued on my way. My mom hugged and kissed my face as soon as she saw me, claiming that she was so proud of my accomplishments or whatever. We went out to dinner and that was nice.
I had the entire summer to do whatever before I went to college. The college I was going to wasn’t very far, but I would still be staying in a dorm rather than commuting. I was really hoping that college would hold something way better than high school did. I started thinking about fresh starts and it reminded me of what Jaime said.
As I lay on my bed that night, I pulled out my phone and texted the number he had written on my hand. Maybe he was right. Maybe something would come out of this- I just hoped it would be enough to finally get me out of this slump.