Collide With This Guy

I finally caved and allowed myself to befriend Kellin Quinn. I was pretty much stuck seeing him every day, so why not? In those next few weeks, I sat with him at lunch every day, and would see him at home a few times a week when I’d be out getting the mail or something. I think by then it was safe to call him a friend, though I went a little out of my way to pretend like I didn’t care. I made fun of him constantly, but I think we both knew that was just in good fun.

I don’t know what it was, but there was something about hearing Kellin’s singing voice that just really got me going. I was writing songs left and write, and I couldn’t decide which one I wanted to play first.

It had been a few weeks since that day, and I had finally decided on a song I wanted to try. I picked up my acoustic guitar for the first time in God knows how long and started strumming to how I wanted the song to go. It was one I had written about Jaime, to be completely honest. There was a time when I really thought we were close, but no. I thought he wouldn’t ever judge me, but I guess that was all just some big front. He was actually just a big dick head.

“So tell me how does it feel? How does it feel to be like you? I think your mouth should be quiet, ‘cause it never tells the truth,” I sang as I made a note of something on a piece of paper. I liked it, but it just didn’t feel right.

I kept playing it over and over again until Mike banged on my door.

“Shut the fuck up,” he shouted, through my door. Oops. I forgot that the walls in my room were more or less paper thin, and that he could probably hear me singing and playing the same lines over and over again. How embarrassing, considering the number of times I had screwed up.

“Fine, I’ll stop then,” I snapped, setting the guitar down. Then it suddenly hit me, and I realized why the song sounded so bad- it was because I had written it with Kellin’s voice in mind. Holy shit, it’s perfect, I thought to myself as I grabbed my phone from my desk where it was charging. I scrolled through my contacts until I got to Kellin’s name and hit the call button.

“Hello?” he said into the phone, sounding a bit confused. I don’t think I had ever actually called him before that. I brushed it off, because that didn’t really matter. I had a great idea and I needed him in order to follow through with it.

“Are you at home right now?” I asked him.

“Yeah,” he said, quietly.

“Come over,” I said. It came out as more of a demand than an invitation, but whatever.

“I can’t, I’m studying,” he said, lowering his voice even more. I rolled my eyes. “I’m not even supposed to be on the phone right now.”

“Ooh, you’re such a rebel,” I teased. “Sneak out.”

“I can’t!” he gasped, as if it were the most preposterous thing he had ever heard of. I guess it would have been a bad idea for him, though, considering how controlling his mom was. I told myself I would have to attempt to break him of that.

“Fine, just know you’re missing out-“

“Gotta go, I’ll text you,” he cut me off, and then suddenly the call was disconnected. I removed the phone from my ear and stared at the screen, wondering what had happened. I sighed and was about to put my phone back, when it buzzed again.

Sorry, my mom came in the room.

I chuckled and shook my head, even though I knew he couldn’t see me. I texted him back,

Lol okay.

Why did you want me to come over?

I’ll tell you tomorrow

I sighed and finally put my phone back, even though I was a little disappointed. I really wanted to hear Kellin sing the song, but I guessed it was going to have to wait.

However, the next day at school, I was practically ready to explode with anticipation. I was so excited that I ran into the cafeteria and sat down quicker than I usually did, eagerly awaiting Kellin. He came in at scheduled time, but I noticed right away that something was wrong, because he had entered the cafeteria with Jaime. Fuck.

I bit my lip, now anxious for a whole other reason. Why the fuck was he talking to Jaime? Last time I checked, Jaime was a dick to Kellin, too, so they shouldn’t have had any reason for casual conversation. Suddenly Kellin stopped, his eyes meeting mine from about twenty feet away, then he looked back at Jaime, who just shrugged. Jaime then split from him, and Kellin hesitated a bit before finally making his way over to me.

“Um what was that about?” I asked, as he sat down. He looked a little nervous.

“H-he was just … telling me things,” he said, and my stomach twisted a bit. I had a bad feeling about what Jaime had told him.

“What kind of things?” I asked, cautiously.

“I don’t …I don’t know if it’s true or not, but he told me that you …He said the reason he didn’t get along with you was because you tried to, um, force him to have sex with you,” he said, almost whispering the word ‘sex’. I felt my blood boil, outraged.

“That fucking liar!” I shouted, standing up as I slammed my fist against the table. “I’m going to punch him in the fucking teeth.”

“No you’re not!” Kellin said, sharply, grabbing my arm and pulling back down to a seated position. I was so ready to just storm right over to Jaime and give him a piece of my mind, but I suddenly found the fact that Kellin had just grabbed me by the arm to be far more interesting.

“You can’t possibly believe that, do you?” I demanded to know, still angry. I didn’t know it was even possible to hate Jaime more than I did in that moment.

“No, I didn’t, but I thought I’d ask,” He shrugged, which calmed me down a bit. “But I do have to ask … what happened? I mean, surely they have a reason for targeting you like this. I mean, the only other person I see them messing with is me, and that’s only because I talk to you.”

I rolled my eyes, about to check out of this conversation. As far as I knew, Kellin still had no idea that I was even gay. I was really afraid of his reaction, but I guess I couldn’t hide it from him forever, right? I assumed it would be better to get the awkwardness over and done with so I could move on with my life if I needed to.

“Um,” I said, not really knowing where to start. “Just as a warning you’re probably gonna freak out.”

“Why?” he wanted to know, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion. I had to look away from that, because pretty face was incredibly distracting.

“Well …” I took a deep breath and just let it out, “Long story short, I used to have a huge crush on Jaime and he found out.”

I winced, expecting some horrified gasp or something, but it never came. I looked over at him, but he didn’t seem fazed by my proclamation.

“Are you gay?” he asked, but it sounded less judgmental and more like he was just trying to get his facts straight. I glanced around me nervously before nodding. “That’s a terrible reason to pick on you.”

“Yeah,” I said, trying to hide how relieved I was that he didn’t seem to care about my sexuality.

“So what was it you were calling about last night?” he asked, quickly changing the subject. I brightened a little, remembering how excited I was about the song.

“Oh, right,” I said, “I was going to ask you if you would sing a song with me.”

“What song?” He gave me a curious look. I glanced awkwardly at my lunch, a little embarrassed to say what it was.

“My song,” I said. His eyebrows went all the way up.

“You wrote a song?”

“Yeah, but I’d rather have you sing it, because I think it fits your voice better,” I explained, skipping over the part where I thought his voice was totally angelic, and that it had inspired me to keep writing. That might have been a little much. “Maybe you can come over after school?”

“Sure, that sounds cool,” he said, smiling. “I can’t wait.”