The Little One

Maddyn took a fairly long nap and woke up around 3 in the afternoon. Jordan had gotten a good amount of work done on her paper and was cleaning the kitchen while Maddyn watched a Power Rangers movie. Jordan finished up the dishes and went back to her computer.
She really needed to get a job. She had enough money for now. for school and to support Maddyn but the money she had gotten from her Aunt and the things she had sold over the past year wasn’t going to last them for forever. She maybe had a year left and then her savings would be completely gone. She didn't know what she would do. Jordan had checked at numerous clothing stores in the mall. It seemed like no one had an available job to spare. She had done a lot of research online and was looking at getting an interview at a restaurant of some sort. Unfortunately a part time waitress job wouldn’t allow her to build her savings back up. She needed a full time position somewhere and then she needed some place she could take Maddyn on the days she didn’t have her in day care that wouldn’t cost her an arm and a leg. Things were really starting to pile up and get to Jordan.
"Mommy I'm the pink one." Maddyn said without taking her eyes off the tv. "Which one are you?" She asked looking up at her mother, her eyes full of curiosity.
"I'll be the yellow one." Jordan said smiling at her and setting her laptop to the side. She knew these times with her daughter were fleeting ones and that the other things would eventually get solved. Right now she was going to play power rangers with her darling daughter while she still wanted her mom to play with her.
"Let's fight! Fight the bad guys!" she said getting up and punching and kicking the air. "Come on!" They took to fighting the imaginary bad guys in their living room. Jordan punching and kicking the air right along with Maddyn as she pointed out each new invisible foe as they revealed themselves to only her daughter’s eyes. After two monsters and one thief were taken care of and Maddyn had decided the living room was well protected for the time being, a huge grin spread across her little face as she raised her hands in excitement. “All gone! They’re all gone!” She cheered.
"Good job Maddyn!" Jordan said holding out a her hand. Maddyn high fived her and sat back down and Jordan went back to the couch and her laptop.
She decided it was getting time for dinner so she got up and went back to the kitchen. Jordan got some frozen chicken nuggets out and put them in a pan that she placed the the oven. It wasn't the healthiest thing, but they had had veggies last night, and this would only take 15 minutes. She got out a can of green peas and put them in a pot on the stove. They were Maddyn's favorite and Jordan’s too. The movie had ended and Maddyn had waddled into the kitchen and gotten into her chair and was just watching her mother prepare their dinner for the night.
" She makes me feel like shit, but I can't get over it." Jordan heard her start to sing quietly. She turned around and just starred at her daughter. She hadn't heard her sing that song, at least not around her daughter. Jordan was maybe overly cautious about what went in her daughter’s ears because she knew sooner then later it would come out her mouth. Now what she had been so careful to prevent had happened.
"Maddyn have you been listening to mommy's iPod with out her?" She asked knowing that was the only explanation to her daughter’s new vocabulary.
"Noooooo" She said shaking her head from side to side.
"Where did you hear that song?" Jordan asked walking over and squatting down beside her in her chair, so she was eye to eye with the tiny girl.
"On your iPod" She mumbled looking down, knowing she had been caught.
"So you did listen to mommy's iPod with out her?" Jordan asked again, Maddyn just nodded her head. "Why did you lie to mommy?" She shrugged her shoulders and tears started forming in her eyes. Jordan hated getting on to her she really did. It broke her heart every time. "Maddyn sweetie you weren't suppose to get my iPod, and you are definitely not suppose to lie." Maddyn started sobbing, "I don't want you to lie to me again okay?" she nodded, tears streaming down her face, "and don't sing that song." Jordan added. "Now go sit on the couch and don't turn on the tv." She told her.
Maddyn went and did as she was told, except she laid on the couch and cried into the pillow. Jordan just went back to stirring the peas, trying to keep her mind busy to keep herself from crying too. The chicken and the peas were done a few minutes later and she called her daughter back into the kitchen. Maddyn stopped crying and ate. She cheered right up and started talking and laughing about Barney, Power Rangers and Dora the Explorer. How quickly she always forgave and forgot amazed Jordan.
After Dinner Jordan took her up to give her a bath and get her pj's on. Maddyn didn't really have a bed time. and If there was one thing Jordan didn't do right as a parent it was probably that. She was always so sure to make sure she ate okay, had a bath, and all the usual parental duties, but she just never made her go to bed. Maddyn normally conked out on the couch around 9 and Jordan just carried her to her bed. Jordan tried to put Maddyn’s Jonas Brother pajama's on her but failed miserably when she decided she wanted her sesame street pajamas. The feisty girl had a new favorite pair everyday it was ridiculous. If she changed her mind this much now Jordan didn't want to know what she would be like as a teenager.
The doorbell rang and Jordan chased after Maddyn as she headed towards the stairs. She scooped her up when she caught up with her and continued down the stairs to answer the door. It was Kennedy and John. "Hey! It's really good to see you!" Jordan said as Maddyn reached for John and Jordan handed her to him, and then hugged Kennedy.
"John!" Maddyn Squealed.
"Remember me kid?" Kennedy asked Maddyn whose arms were wrapped around John. Jordan was surprised she remembered him, she hadn't seen him in almost a year. He had been her favorite though, always singing with her and he was the tallest so he was the perfect one to give her piggy back rides.
"Ken-dee!" She squealed lunging out of John's arms and into his. She could never say his name right. Jordan smiled and hugged John and invited them in. Kennedy carried Maddyn and they all walked into the living room.
Kennedy and Jordan sat on the couch while John sat in the chair next to them.
"She was singing Everything I Ask For this morning" Jordan said rolling her eyes.
"Oops!" John said covering his mouth. "Will you sing that song for me?"' He asked Maddyn as Jordan’s eyes got wide, She did not need her almost 3 year old singing curse words!
"Mommy said it was bad." She said burrying her head into Kennedy's shoulder.
"Oh come on, it's not bad" John prodded her.
"John stop!" Jordan scolded him, "She can't be singing that at three!"
"It's cute!" he argued, "come on Maddyn, for me?" She looked up at him with the sweetest innocent expression, "Oh she makes me feel like..." John started to sing.
"Shit!" Maddyn squealed. Jordan couldn't help but laugh and John was about to cry he was laughing so hard, so was Kennedy.
"Please let us video tape that!" John said still laughing as Maddyn smiled, pure joy exuding from her face.
"No!" Jordan said glaring at John, "Maddyn don't sing that song anymore, just that one time okay?" Her mother instructed her, hoping she wouldn't be getting a call from the day care next week.
"Okay mommy." Maddyn nodded still smiling.
"Maddyn why don't you go show John your room so I can talk to Kennedy?" Jordan asked her, the little girl looked hesitant, "I'll bet John will sing you Daisy." she bribed, getting an eye roll from John. Maddyn nodded and hopped down, going over and grabbing John's hand.
"Will you really sing to me?" She asked him.
"Of course I will," He said following her up the stairs.
They sat there for a minute just looking at each other. Neither one of them really knowing what to say to the other.
"Are you comming to the show tomorrow?" Kennedy was the first to break the awkward tension between them.
"yeah if I can get some one to watch Maddyn," Jordan placed a strand of hair behind her ear, "I don't plan on letting her mosh till she's 5" She joked. They both laughed half heartedly and then went back to an awkward silence.
"You know he wouldn't want you to be like this right?" Kennedy asked. Jordan knew what he was talking about, but she decided to play dumb.
"What do you mean?"
"You make yourself miserable. You've stopped talking to everyone." He explained and she knew he was right, "We used to email and talk on a daily basis, and then this fall you decided to just cut yourself off from everyone who knew Carter... why?" It hurt her to hear his name. She wasn't in love with Carter anymore, not like she had been all those months ago before Maddyn, when she was allowed to be a silly teenager head over heels in love, but she still missed him. He was the father of her kid and she missed him in that aspect of her life.
"I just figured it might be easier" Jordan made an excuse and she knew it wasn't even a good one.
"Jordan that's bull shit and you know it." He said giving her a stern look, "Carter was like my brother, I miss him too! But I didn't cut myself off from every thing that reminded me of him. I choose to remember him and enjoy the memories. If I didn't have that I don't know what I would do."
"Kenny, I know that. I know I shouldn't have stopped talking to you guys" She looked down playing with the bottom of her shirt, "It was just easier to forget."
"Come here," Kennedy said putting his arm around my shoulders as she curled into his side, "That's why you've got to remember because it's easier to forget, you've got to be strong and remember, for Maddyn... and for us... for me." He said sadly.
"I know, I know." She mumbled into his side. She took a deep breath to try and hold the tears trying to fight their way out of her eye, she couldn’t help but feel comforted by his embrace and the sweet scent that wafted into her nose from his simple t-shirt.
"Jordan, we're taking the spring and beginning of the summer off, so we'll be around more." he told her, "I want us to be close again, and I want the old Jordan back."
"Kennedy I have a kid, I'm not really sure I can give you the old Jordan." She said almost laughing.
"Not that Jordan, that's okay, I mean the Jordan that used to email me 3 times a day, telling me what Maddyn did and the Jordan who always gave me new bands to listen to that you had found on myspace while Maddyn napped." She couldn't see his face, but she knew he was smiling, she was too.
"I'll try, Kenny, I'll try." She sighed. They heard footsteps on the stairs.
John and Maddyn both ran into the living room and Jordan just looked at them, still cuddled to Kennedy. John gave them a look but they both ignored it. "Sing mommy your new song" John encouraged Maddyn as a huge smile broke across her face. Jordan looked at John skeptically but then smiled at her daughter encouraging her too, but still a little aprehensive about what song she would be singing.
"I'm lovin the way you shake you ass, in does jeans" Maddyn sang. Jordan’s eyes got wide and her mouth droped.
"John I'm going to kill you!" She yelled at him hopping off of the couch and chasing him, eventually jumping on his back. Maddyn was squealing with joy and Kennedy was laughing just about as hard. Jordan smacked John's head and then jumped off.
"It was cute!" He defended.
"John I swear if you ever teach her anything like that again I won't let you see her anymore!" She threatened.
"You wouldn't" John faked a gasp of unbelief.
"I would." She bluffed.
"No you wouldn't We both know that." John smirked.
Jordan just sighed and sat down back on the couch with Kennedy. "Maddyn don't sing that song either" She scolded her.
"Okay mommy." The little one grinned.