American Idiot

Her look. For once wasn't judging. It was questioning. With an hint of desperateness hidden deep in her eyes. Like she wanted me to stay. Should have thought about that before neglecting me all these years and allowing me to do things an good, responsible parent wouldnt have.
I walked past her into the living room and paused.
“Wait.” she whispered. Her voice cracked. I looked at the front door. I could make it if I ran.
But instead I dropped my gaze to the floor and slowly turned around. Looking into her eyes. There was no emotion on her face. No tears sparkling in the corners of her eyes. Nothing. Why'd I even stop then?
I turned back around and took two steps before she called out again. “Jimmy. No.”
I chuckled slightly and turned all the way around to face her.
“What?”
“No.” she set her jaw firmly on that descion. “Your not leaving Jimmy.”
I smiled widely “Well well well. Look who's finally being an responsible parent after how many years now?...” I began counting on my hands. “Twenty two years. Twenty fucking two years mom. What the hell? I'm old enough to take care of myself mom. I learned to do that when I was eight...” I paused and shoved back the lump in my throat that was coming with my next words. “When Dad died. When he fell out of the picture and you married that fucking drunk in the back bedroom.” I gestured to the still locked bedroom door.
“Don't call your father that.” she snapped.
My eyes narrowed and I dropped my smile. “That... Whatever you want to call him, is not my dad. He's just Brad. Lazy as all fuck and does nothing but waste the remainder of our money from dad on booze so he can get himself so hungover, he can see Mars.”
I turned around and started for the front door.
“I think you'll be able to handle without me here. You always preened like I'm not anyways.”
She smirked “Because your not Jimmy. Your always with that Mary-Jane.”
I glared down at the door handle.
“I don't anymore.”
“Then where the he'll were you all yesterday and this morning?”
I took an deep breath and turned to face her. “Trying to get over an breakup mom. She cheated on me. Happy?”
I stung her with my words. I turned and opened the door and walked out Into the fading light. Toward my car.
My mom never liked Mary-Jane when we together and now I see an pretty good reason why.
I three my bag into the backseat through the open window and climbed in the driverseat while my mom came out the front door and jogged down the steps.
“Jimmy!” she yelled as I started the engine and Drownt her out.
I began to pull away from the house. She came after me and pounded on the hood of my car. I paused and looked at her hurt expression. Despite me never being close to her, I still felt I needed to say goodbye and do this on my own.
I cut the engine and hesitantly climbed out of the car and walked toward her until she stood an good two feet away.
She closed the distance and wrapped her arms tightly around me. It felt like I'd just been shocked. The warmth of her motherly touch. I haven't hugged her in years. I slowly wrapped my arms around her and hugged her back. Enjoying the sudden burst of love I felt. But I knew all too well hoe gullible I was and pulled away before I could change my mind on my decision.
“Please stay.” she whispered as I stood in front of her.
“I can't.” I whispered back. Practically hearing her heart break.
“I can't stay in this town anymore mom. It's dragging me down.”
She froze and looked at me like I wasn't speaking English.
“Your going to better yourself?”
I mearly nodded “As much as I can.”
I climbed back into my car.
“I love you mom.” I said clearly through the open window.
She became emotionless like she'd been in the house. Then, slowly an smile went across her lips “I love you too Jimmy. Don't forget where home is.”
Home. This isn't home. This is a house. If this ever was an home, it's broken now.
I nodded and started the engine and pulled out again. This time she let me. I turned and drove west. Into the sunset.
If one thing is really clear to me right now, it's that this, is the tale of another broken home.