American Idiot

The road was dark. Bleak and empty of any emotion. Just an trail that will hopefully lead me to an greater good. I don't know for sure if I'll let go of the life of crime and actually get an job and an house and start an real life. That thought, of letting go of being the Jesus of Suburbia to have an life? It seems unreal, like it could never happen and I'd already chosen my future.
Ive been driving for an hour. With each minute getting farther from home.
I remembered what my mom said before I left.
‘Don't forget where your home is’
It hung in the air like an echo I couldn't shake, I looked firmly out the windshield. I'm going forward and not turning back. This is better than Suburbia.
As I drew farther up the road, the glittering colors of lights of every color shimmered below. Like an big black lake filled with light. It had it's shadows. It's darkness and it's light. And since this is the biggest city I've come across maybe this is the place.

As I drove through the town. Noise and life busied around me. Car honks, the noisey chatter of people walking up the sidewalks. I stopped at an stoplight and looked up. All the tall buildings, each one an opportunity.
I turned right and drove up the street an little ways. Seeing an bar all lit up on the corner. Cutting off the alcohol cold turkey didn't have all the pure advantages I thought it would. So I'll ease myself off. Get used to it not being around to solve my problems.
I pulled into the parking lot. Looking down and picking up an single little corner that had been torn from Mary-Jane's photo. I pitched it out the window. Maybe eventually it will join thr others back home.
I looked up at the neon signs hanging in the windows and after an moments hesitation, climbed out onto thr curb. Walking inside, where is was dark. The laughs of the drunks echoing off the walls while loud music played. Pouring from giant speakers situated around the room. The place was fairly packed. I ignored everyone though in favor of getting an lone seat up front.
I sat down in fron of the bar. Two bartenders were at work. Giving new beers to the people who asked for them in slurred voices. I Drownt it all out after I ordered an beer. Taking an long drink while looking down at the scratched wooden countertop. Getting lost in my own problems for an bit until someone broke my train of thought.
“Hey! You're that... Jimmy guy... From that one town.” an older, drunk balding man sat down next to me. Drunk of course, I could have held my breath and not smelled all the alcohol on his breath to make that analyst. He slurred his words, but they were clear enough to understand I suppose.
I turned slightly in his direction. Sort of amazed that anyone outside Suburbia would recognize me.
I nodded slightly and dropped my gaze to the counter again. “Yeah, I was.”
He raised his eyebrows and took an long drink of an margarita before saying anything else.

“You were? What's that supposed to mean? You quit?” his face looked clear of any drunkenness for an small portion of time.

I shrugged and looked over at him again. “Yeah. I used to be able to handle it all. But I had to get away. I was in a rut.”
He surprised me with an sudden burst of hysterical laughter.
I glanced over at him again.

“Well, son. Your gonna be disappointed. This place is no better. Gangs left and right. You might be able to join one of them and make an name for yourself.” he said matter-of-factly while taking another drink and ordering another one to follow suit.
I thought about what he said, joining an local gang. Whatever the Underground was, it certainly was no gang. Those people rarely left that place. No one had to go out and buy drugs and alcohol. That was mine and Tunny's job.
It'd be different. But then again I just removed myself from the problem I had there. Itd be just my luck to end up in the same mess again.
I looked over one more time at him.

“Maybe your right. I might have just needed an change of scenery.”
Cause I knew all too clearly the main reason I left was because I wouldn't be able to be around Tunny and Mary-Jane. Not after all of that. And they'd still come around despite the barriers I'd put up. Stubborn, incapable of letting me have what's mine and enjoy it without that dead weight hanging around. It might do me some good to do different illegal stuff.
I ordered another two beers and wasn't tipsy yet. But I felt determined, regardless of rather or not this new life may already be slowly spiraling downward.
I paid and rose from my street. Patting the guy on the back lightly.

“Thanks man. I might have to look into some of that.”

The man nodded in my direction with an enthusiastic smile and turned back to talk to some burly dude.
I nodded once and turned back the way I'd come. Going back outside under the city of lights.
I slept in my car. Woke to bright sunlight... Which was completely unusual for me. The smokey clouds from the refinery usually clouded the early morning light at home.
Maybe this place really was better. Whatever, I'm going job hunting today. Either it's gonna be an real job or something I have experience with, the illegal stuff. Gangs, drugs, alcohol, suicidal stuff. All that I was familiar with. Which might just be enough to splay me an job in that field of 'work'
I drove around town for an bit. For once an little clueless where to even find an gang here.
I gave up on driving and ditched my car in front of an old abandonned gas station on the outskirts of town. Climbing out and walking the road instead. I had an feeling where I'd find them now, I followed the instinct that led me up the cracked asphalt road.