Let Me Save You

Jamie exploded in laughter as I, yet again, fell off the board into the water. He and Mike had decided to teach me to surf, and it hadn't been working well, to say the least. Vic was lounging on the beach with Tony, where I would much rather be.
I pushed myself back to the surface and threw my arms up in surrender. "That's it, I'm done. I've accepted that I wasn't meant to surf and I'm ok with that. Now I'm going back to the shore." Jamie pouted while I paddled in, shivering as the breeze hit my skin. Tony threw me my towel and I quickly wrapped myself in it before plopping down beside him sighing loudly.
"That bad?" Vic asked chuckling. I gave him an exasperated look and turned back to the water to see Mike chasing Jamie as he paddled desperately away, stretched out on the surf board. Deep in my bag I heard guitar chords start up and quickly dug out my phone to see Andy's name and a picture of him laying in the backyard on the screen.
"Hello?" I answered, covering my other ear to hear better.
"How's it goin? Are you liking San Diego?" There was music playing softly in the background and the sound of footsteps on gravel, he must be outside walking.
"It's good, the weather is nice." I murmured, blinking in the bright sun. "How's tour?"
"It's fantastic, I miss you though." A woman said something to him in the background and he covered the speaker muffling the sound.
I waited until he dropped his hand. "Who was that?"
"Huh? Oh, one of the other artists on the tour, we're walking to get some food."
"Well you sound busy, I'll let you go." I mumbled, brushing dried sand absentmindedly off my feet. "Bye Andy."
"Um, ok I guess I'll talk to you later Jay. Have a good night." There was a pause and I could hear the woman laughing and CC saying something before the call disconnected and I set my phone aside.
"Everything alright there little lady?" Vic asked curiously, easily sensing my mood.
I shrugged and slid on my sunglasses avoiding eye contact. Thankfully Vic didn't push it, and I laid back, pulling out my book and beginning to read.

"Heard anything from your dad lately?" Jamie asked, sitting down across from me. We were in the kitchen and I'd been helping him make dinner until my phone had pinged alerting me of a message from CC. He'd sent a picture of all five of them all sweaty after just walking off stage, it was one of those awkward group selfies and I couldn't help but smile at it.
"Not for a couple weeks, but CC keeps sending me random pictures of them and other stuff around the tour." I looked up, setting my phone down. "They look pretty busy, it's fine. He's got a lot going on I'm sure."
Jamie held my gaze for a long moment before I looked away from his intense stare, not wanting to hear whatever it was he was going to say.
The timer dinged and I took the distraction and stood up to pull dinner out of the oven, setting it on the stove to cool. We'd made some kind of Mexican dish I couldn't remember the name of.

Jamie spent dinner scrolling through his phone looking mildly frustrated. Every once in a while he'd nudge Tony and point to something on the screen, then Tony would frown and peek up at me before returning to eating. The curiosity was killing me by the time I'd finished half my plate and I dramatically set my fork down narrowing my eyes at the two.
"Why do you two keep giving me that look?" I snapped.
They shared a look before turning back to me and shrugging. "Nothing, we're just looking at Instagram."
I watched them for a full minute before standing up and taking my plate to the kitchen. "Fine, I'm going to bed." And with that I walked upstairs to my room and shut the door. Laying on my bed I pulled out my phone downloading the app they'd been looking at and creating an account. It wasn't hard to find Andy since all I had to do was search his name and it popped up with a little picture of him on stage. It also didn't take long to figure out what Jamie and Tony had been looking at. As I scrolled through his recent photos I kept seeing the same girl with long blonde hair, sometimes it was the two of them along with others and sometimes they were alone. I didn't fully grasp the situation until I spotted the picture of the two of them curled up on a couch on the bus I assumed kissing. Andy clearly hadn't taken the picture, as it was taken from across the room. I stared at it for a while, then closed the app and put my phone on silent, setting it on the nightstand.

I didn't sleep well that night, awake with thoughts of who that woman was. I wasn't stupid, I could tell she was probably his girlfriend, and a part of me was happy for him...but another part felt like I'd been stabbed in the gut and tossed aside. I couldn't find a rational explanation for this feeling of betrayal though, and it was bothering me greatly.
At breakfast I pulled up a picture of just the woman and confronted the guys about it. "Who is this woman?"
Jamie paled, and Tony looked nervous. Vic looked curious and Mike just looked confused.
"There's pictures of her and Andy on his instagram account, who is she?" My voice raised in frequency and Vic's eyebrows drew together in worry. Mike still looked confused, and Jamie and Tony were having a silent conversation with each other.
"Maybe you should ask your dad about that." Tony finally said quietly.
I nodded, standing up and walking into the living room, finding Andy in my contacts and holding the phone to my ear. It rang a few times before he finally answered sounding like he'd just woken up. Guilt crept up on me.
"Jay, babe what's goin' on? Is everything alright?" I heard a squeak followed by the sound of a curtain. Someone in the background mumbled at him to shut up, and he quickly shushed them, closing a door. "Sweety what's going on?"
I opened my mouth, then closed it losing my nerve. "Sorry, I didn't know you were sleeping. I'm sorry for waking you up."
"Don't worry about it Jay, it's fine. Did something happen?" He sounded worried, and guilt continued to twist my insides.
"I just had a nightmare about Jason." I lied, spitting out the first thing I could think of.
Andy sighed softly. "Do you wanna talk about it?"
"No." I mumbled, looking down at my toes.
"Alright," A woman's voice sounded in the background, and Andy quickly shushed her as tears pricked my eyes rolling slowly down my cheeks. "Jay, babe are you crying?"
"No." I mumbled, clearly lying.
"Jay-"
"Can you sing to me?" I whispered, not thinking he'd actually hear it.
"Oh course I can, what would you like to hear?" He asked, his voice softening and the background noise cutting off.
"The one you wrote for mom." I mumbled curling up on the couch.
I open my lungs dear
"I sing this song at funerals... no rush. These lyrics heard a thousand times, just plush." I closed my eyes as he sang softly into the phone, realizing in that moment how much I missed him.
When he'd finished the song I softly mumbled "I miss you."
"I miss you too Jay, only a couple of more weeks and we'll be back home. That's right, I wanted to let you know that we won't be able to pick you up until after the last show is over, there's not enough time to drive down to San Diego then all the way up to Washington. I'm sorry Jay."
"It's fine." I mumbled, brushing away my tears with my shirt sleeve. "I should probably go."
"Ok, have a good day, I love you Jay."
"Love you too." I quickly diconnected the call and dropped my phone on the couch.

Photos of Andy and the woman continued to show up on his instagram account, and for whatever reason I couldn't just ignore them, and I found myself checking everyday, disappointed whether I found one or not. Days at the beach ticked by until pretty soon it was the night before they were due to pick me up.
My suitcase was open on the floor, and my things were scattered about the floor around it, nothing actually inside of it yet. I'd always hated packing.
A knock sounded on the door frame and I looked up to find Vic smiling. "Want some company?"
I shrugged and went back to staring at all my stuff, not really accomplishing anything. Vic hopped up on the bed, sitting on his hands.
"Are you excited to go home?" He asked curiously.
Shrugging I got down on my knee and started arranging things in my bag.
"Did Andy ever tell you about the woman?"
I froze in my packing, not responding for a moment.
"Did you ever actually ask him?" Vic could read me like a book, something I'd been finding increasingly annoying as the days had dragged on, my mood shifting between meaningless anger directed at Andy and at myself, and a heavy oppressive depression.
"No." I mumbled, continuing to pack.
"It's not the end of the world if they do keep seeing each other Jay. He's not going to start ignoring you all the time, that's not how it works."
I shrugged, keeping my gaze on my task. "It's fine, I'm used to it."
"To what exactly?"
"Nothing, never mind." Shit. "Can you hand me that stack of clothes?" I pointed to a stack sitting on the bed.
He handed over the clothing, and I could feel his gaze on me as I continued packing.
"Jay, why is there blood on your shirt?" Vic asked flatly.
I glanced down to find he was correct, one of the newer scabs on my hip had reopened and was slowly darkening a spot on my shirt. Not looking at Vic I stood up and quickly rushed into the bathroom, closing and locking the door behind me. Pulling out the first aid kit I dug around and found a band-aid then placed it carefully over the cut, inspecting the others around it to make sure they weren't going to open as well.
"Jay? What's going on?" Vic asked cautiously.
"Nothing, it's fine. I scrapped my hip on a rock at the beach this morning, it's fine." I called, trying to hide my nerves.
"Can you come out?"
I glanced over my hip one last time then opened the door, refusing to look guilty. Vic stood, his brow creased in worry as he looked me over carefully. He reached my eyes and I looked away.
"Please don't lie to me Jay." He said quietly.
I sighed and walked around him. "I told you Vic, I hit a rock while I was swimming, it's not a big deal." I returned to packing, shoving things into my suitcase faster than before. "Andy said they would be here early in the morning so I think I'm going to get some sleep."
Vic nodded, giving me a last worried look before slipping into the hall, leaving me to myself.

I curled up under the blanket, pulling my knees to my chest and staring at the brightly illuminated screen of my phone. I'd pulled up Andy's instagram like I did every night, to find a picture of him and the girl again, this time curled up sleeping together in what I assumed was his bunk. The caption read: "Aren't they the cutest?" Ashley's account was tagged along with CC's and the hashtag #hacked. I quickly set the phone aside and rolled over, steeling myself for the following morning.