Status: Regularly updating.
Let Me Save You
Chapter 5
My gaze caught a glint of metal stuck into my picture frame and I pulled it delicately from the frame before wandering into the bathroom, pushing the door closed behind me, not realizing it was still far enough open to see my reflection from the hallway.
I stared into my deadened reflection. My skin was a deathly pale, almost translucent, my once brilliant blue eyes dulled to a murky grey. I dropped my gaze and pressed the sharp metal against the inside of my wrist, staring as the blood beaded quickly, and gradually started dripping faster as I made another cut.
The world disappeared and it was just me and my blood dripping into the too white porcelain sink. It didn’t hurt, in fact I couldn't feel it at all, not even a pin prick. Nothing. I slowly raised my gaze back to meet my reflection’s and just stared into those dead eyes. I subconsciously make another cut, this time nicking the vein and spilling more blood than before.
“Jay? Jay do you-oh my god. Jay!” Andy pushed open the door and froze when he saw my state. A second passed before he jumped into action grabbing a towel and turning on the cold water, holding my bleeding wrist under it before wrapping the towel tightly around it. He kept a firm grasp on my wrist while he dug through one of the drawers pulling out gauze and medical tape. He flicked off the sink and unwrapped the towel, first spreading some kind of cream over the cuts, which had stopped bleeding. He blew lightly on the cream waiting for it to dry quickly before wrapping my wrist securely in gauze. He snatched the blade and threw it in the trash.
“Come on.” He murmured, not looking at me as he flicked off the light and brought me downstairs to the living room. He sat me on the couch and paced in front of the TV a few times before pulling out his phone and speed dialing someone. He held the phone to his ear and walked into the kitchen.
“I don’t know what to do. I don’t- I can’t,” he paused taking a deep breath and letting the other person talk. I curled into a ball and followed him with my eyes as he continued to pace back and forth in the kitchen. I knew I should feel guilty, and maybe somewhere under the dark fog inside me, perhaps I did.
“I know, I know, and I’m not giving up, I’m just...maybe I’m not cut out for this after all, maybe Aurora was right to send me away.” Andy walked over to the coat rack and dug through the pockets of one of his jackets pulling out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. He pulled one out and lit it up before returning them to his pocket and going back to the kitchen, occasionally glancing up to make sure I was still there.
“No.” He murmured, taking a long drag off the death stick looking at the ceiling.
“It’s not that simple Ashley.” He paused. “No I haven’t told her yet.” He rolled his eyes exasperated. “How can I? She won’t even talk to me!” Another drag. Exhale. “Please, I don’t know what to do anymore, and she’s only been here a day Ash.” Andy sounded desperate. “Thank you.” Inhale. “Alright see you in twenty.” He ended the call and slipped his phone into his pocket, coming to stand in front of me.
“We’re gonna go to Ashley’s place for a bit. You aren’t in trouble or anything, and I’m not mad at you, ok?” He said crouching down so he was level with me. I refused to meet his eyes knowing he was lying. “I’m so sorry I haven’t been there for you until now, but I promise you I won’t let you down anymore.” His voice shook slightly and when I looked up his eyes held unshed tears. I dropped my gaze as gilt finally twisted my insides. He straightened up and held out his hand to help me up. I slowly reached out and took it letting him lead me to the door.
Andy pulled on his boots and I slipped on my chucks. After looking me over he pulled the leather jacket off the coat rack, where he’d found his cigarettes earlier, and draped it over my shoulders before grabbing his keys. He held open the door for me then flicked on the porch light and locked the front door. Andy’s arm wrapped around my shoulders as he lead me down to his car and opened the passenger side door for me, closing it once I was seated inside. He got in the car and started up the engine.
I stared into my deadened reflection. My skin was a deathly pale, almost translucent, my once brilliant blue eyes dulled to a murky grey. I dropped my gaze and pressed the sharp metal against the inside of my wrist, staring as the blood beaded quickly, and gradually started dripping faster as I made another cut.
The world disappeared and it was just me and my blood dripping into the too white porcelain sink. It didn’t hurt, in fact I couldn't feel it at all, not even a pin prick. Nothing. I slowly raised my gaze back to meet my reflection’s and just stared into those dead eyes. I subconsciously make another cut, this time nicking the vein and spilling more blood than before.
“Jay? Jay do you-oh my god. Jay!” Andy pushed open the door and froze when he saw my state. A second passed before he jumped into action grabbing a towel and turning on the cold water, holding my bleeding wrist under it before wrapping the towel tightly around it. He kept a firm grasp on my wrist while he dug through one of the drawers pulling out gauze and medical tape. He flicked off the sink and unwrapped the towel, first spreading some kind of cream over the cuts, which had stopped bleeding. He blew lightly on the cream waiting for it to dry quickly before wrapping my wrist securely in gauze. He snatched the blade and threw it in the trash.
“Come on.” He murmured, not looking at me as he flicked off the light and brought me downstairs to the living room. He sat me on the couch and paced in front of the TV a few times before pulling out his phone and speed dialing someone. He held the phone to his ear and walked into the kitchen.
“I don’t know what to do. I don’t- I can’t,” he paused taking a deep breath and letting the other person talk. I curled into a ball and followed him with my eyes as he continued to pace back and forth in the kitchen. I knew I should feel guilty, and maybe somewhere under the dark fog inside me, perhaps I did.
“I know, I know, and I’m not giving up, I’m just...maybe I’m not cut out for this after all, maybe Aurora was right to send me away.” Andy walked over to the coat rack and dug through the pockets of one of his jackets pulling out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. He pulled one out and lit it up before returning them to his pocket and going back to the kitchen, occasionally glancing up to make sure I was still there.
“No.” He murmured, taking a long drag off the death stick looking at the ceiling.
“It’s not that simple Ashley.” He paused. “No I haven’t told her yet.” He rolled his eyes exasperated. “How can I? She won’t even talk to me!” Another drag. Exhale. “Please, I don’t know what to do anymore, and she’s only been here a day Ash.” Andy sounded desperate. “Thank you.” Inhale. “Alright see you in twenty.” He ended the call and slipped his phone into his pocket, coming to stand in front of me.
“We’re gonna go to Ashley’s place for a bit. You aren’t in trouble or anything, and I’m not mad at you, ok?” He said crouching down so he was level with me. I refused to meet his eyes knowing he was lying. “I’m so sorry I haven’t been there for you until now, but I promise you I won’t let you down anymore.” His voice shook slightly and when I looked up his eyes held unshed tears. I dropped my gaze as gilt finally twisted my insides. He straightened up and held out his hand to help me up. I slowly reached out and took it letting him lead me to the door.
Andy pulled on his boots and I slipped on my chucks. After looking me over he pulled the leather jacket off the coat rack, where he’d found his cigarettes earlier, and draped it over my shoulders before grabbing his keys. He held open the door for me then flicked on the porch light and locked the front door. Andy’s arm wrapped around my shoulders as he lead me down to his car and opened the passenger side door for me, closing it once I was seated inside. He got in the car and started up the engine.