Best Friends Means...

"Sorry I'm late!" I busted into Eleanor and Louis' shared flat. Perrie and Eleanor were seated at the kitchen table around boxes of pizza and bottles of wine. "Looks like you guys started without me!" I plopped my bags down on the couch and sat down beside Perrie.

"Harry wouldn't let you out of the house, would he?"

I shook my head, "No. Doesn't understand that I need some time away from him before I spend months straight with him on a bus."

"Louis is trying to talk me into coming along too."

"Oh, you really should come!" I grabbed a slice of pizza and bit into it, and Eleanor poured me a glass of white wine.

"I can't. Too many responsibilities here. I'll fly out for a week or so. Don't worry, you'll get to see me." Eleanor winked at me and I continued eating my piece of pizza. I had walked in on Eleanor and Perrie discussing her wedding plans that were extremely tentative. They continued on with those, and I didn't have much input to give, so I just sat at the table and helped them empty the bottles of wine in front of us.

My phone buzzed on the table and I realized I had already been at Eleanor's for a little over an hour.

I'm bored.
I'm sorry. I'm not. :)
What are you guys doing? Pillow fights and painting toenails?
Eating pizza and seeing how much wine we can drink. How about you?
At some dumb club. There's too many people here, and none of them are you.

I rolled my eyes at Harry's cute little comment.

"God, you two are adorable. What's he saying to you?" Perrie looked over my shoulder as I showed her the text he had sent me. She let out a sigh, "I miss when Zayn used to say cute stuff like that."

"He doesn't anymore? Harry's just... Really cheeky. Even before we dated, he's always said cute things to me, but I just brushed them off."

"You were dumb, love." Eleanor poured more red wine into her glass. "Didn't see that that boy was head over heels for a long, long time. Louis still says cute stuff like that to me. He knows I love it."

"Well then, I guess you guys got the perfect two of the band, didn't you?" Perrie chimed in, twirling a piece of her bright blonde hair. "I'm only joking. I wouldn't trade Zaynie for anyone else. We've had a hard time lately with us both being gone so much, and never getting to see each other. And it's only going to get harder."

"What do you think you'll do when you're married? Just... have a long distance marriage?" My phone vibrated as I was speaking, but I chose to ignore it.

"I think that's why we want to wait so long, actually. See what's going to happen with our careers. Long distance dating is bad enough. I can't imagine trying to work on becoming a family with us both on opposite ends of the world." Perrie stared into her glass, swirling the wine around. Both Eleanor and I looked at each other, sensing the sadness Perrie was feeling.

"Well, it'll all get sorted out after a while, love." Eleanor reached across to Perrie's hand and squeezed it, giving her a reassuring smile. I smiled at her as well, before pouring myself some more wine. My head was starting to feel a little heavy by now, but I felt really relaxed so I decided to keep drinking. My phone started to vibrate on the table again, this time a phone call. I saw Harry's name light up the screen and both girls urged me to answer it.

"What do you want?" I answered, annoyed that he was bothering me.

"Well hello to you, too. Louis and I are bored so we're coming over there."

"No you're not! This is a girls only party."

"Come on, you're not a teenager anymore."

"No, but I literally get no girl time, Harry. Leave us alone and don't come over here!"

"But we're really bored." The whine in Harry's voice made me believe that he was drunk too. I wasn't in the mood to deal with him so I handed my phone to Eleanor. I watched as her eyes bugged out of her head.

"Harry, this is Eleanor. Not Elle... You're dirty. No, you can't come over. Penis free night. Go over to your house if you're bored. I'm sure you can find something to do. No, Louis didn't say that. Bye, Harry." She ended the call and handed the phone back to me. "That Harry's got a mouth on him, doesn't he?"

I blushed as I looked down at my phone, "Yeah, sometimes. Sorry 'bout that."

"So, who wants to play truth or dare?" Perrie suggested, pushing her phone aside. "I still feel like I don't know you that well, Elle. And from the looks of things, you'll be around for a while."

"Yeah, lets! Let's move to the couch, though. Much more comfortable in there." Eleanor suggested and we all moved our bottles and glasses over to the living room. Although at this point, we really should have just been drinking straight out of the bottles.

"I'll go first." Perrie volunteered. "Elle. Truth or dare?" I really always hated this game. I was too much of a chicken to do a dare, and I was petrified to have to answer an embarrassing question. Coed parties that played truth or dare were always much worse than just girls sleepovers though, right...?

"Truth, I guess." I sat cross legged on the couch, facing Perrie.

"Other than Harry, which one of the boys would you like to have in bed?"

My face turned blood red at the question. "I uh, I've never really thought-"

"You picked truth, so tell the truth. I think we've all thought about Harry in bed. And those hands." She winked at me, trying to make me feel comfortable but really it was just making me even more uncomfortable.

"I guess... Liam or Niall? Liam seems like he'd be a good mix of rough and sweet, and Niall just seems like he'd make love to you, never just be able to fuck you, you know?"

"That's EXACTLY what I said about Niall, too!" Eleanor said, clinking her wine glass with mine.

"Truth or Dare, Eleanor?" I asked. She picked truth, so I racked my brain trying to come up with a question to prove myself to these two girls. "Hmmm. What are your true thoughts on the whole Larry Stylinson? Truth, now."

Perrie let out a snort as Eleanor opened, then closed her mouth. She opened her mouth to speak again, "I think... I really don't know what I think?"

"Yes you do! You have to." Perrie waved her hand at Eleanor.

"What? I really don't know what I think about it. I mean, the two are really close, but I don't know that they'd ever... Do each other? I think they're just really close mates. People look to far into their friendship and make up these theories."

"But those theories can be convincing. I'll admit, I've read some of their conspiracies and they do have a lot of 'proof.'" I air quoted with my wine glass in hand. "Not that I'd believe any of it for a minute."

"Pfft, me neither. Not the way Louis is in bed." We all let out a group laughter and continued on with our game, finding out too much information about each other and each of the boys. We finally settled on watching a movie. Perrie fell asleep about 20 minutes into the movie, and about 20 minutes after that, Eleanor motioned for me to follow her. We climbed the stairs of the flat and walked through their bedroom out onto the balcony.

"Just like coming out here late at night. It's quiet, and we've got a nice view." We had each grabbed our bottles of wine- my white wine, and her red wine. We sat on the couch and huddled up underneath a blanket. "I worry about them a lot. Do you? Or am I crazy?"

I shook my head as I threw back a swig of the burning, warm wine. "No, you're not crazy. I wonder if they'll ever be able to have a normal life ever again. Go out shopping for food, take their children to school. I mean I guess once these fans grow up and get old, they'll realize how crazy they were back when they were fifteen and sixteen and they may leave them alone, but... It just blows my mind how big they've become recently."

"I agree completely." Eleanor rested her head on my shoulder, and I rested my head atop of hers as we continued looking out over the city. "But you and I, couldn't be any luckier. Louis is seriously an amazing boyfriend. I know Haz is to you, too." I nodded in agreement. "Of all the girls in the world to pick, they picked us."

"Do you want to marry Louis?"

"Without a doubt. I've never been so sure of something in my entire life."

I smiled at her quick answer. "That's so wonderful. Harry always would talk about you two to me on the phone. I feel like I went away from his life for so long and then just... All of the sudden I'm back in it again, and it's kind of weird for me to think about."

"What happened?"

"Well... A lot happened, actually. And I-"

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. I'm not trying to be nosy, you can keep it to yourself if you'd like."

I thought about not telling Eleanor, but figured we had grown close enough tonight that she deserved to know about my past. "Well, you see. Harry and I grew up together being best friends, right? Right. X-Factor happened and he was taken away from me. We always stayed in touch, talking and texting, but he literally never, ever came home. The same time Harry was whisked away, my dad passed away." Eleanor looked at me with apologetic eyes. "Really, it's all fine. Harry helped me through that as well as he could, but it just... Wasn't enough, I guess. I started drinking excessively at a young age and it followed me through uni. I was destructive to my body, I didn't take care of myself and I hated myself for it. I didn't let Harry know that though. I was just the person on the other line who wanted to help him with his problems and be his best friend for support. I didn't want him out on tour worrying about me, when he should be performing every night to the best of his abilities. I started dating this guy, Jack. He was controlling, abusive, manipulative in every way. I was so in love with him, Eleanor. He was charming, handsome, he loved me with everything in him. Anyway. Jack tried to get me to go to rehab for my drinking, so I did. I was in rehab one of the times Harry did get to come home but I told him I had school stuff and I wouldn't be able to make it into town to see him."

"Yeah, I remember that. He thought it was so suspicious. He was heartbroken that whole week he was home. I think he just slept at Louis' house the whole week, he didn't even hardly want to go home to see his mum because he really only wanted to go home to see you."

My heart sank at Eleanor's words but I pushed on. "So, I withdrew myself from rehab and broke up with Jack. I felt like I didn't need rehab because I didn't feel like I was ready to quit. One of my friends from uni had opened up a clothing store so she and I ran the store together, and it was wonderful. I wasn't drinking as much, but when I did, I had no control. I thought I was getting better. Harry came home this last time, I finally got to see him, and I noticed myself becoming more attracted to him? Then he admitted his feelings for me, I admitted mine for him, and that's where he and I are now. He's trying to help me with my problems and I with his. My father's dying anniversary was a few weeks ago, and Jack killed himself that morning of. Jack was the ex-boyfriend that was the paparazzi who was following me around everywhere. I'm still a little confused because I'm still sad about it... I shouldn't be. He was a terrible person. But he was the first person I ever dated who made me feel loved, so I guess there's just always going to be a place in my heart for him. Harry got mad that I was upset over him killing himself, but... Jack blamed it on me. How could I not be upset?"

"Oh, sweetheart you've been through so much. None of us had any idea." Eleanor wrapped her arms around me and squeezed me into a hug. "I know that took a lot out of you to tell me that, so thanks. I wanna get to know you because I wanna be closer to you. Us girls go through a lot of shit to be with these boys and we need each other to lean on. If you ever need anything, I'm here for you, alright?"

I nodded my head, thanking Eleanor for her kindness. "I think I'm ready to go to bed now." I knew it was nearing even later in the night because the London air was becoming even more cool.

"I'll be in in a minute. Guest room is across from mine, I think I'll just sit out here a little longer." I nodded and padded downstairs, noticing Perrie had set up camp on the couch. I turned all of the lights out, grabbed my phone and made my way back into the bedroom I'd be sleeping in.

Not three minutes after I had climbed into bed, Harry was calling me again. I buried myself under blankets so no one could hear me quietly talking to him.

"Hi, drunky." I answered, noting that it was already 3 in the morning.

"Hi. What are you doing?"

I giggled, "Trying to get some sleep. What are you doing?"

"Same. Louis is in the room beside me and he's snoring so loud. I'm so glad you don't snore."

"I'm glad I don't either. Did you have fun tonight?"

"Yeah, I guess so." Harry sounded disappointed. "I missed you a lot."

"Harry, I missed you too. But you needed some social interaction with people that are not me."

"Yeah. When are you coming home tomorrow?"

"I dunno, I figured we'd all meet up for lunch at some point, so probably then." I turned on my side and started poking at the duvet cover. "Can I go to sleep, please?"

"Since you asked so nicely... No. Stay on the phone till I get a little bit more tired."

"Harry. Seriously?"

"Seriously. It's been a while since we've done this." I sighed. When Harry couldn't sleep on tour, he'd always call me and tell me about his day. We'd end up staying on the phone until one of us fell asleep, usually it was me first. I never minded it because he usually called earlier in the night, but tonight I was ready for sleep.

"Yeah, it has."

"Something bothering you, love? You sound more than just tired."

"Not really anything in particular. Eleanor and I had a talk tonight. I kind of told her about everything that's been going on lately. I didn't go into too much detail, but I opened up to her quite a bit."

"Good, everyone really likes you."

"So I'm just thinking about all of it, I guess." Jack had slowly inched his way back into my mind, which I knew was what he wanted to happen with that letter he wrote me. I closed my eyes and swallowed hard. "Jack, in particular." I heard Harry make a grunt noise on the other end of the phone, and I knew he was growing frustrated. "It's just... Harry, he said it was all my fault. I know he was crazy but he's dead because of me."

"And for a damn good reason, he was bloody insane."

"Harry! No one deserves to die. Especially for some bullshit he wrote in a paper for money."

"You sure as hell weren't saying that when you were crying your eyes out after he posted an article about you."

"I know I wasn't, but it doesn't make it any better for you to say that he deserves to be dead. That's a terrible thing to say about someone. You're the one who's telling me to ignore what all those paps say anyway."

"I'm really not in the mood to argue right now." Harry's voice was quick and aggitated.

I tried not to raise my voice too much but I couldn't help it. I was growing annoyed with Harry's unmanageable temper. "You're not in the mood to argue? Then don't. You're the one who asked me what was bothering me and I'm trying to tell you why I'm upset. I'm upset because so much has happened in the last few weeks and all you do is argue and try to pick a fight with me, Harry! You used to never do this. You've hardly tried comforting me, and all you do is get pissed off at me anymore!" I heard a quiet knock on the door and I peeked my head above the covers to see Eleanor coming into my room. She sat on the bed beside me and started petting my hair. I mouthed the word 'sorry' to her, but she just nodded and remained there. "You promised me you'd work on yourself, but look at where we are now. You're not trying one bit. I'm sick of it."

"What, so you don't want to try?"

"You're not trying, Harry. So why should I?" Harry didn't say anything. "You there?"

"Yeah."

I wiped the tears that had escaped from my eyes before I started to speak again. "Maybe I'll just stay back with Eleanor for a bit. Take a breather away from you so you can figure out what's going on in your head. I let you in, Harry. You've got to open yourself up to me."

"Alright. I'm going to fall asleep in a few minutes so I guess I'll just talk to you later." Harry ended the call before I could respond and I tossed my phone to the end of my bed.

"What is his problem?"

"He's drunk." Eleanor said, sinking down into the bed with me. "Seriously, drunk Harry is intolerable."

"He didn't sound that drunk, El. He's just an ass."

"He's not."

"He is. Something in him changed when we started dating, and it's exactly what I didn't want to happen. He was my best friend, we used to never argue any more than just play bickering and now we're full on fighting. He doesn't make me feel good anymore."

I immediately felt sad at the realization that Harry was no longer making me happy. I was always on my toes around him, scared to set off his temper. Eleanor didn't say anything back to me. She didn't have to. I rolled over on my side as she continued to play with my hair, trying to ease my horrible mood. This was quite possibly the worst time for this to be happening to the two of us. I knew how hard Harry would take this, and it would affect everyone on tour, not just him and myself.

Harry's P.O.V.

I groaned as the light started peeking through my usually dark bedroom. I had forgotten to close the curtains last night when I climbed into bed, and I was regretting it horribly. Elle usually did that because she was the first to get into bed lately, with my late night rehearsals. Elle. Fuck. I checked my phone, having a text from Eleanor.

I think it's best if Elle stay over here for a bit while longer. Calm yourself down more before you try to see her, please. She's worried about the two of you. She doesn't want to lose you completely.

How dare she tell me when I can see my girlfriend? If we were even that. I rolled out of bed, swallowing the wave of nausea that hit me like a wall of bricks. I took a quick shower and got dressed, and left without a second thought of grabbing something to eat.

It took five minutes before someone came to the door. Perrie answered the door to the flat with her hair in a knot on top of her head, her pajamas still wrinkled from slumber. "Harry, I didn't know you were coming to get Elle so early? It's 9 o'clock. She's probably still sleeping. We all are."

"Who is it?" I heard Eleanor's voice growing closer.

"Harry." Perrie looked back at Eleanor behind the door and stared at her, I guess she was telling her not to let me in. "She's still sleeping. Why don't you come back later?"

"I'd really like to see her right now, though." I crossed my arms as I leaned on the door frame. "Eleanor, please let me." Eleanor stepped into view and she just shook her head.

"Neither of you are in the right state of mind to be around each other. She's been up all night crying. You've obviously gotten enough beauty sleep to be completely unaffected."

"Or I just passed out because I had so much to drink last night." I felt my fists clenching, and my jaw tightening. Both girls just stood there, staring at me. "Let me see her."

"No, Harry. All you're going to do is yell at her for being upset. She has every reason to be upset over what's going on. So much has happened to her and all you've done is gotten upset with her, and not hardly comforted her. Poor Niall has had to. She's not coming on tour until she's ready."

"Yeah? I'd like to hear that from her, not you. She can speak for herself. So let me in."

"I'm not going on tour." I watched as the front door opened more to reveal the most pitiful looking Elle I've ever seen. She had leftover makeup under her eyes, her hair looked like a bird had taken up housing atop her head, and her face was still red and splotchy. "That good enough for you?" I stood there in shock as she slammed the door in my face, causing me to jump back.

If I didn't know any better, I'd think Eleanor was brainwashing her. But maybe I was being a complete jerk about everything. I kept my head down as I walked back to my car, hopping in and not thinking twice about who's house I was driving to.