Best Friends Means...

"Oh come on, it's two o'clock in the afternoon!" I felt my mom tugging on my leg. "You've got to get up."

I groaned, and pulled the covers back over my head. "Let me sleep 30 more minutes. My bed is so comfy." I heard silence, then felt the bed being pushed down to my left and I kicked at the body. "Get off my bed! I'll get up!"

"Ouch! That hurt." I heard Harry's voice. "Your mum let me in. You need to get up!"

"Why? We aren't hanging out until later." I asked, poking my head out. My mom had left the room.

"Because I don't want to waste all day waiting on you to come over."

"You still have to wait for me to shower. And get ready."

"Which is why you need to get up now!" Harry lunged at me and started tickling me, and I pushed him away as hard as I could but he was no match for my weak, tired body. I gave up, and by the time Harry had too, he had uncovered me completely.

"Ugh. I don't wanna move."

Harry plopped back and allowed my pillows to swallow his head. "Me neither, now."

"Just have your mum bring over dinner and we can just watch movies. Like when we would be 'sick' and stay home from school." I let out a light chuckle.

"Yeah, I would give anything to have those days back again." Harry had his hands resting atop his chest. Today he had on a black vneck that showed off his tattoos, and a pair of dark denim pants.

"Me too, Haz." I sighed, and rolled over, picking my phone up. Three missed calls from Jack and two texts. "Fuck."

"What?" Harry looked over at me, concerned.

"I forgot to tell Jack I got home okay last night." I groaned, sending him an apologizing message.

"Why were you talking to him?"

"In my drunken state, I figured it would be best I text him and let him know I missed him."

"Do you?" I was silent, not answering Harry's question as I slowly climbed out of bed, walking around to gather some clothes for today.

"A little. He really was nice, he was just too... I didn't feel like he gave me any space to myself, you know? I felt like I was slowly being suffocated. He was ready to settle down way too early, and I wasn't ready for that at all. I still care about him, and I do miss him. I just don't think he's the right person for me right now. He didn't like having any fun." I walked into my bathroom, leaving Harry to sit on my bed while I showered. I lathered myself up, smelling like a cupcake, and stepped out of the shower after I had washed my hair. I towel dried my hair as much as I could and then opened my bathroom door to let some of the steam escape.

"You smell good."

"I know, right?" I giggled as Harry came in to sit on my bathroom counter, watching me put on a little bit of makeup and finish drying my hair. I threw my brown hair up into a bun on top of my head, checking myself in the mirror again. "It's weird being around you." I admitted loudly. "I still can't get used to it."

"Yeah, its a bit strange. I keep checking my phone to see if you've sent me a text, but alas. You're right here." He hopped off my counter and followed me. "So do you want to just go over to my house or go anywhere or what? I walked, so we could just walk around the neighborhood for a bit."

"That sounds perfect." I said, grabbing my phone off the charger. "We're not going anywhere, are we?" Harry shook his head, telling me no. "I'll just leave my purse here, then."

We walked down the stairs of my house, my mom was thrilled Harry had finally gotten me out of bed. I told her bye and we made our way out of the house. It wasn't that chilly out, I'm not quite sure why I had thrown on a jumper, but I was comfortable.

"So, when do you think you'll come back to London?" I asked Harry, not knowing his future plans for his time off.

"I'll probably just follow you back when you leave. Aren't you going back Monday morning?"

I shook my head, "No. I've got to go back Sunday night, I have to open the shop Monday."

"Ah." Harry didn't say anything else. There was so much tension in the air, I could almost see it.

"What's on your mind?"

"Huh?"

"You've been so quiet. You're thinking about something."

"Thinking about a lot, actually. Not one thing in particular, though."

"But you're thinking about something." I took a left on the road we were walking, starting to head to the pond near Harry's house.

"Yep."

"Why won't you tell me?"

"Because there's some things you won't tell me."

"So we're playing that game, are we?"

"I guess we are."

"Fine. I'll race you to the pond, whoever wins has to share their secret first." I started running, then yelled "Go!"

I heard Harry groan from behind me. When we were little, I always did this to Harry. I'd always bet him that I could beat him, but he always won. And sure enough, his long legs were carrying him in front of me before I knew it. When I caught up to him he was standing with his arms crossed like he had been waiting for hours.

"Spill." Harry said, sitting down and facing the small pond. I watched as the birds flew above us in the sky, and squirrels hopped from tree to tree. "El, you can tell me."

"I really don't know where to start, so I guess I'll start from the beginning?" I sighed again, trying to catch my breath and collect my thoughts. "After dad passed away, as you know, I had a hard time coping. I was seventeen and my dad was my best friend, I didn't know what to do without him."

"I thought I helped you."

"You did, believe me. You helped me more than anyone did. I started hanging out with the older kids at school, like Kailtin, and her friends."

"Yeah, I know."

"Well, I started going to their parties, and I started drinking more. I started drinking a lot more, Harry. I didn't want to say anything to you because I knew how far away you were, and I didn't want to worry you or upset you, so I just kept on. I kept on past graduation into uni, partying, getting shit faced every night. When I woke up hungover, I just drank to cure the hangover. I was a mess. I quit school because I was going to class drunk, and teachers started getting suspicious."

"You should've told me, I wouldn't have taken you-"

I held my hand up to silence Harry, I didn't want to look at his face. I could tell how upset he was getting just by the tone of his voice. "It's fine, really. I've got it under control. Last Christmas when you came home, I couldn't see you because I was in rehab. My mom forced me to go. I didn't want to tell anyone, so she went along with my lies I made up about where I was." I heard Harry suck a breath in, and he placed his hand on my leg. "Don't, please. Rehab didn't work. I don't drink as much as I used to, but I still don't know how to stop once I start."

"I can help you. God, I feel terrible for last night now."

"I don't want help, Haz. It won't help until I want it. I think my mom has given up on me completely. That's why she didn't really say anything about going out last night. I think she thinks maybe one day it'll just get better and I'll learn how to control myself. But that's not going to happen, I don't know what will happen." I sighed in defeat, laying back on the cushioned grass.

"You should have told me." I heard Harry's voice breaking as he leaned his arms forward on his knees. "Elle, why didn't you tell me?" He didn't move, just sat there, his back muscles twitching and becoming tense. "This is a serious problem, you know? Not just something that will go away. You do need help."

"I don't need help, I don't drink every night. Just when I go out."

"But you get sloshed when you go out. That's not healthy. You're not drinking to have fun, you're drinking to deal with your issues."

"I just don't know when to stop, that's my problem."

"Then don't start. Deal with your problems, don't drink them away. Drinking isn't going to make you get over Jack, and it's not going to help your dad come back to life." I retracted my breath at Harry's harsh words, and I knew he'd regret them immediately. He was still sitting as still as a statue, but wasn't turning around to apologize.

"Maybe you have changed."

"No, I haven't. I'm saying what I'm saying to you because I love you, and I care about you. I don't want you throwing your life away because of a stupid drinking problem." I could hear the anger rising in his voice. He turned around to face me and propped himself up on his side with his arm. "If you want me to help you, I will. Only drink around me, and I'll keep you under control. Once you realize you can drink and have fun without getting sloshed, you'll be trained to stop after a few drinks. I saw last night, so I know what your limit is, Elle. Please," He grabbed my hands and squeezed them. "Please, let me help you. If you don't let me help you, I'll just worry more."

"Fine, Harry." I agreed only to quiet him. I wasn't sure how this was going to work, but maybe it would. I let go of his hands and he hesitated, but finally did. "What's your problem?"

"Kendall."

I rolled my eyes. "Harry, you need to end that relationship or whatever the fuck it is. It's ridiculous that they're making you 'date' her. Is she even your girlfriend?"

"Not really. I mean we have to act like it in public, but when we're talking she's usually bitching to me about how I didn't hold her hand for a picture. She asked to come visit me in London, which is why I was in such an ill mood earlier."

"What are you going to say?"

"I told her no. That I wanted to see my friends and family. I can see her later. Believe me, El, I want this to be over too."

"Is there someone else you would rather be dating that you're thinking about?"

Harry hesitated, looking around at the bright blue skies above us. "Not really off the top of my head, no."

"Just use me to get out of it. Tell them while you were home you fell madly in love with your best friend since you were a little kid, and you can't fake the relationship with Kendall anymore. You can use me for a few months. I don't mind being in a few pictures. Even if you don't hold my hand." I winked at him, but Harry wasn't that amused.

"It's not that simple. If it was, I would've already ended it with Kendell. Let's just drop it, it's complicated. I've got a conference call with them on Monday morning that I'm going to say something to them about how miserable I am. She and I don't even act like a couple, you know? We go on dates, but she's on her phone half the time. I tried getting to know her. Even if we were just going to stay friends and look like we're dating, but she just has no interest in talking to me or getting to know me."

"That's not the Harry I knew."

"I know it's not, and I don't want people to find out that our management is controlling me like a puppet like this. I can't stand having to lie to fans. That's why I just don't say anything at all about it. My mom doesn't even know, she and my family would be so upset."

"I think Gemma suspects, or knows. She just doesn't say anything about it."

"I know she doesn't like Kendall. She just likes the whole family, because they're famous." He rolled his eyes.

"It'll be fine. Just calmly tell management how you feel and I'm sure you guys could work something out." I picked up a long piece of green grass and started twirling it in my fingers. "Thanks for not judging me, Haz."

"Princess, you're the last person I would judge on this earth." I blushed at the nickname Harry gave me from when I was 10. I was Princess Elle, and he was Prince Harry.

"Prince, I thank you for that." I said, faking as posh of an accent as I could. "But really, thank you. I do want you to help me through this, honestly. I wouldn't want anyone else to. Let's just take it easy and see how it goes."

"That's what I plan on." He laid back on his back, our shoulders and arms touching. I felt him reach for my hand as I simultaneously lifted my hand to shield my eyes from the sun above us.

"Something's different between you and I."

"I've noticed." I let out a chuckle at his bluntness. "You're shorter."

That made me laugh. "No, I haven't grown in years. You're taller. But that's not what I'm talking about." I placed my arm back down beside his, grabbing his hand. He reacted by turning his head to look at me, and shot one of his famous dimpled grins at me. I looked back up at the sky before I started talking. "I'm talking about... Us. We used to act like kids. Sneaking out, swimming in the pond when we knew we'd have a cold for two weeks after, staying up all night to watch movies, and now... Its like we grew up too much over these last three years, and there's just something different between the two of us. I can't put my finger on it."

"Hey." I looked back over at Harry, who had scooted his face closer to mine. "I think I know what it is."

"Oh, do you?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. I was nowhere near prepared for what happened next. Harry slowly leaned his face in, closing his eyes. I knew what was coming, and I did nothing to stop it. I could see our whole friendship flash before my eyes as his lips daintily touched mine. It was a soft, sweet kiss. One of the most powerful kisses I've ever had. Throughout our entire friendship, Harry and I had cuddled, hugged, slept together (not in that way), we even showered together in our bathing suits once. But never had we kissed. And I didn't actually mind it. Harry had grown into this handsome... Man. Before he left, he was a boy, there was no doubt about it. But he came back a man, with this air around him of confidence, something he never had before. I knew he was still the bashful, cheeky boy I grew up with deep down, but I didn't care about that as Harry's large hand wrapped around my neck to bring me in closer to him. Neither of us were fighting against the kiss, and we were slowly deepening the kiss, but when I felt Harry's tongue about to enter my mouth, I stopped, and he stopped. His bright green eyes were wide open, and I shut my mouth immediately.

"I'm so- so- sorry, El. I-" I shut him up by kissing him again, with more want and need. There was a part of me that had always been attracted to my best friend, somewhere deep down. I never thought it would work out because when does that ever work out? I never thought either of us would kiss each other. But we were two attractive people who had remained best friends their whole lives, wondering what the others lips would feel like on their own. I had thought about it before, but I never thought I'd be kissing my best friend.

I pulled back from the kiss, and looked into his eyes that held confusion, "I'll finish your last sentence for you. You should have done that a long time ago, Harry."

"R-really?"

"You're a good kisser. I'm sad I missed out on all those years with watching you snog all of those girls at our little high school parties."

We both plopped back on the ground, both breathing a little from what had just happened.

"Did that really just happen?" Harry asked, "Because I never-"

"Thought that would happen, yeah, me neither." I lay looking straight up at the sky, avoiding the glare of his eyes.

"Thoughts?"

"It wasn't bad. What do we do next?"

"Have you really never gone further than kissing with a boy? Usually next-" He held up his hands like he was about to demonstrate something.

"Harry, I don't mean like that."

"I know, I know. I'm not sure. How did it make you feel though? Like..."

"Did it erupt something inside of me, did I see fireworks? No. It just felt... Good. Like all of the tension that was between the two of us the last few days, just disappeared with that kiss."

"Y-yeah, same here."

"Are you just saying that or...?" I asked, rolling over to lay half on top of Harry, my chin resting on his chest.

"I'm not just saying that. I think we just got more attractive over the last few years and we both were curious. It was nice. I didn't mind it at all."

"Yeah, I agree." I laid there a few more seconds, watching Harry chew on his gum. I laid my head on his chest, and felt his right arm wrap around my shoulder, but then it moved up to my hair and he pulled it out of a bun and started running his fingers through it, making me sleepy and sleepier by the second.

---

"Dinner was really wonderful, Anne. Thank you so much! I had missed your spaghetti." I politely smiled, and watched as Harry took our empty plates off the table.

"Harry, just place those in the sink, I'll just wash them a bit later. Elle, you know you're more than welcome to come over here for spaghetti anytime you'd like! I miss seeing you around the house. You two used to be inseparable."

"She is not allowed over here without me! That's not fair. I can't have you seeing her more than I get to see her." Harry protested like a child, stomping his boot clad foot on the ground and all.

"Maybe if you came home more often, we could all see her!" Gemma interjected from her seat at the table. She had been a little quiet the whole dinner, she had hungover written all over her face.

I helped Anne clean up the kitchen as Harry was upstairs in his bedroom picking out a movie. Which probably meant he was cleaning it up. "He's been pacing circles the last two days before you got here waiting for you to come home. I'm surprised there's not a hole in the kitchen floor from how many times he's walked back and forth."

"Mum, I'm right here." Harry appeared in the doorway of the kitchen, in a cream colored sweater, and a pair of black skinnies. "Changed into something more comfortable."

I rolled my eyes, "Find the movie?"

"Yup! I'm ready to go watch it if you are."

"I'm making tea in about an hour if you guys want to take a movie break and have some tea."

"That sounds lovely, I'll send Harry down to get my cup for me." I smiled and winked at Anne as we made our way up the stairs. It felt different coming up to Harry's room now. Like we needed to keep the door open. None of his family had ever been suspicious of something happening between Harry and I so why would they now? My conscience was driving me insane. I was being too paranoid. I sat down on the edge of Harry's bed and watched as he put in one of our favorite movies.

"You can lay down on the bed, you know."

"Actually I was planning on awkwardly sitting on the edge while you were reclined on the bed, relaxing." I joked, scooting back on the bed so my back met the backboard. I curled my legs up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them, trying to get warm. Harry's room was always frigid. This was when we discovered we could cuddle, because Harry was a living, breathing heater.

Harry walked out of the room for a second without saying a word, then walked back in with an extra blanket. "Here," He threw it at me. "That should help." I wrapped myself up in the blanket, still sitting up. "Save some for me!"

"Or we can just get under the covers like we used to." He trailed off, walking to his side of the bed and pulling back the covers and getting under. I followed suit, but felt like I needed to keep my distance from him. The movie started and I kept my attention on it the whole time. I felt Harry sneaking glances at me at all the times he thought I would cry, but now that I was older, it was harder for me to hold back my tears. I started to cry to myself, quietly. I tried to wipe my eyes as subtly as possible, but Harry was just laughing, and wrapped his arm around me and pulled me over to him. "You can cry. I won't make fun of you like I used to. If I were a girl, I'd cry at this part too."

Harry's hand started wandering on my side, and he started fumbling with the bottom of my shirt. He stopped after a few seconds, and just rested his hand on my hip. My skin felt like it was on fire from every touch he gave me. I had stopped crying, but my emotions were still going in every different direction possible. I leaned into Harry more, cuddling into his chest. We used to do this all the time. Harry's hand absentmindedly moved from my hip to my back. He started rubbing circles into my back, all the while making my shirt slowly ride up my back. Next thing I knew, his bare, warm, rough fingers were rubbing circles into my lower back, making me twitch and squirm slightly. I looked up at Harry and he had the biggest smirk on his face.

"What?" He asked, straight faced while still rubbing circles on me.

"That tickles."

"But your chill bumps tell me that you don't want me to stop."

I looked at him for another second, before I went back to watch the last 30 minutes of the movie. We remained like that the rest of the night. Laying there, watching movies, Harry rubbing circles on my shoulder, on my back, in comfortable silence. I knew I was developing feelings for Harry, and I'm pretty sure he was too, but how could I know for sure? He said the kiss got rid of all of the sexual tension between the two of us so what if he believed there was nothing left?