Just for a Moment: Truths

•a week later•

"Okay see you later." Kellin smiled kissing my cheek, he ran down the hallway towards Katelyn who gave me a half wave. I return with a smile and turn my body towards the door barging into Andy. He was always my Prince Charming even though I told Kellin i don't need a saviour, Kellin was not my Saviour the man in front of me is.

"Ouch." I moan connecting my butt with the floor.

"Jeez, Clara." He laughs making me giggle. "Take my hand."

I still don't like when people touch me, just Kellin and even he is careful because he knows what affect will do. "Its okay." I smile weakly at him pushing myself up, Andrew did not listen and with a swift move I was in his arms. His lips two inches apart from mine, I deeply inhale feeling the tension growing stronger and heavier making me grow closer towards him.

"Hey!" Startling both I and Andy again I pushed back pushing my hands in my pockets.

"Oh thank God." I breathe seeing Jinxx who had his brow arch.

"Huh?" Jinxx ask confused.

"I am sorry." I whisper practically running out of the room, oh yeah that's not suspicious at all.

I stopped out of breathe at an open rehearsal room holding on the door-jam.

"Uh..." I look up to see the entire All Time Low looking at me.

"Can we help you?" My eyes wide my mouth open, I am standing in the same room as All Time Low. I never met them before, this is unreal. I thought they are at 'Hopeless Records' not Viral Records?

"Sorry.... I...uh..." Rambling awkwardly I turn slowly around walking away but someone caught my arm. With a swift move I see it was Alex Gaskarth, his hand on my arm. I was never a rock fan, but I was always a ATL fan, its either them or Mozart's and Bach's.

"Are you lost?" I shook my head slowly. I could not speak. "Why are you out of breathe?" My eyes still wide not knowing what to say.

"Oh hi, Clara." I cock my head to one side seeing Adam coming out of the room.

"Hiiiiiii." Biting down on my lower lip.

"You okay sweety?" Adam knows about my sickness, most of the producers do, and to my surprise they always asked me if I am okay. Do I not look okay?

"Fine." I whisper eyeing Alex's hand on my arm. He quickly yanked it away as he saw my face expression, and If I was standing in front of a mirror I would run away from myself.

"You sure dear Clara?" Adam asked again removing his reading glasses, pushing Alex in the room. Okay?

"Okay, go." I say pointing down the hallway. Not waiting for his response I ran down the hallway into the ladies room.

I search the bathroom to see if there is people in but no. With my reflection gazing at me I notice my cheeks begin to turn red, hands begin to shake and the fear I was hiding came out to play.

'You know you want to.' She begins to talk.

"No, I am better." I respond shaking my head side to side.

'Oh come on, its just a simple little cut, a simple pill, just do it!' She yells again. I look up in the mirror seeing her reflection, she was grinning from ear to ear,

'We need it Clara, its been weeks.' She says holding out five pills in her pale hand. I look down seeing the pills in my hand. 'See, we need it'

Closing my eyes I popped the pills in my mouth washing it down with a bit of water from the tap, opening my eyes slowly I notice she was gone, now it was just me, my reflection doing what I am doing and not the other way around. She was gone yet again, my own fear has vanished but knowing her she will come out again and play, making me want to die. Why now? Why did she appear now after two weeks? The ground pulled me down as I crash on the cold yellow tile floor holding my stomach crying waiting till she drowns me. But no I won't let it happen. I finally can have a life. Its not just my APD that fears me.

I am my own worst fear, she is me.