Room With No Windows

The middle of the week dragged. I was more than ready for it to be Friday so Elsa and I could leave to Ohio. It would be a nice opportunity to get away from everything, at least while we were on our way there.
In the meantime, I could prepare my duffel bag early. I didn't know if she wanted to stay just the whole weekend or longer. Digging under my bed for anything I might need, I come across a box and pull it out. The first thing I notice was Joey's old polaroid camera on top of the pile of old stuff. I stare at it for a moment before setting it aside to see what else I could find. There were certain things I hadn't thrown away yet. I'd completely forgotten that I even had some of her stuff.
My hands come across a soft fabric and I instantly recognize the bandanna she gave me. I ball it up in my fist, angry at myself for hanging onto all of it for so long. I throw it back into the box along with the camera, the memories rushing back. At least I couldn't remember what pictures we took or if we ever used that damn camera at all.
It was better that way.

I finish packing the essentials and decide to go out to grab a bite to eat. The closest thing was the old cafe but I was afraid of going in there alone. Instead, I choose to make a trip to the grocery store to make something at home.
While picking out some vegetables, I hear the woman beside me curse under her breath as her bag falls to the floor and limes come tumbling out. I bend down to help out, staring at the platform shoes she was wearing at the same time I hear that unmistakable voice.
"Oh, I'm sorry-John?"
I hesitate before I look up, her wide eyed look surely matching mine. Shit, I think. I should've gone to the coffee shop.
She fumbles with the designer hand bag on her arm and clears her throat. I finish filling the bag and stand, my mouth a straight firm line. "Hey, Joey."
"Hey," she mutters. She offers me a smile. "It's good to see you."
I run a hand along my jaw, smiling tightly. "Yeah. How are you?"
"I'm good."
"Good."
We stand there awkwardly, silent. I hand her the bag and she receives it. "Th-thanks. I'm sorry about the other day, by the way. I hadn't known you were going to stop by your parents. And I didn't know you were going to bring Elsa. Really, if I had known, I would've-"
"Hey, it's okay," I chuckle nervously. "It's no big deal."
She nods, her dyed ombre hair bouncing. It was a lot shorter.
"She's a really nice girl," Joey says. "She's really sweet. I'm glad I got to meet her."
"I'm glad," I tell her earnestly. At least she wasn't holding a grudge. The last thing I would want is for her to have anything against Elsa because of me. But was she holding anything against me?
I clear my throat and run a hand through my hair. "Well, I should probably get going."
Joey nods again, her thin lips pressing together but the corners lifting. I remember when she would smile at me like that and her eyes would light up. They looked so sad now.
"I know things ended rocky," I blurted out. "But I'm happy you're back in Arizona and haven't totally left everything behind."
She shakes her head. "I could never do that. I'd feel guilty if I didn't keep in touch."
"Good," I mutter. "And if it counts for anything, I'm still sorry-"
"You have nothing to apologize for," she sighs. "I understand. We were both in different mindsets back then and it didn't go well. Things just weren't meant to work out."
"No," I chuckle. "I just wasn't meant for you."
She laughs lightly. "Well I guess we could agree on that. I'll see you around, John." She pauses. "And do your best to make Elsa happy, will you? You'd have to be an idiot to fuck things up with her."
I nod, giving a small wave as we parted ways down the aisle. It hadn't been the ideal closure, but it sure felt a hell of a lot better after having at least known where we each stood. A weight had lifted from my shoulders.
Maybe this is what I needed to finally let go.
After paying at the register, I make my way to my truck with my bags and settle in before starting the engine.
When I arrive at my parents' house, I find Elsa sitting on the couch with my dad. They were watching a baseball game on the tv.
"Please," Elsa giggles. "The Indians can stomp the Diamondbacks any day, Jay."
"Watch what you say about the D-backs, sweetheart," I chuckle, smirking at her.
She looks up and smiles. "Oh. Hey, John."
I walk over and bend down to kiss her forehead. "I didn't know you like baseball."
Her eyelashes bat playfully at me. "It's the only sport I can actually understand."
"Sure it is," I tease, ignoring my dad's smug look. He seemed to get a kick out of me finally having a girlfriend.
I sit and watch with them for a while. After a few more innings of the game, Elsa decides to return to my room, insisting I join her.
The room was a lot cleaner than I remember it, and I can't help but stiffen. She went through my stuff?
"You tidied up in here, huh," I mutter, suddenly anxious. I really hope she hadn't found anything she wasn't supposed to. Because I couldn't remember whether my old collection of photos were here or somewhere under my bed in Peter's garage.
"Yeah," she sighs as she plops down and sits cross legged. "I get bored pretty easily."
I chuckle. "I can tell."
"I was gonna ask you, what are those shelves for?"
"Oh, that was for my collection of trophies and awards for baseball."
"But there's only one award there."
"Yes, I'm aware of that, thank you." I shoot her a lopsided grin. "I SUCKED."
She giggles. "Oh. Sorry?"
I roll my eyes, smiling. "I'm kidding. My mom shoved them away in a box somewhere. I told her to leave this one because it was the one I was most proud of."
"Which is?" she asks curiously.
"Most improved," I say shrugging.
Ellie smiles, standing up to rest her chin on my chest. "What position were you?"
"Mostly short stop," I murmur, snaking my arms around her waist. She giggles at my hand lightly resting on her butt. "By the way, I'm all packed for this weekend."
"You sure?" she challenges, tugging me towards the bed. I chuckle and lean over her. "Yep."
She smirks. "Condoms?"
My eyes widen, my face burning up. Shit, was she serious?
Her laughter comes bursting out. "I'm kidding! Geez. But it's good that you're all packed. I am too."
"You sure about that?" I tease her, making a mental a note to actually pack some condoms just in case. "You have half of your things over at my place."
"Just throw them in your bag for me," she whispers, reaching up to clutch my shoulders. I shiver as her fingers slip under my shirt to my back. Her lips press against my neck and I groan. "What were we talking about again?"
She giggles and pulls away. I sigh, climbing off of her before I changed my mind.
I already knew she was going to make this trip memorable.

On Friday morning, I cleared out everything from beneath my bed. I stare at the box filled with all the items that belonged to Joey or were affiliations to that time with her. I pull out a smaller white cardboard that held a stack of photos. I weight it in my hands, feeling my lips press together and my expression blank. I drop it next to the box, knowing that I'd have to get rid of all of it for good, along with the rest of her belongings. It probably wouldn't have been too bad to give her back whatever was hers, but I didn't want any connection with her whatsoever. So I leave the box aside.
Right beside it was my duffel bag with the few things I still had to fit inside. I move that to the foot of the bed and sort out the clothes I was taking. It was sprawled everywhere, even on top of the box.
"Some mess you got there," Peter says as he enters the room from the kitchen.
"I'm still more organized than you," I say, smirking. He chuckles. "Want me to help you out?"
"It's cool, I'm gonna throw most of this stuff away later, anyway."
My phone rings and I make my way to the coffee table to answer. "Hello?"
"Hey, John, did I leave my spare phone there?"
"The emergency one you brought?" I ask, scanning the room for it.
"Yeah," she answers. "I've looked everywhere, but I can't find it. I can't remember if I left it over there or not."
I look on the small table beside the couch. "Well, I'll search for it, but if anything we have my phone-"
She sighs. "Yeah, I know. I just want to take it just to be safe."
Safe. Protection.
Shit.
"Shit," I mutter under my breath, racing over to the other side of the room and rummaging through my stuff.
"What?" she asks.
"Nothing," I tell her. "I'll look for your phone. Are you sure you brought it?"
"Hey, are you taking this, man?" Peter asks. "Do you want me to stuff it in your bag?"
"Yeah, just put everything out on the bed in there," I tell him, not bothering to look over at him. All I had was mine and Elsa's clothes still out.
"Wait, what?" Elsa mutters.
"Sorry, I was talking to Peter," I huff, still looking for the foil pack. I had to have something.
"Oh. Well, I definitely brought it. You're picking me up, right?"
I hold the phone between my ear and shoulder, cradling it as I searched. "Yeah, I'll be there in twenty minutes. I've gotta go. See you in a bit, okay?"
"Okay. I love you."
I smile involuntarily. "Love you, too, Ellie. See you soon."
I hang up and curse aloud. Peter laughs. "What the fuck are you looking for?"
"Nothing, don't worry about it," I mutter. "Have you seen a phone around here?"
"You mean the one on the counter?" he asks, pointing behind me. I turn around and mentally kick myself.
Well, that was one problem solved.

After ten minutes of digging around, I finally found some protection and rush to my car, making a mental run through and double checking the list of things in my head. I was all set.
Elsa was waiting for me outside with my parents, giving each of them a hug and waving as she walked down the driveway. I grin as she hops in and we give my folks a final farewell before driving off.
"Did you find my phone?" she asks as she turns to me.
"Yep."
"And you brought my clothes?"
"Check."
"Your clothes?"
I dramatically slap my palm to my forehead. "Fuck, I completely forgot!"
She rolls her eyes at my sarcasm. "I'm just making sure."
I chuckle. "Darlin', don't worry. We wouldn't need any of that stuff, anyway."
"We wouldn't need clothes?"
"Just one change for public appearances," I say with a smirk and wink. She laughs, linking our hands. We spend the next few hours comfortably listening to the radio. Her head nestles between my shoulder and neck, and I drape an arm around her, content. It made me happy to see her so happy and excited to be going back home.
It didn't take long for her to get impatient, though. After she woke up from a brief nap, she kept complaining that she was bored.
"Johnnn, we've been driving for hours," she whines.
"We'll pull over to eat something in a bit."
I pull up to a red light and she straddles my lap, raising an eyebrow. Thank the lord we weren't on the freeway yet.
"Elsa, this is dangerous," I warn her, urging her to slide over. She stays put, instead resting her hands on my chest. I suck in a sharp breath as they trail down my stomach.
I try prying her off one last time but she wouldn't budge. The light turns green and I smirk, stepping on the gas. She lurches forward, bumping into me. She finally moves out of the way while glaring at me. I laugh before finally pulling over to eat. It was still early evening, so there was light out.
We find a nice rest stop and I park beside the benches. It was empty aside from the people inside the small gift shops.
Elsa and I both buy something to munch on, and I buy a water and sandwich sub to share. We climb into the bed of my truck, Elsa sitting across from me, her legs in my lap.
She giggles when I trail up and down with my finger, chewing on her half of the sub. "Cut it out."
I chuckle, removing my hand, and resume eating. She sighs. "We're more than halfway there."
"You excited?"
She nods, grinning. "I can't wait to see my brother. He's supposed to be in town, so it'll be nice having the whole family together. Plus, they can all meet you."
I bite my lip. "Are you sure they're not going to think I kidnapped you?"
"No," she laughs. "I already explained the whole story to my mother. And Nicky already cleared everything up with my dad about why I had to go back to Arizona."
"Do you think they'll like me?" I mumble, ripping off a piece of bread.
Elsa sits up on her knees. "Of course they will. They're completely grateful of what you did for me, John."
I raise an eyebrow. "They are?"
She nods and I feel a sense of relief surge through me. At least I wasn't getting off on the wrong foot with them.
"Quit worrying," she giggles. "Even if they despised you and hated your guts they wouldn't have a choice but to accept you."
I chuckle. "She was right, I'd have to be seriously stupid to fuck things up with you."
Elsa's face falls. "She?"
My jaw clenches. Fuck, I probably shouldn't have mentioned that part.
"You talked to Joey?" she mutters halfheartedly.
"I ran into her at the store and we chatted," I tell her, moving closer. "Elsa, it wasn't a big deal, it didn't mean anything-"
"Maybe not to you," she scoffs, pushing me away when I try to reach for her arm. "I'm trying my hardest not to be the jealous type, but you make it really hard."
I frown. "I'm sorry. But you have nothing to be jealous about; what we had is over now. I told you everything, Ellie, I'm over her."
She glares at me. "That doesn't change the fact that you were under her at one point."
My eyes widen. "Elsa-"
"I'm jealous of what you had with her, okay?" she snaps. "And quite frankly, I'm intimated by it. How do you think I felt after knowing you guys had such a long history? And that you slept together. When we haven't even-" She takes a deep breath, shaking her head and looking away. "Maybe I shouldn't have told you to tell me."
I sit right in front of her, urging her to look at me. "Elsa, I'll say it again. You have nothing to be jealous about. What we had? We didn't have anything. It wasn't even a relationship, it was just a dysfunctional situation. Neither of us were happy." I take her face in my hands. "That was nothing. This? This is something. Maybe it's just the start and we don't even know it, but I'm happy with you and that's not going to change. No one, past or present, can make me love them more than you. There's only one kind of girl that can do that, and that's the kind with hazel eyes, honey brown chestnut hair, five foot six, that has a scar on her back."
She laughs lightly and casts her eyes down. I slowly press my lips to hers, pulling away to watch her eyes open. I lick my lips. "You're it for me, Ellie. No one else."
Her shoulders relax and she sighs. "How do you always manage to do that?"
"What?"
"Say the right thing."
I chuckle. "I have no idea. Maybe it's from years of always saying the wrong thing."
She smiles and curls into me. My arms tighten around her, her face warm in my chest. We stayed that way until the sky turned dark around us. The night was beautiful, with an endless array of stars over our heads.
I cup her chin, pulling her face towards mine to close the distance. I felt a serene calm fall over me as I pull her into my lap to face me. She slips her hand beneath my shirt, helping me take it off. I return the favor before caressing her cheek. I reach up with both hands and lean in, our mouths fusing together perfectly. My heart was ready to burst out of my chest, but I ignore it. I didn't feel any pressure to rush things and I didn't plan to. The moment was too special to go any faster than the pace we were at now.
Elsa pulls away and studies me, her eyes searching for mine. I brush my thumb against her bottom lip, captivated by how beautiful she looked.
"I love you," she whispers so quietly it was barely a breath.
I kiss her shoulder softly. "I love you."
Our bodies continued to move together slowly. My hands never left her flawless skin, and I made sure my lips were always touching a part of her. I made my way up to her jaw, listening for her small sighs and gasps. She even had a way of making breathing sound beautiful.
My arm slips around her waist, my hand resting on her lower back. She leans down to kiss my chest. Her nose nuzzles my neck, sending a shiver up my spine.
Elsa's mouth finally meets with mine again and I groan. Inside, my head was spinning and I was trying to figure out what right thing I could have possibly said to get here and be so lucky.
Or maybe all it took was saying I love you to finally realize what was the right thing all along.

"We're here!"
I chuckle as I pull up to the brick house at the end of the street. She hardly gives me a chance to stop the truck before she runs out. "Elsa!"
Her sister Nicky comes racing outside and they wrap up in a huge hug. Quickly parking, I climb out, walking up to them.
"I'm so glad you're here," her sister sniffs, still holding her tightly. "I missed you so much."
"Stop it, you're gonna make me cry," Ellie sighs, breaking away. She smiles. "Where's mom?"
Nicky guides us inside to the dining room and I watch from afar as Elsa finally reunites with her parents, enveloping them in a big hug.
"Oh, my little girl," her mother croaks. "You're home."
Ellie whimpers and I bite my lip. They'd really missed her. And so had she.
"Welcome back, baby," her father greets her as they pull away.
"Hey, daddy," she tells him teary eyed. A man approaches from behind and she gasps. "Tristan!"
She throws her arms around who I assume is her brother and he chuckles. "Hey, sis. Welcome home."
"Thank you," she tells them. She looks at me, smiling. "Oh, this is John."
Everyone suddenly turns to me by the doorway, with our bags in hand.
I clear my throat, holding out my free arm. Tristan is the first one to take it and I sigh in relief. Her father shakes my hand next and he has a strong grip. "Thank you for watching over Elsa for. We are extremely lucky to have had you take her in and protect her. We don't know how we could ever repay you."
"There is no need, sir," I say seriously. "Keeping Elsa safe is my first priority."
"Oh, bless your soul," her mother sniffs, kissing me on the cheek. "Why don't you two go take your bags upstairs and then you can come down for dinner?"
Elsa smiles widely before snatching my hand and pulling me toward the stairs. She takes me to her room, giggling before jumping on top of me, her legs wrapping around my waist. I luckily keep my balance and chuckle. "What's gotten into you?"
"I'm just happy you're here," she whispers.
I smile softly. "Me too. I'm gonna change my shirt. It doesn't seem fitting to wear to a family dinner."
"Good idea. My dad and brother are a fan of Tom Petty, by the way."
I kiss her quickly before setting her on her feet and grabbing the shirt that was right on top.
She giggles as I race into the bathroom. "Where do you have my phone?"
"Check the first zipper," I reply as I pull my shirt over my head, a huge grin on my face. This all felt so natural and I was relieved.
When I stepped out, Elsa was still and the phone was beside her on the floor. I raise an eyebrow. Why was she just standing there?
I lean down to pick up the phone and freeze when I finally see what she was staring at.
She has the small white box in her hands. And she'd taken the photos out.
Fuck.
"Elsa, this wasn't supposed to be in here," I say quickly. "I was cleaning out all of my old things. Peter put in there by mistake, I-I had everything on the bed, so he must have gotten it mixed up."
But she wasn't listening. She was looking at polaroid after polaroid of Joey and I. Kissing, laughing, making out, in bed, in nothing but a bed sheet.
I was too terrified to make a single move. "Elsa, I-"
"Get out."
My stomach pangs with guilt. This couldn't be happening.
"Please just listen," I whisper.
"I've seen enough!" she cries, throwing the photos to the ground. "I don't want to hear your bullshit excuses!"
She pushes my chest, her eyes flooded with tears. "Just leave! Fucking leave!"
"Elsa," I croak, my throat tight. No, no, no.
"What's going on?" Her brother barges in.
Ellie wipes her cheeks. "Get him out. Just get him out."
Tristan scowls at me. "What did you do?"
"Nothing! She won't let me explain-"
Nicky comes in and looks at me. "John? Just go. I'll handle this."
I look between her and Elsa in a frenzy. I couldn't leave. I couldn't let her think I'd meant to hurt her.
"Give her time," Nicky whispers, and I nod mechanically, making my way down the stairs. Her parents ask what's wrong, but all I could do was walk out of their home and shut the door behind me, getting into my truck for the night.