Room With No Windows

Glass. Shatter. Noise. Lots of noise. Ambulance. More noise. Sirens.
It's all that rang in my ears as I drove to the hospital.
My hands tighten on the steering wheel. They hadn't let me into the ambulance with her. That must mean that she was fragile; that she needed all the medical attention she could get.
I stumble out of my car in the parking lot and past the automatic doors. It took me two minutes to talk to the front desk before taking off in a run through the hallways to her floor. I didn't even take the elevator.
The blood was pounding in my ears as I exit onto the right floor.
"Sir, you can't be on this floor without-"
"My girlfriend is in there," I say through clenched teeth.
The nurse asks for her name, looking down at a clipboard and furrowing her brows. "She's in surgery. You're going to have to wait out here until they take her to her room. Even then, only family are-"
"Her sister is in this very hospital and is still recovering. Her parents don't even know yet. I'm just about the only family she'll have when she wakes up. And they won't know if she's okay if I can't see her." I tighten my fists and I could feel them shaking. I needed to know if she's okay.
The woman sighs, gesturing towards the chairs in the corner. "You can wait here."
After an excruciating hour of waiting, I notice someone being wheeled in and stand at a distance. The doctor wipes his brow by the door while his assistants attend to the frail person on the bed. There was no mistaking the mane of light brown, almost caramel colored hair spilling across the pillow.
"Elsa," I croak, though there's no one around to hear me. She looked so...feeble.
"Excuse me," I mumble when I approach. "I-Is she going to be alright?"
The doctor sighs as he looks at me. "She was in pretty bad condition, but nothing too critical. A shard of glass pierced her collarbone and she broke a few ribs, that's about the worst of it. We're just lucky that didn't glass didn't get any closer to her heart. She's stable now. Just give her some time to rest."
I swallow the lump in my throat and nod. I wait for the nurses to check her vitals before they exit the room. Quietly, I slip inside and stand at her side. There was a cut above her brow and I could see the stitches poking out of her hospital gown, just near her neck. If the glass had gone through anywhere else...
I didn't even want to think about it.
My eyes sting and I collapse into the chair beside the bed. She'd gotten out of this with only a few scrapes and bruises and I was so relieved.
The scene replays in my head and I could feel the anger boiling up inside me. He'd meant to do this. Months ago, Isaac was supposed to marry her and spend their lives together. He was supposed to love her.
That worthless scum didn't know what love was.
"I'm so sorry I let this happen," I sigh as I gently smooth her hair down. "You'd be safe if you weren't around me, Ellie. I thought I was protecting you but...I've only made everything fucking complicated." My voice drops to a whisper and I drop my head into my hands. He'd gotten her family involved and he willingly used them to hurt Elsa. He had no remorse for this.
My phone vibrates in my pocket and I dig it out. I rise from my seat to answer. "Hello?"
"Tell me you got to her in time."
My stomach wrenches guiltily. How did I tell her? How could I tell her that I'd witnessed her little sister get into an accident?
"We're in room 413," I mutter softly. When she doesn't respond, I add, "Just some bumps and bruises. The doctor said she's got broken ribs and a cut on her collarbone, but that's it. Nothing major. She's okay, Nicky."
"Thank God," she says through a broken sob. "I-I'll be down there as soon as I can, okay? Stay with her until my parents go down. They're talking to the police. That bastard's not getting away with this."
I nod as we exchange goodbyes and hangup, looking back at the frail girl with sunken eyes. She had no idea this was going to happen to her, and we did. She probably didn't even know yet that it was Isaac that hit her.
And that he meant to.
What if he tried to do something like this again? What if he was only doing this in spite of me? He was jealous and vengeful. He wanted Ellie to himself, for the mere reason that she had always been his.
He didn't love her, I realize. He only loved having her in his possession.
No, love was worrying with every ounce of your life on your way to the hospital, doing anything and everything you have to just to get to her. Love was sitting at her bedside and holding her hand and wishing you could take her suffering away. Love was standing right outside her door, talking to her sister and doing everything possible to keep her from getting in harms way again. Love was wanting to go back in time, to keep her in your arms and never let her go and preventing this from ever happening.
This was love.
But if I loved her, then keeping her safe mattered more than being able to look at her and tell her that. I had to protect her.
I wouldn't let my love ruin her life.

She was still asleep when her family appeared, and I talked to Nicky to make sure something was being done about Isaac. After that, I knew what I had to do.
Her family would take care of it. They'd take care of her.
When they're out of the room, I kneel beside Elsa one last time, running my knuckles along her cheek. She looked way better rested than before, but I was grateful she was still sleeping. Having to face her awake would have been that much harder.
"I'm going back to Arizona, Ellie," I whisper softly. "I'd say I'm going home, but you're right here and I can't take you with me this time. You need to recover." I wipe my eyes with the back of my hand before bringing hers up to my lips. "I know you'll miss me, but it's what's best for now until we're sure you'll be safe. I'll stay away and if you choose to keep living your own life, then I'll understand. You can put this horrible chapter behind you and move on. This'll all be in the past. You can keep going to college and meet someone new. Someone that won't remind you all that you went through. Your future will be in your own hands." I think I see her eyes flutter and I pause. Maybe I had imagined it, or maybe I secretly wanted that she had. But she remains completely still. I bite down hard on my lip as my hand clasps hers tightly, for the last time. "I know you won't understand it when you wake up. You'll probably hate me. But I want you to know something: I'm doing it because I love you. I love you, so much that I know that I have to do this. This isn't me saying goodbye. You can call me whenever you want, if you wanted to. Hell, you could show up on my doorstep and I wouldn't turn you away. But I'm sort of hoping that you'll hate me. Because if I know if you ever do that, I'll have to let you go and I don't want to do that. I don't want to do it now." I caress her temple and swallow thickly. "But I-I'm not letting you go, Elsa. I'm never going to let you go. I just need to...let you go on without me for a while." My lips press firmly to her forehead. Even with the stuffy hospital smell, I could feel her warm sweet scent fill my nose. I wasn't sure how I'd spend my waking hours without her.
"Feel better, Ellie. I hope that this doesn't just make your life more of a mess. That has a tendency of happening when I try to protect someone I care about from myself." I sigh and stand. "I love you, Elsa Thompson."
I give her forehead one last kiss before making my way out of the room and the hospital like a ghost. Usually when I drove away from her I had the comfort of knowing I'd be with her again soon.
But this time, as I drove back to my home state and making the miles between us longer, I knew the distance between us would stay.