Room With No Windows

"John, there's no food!"
"We'll go get something to eat."
"But I'm STARVING. I won't make it to the door."
I roll my eyes. "Quit being so dramatic."
Elsa pouts and plops down onto a stool. "Can we just order a pizza for delivery? I really don't feel like going out."
"You're just too lazy to put some pants on," I chuckle. Oh yeah, I should mention that she stopped wearing pants around me. She figured that if she wants me to kiss her that tempting me with cute underwear would be the easiest way. I'm surprised that I've restrained myself for so long. Impressed, really.
The only reason I haven't laid a finger on her was because she was still technically engaged. And as badly as I wanted to convince myself that it was okay because her fiancee was a dick, my morals wouldn't allow me.
Regardless of whatever scheme was brewing in her head, I order pizza because I didn't feel like going out, either. And that had nothing to do with the fact that I liked seeing her in nothing but a shirt.
Elsa gathers her hair up into a clip she bought the other day and smiles. "Hope you got the stuffed crust."
I scoff. "Of course."
We head back into my room, my eyes glued to the back of her head in order to prevent them from...wandering.
She sits down on my bed and sighs, a few strands of hair falling loose. For a split second I imagined myself tucking them behind her ear before climbing on top of her. She made it so difficult to not make a move.
"John?"
I shake my head. "Huh?"
She points her chin toward the opposite wall. "Why do you have a gumball machine?"
"Oh," I chuckle, looking at the candy dispenser. "Honestly, it was on sale at a garage sale so I bought it."
"Do you actually use it?"
I shrug. "Sometimes."
Elsa stands from the bed and starts walking around. "What about all this other stuff? I never realized how much you owned." She smirks. "Or maybe you're just a hoarder."
"Who knows, maybe I am," I tease. "I kept you, didn't I?"
She narrows her eyes, pretending to be mad. I chuckle. "I actually use most of these things."
"Even this?" Her fingers skim along the keyboard I had propped against the wall.
I smile. "Especially that."
Walking over, I grab the folded up stand and set it up, lifting the keyboard onto it before turning it on. She grins. "Play something."
I start playing chopsticks purposely bad, wearing a crooked smile as I look up at her. She crosses her arms, suppressing a smile of her own. "I'm serious."
Without thinking, I start playing These Four Words. I feel a forlorn look on my face as my fingers dance along the keys. I stop myself from continuing and play something else, but I was just playing the same four notes over again.
"Was that one of your songs?" she asks solemnly.
I nod, silent. It made me think of her every time, despite the countless times I've played it live. I always saw her face.
Elsa walks over to me and slips her arms around my waist as she rests her cheek on my shoulder. She stares up at me, giving a small smile. I exhale, resting my head on top of hers and my hands on her hips. I absentmindedly trace where her scar lied through her shirt.
"Someone hurt you," she says matter-of-factly.
I bite my lip. "I was the one doing the hurting, Ellie."
She pulls away, frowning. "What?"
"I told her I didn't love her," I croak. The memory was still fresh as day.
"Why?"
"Because it was a lie," I answer, even though that probably confused her. "She deserved better. Someone that could return what they feel better than I ever could."
She shakes her head. "I don't get it. You loved her, but you didn't?"
"I loved her, but I was bad at expressing it," I explain, realizing I was still holding onto her. "My version of love wasn't enough for girls like her. I didn't want to let her down...so I let her go."
Elsa holds me tighter. "I'm sorry."
I sigh into her hair. "Thanks. I pretty much deserve it. I did this to myself."
"Don't say that," she mutters. "Things happen."
She looks up at me and I give her a good long look. "You're so different from her, it's crazy."
A soft color creeps up into her cheeks. "Is that a good thing?"
I smirk. "I'm not sure yet. I'm still trying to figure out if you're even more dangerous or not."
She slowly bites her lip. "I can be if you want me to."
There's a pang in my stomach. "Don't tempt me."
"It's all I've been doing, but you won't exactly cooperate."
I let out a laugh. "I see."
"John...why won't you kiss me?"
She waits for me to respond, but I'm not sure what to tell her.
"Because I respect you," I answer. "What can I say, I'm old fashioned."
She huffs and I smile. "Ellie. You're engaged. And even though I don't exactly agree with it, I acknowledge it."
"And if I wasn't engaged?"
"I'd probably have you pinned on the bed," I answer honestly.
I watch as she steps back and looks down at her hand and, without even blinking an eye, removes her ring.
My eyes widen. "Elsa-"
She stuffs it in her breast pocket and takes a deep breath. "I'm waiting."
Was she insane? She couldn't possibly be thinking straight right now.
I find myself moving closer to her and instead of reaching for her lips with mine, I dig out the ring, slipping it back on without looking at her.
"Don't do this because of me," I mumble. "Do it because it's the right thing."
She stares at me, wide-eyed and incredulous. I could feel her warmth radiating off of her, attracting me like a magnet.
"Elsa..." I whisper, leaning down. I was so close I could feel us exchanging breaths.
There's a knock on the door and I sigh, half in frustration and half in relief.
Pizza's here.

I kept my distance for a while as we ate. She wouldn't look at me, and I felt the need to apologize. I didn't want her to think it was her, but saying, "It's not you, it's me," felt so cliché.
After half a slice of pizza, she rises to her feet. "I'm going to sleep."
"Y-you're not hungry?" I ask, astounded.
She shakes her head, pressing her lips together. I watch her disappear down the hallway, probably going to the bathroom to brush her teeth.
Fuck.
Was she seriously giving me the silent treatment? I was trying to do the right thing by not being selfish. She couldn't blame me for that.
I shouldn't feel guilty, I say in my head. I fucking shouldn't; I did the right thing. But she's holding it against me.
I watch as she silently walks back into the room.
Giving both of us space, I tell her I'd sleep on the couch.
Elsa looks up. "The couch? But-"
"Don't worry about it," I assure her. "It's only for tonight."
She wears a defeated expression. "Okay."
I sigh. "Elsa-"
"No, really, it's fine. I'm sorry I put you in such a tight spot. It was stupid and you're right."
She was admitting I was right? Oh.
I bite my lip. "I'm glad you realized it. I just didn't want you making a mistake."
"Yeah. I'm going to try giving my sister a call tomorrow. That way I can be out of your hair sooner."
My eyebrows furrow. "Ellie, that's not what-"
"It's the smartest thing to do. I need to sort things out and you're probably sick of having me around." She sits on the edge of the bed and stares down at her ring, twisting it around her finger. "Besides, I need to tell my family what happened. I need closure."
She wanted to leave? The last thing I wanted is for her to feel like a burden.
"Don't go," I blurt out. I was a complete sucker for what I was about to do.
"But I don't-"
Striding over, I crash my mouth on top of hers, giving in. I kiss her deeply with all the fervor I could possibly conjure up. Most of it was the frustration that's been building ever since she stepped foot here.
Her hands sink greedily into my hair as she pulls me closer. I groan as I feel her legs locking around my waist. "Elsa," I breathe in warning, but I had no willpower to stop. Her lips were so soft and melded perfectly with mine.
Our tongues tangle together as they fight for dominance. I let my hands roam along her body, allowing myself to dip down and press my lips to her neck. She pants and I feel her shiver when I bite down softly. I feel her fingers snake beneath my shirt, and that's when I break away.
"John," she whispers and it takes every ounce of my being to hold back.
"No," I mutter. "That's as far as I'm going."
She stares up at me, trying to even her breathing. My eyes soften. "Dammit, Elsa."
"Are you mad at me?"
I laugh breathlessly and shake my head. "I think I'm more mad at myself."
Elsa giggles, biting her lip. "Well, since you're not mad at me..."
"No. I'm sleeping on the couch."
"Please!"
"I don't trust us in the same bed anymore."
She throws me a simple pout and I sigh. "Fine."

"John! Psst! John!"
The muffled voice was too deep and too far away to be Elsa's. I groggily open my eyes, noticing Halvo standing on the other side of the door. I groan, dipping my head back into the pillows.
"John! I know you can hear me, you horny bastard, wake up!"
I clench my teeth and carefully climb out of bed to make my way outside.
"Eric!" I whisper shout. "What the hell are you doing here?!"
"I need you to watch Ruby for me," he explains as I notice her sniffing at the ground. "I'm going to be out of town for a few days."
"You couldn't have just called or texted me?" I mutter, opening the door for Ruby. "Go ahead, girl."
She prances her way inside and Eric looks over my shoulder. "Try not to traumatize her with all the sex goin' on in there."
"We're not sleeping together!" I almost yell.
"Right. Totally explains her in your bed. Wearing nothing but underwear and a shirt. Yours, if I may add."
"We're not having sex," I growl. "We're sharing a bed and that's it."
"Sharing outfits, too?"
"She needed some fucking clothes!"
"Ya forgot to give her pants."
I could feel my face burning up. "DO YOU REALLY THINK-you know what? No. I'm glad you're going to be out of town. I swear to God, Halvorsen. You're testing my patience and my limits."
He laughs. "Alright, alright, sorry. But you don't have to lie to me, man. There's nothing wrong with having a little fun."
"It's not like that. She's just a friend."
"Friend with benefits?"
"No!"
Eric breaks out into an ear-splitting grin. "Well, shit. I'd love to have a friend like that."
"Get the fuck out."