Don't Waste Your Time on Me

So just forget about it

I take a deep breath as I open my front door, 'Hey.' Jack whispers,
'Come in.' I sigh, walking back to the lounge,
'Alex, you can't just ignore me. It's been a week, I'm worried. What the fuck do you expect me to be thinking?' Jack snaps, following me,
'Okay, so you don't know what to think? I don't know what to fucking feel Jack! I'm in fucking pieces and have been for months now and no ones fucking noticed. I'm still in love with you Jack! To me you are the most beautiful thing to walk this earth. I never fell out of love with you!' I yell,
'Alex, I'm sorry! I had no idea!' he cries, looking so desperate,
'Of course you had no idea! WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU WASTE YOUR TIME ON ME!?' I scream, tears filling my eyes,
'Alex, please, we need to talk about this!' he begs,
'No Jack. I'm done talking. I'm just done.' I whisper,
'Just go home Jack. Just forget about it all. Forget I said anything, forget we ever dated, forget I ever loved you. Just forget me.' I sigh,
'I'm sorry Alex. I'm so damn sorry.' Jack whimpers,
'Forget it.' I whisper.

(a few days later)

'You fucked my life up. Go away.' I say as I try to close the door on Zack,
'No, I'm coming in whether you like it or not.' he sighs and pushes the door open,
'You need to stop fucking working out.' I mutter,
'Whatever, now, we need to talk Lex. I've never seen Jack so upset.' he says softly,
'Not my fault.' I mumble,
'I know bud and thats kind of the problem, he's blaming himself, like big time and beating himself up over it.' Zack sighs, sitting down next to me,
'I just shouldn't of said anything. I had to let my stupid fucking feelings get in the way. We've been broken up for ages, god dammit, I'm so fucking pathetic.' I whisper,
'No you're not Alex, anyone could see how much you loved Jack, I wouldn't expect you to just get over that.' he sighs and hugs me.


I giggle when Jack starts tickling me, 'baby, you made me jump.' I chuckle and turn round, going in for a kiss but he flinches away, 'Jack?' I whisper,
'We need to talk.' he sighs and my heart sinks,
'No, no, don't break up with me.' I beg,
'Alex, listen to me darling, I love you. But I don't think this is right. I think we were made to be best friends, not together.' he says softly,
'You want to go back to being friends?' I whisper,
'I think it's for the best baby, you know you mean a lot to me, but I don't think I'm right for you, you deserve more.' he sighs,
'You mean you think you deserve more?' I say sharply,
'No Alex, that is not the case at all.' he whispers,
'I know. I'm sorry, I'm just a bit upset I guess.' I sigh,
'I understand and I'm sorry. Do you want a hug?' he asks and I nod, wrapping my arms around his waist, 'best friends forever, Alex. Till the day I die.' he whispers.

~End of flashback~

(a few days later)

To Jack: can we talk? x

From Jack: of course. Want me to come round or do you just wanna text? x

To Jack: could you come round? x

From Jack: I'll be over in a minute. I'll bring food x


'I'm here Lex.' Jack says as he lets himself in,
'Lounge.' I croak and he walks in,
'I brought burritos and chocolate.' he says softly as he sits down next to me, I look at him and smile sadly,
'Fuck Alex, your eyes.' he gasps, they're probably bloodshot and watery,
'Sorry.' I whisper and wipe them quickly,
'For fuck sake, come here please, I'm so fucking sorry.' he whimpers and pulls me into his chest,
'I'm sorry Jack, I'm sorry I'm so fucking pathetic.' I sob,
'No lexy, no you're not, please, don't cry.' he whispers,
'I've fucked up our friendship, haven't I?' I whimper,
'No lexy, no.' he sighs, 'Alexander Gaskarth, I made a big mistake by breaking up with you, please, please, please take me back baby.' he begs,
'Yes, yes, yes.' I whisper,
'I've missed you.' he sighs,
'Are you sure this is a good idea jacky...?' I ask,
'Yes. Yes I'm sure. I love you Alex, I really do.' he whispers,
'I love you too Barakitty.' I breathe.