Don't Waste Your Time on Me
But don't you see what you do to me
(a week later)
'Hey sweetie.' I whisper, sitting down on the couch next to Jack, he doesn't say anything, just curls into my side, 'Baby... Would you like to talk? It might help...' I say softly, stroking his hair,
'Do you hate me?' he asks quietly,
'No Jack. No baby, none of this is your fault honey. Please don't blame yourself.' I say quickly,
'Do you still want to be with me?' he whimpers,
'Yes honey. Yes.' I whisper,
'But you don't want to have sex with me again, do you? I'm dirty Alex. She's ruined me. Admit it.' he says, his voice cracking,
'Jack, I do not think you are dirty. I think you are beautiful and I love you to bits. Just because some filthy slut took away the slight bit of innocence you had, because lets be real here, youre a dirty minded fuck, doesn't mean I love you or your body any less.' I tell him and he giggles,
'You have a dirtier mind.' he smiles up at me,
'Probably. Ive missed your giggle.' I smile and kiss him softly,
'Im going to try and forget it. Shes gone. She can't hurt me. It's over.' he says quietly,
'I'm proud of you baby.' I whisper.
(a month later)
-Jacks POV-
'Hey sexy.' I grin, stroking a hand down Alex's bare back and resting it above his boxers while he makes pancakes,
'Hey Jay.' he says softly and turns his head and pecks my lips,
'You are so damn hot. And you're mine. How am I so lucky?' I smirk, pushing my hips against his lower back,
'Jackyyyy.' he whines, wriggling away,
'You're no fun.' I chuckle,
'I'm making you breakfast and you are trying to get your dick inside me without warning.' he laughs and I pull away,
'I wouldn't do that to you.' I whisper, slightly hurt,
'Fuck baby, I'm sorry.' He gasps and turns round, hugging me tightly,
'It's okay.' I mumble,
'Dammit, I never think.' He mutters,
'It's fine Alex. Honestly.' I whisper, kissing his neck.
--
'They were amazing.' I grin, stretching out on the sofa and resting my head on Alex's thigh, 'You make the best pancakes baby.' I chuckle and he smiles and brushes my hair off my forehead,
'Jack, I love you.' he whispers,
'I love you too... Are you okay babe? You seem sad.' I ask softly,
'I'm fine darling.' he sighs,
'You can tell me anything.' I whisper, taking his hand and squeezing it tightly,
'Jacky, I'm fine honey, honestly.' he smiles softly, I sit up and kiss him gently, my arms winding around his neck,
'I'm worried now.' I sigh, resting my forehead on his,
'Jack. Look at the date.' He mutters, I raise an eyebrow and get my phone out of my pocket, looking at the date. Shit. It's the anniversary of Alex's brothers death.
'Baby, I'm so sorry. Fuck.' I whimper and hug him tightly,
'It's fine Jack. I'm just a bit rough today.' he sighs, nuzzling into my neck,
'Anything I can do darling?' I ask, rubbing his back,
'No. Just hold me.' He whispers,
'I've got you babe.' I sigh.
(a few weeks later)
-Alex's POV-
'You're thinking. What are you thinking?' Jack sighs,
'Nothing.' I mumble,
'Honey just tell me.' He breathes, stroking my hair,
'Jack... When we broke up... I think it was better than we are now.' I whisper,
'You want to break up again?' he asks,
'I don't know Jack. I love you, my god, do I love you. But I feel like I'm not right for you. I don't want to lose you Jack... But I feel we'd be better as friends.' I say shakily and he hugs me,
'I understand. I knew this would happen. I love you.' he whispers,
'You're not mad?' I ask,
'No, if this is what you want and you'll be happier like this, then it's okay.' he smiles softly, brushing my fringe out of my eyes,
'I do love you Jack. I just don't think I deserve your love... Can I still have my safety blanket though?' I ask sheepishly and he nods, kissing my forehead.
(a week later)
'Hey you.' I chuckle, catching Jack as he trips, well he's pissed.
'Alex!' he grins and hugs me tightly, I chuckle and press my back against the bar so neither of us, 'have you not had a drink Lex?' he asks,
'Nah I'm not in the mood.' I shrug,
'damn. Come outside?' he chuckles and I nod.
'I miss you Lex.' Jack sighs as we sit outside of the club on a bench,
'Jack, don't.' I whisper,
'Do you not love me anymore?' he asks,
'Jack, please stop. I'm not worth loving.' I mumble,
'You are. You're so beautiful.' he slurs,
'Im not Jack. I'm an ugly, fat mess and I don't deserve love. Especially not yours.' I tell him,
'Youre pretty.' he whispers,
'No I'm not. I'm hideous. Please, just stop this.' I sigh,
'You're perfect to me lexy boo.' he says drunkenly,
'Jack stop it. I'm ugly. I'm fat. I'm horrid. I'm a bad person. I'm a fuck up. Just leave it.' I snap, he sighs and hiccups slightly,
'Come on. I'll take you home.' I whisper.
(next day)
From: Jack (13:02):
I don't know if you're still asleep, so i wont knock... If you're awake, come open the door x
I sigh and get off the couch and go open the front door, 'how's the hangover?' I chuckle as I open it, Jack doesn't reply, just slams his body into mine and hugs me tightly,
'Just because I was drunk, doesn't mean I don't remember all those things you said.' he whimpers, I pull him inside and rub his back gently,
'Can we go upstairs?' he asks and I nod.
Jack presses my back against my bedroom door and pushes my fringe out my eyes, 'Alexander William Gaskarth, you are so goddamn beautiful. I love you. Please, let me show you.' he whispers, kissing down my neck softy,
'Jack...' I sigh,
'Please Alex. You are so beautiful.' he says softly, his hands goin up my tshirt.
'Hey sweetie.' I whisper, sitting down on the couch next to Jack, he doesn't say anything, just curls into my side, 'Baby... Would you like to talk? It might help...' I say softly, stroking his hair,
'Do you hate me?' he asks quietly,
'No Jack. No baby, none of this is your fault honey. Please don't blame yourself.' I say quickly,
'Do you still want to be with me?' he whimpers,
'Yes honey. Yes.' I whisper,
'But you don't want to have sex with me again, do you? I'm dirty Alex. She's ruined me. Admit it.' he says, his voice cracking,
'Jack, I do not think you are dirty. I think you are beautiful and I love you to bits. Just because some filthy slut took away the slight bit of innocence you had, because lets be real here, youre a dirty minded fuck, doesn't mean I love you or your body any less.' I tell him and he giggles,
'You have a dirtier mind.' he smiles up at me,
'Probably. Ive missed your giggle.' I smile and kiss him softly,
'Im going to try and forget it. Shes gone. She can't hurt me. It's over.' he says quietly,
'I'm proud of you baby.' I whisper.
(a month later)
-Jacks POV-
'Hey sexy.' I grin, stroking a hand down Alex's bare back and resting it above his boxers while he makes pancakes,
'Hey Jay.' he says softly and turns his head and pecks my lips,
'You are so damn hot. And you're mine. How am I so lucky?' I smirk, pushing my hips against his lower back,
'Jackyyyy.' he whines, wriggling away,
'You're no fun.' I chuckle,
'I'm making you breakfast and you are trying to get your dick inside me without warning.' he laughs and I pull away,
'I wouldn't do that to you.' I whisper, slightly hurt,
'Fuck baby, I'm sorry.' He gasps and turns round, hugging me tightly,
'It's okay.' I mumble,
'Dammit, I never think.' He mutters,
'It's fine Alex. Honestly.' I whisper, kissing his neck.
--
'They were amazing.' I grin, stretching out on the sofa and resting my head on Alex's thigh, 'You make the best pancakes baby.' I chuckle and he smiles and brushes my hair off my forehead,
'Jack, I love you.' he whispers,
'I love you too... Are you okay babe? You seem sad.' I ask softly,
'I'm fine darling.' he sighs,
'You can tell me anything.' I whisper, taking his hand and squeezing it tightly,
'Jacky, I'm fine honey, honestly.' he smiles softly, I sit up and kiss him gently, my arms winding around his neck,
'I'm worried now.' I sigh, resting my forehead on his,
'Jack. Look at the date.' He mutters, I raise an eyebrow and get my phone out of my pocket, looking at the date. Shit. It's the anniversary of Alex's brothers death.
'Baby, I'm so sorry. Fuck.' I whimper and hug him tightly,
'It's fine Jack. I'm just a bit rough today.' he sighs, nuzzling into my neck,
'Anything I can do darling?' I ask, rubbing his back,
'No. Just hold me.' He whispers,
'I've got you babe.' I sigh.
(a few weeks later)
-Alex's POV-
'You're thinking. What are you thinking?' Jack sighs,
'Nothing.' I mumble,
'Honey just tell me.' He breathes, stroking my hair,
'Jack... When we broke up... I think it was better than we are now.' I whisper,
'You want to break up again?' he asks,
'I don't know Jack. I love you, my god, do I love you. But I feel like I'm not right for you. I don't want to lose you Jack... But I feel we'd be better as friends.' I say shakily and he hugs me,
'I understand. I knew this would happen. I love you.' he whispers,
'You're not mad?' I ask,
'No, if this is what you want and you'll be happier like this, then it's okay.' he smiles softly, brushing my fringe out of my eyes,
'I do love you Jack. I just don't think I deserve your love... Can I still have my safety blanket though?' I ask sheepishly and he nods, kissing my forehead.
(a week later)
'Hey you.' I chuckle, catching Jack as he trips, well he's pissed.
'Alex!' he grins and hugs me tightly, I chuckle and press my back against the bar so neither of us, 'have you not had a drink Lex?' he asks,
'Nah I'm not in the mood.' I shrug,
'damn. Come outside?' he chuckles and I nod.
'I miss you Lex.' Jack sighs as we sit outside of the club on a bench,
'Jack, don't.' I whisper,
'Do you not love me anymore?' he asks,
'Jack, please stop. I'm not worth loving.' I mumble,
'You are. You're so beautiful.' he slurs,
'Im not Jack. I'm an ugly, fat mess and I don't deserve love. Especially not yours.' I tell him,
'Youre pretty.' he whispers,
'No I'm not. I'm hideous. Please, just stop this.' I sigh,
'You're perfect to me lexy boo.' he says drunkenly,
'Jack stop it. I'm ugly. I'm fat. I'm horrid. I'm a bad person. I'm a fuck up. Just leave it.' I snap, he sighs and hiccups slightly,
'Come on. I'll take you home.' I whisper.
(next day)
From: Jack (13:02):
I don't know if you're still asleep, so i wont knock... If you're awake, come open the door x
I sigh and get off the couch and go open the front door, 'how's the hangover?' I chuckle as I open it, Jack doesn't reply, just slams his body into mine and hugs me tightly,
'Just because I was drunk, doesn't mean I don't remember all those things you said.' he whimpers, I pull him inside and rub his back gently,
'Can we go upstairs?' he asks and I nod.
Jack presses my back against my bedroom door and pushes my fringe out my eyes, 'Alexander William Gaskarth, you are so goddamn beautiful. I love you. Please, let me show you.' he whispers, kissing down my neck softy,
'Jack...' I sigh,
'Please Alex. You are so beautiful.' he says softly, his hands goin up my tshirt.