Innocent.
Innocent.
Innocent.
Lives change like the weather
I hope you remember
Today is never too late to be brand new.
___________________________________________________________________________________
PJ didn’t understand how she could go from being so happy and perky to being so sad and stressed and just upset, all the time. It wasn’t like it happened overnight. Over time, she went from the Teddy he knew and loved to the Teddy she is now; the Teddy that PJ doesn’t really know that well, but still loves more than anything or anyone.
Sometimes at night, he hears her crying – no, sobbing – and all he wants is to comfort her, to hold her and let her cry until she can’t cry anymore, but if she knew he knew about it, she would hate him. She would give him the silent treatment for God knows how long, and she wouldn’t be able to trust him anymore.
PJ doesn’t think it’s her fault that she changed. He knows she doesn’t want to be the way she is, and sometimes when their mother or father start yelling at her and she leaves the room to stop herself from crying in front of them, PJ tells them to give her a break. They look at him like he just said the craziest thing that they’ve ever heard and tell him that she’s only getting what she deserves.
But PJ doesn’t think that’s true. He doesn’t think she deserves to feel so broken all the time, he doesn’t think anyone does. But especially not Teddy. She was his baby sister, his Teddy, and the only thing she deserved was happiness.
___________________________________________________________________________________
If someone asked Teddy what happened, she wouldn’t be able to tell them. She didn’t know how or when it happened, she just knew she was out of control. No one knew at first. Not Amy or Bob, or Gabe, or PJ. Not even Ivy. They couldn’t know. She was Teddy Duncan. She was the happy one, the positive one; the one who saw the good in everyone. No one knew about the scars, or the skipping meals. She was Teddy Duncan. She had to be perfect.
But in time, she just didn’t care. She didn’t care if they saw the scars, or noticed the weight loss or change in her attitude. She didn’t care about anything.
“You missed breakfast.” PJ stated to his younger sister, sitting next to her on the couch. She was watching some Jennifer Aniston movie that PJ couldn't understand how Teddy could watch. He was never one for romance movies. As far as he was concerned, a movie wasn’t good unless it had a car chase, a fight scene, or both. But he wanted to talk to Teddy. He wanted to figure out what she was going through, he wanted to help her.
“Yeah, I just wasn’t hungry.” Teddy shrugged, not taking her eyes off the screen. PJ knew it was because she wanted to avoid the conversation she knew was about to come.
“You missed lunch, too.” He pressed.
Teddy just shrugged, turning to her brother. “Watch with me? My favorite part’s coming up.”
“Teddy,” PJ started, looking at his sister. He watched her smile fade, an unreadable expression on her face. Anger? Sadness? Regret? PJ couldn’t tell, but the look on her face was what made him nod his head, leaving it alone for the time being. “I’ve got nothing else to do.”
And PJ saw her smile – a real smile – and he had to admit that even though the conversation hadn't gone the way he hoped it would, seeing her mood change for the better because of him felt pretty damn good.
___________________________________________________________________________________
The first time she got drunk, she was with Spencer and his friends. She didn’t want to drink, but she noticed everyone else had been wasted. They were laughing and having fun. They were happy. Teddy wanted that, so she grabbed the bottle of vodka Spencer handed her, and downed the whole thing.
She managed to sneak home when her parents were at work, and she barely made it to her bedroom before completely crashing. She woke up the next morning with the worst headache she could ever remember having, and the urge to throw up everything she ate the day before, but she remembered how happy and carefree she was after she got wasted, and nothing else mattered to Teddy. If getting drunk was the only way for her to be happy, then that’s what she would do.
PJ had wanted to beat the crap out of Spencer when Ivy told him that he had been the one to introduce Teddy to alcohol, because even though she was sixteen years old and knew all about alcohol and drugs and probably a lot more than PJ even wanted to think about, he still saw her as that innocent little five year old girl who followed him everywhere and looked up to him so much. He was never one for violence, but he had seriously considered severely hurting this asshole who stole a part of Teddy’s innocence.
It took him a while, but he realized that it wasn’t Spencer he was mad at, or Teddy, or his parents. It was himself, because he knew about everything; he knew about it all, but there was nothing he could do, and that made him angry. He considered telling his parents, but he wasn’t even sure they would believe him.
“Oh, Teddy would never do that. She’s too perfect.”
___________________________________________________________________________________
She first heard it from Ivy. At first, she didn’t believe it. She didn’t want to believe it. She had been in denial for the longest time. It just didn’t make sense to her; Spencer couldn't have cheated on her. He wasn’t like that.
Two weeks later, and he told her the truth. He had slept with someone else; someone he didn’t even know. He had gotten drunk at a party, and things got out of hand. He told her he thought they should take a break so he could figure things out.
Ivy had tried to be there for her, to get her to talk, but Teddy just kept insisting that she was fine. Why should she burden Ivy with her problems? Teddy knew Ivy didn’t really care; no one did.
___________________________________________________________________________________
There’s a lot of things PJ didn’t understand, like how his mother could be just so bad at cooking, or Mrs Dabney’s temper, or why Gabe was so attached to his stupid game system, which he’s played himself and could tell you firsthand that it is not that fun.
But the one thing he would never understand is his parents. He could never understand how they could talk about how worried they were about Teddy and how much they loved her, and then treat her like crap whenever she was around. And, yeah, maybe they were trying to help, but didn’t they know that if they hadn’t put so much pressure on her to be so perfect, she’d still be the same Teddy they all knew and loved? PJ wanted nothing more than to tell them that, but what good would it do?
So he kept his thoughts to himself, and reminded Teddy that he’d always be there for her, no matter what. Because she was Teddy, she was his Teddy, and nothing she could do or say would ever change that.
___________________________________________________________________________________
Teddy would get drunk every day after she found out about Spencer. Sometimes she would sneak out late at night, go to some party that one of her classmates was having, or sometimes she would just sneak it into the house. She would hide it in her purse or bookbag, and lock her bedroom door, getting drunk in her own house.
It had been one stupid mistake. Teddy was having a really bad day, and all she wanted to do was drink it all away. She had so much on her mind that she hadn’t even thought to lock her door, so when PJ had walked in to ask her if she wanted to get frozen yogurt with him and their father, he walked in on Teddy with a bottle of vodka in her hands, about to drink it all.
“Teddy, what the hell are you doing?!”
Teddy jumped at the sound of PJ’s voice – PJ’s angry voice, which she never heard, especially directed towards her – and turned around, dropping the bottle on the floor. “PJ, what are you doing in here?” Her voice was barely above a whisper. She was afraid; afraid PJ would tell their parents, afraid he would start asking more questions, afraid he would hate her.
PJ slammed the door, crossing his arms over her chest. “No, Teddy. You don’t get to ask the questions. What was that? Was that vodka?”
Teddy was suddenly angry. Why was it any of his business what she did with her life? She rolled her eyes, throwing herself on her bed and picking up a magazine. “God, PJ, you sound like Dad! So, it’s vodka. Chill out, okay? It’s none of your business.”
“None of my business?!” PJ yelled, grabbing the magazine from Teddy. She winced, avoiding eye contact with him. She couldn’t remember the last time he was this mad. “Teddy, you were about to…get drunk!” He whispered the last two words so their parents wouldn’t hear. “What is going on with you? This isn’t like you.” He calmed down, his voice soft and filled with concern for his little sister.
“Just leave, PJ.” Teddy’s voice cracked as she spoke, sounding defeated. “I promise I won’t do it again, okay? Just leave.”
PJ stared at her for a few minutes, before sighing and heading towards her door. “Next time, I tell Mom and Dad.”
___________________________________________________________________________________
The next night, PJ woke up to the sound of his phone ringing, and he squinted at the clock across the room. 2:19 AM. He groaned and answered the phone. “Hello?”
“PJ, it’s Ivy. Can you come get Teddy? She…needs you.”
PJ was out of bed and on his way out of the house as soon as he heard Ivy’s voice. “I’m on my way. Where are you guys?” He listened as Ivy gave him directions, and once he arrived, he pushed his way through the crowd of drunk teenagers, finding Ivy and Teddy sitting on the staircase. “What happened?”
“JP!” Teddy slurred. She stood up, and started to stumble forward, but PJ grabbed her arm before she could hit the ground, holding her up. “Look, PJ! It's my brother, Ivy!” Her face scrunched in confusion, realizing that what she just said didn't make sense. She giggled, her hand covering her mouth to quieten her laughter.
“She’s wasted.” Ivy told PJ once she saw the look on his face. “I’d take her home myself, but as you can see, she can’t even stand.”
PJ sighed, realizing it would be easier to just carry her out. He picked her up, and she resisted him at first, pounding her small fists against his chest.
“No!” She crossed her arms over her chest like a little kid, pouting at PJ. “You’re no fun! You’re just a fun-ruiner!” It didn’t take long for her to tire and she just wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck, head resting on his shoulder.
He couldn't believe how light she was, carrying her to the car. He put her in the passenger seat, doing her seatbelt up for her before going around to the driver's side. The ride was silent, aside from the occasional giggle from Teddy, who was laughing at absolutely nothing as far as PJ was concerned. He noticed she had sobered up a bit – and quieted down – by the time they got home, and figured she would at least be able to walk. He opened the passenger door, unfastening her seatbelt and holding his hand out for her to take.
She shook her head and wrapped her arms around his neck, hiding her face in his shoulder.
He sighed and lifted her up because she was telling him she needed him, and who knows when that would happen again? So he let her wrap her legs around his waist again and he carried her inside. He could’ve sworn that as he was carrying her, he felt her tears on his shoulder, so he held onto her tighter. “I’m here. I’ve got you.” He whispered into her ear.
And as PJ carried her to her bedroom and laid her down on her bed, he had to pry her arms away from his neck. She didn't want to let him go, and he could’ve sworn he heard her mumble an ‘I’m so sorry’ before she closed her eyes and fell asleep.
___________________________________________________________________________________
She skipped her first meal after one of her friends had made a comment about her putting on weight. She hadn’t thought she was that fat, but maybe she was wrong. She saw that Amy had made spaghetti. Teddy told her parents that she wasn’t feeling well, that she was going to turn in early and she would eat later. They didn’t need to know that she was lying.
Over time, Teddy realized how easy it was to fool her family. She would tell them she wasn’t hungry, or she was feeling sick, and they would let her leave without questions. It was almost funny, at first, Teddy thought. But it wasn’t long until Gabe pointed it out: “They know you’re lying. They just don’t care.” In the back of her mind, Teddy knew he didn’t mean it, that he was just taking his frustration out on her. But she kept telling herself that her brother was right. Her parents didn’t care about her; nobody did.
That night, Teddy picked up the razor. A small whimper escaped her lips as she pressed the blade to her wrist, biting down on her lip so that she wouldn’t scream. When she saw the blood trailing down her skin, she realized what she had just done. She contained her sobs, grabbing a towel from the bathroom and pressing it against her arm. She sunk to her knees, feeling more hopeless than ever. She was behind closed doors now, she reminded herself, she was allowed to break down here. She didn’t have to be perfect behind closed doors.
___________________________________________________________________________________
PJ came home one day and found her curled up on his bed, waiting for him to come back. She jumped up so fast, he couldn’t even react before she was in his arms, clinging to him for dear life and crying into his shirt. He sat them on his bed, she curled up in his lap like she did when she was little, and he held her until she calmed down, whispering words of comfort and reassurance in her ear.
“You’re the only one who cares,” she told him, and PJ’s heart broke for her, because how could she think that no one cared? He wanted to protect her, shield her from anything that could hurt her, because hasn’t she been through enough? It scared PJ, because he knew that everyone had a breaking point. She was slowly killing herself, whether she was meaning to or not, and it terrified PJ to think that he could come home from school or work and she wouldn’t be there anymore.
So he held onto her tighter, her face buried in his chest and his buried in her shoulder, and he cried. Because this was Teddy, and the thought of losing her shattered him.
___________________________________________________________________________________
If someone were to ask Teddy why she hadn’t completely given up yet, she wouldn’t even hesitate before answering: PJ. When they were growing up, their father had always told them that family was far more important than friends.
“Friends come and go. They could leave you in a heartbeat without even looking back. But family is blood. Family is forever.”
Teddy had carried that piece of advice around with her for her whole life. But now it seemed to finally make sense. Because, sure, Teddy had friends. She had Ivy, Vonnie, and Kelsey. But PJ was different. She knew what she was doing to him, she knew how much he worried about her, but he still never left her side. Even as kids, when they would fight and argue about everything, he had always been there for her when she needed him. PJ was family. He had been her best friend – her brother – for sixteen years now, and she was just now realizing how right their father was. In so many ways, Teddy felt so hopeless, so worthless, but the one thing she could count on was PJ always being there for her.
Lives change like the weather
I hope you remember
Today is never too late to be brand new.
___________________________________________________________________________________
PJ didn’t understand how she could go from being so happy and perky to being so sad and stressed and just upset, all the time. It wasn’t like it happened overnight. Over time, she went from the Teddy he knew and loved to the Teddy she is now; the Teddy that PJ doesn’t really know that well, but still loves more than anything or anyone.
Sometimes at night, he hears her crying – no, sobbing – and all he wants is to comfort her, to hold her and let her cry until she can’t cry anymore, but if she knew he knew about it, she would hate him. She would give him the silent treatment for God knows how long, and she wouldn’t be able to trust him anymore.
PJ doesn’t think it’s her fault that she changed. He knows she doesn’t want to be the way she is, and sometimes when their mother or father start yelling at her and she leaves the room to stop herself from crying in front of them, PJ tells them to give her a break. They look at him like he just said the craziest thing that they’ve ever heard and tell him that she’s only getting what she deserves.
But PJ doesn’t think that’s true. He doesn’t think she deserves to feel so broken all the time, he doesn’t think anyone does. But especially not Teddy. She was his baby sister, his Teddy, and the only thing she deserved was happiness.
___________________________________________________________________________________
If someone asked Teddy what happened, she wouldn’t be able to tell them. She didn’t know how or when it happened, she just knew she was out of control. No one knew at first. Not Amy or Bob, or Gabe, or PJ. Not even Ivy. They couldn’t know. She was Teddy Duncan. She was the happy one, the positive one; the one who saw the good in everyone. No one knew about the scars, or the skipping meals. She was Teddy Duncan. She had to be perfect.
But in time, she just didn’t care. She didn’t care if they saw the scars, or noticed the weight loss or change in her attitude. She didn’t care about anything.
“You missed breakfast.” PJ stated to his younger sister, sitting next to her on the couch. She was watching some Jennifer Aniston movie that PJ couldn't understand how Teddy could watch. He was never one for romance movies. As far as he was concerned, a movie wasn’t good unless it had a car chase, a fight scene, or both. But he wanted to talk to Teddy. He wanted to figure out what she was going through, he wanted to help her.
“Yeah, I just wasn’t hungry.” Teddy shrugged, not taking her eyes off the screen. PJ knew it was because she wanted to avoid the conversation she knew was about to come.
“You missed lunch, too.” He pressed.
Teddy just shrugged, turning to her brother. “Watch with me? My favorite part’s coming up.”
“Teddy,” PJ started, looking at his sister. He watched her smile fade, an unreadable expression on her face. Anger? Sadness? Regret? PJ couldn’t tell, but the look on her face was what made him nod his head, leaving it alone for the time being. “I’ve got nothing else to do.”
And PJ saw her smile – a real smile – and he had to admit that even though the conversation hadn't gone the way he hoped it would, seeing her mood change for the better because of him felt pretty damn good.
___________________________________________________________________________________
The first time she got drunk, she was with Spencer and his friends. She didn’t want to drink, but she noticed everyone else had been wasted. They were laughing and having fun. They were happy. Teddy wanted that, so she grabbed the bottle of vodka Spencer handed her, and downed the whole thing.
She managed to sneak home when her parents were at work, and she barely made it to her bedroom before completely crashing. She woke up the next morning with the worst headache she could ever remember having, and the urge to throw up everything she ate the day before, but she remembered how happy and carefree she was after she got wasted, and nothing else mattered to Teddy. If getting drunk was the only way for her to be happy, then that’s what she would do.
PJ had wanted to beat the crap out of Spencer when Ivy told him that he had been the one to introduce Teddy to alcohol, because even though she was sixteen years old and knew all about alcohol and drugs and probably a lot more than PJ even wanted to think about, he still saw her as that innocent little five year old girl who followed him everywhere and looked up to him so much. He was never one for violence, but he had seriously considered severely hurting this asshole who stole a part of Teddy’s innocence.
It took him a while, but he realized that it wasn’t Spencer he was mad at, or Teddy, or his parents. It was himself, because he knew about everything; he knew about it all, but there was nothing he could do, and that made him angry. He considered telling his parents, but he wasn’t even sure they would believe him.
“Oh, Teddy would never do that. She’s too perfect.”
___________________________________________________________________________________
She first heard it from Ivy. At first, she didn’t believe it. She didn’t want to believe it. She had been in denial for the longest time. It just didn’t make sense to her; Spencer couldn't have cheated on her. He wasn’t like that.
Two weeks later, and he told her the truth. He had slept with someone else; someone he didn’t even know. He had gotten drunk at a party, and things got out of hand. He told her he thought they should take a break so he could figure things out.
Ivy had tried to be there for her, to get her to talk, but Teddy just kept insisting that she was fine. Why should she burden Ivy with her problems? Teddy knew Ivy didn’t really care; no one did.
___________________________________________________________________________________
There’s a lot of things PJ didn’t understand, like how his mother could be just so bad at cooking, or Mrs Dabney’s temper, or why Gabe was so attached to his stupid game system, which he’s played himself and could tell you firsthand that it is not that fun.
But the one thing he would never understand is his parents. He could never understand how they could talk about how worried they were about Teddy and how much they loved her, and then treat her like crap whenever she was around. And, yeah, maybe they were trying to help, but didn’t they know that if they hadn’t put so much pressure on her to be so perfect, she’d still be the same Teddy they all knew and loved? PJ wanted nothing more than to tell them that, but what good would it do?
So he kept his thoughts to himself, and reminded Teddy that he’d always be there for her, no matter what. Because she was Teddy, she was his Teddy, and nothing she could do or say would ever change that.
___________________________________________________________________________________
Teddy would get drunk every day after she found out about Spencer. Sometimes she would sneak out late at night, go to some party that one of her classmates was having, or sometimes she would just sneak it into the house. She would hide it in her purse or bookbag, and lock her bedroom door, getting drunk in her own house.
It had been one stupid mistake. Teddy was having a really bad day, and all she wanted to do was drink it all away. She had so much on her mind that she hadn’t even thought to lock her door, so when PJ had walked in to ask her if she wanted to get frozen yogurt with him and their father, he walked in on Teddy with a bottle of vodka in her hands, about to drink it all.
“Teddy, what the hell are you doing?!”
Teddy jumped at the sound of PJ’s voice – PJ’s angry voice, which she never heard, especially directed towards her – and turned around, dropping the bottle on the floor. “PJ, what are you doing in here?” Her voice was barely above a whisper. She was afraid; afraid PJ would tell their parents, afraid he would start asking more questions, afraid he would hate her.
PJ slammed the door, crossing his arms over her chest. “No, Teddy. You don’t get to ask the questions. What was that? Was that vodka?”
Teddy was suddenly angry. Why was it any of his business what she did with her life? She rolled her eyes, throwing herself on her bed and picking up a magazine. “God, PJ, you sound like Dad! So, it’s vodka. Chill out, okay? It’s none of your business.”
“None of my business?!” PJ yelled, grabbing the magazine from Teddy. She winced, avoiding eye contact with him. She couldn’t remember the last time he was this mad. “Teddy, you were about to…get drunk!” He whispered the last two words so their parents wouldn’t hear. “What is going on with you? This isn’t like you.” He calmed down, his voice soft and filled with concern for his little sister.
“Just leave, PJ.” Teddy’s voice cracked as she spoke, sounding defeated. “I promise I won’t do it again, okay? Just leave.”
PJ stared at her for a few minutes, before sighing and heading towards her door. “Next time, I tell Mom and Dad.”
___________________________________________________________________________________
The next night, PJ woke up to the sound of his phone ringing, and he squinted at the clock across the room. 2:19 AM. He groaned and answered the phone. “Hello?”
“PJ, it’s Ivy. Can you come get Teddy? She…needs you.”
PJ was out of bed and on his way out of the house as soon as he heard Ivy’s voice. “I’m on my way. Where are you guys?” He listened as Ivy gave him directions, and once he arrived, he pushed his way through the crowd of drunk teenagers, finding Ivy and Teddy sitting on the staircase. “What happened?”
“JP!” Teddy slurred. She stood up, and started to stumble forward, but PJ grabbed her arm before she could hit the ground, holding her up. “Look, PJ! It's my brother, Ivy!” Her face scrunched in confusion, realizing that what she just said didn't make sense. She giggled, her hand covering her mouth to quieten her laughter.
“She’s wasted.” Ivy told PJ once she saw the look on his face. “I’d take her home myself, but as you can see, she can’t even stand.”
PJ sighed, realizing it would be easier to just carry her out. He picked her up, and she resisted him at first, pounding her small fists against his chest.
“No!” She crossed her arms over her chest like a little kid, pouting at PJ. “You’re no fun! You’re just a fun-ruiner!” It didn’t take long for her to tire and she just wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck, head resting on his shoulder.
He couldn't believe how light she was, carrying her to the car. He put her in the passenger seat, doing her seatbelt up for her before going around to the driver's side. The ride was silent, aside from the occasional giggle from Teddy, who was laughing at absolutely nothing as far as PJ was concerned. He noticed she had sobered up a bit – and quieted down – by the time they got home, and figured she would at least be able to walk. He opened the passenger door, unfastening her seatbelt and holding his hand out for her to take.
She shook her head and wrapped her arms around his neck, hiding her face in his shoulder.
He sighed and lifted her up because she was telling him she needed him, and who knows when that would happen again? So he let her wrap her legs around his waist again and he carried her inside. He could’ve sworn that as he was carrying her, he felt her tears on his shoulder, so he held onto her tighter. “I’m here. I’ve got you.” He whispered into her ear.
And as PJ carried her to her bedroom and laid her down on her bed, he had to pry her arms away from his neck. She didn't want to let him go, and he could’ve sworn he heard her mumble an ‘I’m so sorry’ before she closed her eyes and fell asleep.
___________________________________________________________________________________
She skipped her first meal after one of her friends had made a comment about her putting on weight. She hadn’t thought she was that fat, but maybe she was wrong. She saw that Amy had made spaghetti. Teddy told her parents that she wasn’t feeling well, that she was going to turn in early and she would eat later. They didn’t need to know that she was lying.
Over time, Teddy realized how easy it was to fool her family. She would tell them she wasn’t hungry, or she was feeling sick, and they would let her leave without questions. It was almost funny, at first, Teddy thought. But it wasn’t long until Gabe pointed it out: “They know you’re lying. They just don’t care.” In the back of her mind, Teddy knew he didn’t mean it, that he was just taking his frustration out on her. But she kept telling herself that her brother was right. Her parents didn’t care about her; nobody did.
That night, Teddy picked up the razor. A small whimper escaped her lips as she pressed the blade to her wrist, biting down on her lip so that she wouldn’t scream. When she saw the blood trailing down her skin, she realized what she had just done. She contained her sobs, grabbing a towel from the bathroom and pressing it against her arm. She sunk to her knees, feeling more hopeless than ever. She was behind closed doors now, she reminded herself, she was allowed to break down here. She didn’t have to be perfect behind closed doors.
___________________________________________________________________________________
PJ came home one day and found her curled up on his bed, waiting for him to come back. She jumped up so fast, he couldn’t even react before she was in his arms, clinging to him for dear life and crying into his shirt. He sat them on his bed, she curled up in his lap like she did when she was little, and he held her until she calmed down, whispering words of comfort and reassurance in her ear.
“You’re the only one who cares,” she told him, and PJ’s heart broke for her, because how could she think that no one cared? He wanted to protect her, shield her from anything that could hurt her, because hasn’t she been through enough? It scared PJ, because he knew that everyone had a breaking point. She was slowly killing herself, whether she was meaning to or not, and it terrified PJ to think that he could come home from school or work and she wouldn’t be there anymore.
So he held onto her tighter, her face buried in his chest and his buried in her shoulder, and he cried. Because this was Teddy, and the thought of losing her shattered him.
___________________________________________________________________________________
If someone were to ask Teddy why she hadn’t completely given up yet, she wouldn’t even hesitate before answering: PJ. When they were growing up, their father had always told them that family was far more important than friends.
“Friends come and go. They could leave you in a heartbeat without even looking back. But family is blood. Family is forever.”
Teddy had carried that piece of advice around with her for her whole life. But now it seemed to finally make sense. Because, sure, Teddy had friends. She had Ivy, Vonnie, and Kelsey. But PJ was different. She knew what she was doing to him, she knew how much he worried about her, but he still never left her side. Even as kids, when they would fight and argue about everything, he had always been there for her when she needed him. PJ was family. He had been her best friend – her brother – for sixteen years now, and she was just now realizing how right their father was. In so many ways, Teddy felt so hopeless, so worthless, but the one thing she could count on was PJ always being there for her.