Emergency

Tap, tap, tap.

I hit my pen off the top of my notes as I concentrated on the growing records of the students that would visit me on a regular basis, three in particular standing out; three that visited me on a daily basis.

First on my pile, was Rachel Arnold, the “popular” girl. The girl whose little visits were always, mostly, incredibly unnecessary. From seeking advice to what he real body shape may be, to wondering what fashion was in this season. And those questions were always answered with, “that's not what I'm here to advise you on, Rachel”, yet she still continued to appear at my office door with batted eyelashes and a wide hopeful smile that I would take time out of my day to listen to her.

I couldn't say no to that, could I?

Trust me, I've tried. But it was my job; I got paid to let students who had problems in to my office, no matter what it was and no matter how serious it was.

But as I said, Rachel was just one of the few that would stay in my company for hours.

I am also constantly passing out helpful guidance to Matthew Pearce; just like Rachel, he didn't have any psychological problems. And just like Rachel, his issues were associated with her.

All I could say on the subject was – if hadn't heard of undying love before, I could say I have definitely gained the majority of my knowledge on it from talking with Matthew. As his queries often revolved around ways he could approach Rachel to ask her out on a date, which I admittedly often rolled my eyes at – hidden behind my notebook, that had literally nothing constructive written on the half filled pages.

That blank notebook was becoming far too familiar with me.

But despite the complaints, I could never express my frustration after seeing my last regular; Jack Knight.

He was the youngest at sixteen years old; just a year younger than Matthew and Rachel, he was the one I always wanted to see – but I was never that lucky to. As I was the one that would often make the appointments with Jack – not him, as he was a boy with real problems he didn't want to talk about; unfortunate problems for an exceedingly reserved boy.

After a session with him, his thoughts and feelings were always the ones that filled up pages of the book that usually sat untouched on my lap, feelings of depression and thoughts of suicide. It was always painful to listen to him express how he normally felt, and I would be a damn liar to say I had never shed a tear or two after each meeting we had.

Tears for his stories, and tears for the fact I knew he wouldn't return. Jack always made me on edge every time he left through the door, as I routinely stood at the exit as he walked away. My thoughts consisted of will ever be happy, and what if one day he doesn't even show up at school. These stinging notions always caused a choke of breath and a sigh of fear.

However, strangely, no matter what I had to say about it, I did enjoy my job. It was the only thing that got me away from my own life, and without my career, I would probably be the one getting the therapy.

I was only twenty-four years old, and not only did I have to care for the students, but I also had to care for my reckless, rebellious younger brother at home. Jared, a nineteen year old junkie who would occasionally switch his addiction to bottles of alcohol. I know I couldn't have sounded like the most caring sister in the world, but when he arrives on your doorstep one day, informing that our parents had thrown him out due to his behavior – you would definitely empathize with my attitude.

And now that Jared has a different environment to wreck and a fresh face to twist in to angered expressions, he still continued down the path of the way he was living his life, which would always increase my annoyance with him.

Unfortunately I wasn't at a stage where I could express ho much I hated my life. I had heard too much sorrow from other people to hate my life, I would feel guilty if I did – as compared to some, my life was a nice walk in the park.

I was prepared for it all; the guilt and the hurt I was going to experience – it was in my job description.