Max & Me

I answered the door when I heard it knock. I swung the door open, revealing Perrie. “Hey.” She said, walking inside. She kicked off her purple Uggs, and looked around. “Where’s Max?” she asked.

“In the living room.” I replied. Perrie smiled, and put her hands on my shoulders. “You can trust me.” She assured me. I took a deep breath, as she gave me one more assuring smile.

She followed me into the living room, where Max was sitting on the floor under the TV with his toys. “So, this isn’t some sort of prank or anything?” asked Perrie, kneeling down to Max. “I wouldn’t joke about this.” I assured her, as she pulled off her mittens and beanie.

“Why is he wearing that?” asked Perrie, furrowing her eyebrows at Max. He wore a lion Halloween costume. “He wore it for Halloween a few weeks ago, and he loves it.” I replied. Perrie smiled at Max. “Hi Max,” said Perrie, “I’m auntie Perrie.”

Max smiled, clapping his hands like the people on his show. “Oh, I thought he was clapping because he liked me,” whined Perrie, “But it’s just the TV show.”

“Oh well.” I said, and flopped myself down on the sofa. “He doesn’t really look like you…” Perrie whispered. “I know, right?” I asked, “He doesn’t look like Liam either.”

“I know. Eleanor thought he looked like Liam and me though. It’s weird.” Perrie nodded, “He sure is cute though.” Perrie poked Max’s little cheeks, and Max giggled at her, poking her face. Perrie grinned, and looked over at me.

I gave her a thumbs up, and she winked, mouthing ‘I got this’.

I shook my head, smiling, and pulled out of phone. May as well go on twitter while Perrie takes care of Max. I looked through my feed, when a tweet caught my eye.

@Real_Liam_Payne: Spending time w the best girlfriend ever ! Luv you Soph ! #forever

Ouch. I quickly un-followed Liam, and turned off my phone. “You okay?” asked Perrie after seeing my hurt expression. “I’m fine.” I quickly replied. She gave me a hesitant look, but didn’t pry.

I wasn’t a good girlfriend? Is that what he’s trying to say? She’s probably with him for his fame, looks, & money. She’s a gold-digger. I wasn’t a gold-digger. I still love Liam, and I’m not with him. Then again, all his fans love him and they’ve never even met him.

They’re genuine though. They spend hours watching twit-cams, and reading up on One Direction news. Perrie climbed up on the sofa next to me. I moved my phone so she could have some room, and moved over a little.

She leaned her head on my shoulder. “Dani,” she said, “I’m nervous about marrying Zayn.” She admitted. That surprises me. “Really?” I asked, “That boy loves you, Per,” I told her, “He loves you more then the world.”

“I know.” Perrie whispered, “He tells me every single day.”

“Then why are you worried?” I asked. “Because,” Perrie whispered, “Once we’re married… that means forever.. And ever. A life… forever.” I smiled in spite of her nervousness. “You’re made for each other,” I told her, “I know that for a fact.”

“But why am I so scared?” she asked. “Because,” I whispered, “It wouldn’t be normal if you weren’t worried. It’s just jitters.”

She played with the engagement ring as I talked to her. “And a future means kids.” Said Perrie. “I’m not ready for kids though. I’m still young, and I want to be able to focus on my career.”

“Just because I had Max at a young age, doesn’t mean you will you too,” I told her, “It’s different for everyone. When you and Zayn are ready, you’ll have kids. I didn’t plan Max, but he’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

Perrie shrugged, “I guess.” I smiled, and took a deep breath. Moments later, I saw my phones screen light up with an un-follow alert. Whatever. I get un-follows all the time. I picked up my phone to turn it off, but saw who the un-follow was from. It was from Liam.

Okay, I know life isn’t about your amount of followers, or anything, but when Liam continued following me on twitter, it gave me a little hope that he still liked to know what I was up to, or how I was feeling. I guess not.

I turned off my phone like I’d originally planned to, and put it down beside me. Right now I’m supposed to be comforting one of my best friends. She’s nervous about her marriage. I understand that must be a hard choice to make, trusting someone enough to marry them.

I sat there for a few moments, looking at the stupid TV show. Then I noticed that Max had fallen asleep. “I’m going to go put Max to bed.” I said to Perrie, as I stood up. She tilted to the side a little, because she had been leaning on me.

“Okay.” She replied, and sat back up. “I’m going to change the channel and go take some food from your fridge, okay?” I shrugged, “Sure, whatever.”

I picked up Max carefully, trying no to wake him. I’m going to have to get the costume off before he goes to sleep though, because he’ll get too hot in the night. I carried my baby up the stairs to his bedroom. I walked inside, the door creaking slightly.

It didn’t wake Max, thankfully. I lay Max down on his change table, and peeling the costume off. I remember Halloween. It was only a few weeks ago. It was really hard though.

Flashback…

Max and I walked around the streets, looking for the best houses. We decided to go to the other side of town, because they always have better candy. Max could say minimal words, but could get some different ones out. Sometimes, he’ll say a word, then never say it again.

“Dat.” Said Max, pointing up to a large brick house. “How about this one?” I asked, pointing to a different house. “Dat.” Max confirmed, pointing to it again. That’s Liam’s house. I can’t go there with our son.

“Sorry Max, we’ll just find another house. Okay?” I didn’t expect a reply from the one year old, but he turned around, pointed to Liam’s house, and said ‘Dad’.

“What did you say?” I asked, crouching down next to him. Busy trick-or-treaters rushed past us, trying to gather as much candy as they could this evening. “Dat.” Said Max, pointing at the house. A rush of relief flood over me.

I thought he said Dad. I was thinking, how would Max know that was his house, let alone his fathers?

“Let’s go.” I said to Max, just as some trick-or-treaters were knocking on Liam’s door. Max and I started to walk away, when Max turned around, and began to run to the house. “Max, no!” I exclaimed, chasing after him.

You may think it’s easy to chase a one year old down the sidewalk, but it’s not. Especially trying to dodge the trick-or-treaters. Max ran right up to the house as the door opened. “No!” I exclaimed. It was Sophia, and Liam, dressed in a couple’s costume. They were Mickey and Minnie Mouse.

That’s what Liam and I were a few years ago. Actually… I think Sophia’s wearing my costume.

“Max!” I exclaimed, catching up to him. I scooped him up from the back, and lay him in my arms. “Dat.” Said Max, pointing back, tears in his eyes. “Sorry bugaboo.” I apologized. “Maybe someday.”

I watched Sophia scoop out some candy to children, while some fans mixed in with the trick-or-treaters, wanting a photo op with Liam. I think he’s going to have a busy night.

End Flashback…

I put Max’s costume in the laundry, and lay him down in his crib, just in his little diaper. “You okay?” asked Perrie’s voice from the door. I turned around, and saw her leaning on the door-frame.

“You look like you were having a flashback, or something.” She observed. “Whatever.” I whispered, and pulled the blanket onto Max. Perrie walked inside and looked around. “Why do you hide his things?” she asked. “Because nobody can know.”

“Danielle.” She whispered. “Okay,” I said, turning around, “Louis, and Eleanor repeated my name a thousand times to get me to tell, but it’s not going to work again. Just, leave me alone please. I’m not telling Liam, ever.”

“I understand.” Said Perrie, “But I just wanted to say I’m proud of you, for being such an amazing mother to Max, and without any help from anyone. That’s something to look up too. Max is lucky to gave a mum like you.”

I smiled, Max’s blanket in my hands. “And I best be going,” said Perrie, making her way out of Max’s room. “By the way,” I stopped her, “When you and Zayn have kids, you’ll be the unbeatable parents everyone loves.”

She blushed, “Thanks.” With that, she left. I tucked Max’s blankets in, and turned off the lamp. I left the room, just as the front door slammed shut. I closed Max’s door, and went into the bathroom.

I can’t believe I told three people my secret today. That has to be some sort of record. But why did I tell? What does it gain me? Oh yeah, honesty, a babysitter, someone to talk to about Max, a babysitter, and people to help me raise Max.

Why didn't I tell them sooner ?