Collected Logs

I've never really journaled before. Never really thought anybody cared. I still think nobody does care, but what if something tragic happens to me like some of the published diaries I've read. Although it’s highly unlikely. Now it’s just the question where to start? Do I start at the beginning or do I start today? I think I’ll describe major events working my way up ‘till today.

I use to be in girl scouts that started when I was four I was a Daisy then. I went to a girl scout camp for about six years straight. I quit girl scouts after sixth grade being my third year as a Junior. The summer of going into sixth grade I moved from a small town to a slightly bigger, yet still small town. I miss my old house from time to time and often wish we could go back but what I really want is to go back in time .Moving to the slightly larger town brought me my new best friend, Jamie. We were inseparable. I remember spring break of sixth grade she and I had a big crush on Taylor Pierce. So we rode our bikes three miles in the rain just to go to his house. All great things must come to an end summer soon came to en end and Jamie moved to the east coast, I don’t even remember saying goodbye to her.

Seventh grade came around and I became more depressed by the day; writing depressing poetry but, I distracted myself by becoming obsessed with a new band that just signed with Fall Out Boys’ label. Their name was Panic at the Disco. I knew everything there was to know about them and memorized everything, including lyrics. I could even sing to their songs without the song playing. For my thirteenth birthday I got their first CD and saw a link to their website and saw they were coming to town. I had saved up all my birthday money for their concert t. The summer of going into eighth grade brought hopes of seeing Jamie, I had received a phone call from her and she said she was going to her dad’s for two weeks in July and she did, but I didn't get to see her.

For my fourteenth birthday only two out of nine guests came, I had to remind one. I received an acoustic guitar, two pairs of pants, and four Monster Energy Drinks. All from my parents. We watched horror movies, laughing at how stupid the actors were with a giant tub of popcorn.

The year was coming to an end when I got Mindless self Indulgence tickets, this would be my first concert that I would be in a mosh pit. I had a few bruises and I got the band’s autographs except for the guitarist.

Well that is pretty mush up to date. Yesterday we had a BBQ for father’s Day. Today I got two composition books, pencils, and a black notepad of paper. My mom wants me to take Moe, our dog, for a walk.

4:00 pm

Now that you know my history you're probably wondering about me personally. I’m fourteen and will be fifteen October 20th. I dyed my hair black, originally I have blonde hair, but I want to put purple in it. My mom and dad are still together and I have a little brother named Hunter; he is eleven. Music is a big part of my life and I’m going into the ninth grade at the local jr high school.

My favorite Disney movie is Alive in Wonderland. I have green eyes and I’m 5 foot 9 inches. I often vent my emotions to my online friend, Ryan Barret. He use to help but ever since I went to Arizona last spring break he’s changed and doesn't help like he did. I use to think I liked him, but I don’t think so anymore, but who I do like is Lucas Brooks, I've known him since the sixth grade. He’s someone who would understand me if he really got to know me or read what I wrote, but he has a girlfriend. I don’t think they’re too serious; he’s also bi-sexual. He has this thing with communism and moving to Japan. His dad is Jewish but I don’t think he himself has a religion. I’m raised Christian, but to be honest I don’t know anymore.

Ryan has a webcam and so do I and I want to be completely honest in my journal. I've seen him jack off and oh my god it’s hot. He’s also seen me finger myself and my boobs, but not recently. Since his cam broke and I haven’t really been horny. I know it goes exactly against why my mom doesn't want me to have a webcam, but in my situation I can’t see what can go wrong. I've seen him and he’s clearly not a forty year old pervert. We’re just two horny teenagers. He lives in Kentucky and has a younger brother, Aaron, and an abusive mother. His dad left him in the fifth grade. He’s fourteen but he skipped a grade and is going into tenth grade. My mom thinks he was in my math class.

11:28 pm

You’d never expect who called me when I went down stairs for dinner, Lucas. We talked for about an hour. I forgot I gave him my number, and my book. He’s coming by tomorrow to give me my book back, we’ll probably hang out too. Julie,my best friend, is also coming over tomorrow and spending the night, and Ryan thinks he knows what’s wrong with his webcam, he’s fixing it now.