Please Don't Take This Out on Me

"Kellin, watch out!" Matty yelled.

Too late to do that. The short mexican boy on the skateboard crashed hard into me kocking me on my back and the wind out of my lungs. It was bad enough this had to happen, but I have asthma so I started gasping and choking like someone gassed me. It didn't help the other boy was still on top of me. Matty was next to us slightly freaking out and the other guys were just laughing their asses off.

I still can't breathe. The other kid finally got off me and Matty yanked me up, and started feeling in my pockets for my inhaler. Now, everyone was looking at us. And here comes the anxiety! By now I was being felt up by Matty, laughed at by those boys, and stared at by everyone else. And I still can't fucking BREATHE.

Screw this shit, I thought right before I blacked out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"God dammit, Vic. Watch where you're going. I mean, Jesus Christ, he's just a shadow." I heard Matty say. The kid who ran into me must be Vic. I pretended to be out still because I wanted to know what they were like around each other when outsiders weren't around.

"He's fine. He'll live." Vic scoffed.

"Vic! Stop being a douche bag and apologize or something! The kid had an asthma attack for Christ's sake!" Thank you, Matty.

"Well, he's breathing isn't he?" Well, somebody's a bit sassy.

"God, you know what? Fuck off, man, if you're gonna be an asshole, just leave." I liked this Matty kid, he was cool.

I heard shuffling and then what sounded like someone being thrown against a wall. "One of these days, Matt, I'm gonna beat you to the ground, and I won't regret it." A body dropped and footsteps stomped out of the room.

Now's probably a good time to wake up.

I ripped my eyes open and saw Matty on the floor taking deep breaths. I sat up and got dizzy so I took a second to gain my bearings and got off the little couch I was on to help Matty. I grabbed his arm and helped him up. Matty smiled but it looked like he was still in pain. I don't know what this Vic kid did to him but they obviously have some kind of history of hatred. "You didn't have to help me." I told him.

"Don't worry about it, man. He hates me. I don't even know why. We used to be best friends then one day . . . I don't know. He beat the shit out of me in the parking lot." Matty sighed.

I understood that. "I get it. One day, my friend Andy just called me up and pretty much told me I was too damn complicated and hasn't talked to me since."

Matty gave me a sympathetic look and hit my shoulder. It was a little hard and kinda hurt so I stumbled and bit and probably looked like a major pussy. Nice going, Kellin.

"Come on, let's go to lunch, you can meet everyone." Matty smiled encouragingly and I followed him out of the office.

We pushed to the cafeteria and I almost felt myself shrink. I was a small kid in the first place, it didn't help that I was way too skinny and everyone here was tall. Matty waved and yelled to someone behind me and a super tall guy who had tattoo sleeves and brown hair came up to us. He grabbed Matty is a faux headlock and they both started laughing.

The tall kid seemed to notice I was getting awkward and a little scared because he stuck his hand out that wasn't half-strangling Matty. "I'm Austin." He smiled and laughed a little.

I hesitated taking his hand, but I finally gave in and instead of shaking my hand he yanked me in and hugged me. He was bent over hugging me and whispered to me, "I saw the marks on your arms. Find me after school, we need to talk."

He pulled away and smiled like nothing happened. I just looked at him horrified. He knew. How could I have been so careless and let someone see my scars when I wasn't even enrolled here yet?

Matty just looked at us for a second before shoving Austin in the direction of a table with two other ginger kids. He led me to a salad bar thank God. I'm sure the food here is disgusting. Not to mention drowning in oil and fat.

I got a really small salad and I'm pretty sure Matty wanted to say something but instead he kept his mouth shut and pretended it was normal for people to consume so little.

We walked to the table I saw Austin sit down at and sat close to Matty. I didn't want to make him uncomforable or anything, I just don't do well around new people.

Matty introduced the kids at his table but I didn't really listen. The only ones I remember are Jesse, Alan, and a girl named Jenna.

"So, Kellin, why did you come to San Diego?" Jenna asked out of nowhere.

I whipped my head up and didn't say anything.

"Come on, it's okay, nobody is gonna judge you." Jenna smiled at me and I just shrugged.

I stared at my plate and didn't eat at all. When the bell rang, I followed Matty and Austin to the class they had together.

I didn't see Vic at all the rest of the day and was glad for that. Finally the day was over. I thanked Matty for being so nice to me and introducing me to his friends and he said not to worry, that he would help me out again on Monday.

I didn't meet Austin after school. I was too scared. I don't like people knowing about my personal life so Austin already knowing I cut myself is just going to make everything that much fucking worse.

Now to go back to my slice of hell . . .