Please Don't Take This Out on Me

I shuffled forward and Vic nodded at Mr. Stump.

"Take care of him, Vic."

Vic nodded and put his arm around my shoulders, steering me towards the door. I just followed him. I didn't have the energy to fight back and at this point I was so over everything it didn't even matter to me.

When we got to his car, he held out his hand. "Bag." He just said.

I shrugged off my backpack and handed it to him. He set it in the back seat and I couldn't help but notice how big his backseat was.

WHOA THERE. NOT EVEN GONNA GO THERE. STOP. BAD KELLIN.

Vic opened the passenger door for me and I got in clumsily. Bet that was attractive. He slid into the other side and pulled out of his parking space. We didn't speak the whole time. We were both just silent and focused either on the road or what we were passing through the window. When the car stopped, I immediately looked around and realized we were not at his house.

"Why are we at the beach?" I asked quietly.

"Because. Come on."

He didn't answer my question, but I wasn't going to push my luck. We got out and stepped into the sand. Vic held out his hand, and I slid my fingers in between his. He pulled me toward the water.

I dug my heels into the sand and held him back. "I can't swim." Well, this is embarrassing...

"We're not going in the water, we're going near the water. Come on." Vic pulled me back towards it. I hesitated and swallowed dryly. "I'm not gonna let you drown. If I wanted to get rid of you, you'd be gone."

I still didn't trust him, but I let him tug me along. After a minute or two of walking and hand holding (which was starting to get weird since I'm not even sure where we stand at this point but whatever) Vic pulled out his phone and his tangled mess of headphones fell out too. I leaned down and picked them up, wiping as much sand off as I could and untangling them carefully. When I handed them back, I saw Vic staring at me. I couldn't help it, I blushed.

Vic plugged his headphones in and handed me one. I took it and he played a song I'd never heard before. It didn't have any lyrics but it was rock with a kind of Spanish flair. It was rad. Plus the music with the waves from the ocean sounded really cool together.

We stopped at a tall rock and Vic helped me onto it. Vic sat down before me and stretched his legs out. He pulled me down so I was sitting in between his legs and had my back resting against his chest. He leaned back a bit and we just sat for a while.

I don't know how long we were there, but we listened to his whole playlist.

"Vic, why did you take me here?" I rested my elbows on his thighs and opened the camera on his phone.

"I always come here when I'm upset. It's relaxing to think that maybe if you concentrate hard enough, you're problems could wash away like water." Vic explained.

Well...that was deep. "Oh...well thank you." I tilted my head back and looked up at him. He leaned down and kissed my forehead, my nose and then my lips. It was a really couple-y thing to do and I realized, I didn't care. It was nice. "Why aren't you always like this?" I asked randomly.

"I don't know." Vic muttered. I pressed my lips to his again and then reopened the camera on his phone. I turned it to the front camera and made a face. Vic did the same thing and I ended up taking about twenty selfies. I smiled a really big (probably disgusting looking) smile and Vic leaned forward and kissed my cheek.

I went to the pictures we took and looked through them, deleting the ones that I thought were gross. Going to delete one, Vic grabbed the phone.

"Hey, I like that one." Vic smiled at it.

"No," I whined.

"Why?" He whined back.

"Because." I flipped over so I was on my front. "You can see my freckles."

Vic zoomed in on my face. "What's the problem with that? I like your freckles. They're cute."

I let my head drop onto his chest. "Noooo, eewwww." I groaned, voice muffled by his shirt. I don't know why, but I had always hated my freckles. And Vic was one of those stupid fuckers that had perfect skin, so I couldn't help but hate them more.

"And because you hate it so much, I'm making it my wallpaper." Vic pressed a few buttons, and I reached forward and tried to grab it from his hands.

He outstretched his arms so I couldn't reach and moved the picture a bit to center it. I scooted up a bit, and reached out again. Vic laid down and reached his arms over his head and looked up at it. Laying down on his chest, I went to grab his phone, and he fucking licked my cheek. "Ew!" I squealed.

Vic laughed. "How the hell do you have a problem with that?! My tongue's been in your mouth you weirdo! It's not like we haven't swapped spit before!"

"Just because it's been in my mouth doesn't mean it belongs on my face!" I reasoned, the phone forgotten. He leaned forward and licked the other one. "Oh my god! Why would you do that?!"

"Now your face is even." Vic shrugged and pressed okay on his phone, setting the wallpaper.

"You're disgusting. Don't you know boys have cooties?" I pouted.

"Don't you have cooties too then?"

"Yeah, but I have good cooties. You have nasty Mexican cooties." I stuck my tongue out.

"That was so racist." Vic said simply.

"O-oh my God, I'm sorry. That was. Actually, I am so sorry that was terrible." I can't believe I said that. That actually was really racist.

Vic's face broke into a smile. "Kellin, I'm kidding. I don't care."

Oh, thank you God. I giggled nervously and sighed.

"We should go back. I need to talk to my parents and school is probably out by now. But you can hang with Mike for a while. He thinks you're okay." Vic sat up and sifted me. Standing, he grabbed my hand and pulled me up. I leaned against him and he stepped in front of me, bending down a bit. I hopped on his back and wrapped my legs around his waist and arms around his neck. Soon enough, I was asleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As soon as I woke up, I heard voices.

"-sent him home with me because his dad hits him. He's being abused daily. There's no way in hell you're gonna let him just go back there are you?" That was Vic.

"No, I won't do that. If Patrick noticed it, it must be true." A woman's voice I didn't recognize said softly.

"It's bad ma, like the kid has a broken nose. He said if he went home he was gonna get hit again." Mike spoke.

"And for the first time in a while, I'm scared mama. It's not just his dad that's a problem. He...hurts...himself, ma." Vic said carefully.

"Oh." She sighed sadly. "Are you sure?"

"The evidence is there. Literally, it's all over him." Mike added.

"Oh...of course he can stay." Their mom agreed.

A few moments later, I heard soft footsteps coming up the stairs. The door to the room I was in opened and shut quietly. I cracked my eyes open slightly, seeing Vic in the room. This must be his room. His bed. Oh damn. I never realized how good he smelled, but I could smell it on his sheets. He smelled like cigarette smoke and coffee with something that could have been whiskey or cinnamon. It was awesome.

He had his back to me and dug around in his drawers. Pulling out a pair of sweats and a different shirt, Vic set them on top of his dresser. He pulled off his snapback and then started tugging off his shirt. I raked my eyes over his bare back, it was muscular but not grossly so and he had to dimples right above his boxers.

The sweat pants he had, we cut on the bottom and the elastic was taken out. Vic tugged off his jeans, and I'll admit, he had a great ass. Slipping his pants over that ass, he turned back to me and saw me awake.

I expected him to blush or something but no. He just smiled a bit and sat on the bed next to me. "Hi."

"Hi." My voice was high and gravelly from sleep.

"My mom wants to talk to you, but she wants to wait until tomorrow. She also said she doesn't want you to go to school until you go to the doctor. And I'll take you tomorrow." Vic explained.

I didn't want to do any of those things but I didn't have a choice. I just nodded.

"Take a shower, I'll make you something to eat. Do you want something else to wear?" Vic stood.

I nodded again and he grabbed a Pantera shirt with a pair of grey sweat pants.

"Sorry if they're big...yeah. Just call me if you need anything." Vic nodded once and left the room.

I went into his bathroom and stripped down. I looked myself over in his mirror and after about five minutes I decided if I inspected myself any longer, I'd do something stupid.

Actually...fuck it.

***TRIGGER***

I dug a bit and found a pack of razors. Pulling one out, I broke the plastic rim and cut the wire holding the razors together.

Grabbing one, I stepped into the shower and closed the curtain. Realizing I didn't know how to work the shower, I stepped out and wrapped a towel around myself and yelled for Vic.

When he came in I noticed I never put the razors away.

"What's up?"

My eyes were downcast as I spoke. "I don't know how to work your shower."

"Oh, here. I'll handle that." Vic reached in and did something to both knobs and got the water so it was steaming but not scalding. As he was leaving, he saw the razors I had failed to put away. "Were you going to do what I think you were going to do?"

"Uh..."

"Do not lie to me." Vic's tone was so calm, it was terrifying.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I mumbled.

"Give them to me. All of them." He ordered and held his hand out.

I crossed my arms over my chest. "No, I don't have to. You can't make me..."

"But I can, and I will. Hand over the razors."

"Why does it even matter to you? You don't know what it's like. You have no idea what it's like-" he cut me off.

"What? To lay in bed and recount all of the things you fucked up in your life. All of the things that you could have changed if you had actually used the sense God gave you. To fall asleep crying every single night, not because of the tears lulling you, but because your body gave in and couldn't even have the capacity to stay awake because you're so exhausted." Vic yanked up his shirt and pushed his pants down a bit, exposing marred and flawed skin I had never seen before. "I hate me just as much as you hate me. Probably more. You ain't the only one with issues with self-image, kitten. Just keep that in mind next time you want to cut yourself in my shower. Now give them to me and take your shower."

I was ashamed and mortified. He had told me about his self-hatred but I didn't know whether or not to believe him. Now I have proof. Vic Fuentes maybe a cocky asshole most of the time, but he's nothing more than an insecure 'faggot'.

I handed him the razor I had been holding and he gave me a disappointed look. "I'm sorry." I mumbled.

"Don't be apologizing to me. Just don't do it again." Vic said simply. He turned back to the door and before he left he stopped. "Oh, and if you think I'm not going to tell Patrick about this, you're lying to yourself."

I could feel my eyes watering. Perfect, now I was gonna cry in front of him. "Please don't tell him." I whispered.

"I'm not keeping this a secret. There's nothing you could say that would make me change my mind about that." Vic opened the door and left.

Not knowing what else to do, I slipped the towel off and stepped into the shower, collapsing to the floor and crying.