Cry Out to Me

I'm awake when Ilse is asleep.

The night before, I woke up in the middle of the night. I felt like I had enough sleep. I was always there to watch over her when she's asleep, even when there's nothing threatening coming for us. I just want her to be safe. I want to take all her pain and bear it all myself. She didn't deserve to have horrible parents, or to starve like this. She's a cheerful, loving girl, sometimes impossibly carefree when she's actually holding it all inside her heart.

I know her because I live inside of her. Her soul is the only reason I exist. And while I'm the only one to know this, Ilse believes that I'm her brother. Because of that, I treat her like my sister. But sometimes I feel wrong to be here. Mother and Father never liked me, yet Ilse still talks about me to them. It makes me feel even more guilty.

That's why I want to protect her, so I can at least be of use.

I felt the cold air of the night entering our room through the hole on the walls. I've sealed them before, but they kept opening up. Ilse will get sick if it goes on, so I went to seal them up again so it'll stay a little more warmer. The moonlight lit up this dark room dimly from the window. The view only showed a silent, endless field of grass, as the other side of our house faces to the forest.

As I went to reseal the small hole that opens up to the next bedroom, I overheard our parents talking. Mother sounded angry - like she always does - while Father pleads her not to.

"We've been running out of food because you always come home with nothing! What will be the end of me, Andrew?" Mother said.

"I'm sorry, Evelin, I-"

"You're always sorry! Why don't you try to make it up, for once?"

Father was silent, so Mother spoke again. "I can't go on like this. Let's abandon Ilse in the forest, then we'll have enough to eat."

"But we can't do that, she's just a poor child..." Father protested.

"We'll die ourselves this way, you fool! What is use of her? She's only another waste of air. She's crazy, too. What kind of kid still has imaginary friends at 14 years old?"

I prayed for Father to defend us, but he didn't. He nodded sadly, influenced by Mother's words.

I only sat there in shock for the next few minutes that felt like hours, until there were no more voices and my parents were fully asleep. I should have known. The truth is, Evelin and Andrew aren't our real parents. Ilse doesn't know this because I'm the only one that has memories of our real parents, and I don't want to tell her either because I'm afraid that it'll just hurt her. The memories are kind of hazy, but I know that they're real.

So I should have prepared myself for Ilse and I to be abandoned twice by both parents.

I pulled my hair in frustration, and I realised that my hair is getting longer. I pulled a knife from under the bed and began to cut it as I looked into the broken mirror. This is the answer to Ilse's confusion about her hair growing shorter instead of longer. I firstly thought that she won't like it, but she said that she doesn't mind. She likes it instead.

I cleaned up the pieces of hair on the floor and looked at myself in the mirror again. Now I have my usual short, black hair. I laid down on my bed while facing the ceiling, thinking of how we will make our way out of the deep forest. I had a great idea, and planned to tell Ilse the next morning.

Back to the present, Ilse have managed to slip the piece of bread she saved for me during breakfast. Mother told her to play outside instead of doing chores, so we went to the stream near our house.

Now Ilse sits on the edge of the stream with her toes touching the cold water as she stares into the distance. She offers me the piece of bread, but I refuse and tell her to keep it for later.

"Hey Louie, I'm bored. Will you play with me?" She asks me.

"I'm sorry, Ilse," I said. "I can't play with you."

"Oh, okay. It's okay. Then let's just talk!" She says with a cheerful tone.

"Well... yeah. I really do need to talk to you about something."

Ilse goes silent, giving me a hint to continue with what I want to say. "I overheard Mother and Father talking last night. They said that they wanted to abandon us in the forest, today."

Ilse's eyes widen in shock, and her eyes start to be glassy from the tears that almost fell out. "Now is all over with us."

"Don't cry, sister. I have a plan so we can get back home. Let's collect these pebbles so we can mark out our way back home."

We are in the middle of collecting those smooth, round pebbles when Mother calls us back in.