Believe in This

Three weeks whizzed by quicker than I expected and honestly quicker than I would have liked them to. Benedict and I managed to keep our relationship mostly hidden while on set, save the occasional stolen kiss behind the camera or the flirtatious, borderline dirty, text messages we would exchange from our respective makeup chairs. Though our relationship offset was a completely different story. We hadn’t had sex, yet, though that fact didn’t stop us from climbing into bed together and going to sleep in each other’s arms after reading, watching a film, or just talking to one another.

If we weren’t on set or in the flat, we were discovering the nooks and crannies of Cardiff. Ben had, of course, filmed in the city before but never had the opportunity for much exploring. Two nights out of every week, I would attempt to teach Ben the art of cooking though after the first night of trying to make homemade ravioli I decided it was better if I bought two of everything we would be cooking so that I would have backup ingredients. But I could confidently say after two weeks that without any assistance Ben could now make cheese ravioli, baked chicken parmesan, taco bake, and pizza.

For the first week our relationship had remained hidden from all of our friends and coworkers, excluding Martin and Amanda who had caught us snogging in my dressing room. Yesterday that all changed when Grace nearly blew my eardrum out by calling me at one in the morning, screaming about the latest Daily Mail article. After receiving an earful for ten minutes, ten minutes during which Benedict rested his chin on my shoulder and laughed as I was scolded, she sent me the link to the article giving us the chance to read it for ourselves instead of going off of her summarization.

“Deducing the Art of Love?

Benedict Cumberbatch, star of the BBC hit Sherlock, was recently spotted out and about in Cardiff with up-coming actress Charlotte Hughes. Hughes, who has had a slow but steady rise to stardom with guest appearances on Secret Diary of a Call Girl and Doctor Who, a stint as Baby in the West End production of Dirty Dancing, and an upcoming role in Ryan’s Gosling’s directorial debut Lost River, is rumored to be the newest cast member for Season 4.

An avid user of social media, it’s been Charlotte’s postings on Instagram and Twitter that have caused the rumors not only of her involvement on the show but also with Cumberbatch to come into the limelight. It only took one posting of her with the Cumberbatch, who’s tipped to be nominated for an Oscar for his role in The Imitation Game, for her following to skyrocket by the thousands. The photos of the two with costars Martin Freeman and Amanda Abbington would leave some to believe that the two are just friends but those rumors were laid to rest just last night.

Late in the evening, Cumberbatch and Hughes were spotted leaving Yakitoria #1 hand in hand with Freeman and his partner, Amanda. As he held on to his new love interest, perhaps on screen as well as off, it was obvious for all to see that their relationship went far beyond friends. Benedict and Cumberbatch appeared to block out their surroundings as they walked back, to what is assumed the flat they are sharing, only having eyes for each other and showering one another with both attention and affection.

One thing’s for sure, Cumberbcollectives around the world are either in mourning or wishing they were such good ‘friends’ with Benedict.”

Pictures of our outing were interspersed throughout the article, a few of us kissing making it in there as well, along with the mentioned photos taken from my Instagram account. I was beginning to see why so many celebrities stayed away from social media. Benedict didn’t take the article too well, loathing the fact that we couldn’t just be a normal couple for a few weeks before we had the paparazzi trailing after us at every street corner. For the remainder of our time in Cardiff we either ignored them all together or did our best to avoid them whenever we stepped out of the flat, deciding we wouldn’t let such outsiders have an effect on our relationship.

Now that we were back in London it was a little weird not getting to see Benedict every day, a sight I had grown used to in the month we had spent in Cardiff. He had been busy for the past week, auditions, contract negotiations, photo shoots and what have you but he had promised to take me to dinner tonight after meeting with Karon. Having the day to myself, I took it as an opportunity to do some serious cleaning. I wasn’t a messy person but after having been gone for a month the flat just smelled kind of, stale and unlived in. After a good airing out, which didn’t last as long as I would have liked since I could only deal with the December air for so long, I went through the cupboards and the refrigerator, throwing everything out that had gone bad, did my usual dusting, mopping, and vacuuming and managed to get all of my clothes washed and put away. Once I felt like ‘winter cleaning’ should replace ‘spring cleaning’ I popped down to the shop so I could restock all of my food supplies. It wasn’t until I got back that I realized it was nearly six and Ben would be picking me up in just over an hour. When he pulled up outside, ten minutes past seven I might add, I was glad to see he had opted for driving the Jaguar instead of his motorcycle. Grabbing my coat, I quickly slipped it on and practically jumped off the front step and into his arms having not seen him for seven days.

Pulling his lips away from mine he carefully sat me back on my feet, “Not being able to see you every day is driving me absolutely mad.”

“Well then I must not have been as hard to live with as I expected. I figured a month of living with me and you would be ready to take a yearlong holiday.”

Rubbing his thumb across my cheek he gave a simple shake of his head, “Quite the contrary my dear, though if it was a yearlong holiday with you I would ask when the plane takes off.”

It didn’t take long for him to drive to The Barnyard, a surprise with all of the traffic and soon we
were seated with our hands linked across the table after ordering our meals.

“So I have something to ask of you but just know that if you say ‘no’ I will completely understand and be in no way disappointed.”

I nodded letting him know to continue as I was very curious what he was about to ask of me.

“There and Back Again comes out in a few weeks and Karon just got the schedule for the premieres and promotional tour from Peter this afternoon. There’s going to be a premiere here in London and then one other in Los Angeles. Now I know that we haven’t been together all that long but if you would join me for them I would be extremely flattered and gracious. Perhaps some of the attention will be focused on the gorgeous lady on my arms rather than myself.”

The wheels in my head were sent for a spin as I contemplated Benedict’s request. We had only been dating for three weeks but then again, not many couples live with each other when they begin dating. We had been photographed together, who could forget that, and we were probably being photographed at this very moment, but nothing sent a statement out like attending a world premiere with your significant other. My mind got to work concocting the headlines that would be printed, the Tumblr posts we would be tagged in, the people that would be critiquing my every move, calling me an attention whore and claiming I was only with Ben for the fame and his money.

“Charlotte?”

Snapping out of my thoughts, I looked up from the table to realizing I had been off in my own world for a few minutes. Even with all of the above things considered I didn’t care what others would say about me, I knew what our relationship was about and for me that was all that mattered.

“Sorry, I got caught up in my own mind palace for a second. You should probably get used to that by the way. Anyways, I would love to go with you but I’m just going to go ahead and apologize because I’ll probably be a nervous wreck.”

“I think you’ll do magnificently. At least you don’t have to give interviews and listen to the same questions over and over again but I’m sure everyone will be asking who the beautiful woman on my arms is.”

“That’s what I’m worried about.” I mumbled.

Sensing my hesitation, Benedict scooted out from his side of the table and took up residence on my own, wrapping his arm around me and pulling me into his body, a move that he knew would calm me down instantly.

“Darling, you have nothing to worry about. I was the exact same way when I first came into the limelight and the first few articles I read pertaining to myself had little to nothing good to say. But I quickly realized that I only care about the opinion of the one’s I love and my own. I have no doubt everyone will love you but in the end all you have to do is remember that they don’t matter.”

Glancing at him from his shoulder I couldn’t help but wonder, “It won’t bother you if your fans don’t like me?”

“Absolutely not, I may adore them and be forever thankful of them but in the end they don’t rule my life or have a say in my decisions. I like you Ms. Hughes and that’s all that matters.”

I smiled up at my boyfriend suddenly feeling like a fool for letting my insecurities get the best of me, even if I was dating one of Britain’s biggest stars. Grace was always telling me that I never gave myself enough credit and that I shouldn’t be so insecure and now I was seeing the truth in her statement. I would just have to learn that not everyone’s opinion matters.

“There’s that smile.”

Looking up at Benedict it was like he ran my insecurities off, it didn’t matter if I was wearing a garbage bag or Oscar de la Renta dress because in his eyes I was always the center of attention.